Please, please, PLEASE help me!! I'm lost!!

[DisneyWonder]

Ok, here is my situation: Myself, DH, DD3, DB16, DB's GF15, and DM51 are all booked on a 7-night Carnival cruise departing April 1, 2012. We had all decided to take a vacation together around this time, and the cruise was what "we" decided on. I say "we" because my husband and I weren't thrilled about it, but it was what my DM and DB really wanted. It is booked and paid for, but I can still cancel with no penalty. DH and I are now thinking we would like to pull the money out of the cruise, and do an all-inclusive Disney package for just the three of us (myself, DH, and DD3 who would be 4 by the time we went). I have multiple questions. How do I break it to DM that we don't want to do the cruise? She will be devastated. She IS a Disney person (we have all gone together once a year for the past three years, and she raised my siblings and I as a "Disney family" that went at least once a year for my entire childhood. I should probably mention, I am 28 now.) This would be our first family vacation by ourselves, just us three. The whole fam is actually planning a Halloween trip for 2012 also, but I am really feeling like I would rather do a 5-night stay the first week of March than the Carnival cruise. And do the Halloween trip too!
My next question is, how do I book it? Through a travel agent? Through the Disney website? I was checking availability and rates through the Disney website, and then my travel agent actually quoted me a higher price than what I had found myself! How do you all book? We have almost always stayed off-site, so I don't have much experience booking Disney properties (Let's face it, I don't have ANY! My mom always does it!) Are there discounts I am missing out on by booking directly through Disney? I know I am planning to arrive between March 3-8 so we can do free dining.
HHHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!!!!

 

[DisneyWonder]

I guess I should add that my main concern is for DM. Is she still going to want to go on the cruise if it is just her, DB, and DB's GF? Will she be lonely all the time when they go off together? Will she want to just scrap the whole thing? I would love it if she would decide to just cancel the cruise and come to Disney with us (DB and his GF too), but I don't see that happening. My brother's GF has NEVER missed one day of school her entire life, and refuses to miss school for a vacation. This would be a non-negotiable for us though, because we are set on doing the free dining. And now I'm just typing all of the random thoughts that are roaming through my head... I'll stop if you promise to give me advice!!!

 

[DrDoofenshmirtz]

Ok, here is my situation: Myself, DH, DD3, DB16, DB's GF15, and DM51 are all booked on a 7-night Carnival cruise departing April 1, 2012. We had all decided to take a vacation together around this time, and the cruise was what "we" decided on. I say "we" because my husband and I weren't thrilled about it, but it was what my DM and DB really wanted. It is booked and paid for, but I can still cancel with no penalty. DH and I are now thinking we would like to pull the money out of the cruise, and do an all-inclusive Disney package for just the three of us (myself, DH, and DD3 who would be 4 by the time we went). I have multiple questions. How do I break it to DM that we don't want to do the cruise? She will be devastated. She IS a Disney person (we have all gone together once a year for the past three years, and she raised my siblings and I as a "Disney family" that went at least once a year for my entire childhood. I should probably mention, I am 28 now.) This would be our first family vacation by ourselves, just us three. The whole fam is actually planning a Halloween trip for 2012 also, but I am really feeling like I would rather do a 5-night stay the first week of March than the Carnival cruise. And do the Halloween trip too!
My next question is, how do I book it? Through a travel agent? Through the Disney website? I was checking availability and rates through the Disney website, and then my travel agent actually quoted me a higher price than what I had found myself! How do you all book? We have almost always stayed off-site, so I don't have much experience booking Disney properties (Let's face it, I don't have ANY! My mom always does it!) Are there discounts I am missing out on by booking directly through Disney? I know I am planning to arrive between March 3-8 so we can do free dining.
HHHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!!!!

Well, you have a dilly of a pickle there, don't you?

As far as the cruise goes, I'd suggest just telling your DM the truth. You love her, and you appreciate the love of Disney she instilled in you, but you want a personal trip with just hubby and daughter. Also, make sure she knows that a cruise doesn't really appeal to you. That's ok, cruising seems kind of dull to me. But, definitely let her know you just want to spend this trip, alone with DH and DD. Besides, you'll still have that awesome Halloween trip for the whole clan.

As far as booking the trip, I'd suggest checking the WDW website, and seeing what you can do that way. Then contact any of the fine independant travel agents, and ask for a free quote. Tell them what you found, and ask them if they can beat it.

Good luck.

 

[DebbieB]

If the cruise is already booked and paid for, I would stay with it. Your mother is planning a trip with all of you, you said she would be devastated. The time to speak up was before the plans were made.

 

[fastergoofy]

I can understand wanting to back out of a Carnival Cruise. Just sit down and talk with Mom. Is there some way to bring her along to Disney? It seems unfair to leave her out if she's had her heart set on a vacation with her family.

 

[gigi1313]

Disney fanatic here... did a carnival cruise this summer just 'cause we needed to get away, our dates were somewhat limited and we were saving our airmiles for our upcoming Thanksgiving trip... and we reallllly enjoyed it! Far more than i expected!! It did not replace Disney in our hearts, but it was a nice different vacation!

Honestly, since you are going to WDW again in the fall next year i'd go w/the cruise plan... besides, don't you want to wait 'til Fantasyland is more complete w/the overhaul?!

Or, have you considered a land/sea vacation w/a little WDW thrown in to the cruise trip? maybe rebook a shorter length cruise, and sneak in a few immediate family Disney days?

 

[pepperw23]

Who paid for the cruise? If DM is footing the bill, I would go on the cruise and not complain. It is nice of her to pay for your vacation.

If you are paying for it I say why not compromise? Go on the cruise but stay at a Disney resort the day before and maybe a day or two after.

If your DM is going to be "devastated" how much fun would you really be able to have at Disney anyway? Enjoy your Mom while you still have her around and she is young enough to still be fun. There will be plenty of time for separate vacations later.

 

[DisneyWonder]

Loving the responses-keep em' coming! I need all the advice I can get. To answer some of your questions, DH and I paid for the cruise ourselves. Also, our cruise leaves out of Galveston, so doing a shorter cruise plus a Disney vacay isn't really an option. And I would LOVE it if my mom and brother would skip the cruise and come to WDW with us! I just don't know if they would want to, since we were just there in August, and are going again in October 2012.

 

[MainMom]

Since you have another trip planned for 2012 I would go on the cruise.

 

[POOHsie]

I'm a mom who has a DD 26. I don't know the reason why you all decided on a cruise in the first place. Was it something your mom and/or DB wanted to do, to get away from same-old, same-old WDW trip? We are also a Disney-oriented family and visit as often as we can. My DD got married in WDW. But not long after the wedding, our new combined families went on a family cruise thru the western Caribbean all the way to Cozumel and back. It was great, there was stuff to do all day and night, and everyone loved it. Like your DH, my DH didn't want to go on the cruise. But we had been married a lot longer. My DH stayed home, and nobody missed him because he wasn't going to enjoy the cruise.

On a personal note, as a mom of someone your age, I would be greatly looking forward to that cruise. Cruising is not something I would do on my own, as I said, my DH doesn't enjoy it. So a cruise opportunity with family would really get me excited. So then, if my DD canceled her participation in a family cruise that was already planned and paid for, and left me behind to fend for myself and other family members, while she took a replacement vacation with her DH, I would be hurt. That's all I can say.

 

[kandb]

Maybe when you talk to your mom, hint that you are having mixed feelings about the cruise. If she seems very upset if you don't go, I would go on the cruise since you did say you would go and it just doesn't seem right to back out on her. I know you want a personal trip but just plan a personal trip for the next vacation.

 

[pjhootch]

I think you already know the answer to this. You said your mother would be devastated and then asked other people how she would feel. You've got it figured out already.

Carnival cruises are a blast. We have taken our family and had a great time. There is a lot for all ages to do and little bit of everything to make a variety of people happy.

Is your mother in a cabin by herself right now? How are your rooms booked on the cruise? Your pulling out could make a difference in cost for her, depending on how you booked the occupancy for the cruise cabins.

Mostly, you need to talk to your mother. Immediately. You also need to check how your cruise was booked, because if you booked the early saver rate it is not fully refundable. Double check before you make any decisions, and then have a serious talk with your mother.

 

[Marthasor]

Ok, here is my situation: Myself, DH, DD3, DB16, DB's GF15, and DM51 are all booked on a 7-night Carnival cruise departing April 1, 2012. We had all decided to take a vacation together around this time, and the cruise was what "we" decided on. I say "we" because my husband and I weren't thrilled about it, but it was what my DM and DB really wanted. It is booked and paid for, but I can still cancel with no penalty. DH and I are now thinking we would like to pull the money out of the cruise, and do an all-inclusive Disney package for just the three of us (myself, DH, and DD3 who would be 4 by the time we went). I have multiple questions. How do I break it to DM that we don't want to do the cruise? She will be devastated. She IS a Disney person (we have all gone together once a year for the past three years, and she raised my siblings and I as a "Disney family" that went at least once a year for my entire childhood. I should probably mention, I am 28 now.) This would be our first family vacation by ourselves, just us three. The whole fam is actually planning a Halloween trip for 2012 also, but I am really feeling like I would rather do a 5-night stay the first week of March than the Carnival cruise. And do the Halloween trip too!
My next question is, how do I book it? Through a travel agent? Through the Disney website? I was checking availability and rates through the Disney website, and then my travel agent actually quoted me a higher price than what I had found myself! How do you all book? We have almost always stayed off-site, so I don't have much experience booking Disney properties (Let's face it, I don't have ANY! My mom always does it!) Are there discounts I am missing out on by booking directly through Disney? I know I am planning to arrive between March 3-8 so we can do free dining.
HHHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!!!!

You do have a big decision to make! I won't comment on whether to go on the cruise or not. You can book the free dining package on your own through Disney. The room only discount does not cover those dates, so free dining is the only offer currently available. You could check AAA as occasionally their package offers are lower than Disney's, but that is usually only during a time Disney is not offering a deal - so my guess is free dining is the best deal you are going to get during your dates. I have not had good luck with AAA, so I can't really recommend using them. The advantage of booking through a Disney travel agent may not be a financial one (unless an agency is running an agency exclusive where they book a block of rooms - you can get some great deals when these exclusives are running! You may want to poke around on some of their sites to see if they are offering anything). The advantage of using an agent who really knows their Disney stuff is you are going to get pre-arrival concierge level service - they will book your dining, customize your itinerary for you, and try to get you a better deal if another offer comes out during your travel dates. They basically take some of the planning work off of your hands. Hope this helps, at least on the planning end should you decide Disney over the cruise.

 

[iceprincesskcl]

Ultimately it's your choice! Just an insider for Carnival though, I worked for carnival for many years, and there are plenty of things for you to do on the ship and off! As well as great activities for your daughter at Camp Carnival, the camp staff are wonderful and the kids always have a great time! As well for your brother and his gf, there is a club for them too!!! Anyways whatever you decide i'm sure you'll have a great time!! Happy Vacation.

 

[henry72]

You have already said you would go on the cruise. Your mom is excited about it. You have already paid for the cruise. I think it would be terrible (as well as rude) to back out now. I have been on cruises before and had a blast. You can take a family vacation at another time - plus you were just at Disney and have another trip already planned. Stick with the cruise.

 

[goofyfordisney]

Sounds like your mom would be so upset if you changed plans. Is it really worth the hurt feelings? Probably not. Try the cruise and enjoy yourselves! How bad could it be? You'll be on vacation! Sounds like you've been on many Disney trips. WDW isn't going anywhere - it will be much more improved, too by the time you go back next fall (Fantasyland expansion).

Good luck with your decision.

 

[Lynne M]

Yep, I think you know the answer, too. Your mom would be devastated. You've already booked and committed to go. That means you go.

I don't mean this unkindly, but family vacations can't always be about what you want. Other family members get a say, too. If I'm understanding correctly, you already have a family vacation planned for where you want to go, for Halloween.

It sounds to me like this is something she's wanted to do with the family for some time. She took you to Disney every year when you were a kid. Now it's her turn.

And by all means, give cruising a try. There's tons to do, for the whole family. I took my first cruise this weekend. It was a blast, from beginning to end. You may find that you love it as much as you love WDW.

 

[gigi1313]

OP, i just had a thought... Disney will be cruising out of Galveston this spring... can you switch from carnival to disney cruise lines? that might be a happy medium?!?

 

[Hooked On The Mouse]

I agree with what others have said, I don't think you should pull out of the trip now. You know yourself that your DM will be hurt, I just don't think it's worth it. It's not like the Carnival cruise will be some terrible ordeal, you might find that you enjoy it more than you expect.

 

[padawans]

Have you been on a cruise before? We just went on our first cruise through dcl and absolutely loved it. We immedialtely booked another one. I think I actually prefer the cruises over wdw now. If you haven't cruised before you might want to give a try. You might be pleasantly surprised.