Please help walk DS thru his first solo flight

[TinkOhio]

We are hoping for advice from the travel savvy folks who frequent this board. Our DS 19 will be flying solo for the first time this Saturday morning. Our concern lies in the fact that he has avery mild form of autism. I am posting this here instead of the disabilites board because his case is very, very mild and because we are hoping for specific tips that are really specific to airport travel. When DS becomes nervous, he kind of tenses up. He just looks very nervous. Luckily, he doesn't act out or say anything out of the ordinary. (Think of a nervous Bill Gates.) He's a very bright engineering student who relys on public transportation to get to and from the local university where he studies. He studies as a "typical" student and gets no special or extra help.

When I booked his flight, I did speak with a manager who noted his diagnosis on the reservation. I would just hate to see him being searched because he looks nervous and tense. My parents will be picking him up at the airport and my mom has suggested contacting the airlines so that she can meet him at the gate. (He is flying in to West Palm Beach.) I'm not sure that this is necessary, but it might make things easier for him. Any thoughts on this? I don't want him to stand out unnecessarily or feel embarrassed.

Also, beside taking the laptop out of the case before putting it on the scanning belt, are there any other things that I should tell him to help him make it through the security lines? Are there any other tips that you would like to share that I can tell him before Saturday to help him feel more comfortable with the whole process, like a handy place to keep his ID and ticket, etc? Also, will he be able to take a regular carry-on along with his laptop case?

Thanks for any help!

 

[Detailor]

We are hoping for advice from the travel savvy folks who frequent this board. Our DS 19 will be flying solo for the first time this Saturday morning. Our concern lies in the fact that he has avery mild form of autism. I am posting this here instead of the disabilites board because his case is very, very mild and because we are hoping for specific tips that are really specific to airport travel. When DS becomes nervous, he kind of tenses up. He just looks very nervous. Luckily, he doesn't act out or say anything out of the ordinary. (Think of a nervous Bill Gates.) He's a very bright engineering student who relys on public transportation to get to and from the local university where he studies. He studies as a "typical" student and gets no special or extra help.

When I booked his flight, I did speak with a manager who noted his diagnosis on the reservation. I would just hate to see him being searched because he looks nervous and tense. My parents will be picking him up at the airport and my mom has suggested contacting the airlines so that she can meet him at the gate. (He is flying in to West Palm Beach.) I'm not sure that this is necessary, but it might make things easier for him. Any thoughts on this? I don't want him to stand out unnecessarily or feel embarrassed.

Also, beside taking the laptop out of the case before putting it on the scanning belt, are there any other things that I should tell him to help him make it through the security lines? Are there any other tips that you would like to share that I can tell him before Saturday to help him feel more comfortable with the whole process, like a handy place to keep his ID and ticket, etc? Also, will he be able to take a regular carry-on along with his laptop case?

Thanks for any help!

I'd guess that he's going to be fine in the orderly chaos of an airport if he can navigate public transportation and a university.

I think you know best about whether his grandparents really need to meet him at the gate but I suspect he'll be okay getting from the gate to the non-secure areas of the airport where they can meet him. That should build confidence as well - pretty all he needs to know there is to follow the signs and the other people who are de-planing with him.

Before going through security at his originating airport, I think it's a good idea to make sure he has removed metal from his clothing and pockets. Put change in his laptop bag if there are extra pouches, remove his belt (sometimes a high concentration of metal in the buckle), any metal jewelry like a watch too just in case it might set off the metal alarm. Know what he can't take with him - bottle of water, pocket knife, any liquid or gel that's in a container designed for more than 3.4 ounces - check the www.tsa.gov list. He'll have to show his government ID and boarding pass to the first security guard before the Xray machine but after that he can put both away and shouldn't need the boarding pass again until he's boarding (I generally put my passport into one of the pouches in my laptop bag and my boarding pass into my shirt pocket for easy access). When he gets to his turn at conveyor before the Xray machine he'll have to put his shoes in a bin, any metal from his pockets that isn't already stowed, if he is wearing a jacket or coat that'll have to go in a bin, his laptop - also in a bin, he can take a carry-on other than his laptop case and that will go up on the conveyor belt (no bin) and the laptop case will also go up on the conveyor but not in a bin. I'd suggest untying his shoes as he waits in the security line as it makes the process go quicker and also to remove his jacket/coat before getting to the conveyor belt for the same reason. He'll wait his turn to go through the metal detector and the guard will direct him from there. He'll need to collect all of his belongings as quickly as possible and then move away from the security area to re-assemble everything, put his shoes on, etc. It can be hectic at security and other passengers and the security staff may "encourage" other passengers to move along quickly.

I wish him good luck in his travels!

Dick Taylor

 

[gritzel4]

We travel with our younger ASD son and go through the Handicapped line for security. Our son is not a fan of crowds and handles securtiy better with less people. DS and I pre board so he can get settled in and not have to be part of the crowd and upon arrival we wait to exit the plane for the same reasons. I wish you and your son luck on his first solo flight.

 

[NotUrsula]

I've got an Aspie son who is younger (he's 12), but I would trust him to go to Europe and back on his own so long as he had duplicate written instructions and a working cell phone on him. He is a VERY experienced flyer. (At 14 mos I had to frantically scramble to catch up with him after he went through Security on his own while I folded the stroller. He was headed in exactly the right direction to our usual gate, too.)

How often has your son flown with others? Are the airports in question new to him, or has he been to them before?

Most of the time the trick with Aspies is to try to avoid surprises and opportunities for confusion if possible. If either of the airports is new to him, try to find some photos of the signage, so that he will know exactly what he is looking for. (If you want to take the photos yourself, let someone in authority know what you want to do before you do it; it is now a security issue to take photos of some things in airports; not illegal exactly, but officers will be suspicious of what you are doing.) In any case where there is some kind of directional choice (such as the A/B exit thing at MCO), you should provide him with bulleted written instructions that tell what the signs say, and a phone number to call if he should get confused.

What I always have mine do is a pocket/metal check before he approaches security, including removing his shoes, belt, and outer jacket/sweater. Those can go in the carryon bag, with small items in a baggie. Mine is too young to need ID yet, but DH and I make it a rule to put our ID in the same secure pocket before we approach security: I use my left back pants pocket. He must carry his boarding pass through security in his hand; it's a good idea to wear a shirt with a good breast pocket to put it in the rest of the time. We always fully clear security before stopping to put our shoes back on -- I'd tell him to gather up his stuff first and worry about his shoes later; just to be sure to put them on before he goes to get on the plane.

He should carry his laptop in a simple cloth sleeve that is marked with his name. (That's just the wise thing to do -- helps prevent someone picking up the wrong one by accident.) I put mine in the outer pocket of my rollaboard as I go through the airport, and can easily pop it out to put it in a bin at security. The toiletries baggie goes right on top, too, also with my name on it. He CAN carry his laptop bag plus a small rollaboard or duffel, but if the plane is small he may be required to surrender the larger bag for a planeside check; I'd try to avoid a smaller plane if possible, because that adds a confusing layer of procedure that tends to differ between airports, and even between concourses in the same airport.

If he needs reminding, let him know that it is normal for TSA agents to yell a bit, and that he should make a very careful effort to keep calm and answer respectfully if he thinks that anyone is yelling at him in the security line. If this happens, he should know that they may call him "Sir" or "Young Man" -- that's normal, too, and he should still answer even if he does not hear his name, so long as the person in the uniform is looking at him. Also, he should try VERY hard to make brief eye contact -- I know that is usually a tall order, but it will help him avoid looking suspicious.

Oh, also, if he has a thing about his name, tell him to make sure that if anyone in a uniform asks for it, he should SLOWLY tell them his first and last name while looking at the person who asked. (DS has a name issue; when asked he will get pugnacious and very quickly rattle off the entire thing, middle name and all. Most people cannot understand it, and will ask for it to be repeated, which exasperates him and normally makes him snarky.)

Lastly, if he is nervous I would remind him that he gets around town on his own all the time, so he can handle a simple air trip. It's just a matter of following the rules.

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

If he needs reminding, let him know that it is normal for TSA agents to yell a bit

What? Not in my experience. I have never heard a TSA agent yell in many, many trips a year through security. I certainly wouldn't give this advice to an anxious traveler.

 

[TinkOhio]

Wow! Thanks for all of the quick, wonderful replies! DS has flown many times before, but always with our family. I have been able to calm him and review what to expect ahead of time. He is flying into West Palm, which is a new airport for him. I love the idea of checking the airport out online first.

We did have a situation one time where a TSA agent barked at him for moving too slowly for her liking, and DS started flicking his fingers nervously. She actually saw this and continued to yell at him as he became more flustered. I informed her that he had Aspergers, and her fellow agents actually told her to knock it off! That was several years ago. Our DS has come a long way since then, and I think that the TSA workforce is much better informed at this point. It just makes me nervous for him.

Thanks so much for the help!

 

[ancestry]

If he needs reminding, let him know that it is normal for TSA agents to yell a bit, and that he should make a very careful effort to keep calm and answer respectfully if he thinks that anyone is yelling at him in the security line. If this happens, he should know that they may call him "Sir" or "Young Man" -- that's normal, too, and he should still answer even if he does not hear his name, so long as the person in the uniform is looking at him.

I too have never heard they yell and I travel fairly frequently. They don't always smile nor do they all like to have an outside/unrelated conversation but I haven't heard them yell or snap.

 

[kaytieeldr]

More than his grandparents meeting him at the gate, can you at least accompany him to security - if not get a gate pass and go all the way to the gate with him?

 

[NotUrsula]

I too have never heard they yell and I travel fairly frequently. They don't always smile nor do they all like to have an outside/unrelated conversation but I haven't heard them yell or snap.

IME, Aspies tend to have a low threshhold for perceiving someone as yelling at them. (I actually considered putting that into the first response I did, but decided to skip the explanation, because I figured Mom would know what I meant.) The Aspies I know tend to interpret any firm, quick tone of voice as yelling.

I really almost never truly yell at DS, yet I hear "You don't have to yell at me!" at least 20 times a day, for something as simple as, "Careful, the cat's under your feet."

The average Aspie will interpret it as being yelled at if an agent calls out from six feet away something like, "Laptops in a bin, please!"

 

[swmmom]

I have a 20 year old with no health issues and we have a routine when she flys alone. For that matter we practice this same routine when I fly alone. We don't leave the security area until we see that she gets through. I am assuming that your son has a cell phone. My daughter will call us when she has boarded the plane & when she has arrived at her destination. You could also instruct your son to call you when he has arrived at his gate so that you know he found the gate without any problems. My daughter usually calls us when she is waiting at the gate anyway, for lack of anything else to do. And I'm sure that your son knows that if he has any problems, that you are just a phone call away.