Please Help. I need breast cancer info for a friend.

[Kitty 34]

A friend of mine's wife found out she has breast cancer. They just found out yesterday. She is only 37 and they have two small children.

Both are very devestated and looking for any type of info and even suppport groups.

I told him I would come here as I know many of you have a wealth of knowledge concerning breast cancer. So if you know of any good websites with information on this cancer or support groups please let me know.

Also, as the husband, my friend, has NO idea how he should act around his wife and what to say. He would appreciate any suggestions on this.

Thanks everyone!

 

[suzannen]

I'm so sorry for this news. Unfortunately, I've lost several friends to breast cancer; have had several that have fought it successfully; and have one that is fighting now. The source that has been the most helpful for my friend lately has been Gilda's Club which will provide information on support groups as well as the latest resource directory pertaining to each type of cancer. Their website is:
http://www.gildasclub.org/home/default.asp

Best of luck to her and her family.

 

[Dan Murphy]

's and prayers for your friend and his wife. Sorry to hear it. First thing, good news, she knows about it, it is diagnosed, a BIG plus in getting well. And so many are well, look at all here on the DIS, Marie here among them. So much is known today, so much can be done, so many successes.

A good oncologist, up to snuff on protocols and she is making progress.

A few good sites.....

http://www.nabco.org/

http://www.komen.org/intradoc-cgi/idc_cgi_isapi.dll?IdcService=SS_GET_PAGE&nodeId=298

http://www.y-me.org/

http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/

http://www.breastcancer.org/

As for your friend, supportive, open to his own emotions, go with the flow. If he or she would like to email me, let me know, I would be happy to talk with him.

My very best.

Dan

 

[Dan Murphy]

Also, an EXCELLENT book, Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book

 

[sue1013]

Sorry to hear about your friends wife. The one thing I cannot stress enough get a 2nd opinion from a large cancer center. Both my inlaws have had cancer in the last 4 years. MIL was just operated on a week ago. If we had not finally talked FIL into going to Sloan Kettering he would not be here today. The small hospitals will assure you they know what they are doing, the one by us did not and discouraged getting a second opinion. The larger cancer hospitals are up on the newest treatments. If it turns out your doctor is doing what they would they will tell you that. Hope all turns out well for your friends.

 

[Growin'upDisney]

Dan hit most of the good webistes that I know of.

Currently my aunt and a co-worker are going through the battle. A battle is a good way to think of it. Don't let them feel helpless, like there is nothing they can do. They can fight it with knowledge, treatment, positive attitude, etc. My co-worked had the greatest outlook and it is helping her cope. My aunt on the other hand is wallowing in self-pity and in turn it is making the chemo that much more debilitating on her. We all try to help keep her spirits up but it can be very draining. Tell your friend that no one can truly know what it feels like to go through this unless they have lived it. It's hard to say or know what your own reaction would be and therefore do not try to judge that person. But talk about what your feeling and what you are going through.

My mom, DH, and grandma always stay positive with my aunt and lean on one antoher for the support we need after listening to my aunt feel sorry for herself.

I am not trying to put down my aunt at all. I love her to death and believe that she is going to beat this. But people react differently when faced with the same situation. I hope and pray that she faces it like my co-worker but it just doesn't seem to be the case. So the rest of us will have the positive upbeat outlook for her.

Also, SUPPORT GROUPS ARE INVALUABLE. My aunt doesn't attend them but the rest of my family is thinking maybe we need one to help us help her.

Dan - I am going to by that book you recommended for my aunt.

 

[Kitty 34]

Thank you everyone for all the kind words and info!!

Dan, I just e-mailed all those links to my friend......with the help of my sons as you know I don't have much computer knowledge even as much as I'm on this thing!!!

I felt so bad for my friend because he was clueless on how to treat his wife and I was clueless on what to say to him! I really hate cancer.

 

[Robinrs]

My very best friend goes in tomorrow for a biopsy... she is scared to death because she's 76 and primary caregiver for her 98yo Mom.

I know how scary it is but I know so many positive stories about breast cancer. May God hold up your friend and her family through this trial...

Believe me, I hate cancer, too.

God bless,

Robinrs

 

[Kitty 34]

Thanks Robin.


{{{{{HUGS}}}} and prayers for your friend.

 

[Boots]

{{HUGS}} to you and prayers for your friends wife.

 

[zurgswife]

{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} for your friend and his wife...

 

[padisneyfan]

I am a breast cancer survivor and understand how your friend feels. Breast cancer is not just one form of cancer, there are all different types. She more than likely just got back her breast biopsy report. Until you meet with a surgeon who can explain your treatment options to you, browsing on the internet can give you some misinformation. The best advice I got from my surgeon was to avoid the internet and go and purchase Dr. Susan Love's book. It is a great reference book and helps you to better understand your treatment options all in one book.

There have been so many advances in the treatment of breast cancer and we as breast cancer survivors are leading healthy productive lives after our breast cancer treatments.

Please let your friend know that she will be in my thoughts and prayers and would be glad to answer any questions she might have or just to know she is not alone.

Nancy

 

[Pop Daddy]

Kitty I cant help your freind but I will pray for her

 

[browneyes]

Good luck to your friend, E.

The only suggestions I can think of is for them both to think positively about this. For your friend's dh, tell him to hold her when she needs to be held, help her laugh when she needs to laugh, and let her be there for him through this too.

I hate cancer too. My grandmother had breast cancer and whenever I have my yearly checkup, I look for any signs of concern on my dr's face. Last year, he made me go for my first mammogram and I was scared to death.

I'll pray for your friends, E.

 

[Kitty 34]

Originally posted by browneyes


The only suggestions I can think of is for them both to think positively about this. For your friend's dh, tell him to hold her when she needs to be held, help her laugh when she needs to laugh, and let her be there for him through this too.

That's a good suggestion. Thanks Shannon.


This weekend I will go buy that book Dan and Nancy have mentioned to give to my friend.

Nancy.......they meet today with the surgeon to find out what stage she's in and what they will do about it. They do know that it has spread to a lymph node under her arm.

 

[Dan Murphy]

An Kitty, a lymph node involvement is not an end-all. Marie had quite a high number, both in nodes and in staging, but this Spring here is 6 years from '98 when she was diagnosed and started with treatments. God bless.

 

[Serena]

Both your friends have my prayers.

 

[Kitty 34]

Originally posted by Dan Murphy
An Kitty, a lymph node involvement is not an end-all. Marie had quite a high number, both in nodes and in staging, but this Spring here is 6 years from '98 when she was diagnosed and started with treatments. God bless.

That's a relief, Dan. I will tell him. Unfortunetly I don't know his wife as he's a friend from work.

 

[Feralpeg]

Breast cancer isn't necessarily a death sentence. It's been 21 years since I was diagnosed. Tell your friend that it's okay to want second and third opinions. A positive outlook can make all the difference. Good luck to her. I'll be thinking of her.