Please give me hope...

[TeresaNJ]

.

 

[MsLeFever]

Prayers are being said for you Teresa. That he wises up - or that you find peace....or both.

 

[Megan_J]

I went through a divorce and I'm the one that left. Sometimes people will give you signs that they are unhappy in a marriage but they will go right over your head. Other times people won't say a word about what's really going on. Either way, if somebody is unhappy and they leave it's not entirely your fault. It takes two people to make a marriage and two people to break it. Life will go on for you.

 

[sunnyday123]

Be strong. You will be happy again and we're here if you need us.

 

[RadioNate]

That this pain will end, and I will feel whole again. After 13 years together, & 11 married, to someone I thought was the most wonderful man in the world, my best friend, my soulmate, only to find out he doesn't love me at all, and wants out, now. It's been three weeks since I found out, and while I've held on to hope, I have come to the realization that it really is happening, this isn't a nightmare that I'm going to wake up from, and that my whole life is about to change. He went from telling me I'm the best wife and mother, someone he thanks God for every day, to the person at the root of all his dissatisfaction with life. Please say a prayer for me.

I'm sorry. I'm going through a similar thing and it sucks. You are not going to like my assessment, but I'd be looking for another woman. I was great too, until she came along. Then I was evil. I held out wondering what I'd done for 9 months until I discovered the truth. It wasn't me! I know it hurts but you'll be ok with or without him.

 

[Mrs. Sojourner]

Praying for you!

 

[LuvOrlando]

Awww, I am so sorry this is happening to you.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

 

[mjkacmom]

I am going to be very honest here - it has been my experience, over and over (not my personal experience, but with friend online and IRL), that there is a 99.9% chance there is another woman involved. I've never known a man to leave his wife unless there was someone else, and he usually blames the wife, claiming to have never loved her, or blaming her in some way.

I'm telling you this, because until the other woman is confirmed, most women hope that he will change his mind, not knowing about the other person in the situtation. You don't deserve this.

 

[TeresaNJ]

.

 

[mtemm]

(((HUGS))) and prayers. I am so sorry for what you are going thru, the pain is awful I know. 4 years ago dh and I had our own personal crisis and we separated. I was devastated and it took personal counseling, some very helpful books, and a lot of time to feel whole again. feel free to pm me if you would like some suggestions on books or websites or need to talk/have any questions.

dh and I did end up reconciling, but it took a good year and by the time we did I was definitely in a better place.

you will get to a better place. its a grieving process, and is not easy, but you will get there.

be good to yourself.

eta, one thing I have to add is that my dh, as yours did, went from loving/caring for me to telling me I was the root of all unhappiness and such. Hell, I think in his mind I was the root cause of war and hunger and all horrible things the world was going thru at the time! oh, and the recession? yeah, that was me, too. one thing I learned to finally accept was that just because he (or anyone) says something, it DOESN'T MAKE IT TRUE!!!!! remember that. sounds obvious, but honestly it took a lot to hammer that into my head.

 

[Disney Doll]

I am so sorry for you. I will keep you in my prayers. I know you did not ask for advice, per se, but I am going to give you some:

1. Check your financial situation and make copies of every financial document you have and date them so you will know what you had a "X" date. And keep a close eye on the financial stuff from here on in. Don't forget about your tax returns....make copies of as many as you can...all of them if available. This is particularly important.

2. Go to a doctor and get your health checked for STDs. This is also important.

3. Be good to yourself.

4. If you have children, start a savings account for each of them and put money into it on a weekly basis.

5. If there are items in your home that have great sentimental value to you, remove them and store them elsewhere if at all possible.

6. Remove any good jewelry you have from your home or anything else that was yours that has any value.

7. Get a good lawyer.

8. Get a good therapist.

9. Hold your head up. You have done nothing to deserve this.

 

[4nana]

I'm sorry, how heartbreaking and I can't only imagine the many emotions you must be going through . Know your Dis friends can offer good support and advise here. Sending lots of hugs and prayers from Md that your heart will mend and you'll find the faith, hope, peace, courage and feel whole once again.

 

[Katy Belle]

Saying a prayer for you.

 

[lustergirl]

I am going to be very honest here - it has been my experience, over and over (not my personal experience, but with friend online and IRL), that there is a 99.9% chance there is another woman involved. I've never known a man to leave his wife unless there was someone else, and he usually blames the wife, claiming to have never loved her, or blaming her in some way.

I'm telling you this, because until the other woman is confirmed, most women hope that he will change his mind, not knowing about the other person in the situtation. You don't deserve this.

so true- I think the husband puts their guilt off on the wife by blaming them for their stupidity.

 

[disney1990]

I am so sorry -- but you will survive and be stronger in the end.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

If he is unhappy with his life then it is his problem, not yours. What I mean by that is that you are not responsible for his happiness or his unhappy state. Do not carry this weight on your shoulders. It is not yours to carry.

If this relationship does end in divorce then all I can say to you is that somewhere down that road these feelings you are having right now will give way to a new life filled with happiness. The stages of grief also apply to relationships.

There are a lot of people on here that have been through it, including myself and I am in a way better place in life than I would have been had we stayed together. At the time there was no way to know that however and it was a difficult time to go through.

*hugs* we are all here for you

 

[krcit]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

 

[TeresaNJ]

.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'm so sorry. I think that's probably a blow that will take a while to heal. You sound like a very strong woman and I think you'll be just fine.

You're in my prayers.