Please explain "once removed/second cousin"

[mskay]

Every time we get together with DH's family, a whole discussion ensues about first cousin, once removed/second cousin. I don't mean to sound ugly, but it goes on and on and no one knows what they are talking about. Please clear it up for me and give me examples. They are coming tonight and I don't want it to be an hour-long conversation getting nowhere. By the way, I specifically want to know what my DD would be to DH's cousin and his parents (if removed/seond applies to aunts/uncles or only cousins). TIA

 

[Lisa L from MI]

No help here but sounds just like when we get together with DH's family and you're right....the conversation goes on and on...and nobody really knows what they are talking about and it happens EVERY time they get together!!!

 

[Dan Murphy]

Maybe........

http://www.genealogy.com/16_cousn.html

 

[janette]

This seems like a pretty good site that explains it. http://www.genealogy.com/16_cousn.html

We have several complicated relationships in the family. I just tell my girls they are all cousins and leave it at that.

Looks like Dan beat me on that google search.

 

[phamton]

Once removed means one generation difference. Your first cousins are your aunt and uncle's children. They are in your same "generation"---approximate same age. Your cousin's children are your first cousins once removed but they are your children's second cousins.

I hope this makes sense.

 

[bajanswife]

OK, here you go: Straight, ordinary cousins work like this: children of siblings are first cousins to each other. Children of first cousins are second cousins to each other. Children of second cousins are third cousins to each other. "Once removed" means that the cousin is one generation away, and "twice removed" means 2 generations away. i.e. once removed refers to the relationship between a person and his/her cousin's parents or children. e.g. say your DH has a first cousin called A. A has a child called B. Your DD is a second cousin to B because they are children of first cousins, same generation. However, A is your DD's first cousin once removed - meaning not quite first cousin (your DH is the first cousin), but not as far as second cousin either (B is DD's second cousin). With me so far? A second cousin once removed would be the relationship between your DD and DH's SECOND cousin. DH's second cousin's child would be DD's third cousin (remember children of second cousins are third cousins). Twice removed is the relationship between someone and their straight cousin's grandparent or grandchild - so a first cousin twice removed to your DD would be DH's first cousin's parent.

This is MY understanding of how it all works. Hope I'm right!

 

[mskay]

Thanks. I just need to keep saying this over and over so I can tell it to them with confidence! Thanks a bunch! You guys are the best.Now, more time to discuss religion and politics

 

[janette]

Once removed means one generation difference. Your first cousins are your aunt and uncle's children. They are in your same "generation"---approximate same age. Your cousin's children are your first cousins once removed but they are your children's second cousins.

I hope this makes sense.

They are one generation but sometimes not the same ages. My girls have several first cousins once removed that their age. In a large family it starts getting confusing because like in our case I have nieces & nephews with children older than mine.

 

[Beth76]

I have always wondered this too. Thanks to all who cleared it up. It makes sense when someone actually explains it.

 

[phamton]

They are one generation but sometimes not the same ages.

That's why I said "approximate." I have an aunt that is my age. Her children (my 1st cousins) are my kids ages not my age.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I've tried to explain this a million times to my kids. What confuses them most is that there are big age differences among the generations. ie, I'm in my 40's, but i have cousins in their 70's. My niece and I were pregnant at the same time. My kids are closer in age to my nieces' kids.

 

[pearlieq]

OK, here you go: Straight, ordinary cousins work like this: children of siblings are first cousins to each other. Children of first cousins are second cousins to each other. Children of second cousins are third cousins to each other. "Once removed" means that the cousin is one generation away, and "twice removed" means 2 generations away. i.e. once removed refers to the relationship between a person and his/her cousin's parents or children. e.g. say your DH has a first cousin called A. A has a child called B. Your DD is a second cousin to B because they are children of first cousins, same generation. However, A is your DD's first cousin once removed - meaning not quite first cousin (your DH is the first cousin), but not as far as second cousin either (B is DD's second cousin). With me so far? A second cousin once removed would be the relationship between your DD and DH's SECOND cousin. DH's second cousin's child would be DD's third cousin (remember children of second cousins are third cousins). Twice removed is the relationship between someone and their straight cousin's grandparent or grandchild - so a first cousin twice removed to your DD would be DH's first cousin's parent.

This is MY understanding of how it all works. Hope I'm right!

I think I need to lie down for a while...

 

[janette]

The website posted has a little chart to figure it out. I'd never known the relationship between on of the cousins on my DH's side that is my older DD's age. According to the chart they are Second cousin, once removed. Her mother & my MIL are first cousins. So my DD's GG grandmother & the cousins G grandmother would be their common ancestor.

 

[ladycollector]

My understanding is:

Your cousin's kids are your second cousins.

Not sure about once removed, maybe that means divorced on other side of family?

 

[phamton]

My understanding is:

Your cousin's kids are your second cousins.

Not sure about once removed, maybe that means divorced on other side of family?

That is what I was taught but it isn't technically correct. Your cousins' kids are technically your 1st cousins once removed.

 

[Sleepy]

That is what I was taught but it isn't technically correct. Your cousins' kids are technically your 1st cousins once removed.

So a simple way to explain it would be......

Some people say first cousin, second cousin, third cousin.......

And some people say....first cousin, first cousin once removed (second cousin), first cousin twice removed (third cousin), first cousin third removed (fourth cousin)...etc

Am I correct to think this way?

 

[Disney1fan2002]

So, my cousin L has two sones, B and J.

I am a "1st cousin once removed" from B and J and my kids are 2nd cousins to B and J?


AHHH I get it now!

Just curious, and not for any personal reasons, but how far out do cousins have to be before it is no longer considered incest of two get togther?

I mean, if my 5yo DS grows up and takes a liking to my "1st cousin once removed" B's little 2 yo. My Ds would be B's dd's "2nd cousin once removed", correct? Is that incest territory?

For the record, I think any family relations is gross, no matter how far removed. ICK.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

So a simple way to explain it would be......

Some people say first cousin, second cousin, third cousin.......

And some people say....first cousin, first cousin once removed (second cousin), first cousin twice removed (third cousin), first cousin third removed (fourth cousin)...etc

Am I correct to think this way?

No, according to how it was explained.

For example, my cousin had her kids when I was young. I grew up calling them my "2nd cousins". That is not correct. MY kids are their 2nd cousins. I am their 1st cousin, once removed.

A little OT, but seeing the word in print, and saying the word cousin over and over, it is one of those "strange" words. LOL

 

[bajanswife]

So, my cousin L has two sones, B and J.

Just curious, and not for any personal reasons, but how far out do cousins have to be before it is no longer considered incest of two get togther?

I mean, if my 5yo DS grows up and takes a liking to my "1st cousin once removed" B's little 2 yo. My Ds would be B's dd's "2nd cousin once removed", correct? Is that incest territory?

For the record, I think any family relations is gross, no matter how far removed. ICK.

First and second (and the removeds) are icky to me, but from about third cousin I consider them to be more distant family. Not all of us even know who all our third cousins are, so I think that could be OK. Others feel that second cousins are OK. Depends. It also depends a bit on whether you relate to your second or third cousins as "family" i.e. are they at the weddings, funerals, family gatherings, in the photo albums, part of the family folklore? The feeling of "family" is often in our minds, and a third cousin you've never met before and never eard anything about might not seem icky to start a relationship with if you didn't meet them within the context of family. Having said that, though, I'd never consider a relationship with a first cousin under any circumstances, because it's just too close - there's that added genetic risk if you had kids together, not to mention that you would share too many of the same family members! Ewwwww!

 

[disneysteve]

This is kind of a tangent, but DW and I had a lot of trouble when planning our wedding. Due to generational differences, my family tree is very broad whereas hers is narrower but taller if that makes sense. Her parents wanted to cut off invitations at first cousins, but that was not many people on her side but lots of people on my side. Also, I had the problem that some of you have mentioned. Some of my first cousins are 20 years older than me so their children, who are technically my 1st cousins once removed, are my generation and the ones I'm close with. I wanted them at my wedding even though they were technically more distant relatives geneologically speaking.