Please, don't say anything before you say things like that. Blech- vent inside.

[LindsayDunn228]

Oops sorry. I think there is a young person here on the DIS in K-ville though. I do know where McMinnville is

 

[Sparx]

yeah, there are a few I think. We tend to get lost on the map. lol.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I really have no idea what this is supposed to mean. But please, I really don't want an explanation.

I think it's safe to say that you and I differ in the insensitive way that blue jeans responded to the OP. I think it was uncalled for and uttered (ok, written) with the intent to belittle.

Let's just agree to disagree and not threaten to evacuate our bladders....

I don't know that we disagree about the way she responded to the OP. Like I said, I'm not even going to get into that. What I was trying to explain is that she probably didn't word things right, but that I don't think that what she was saying is who she is and I've read other things by her and I didn't get that impression at all. In general I'm a pretty good job of character. I thought that she was being attacked and I'm defending her even though I don't totally disagree with you that she didn't handle this as well as she could have. I really do not think that she meant any offense. Oops, now I'm getting into it.

BTW, I loved your last comment. I'll give you the urban dictionary's definition of the expression: a dispute that's a matter of one side's claims or bluster against the other's; a word feud; bickering

 

[cardaway]

Oh and another thing. There is no need to walk on eggshells in your conversations with me...

So, the moral of my vent, please think before you speak.

Add me to the list of people who question this thread. Another case of please agree with me, but in this case, agree with what?

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Cardaway,

My eggshells comment was referring to the "go for a walk" and "run over there" situations. There's no need to be so panicky about saying those things. It's totally different from the silly "hey speedy" comments.

I didn't ask anyone to agree with me on this. I was just venting.

I've asked the mods to close this thread. It's kind of veered off topic about the meanings behind people's post and whatnot. I got it off my chest and that's all I needed.

Thanks for the PMs

 

[cardaway]

My eggshells comment was referring to the "go for a walk" and "run over there" situations. There's no need to be so panicky about saying those things. It's totally different from the silly "hey speedy" comments.

I didn't ask anyone to agree with me on this. I was just venting.

If you say so. Looks like people trying to do what you wanted, but you didn't like their sense of humor.

Looks out of your choice of options, the best is just to leave you alone. Looks like the only way to win is not to play.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Oh brother. You seriously don't know me.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I do understand your point, Lindsay. I know that we all get stupid comments about all kinds of things. It's annoying for sure and you are welcome to vent. I do think that you sounded a bit hostile, but when people vent they tend to. Any time a person hears a comment more than a few times it gets old. I have a son with Tourette Syndrome and I know that people look at him differently when his tics are active (all the time). I'd rather have someone just ask him why he does what he does than to make comments, give the "looks", etc. I don't notice the comments so much, but he hears them in high school. He's gotten good at explaining, but as a mom it's very difficult to hear about and witness. So I do try to be extra careful about how I view other people with various challenges. I know my son is a person first, whatever differences he has.

 

[SueM in MN]

On the DisABILITIES board, a CM made the comment that he/she (don't remember) would say to people in ECV's, upon entering a park, "don't speed in there!!" Really, why oh why, would someone feel the need to say that to someone??

I wanted to check in what context the CM posted this comment, so I did search for it on the disABILITIES Board.
The CM posting it has been on the disABILITIES Board since close to the beginning of the board. He uses an ECV/scooter for mobility, as did his wife (who is now deceased). So, the comment was coming from someone using an ECV to someone else using a mobility aid. I believe he assumed that people reading the thread knew that. Most of the people commenting (who I think knew he uses a scooter), thought the comment was funny. But, coming from someone who was using a scooter, as opposed to someone who was not, makes a difference in the content of the message.
The other situation (the people in the grocery store) were being dumb, but that happens with lots of situations, not just people with disabilities. My nephew has blazing orange hair and since the time he was a baby, he has heard things like "Do you have a temper to go with that red hair?....Do you glow in the dark?....Touching red hair is good luck, can I touch it?" It used to really bother him -especially the people who rubbed his head without warning. When he was about 5, he told his mom that as soon as he was old enough, he wanted to dye his hair black. He has since come up with some other ideas -like if asked if he has a temper to go with the red hair, he tells people if they keep making comments like that, they will find out. He's also told people if they want to rub his head, there is a charge.

It brings up the whole question of language. I have spent a lot of time trying to bend over backwards to use words that are inclusive and not demeaning or insulting to anyone, but it is hard. It was embarrasing when I was a Public Health Nurse to tell people about some of the places I could refer them to for financial and other assistance (the main agency was the "Bureau for Crippled Children"). Most of those really heavily charged words/terms are not used anymore, but it is hard to come up with things where people know what you mean and no one is offended.
Some of the terms are difficult to interpret (like, what is an "Exeptional Parent" - I don't know, but there is a magazine by that name for parents of children with "Special Needs.") and some people are offended by them (some don't like special needs or exceptional, some do).
I used to write about the "Accessible" parking or "Accessible" rooms at WDW, but then people would write back to ask if they could use their "Handicapped Parking Permit" there.
And what is a perfectly acceptable term for one group/person is sometimes considered demeaning by someone else. I have seen people with disabilities wearing T shirts with messages that say things like:
"Not DISabled, differently abled"
"I'm handicapable" (The person who was my co-Moderator on the disABILITIES Board when it first started had that as a tagline.)
But, other people might not like those terms.

I didn't like the name of the disABILITIES Board at first, but it was chosen by people with disabilities (not people like me who are the parent of a person with a disability) and they thought it was a clever play on words (We enABLE people with disabilities to have information that sometimes makes a trip to WDW possible when they thought it was impossible. ABILITIES is the stressed word).

I once made the mistake of posting something that my DD signed to me (she is not able to speak). She called herself a "Wheelchair girl" and was signing to me that she saw another "Wheelchair girl" while we were out somewhere - at that time it was kind of a novelty for her to see other people using wheelchairs because there were none in her school. Anyway, I posted that story and got flamed on the thread, and got PMs saying that I was more or less abusing my child because I was giving her the identity of a piece of equipment rather than a capable person with a disability and that I should not refer to her as a "wheelchair girl" and should teach her not to refer to herself that way, instead using more enabling words.
But, she uses sign language which she modifies to fit her abilites to make the signs. She was the person who put the signs "wheelchair" and "girl" together to refer to herself - which I thought was pretty clever, considering that she doesn't have a large selection of signs to use and these did fit. I was careful not to post anything like that again (until now). It's not fun to get nasty PMs for something you thought was a cute comment when you posted it.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I once made the mistake of posting something that my DD signed to me (she is not able to speak). She called herself a "Wheelchair girl" and was signing to me that she saw another "Wheelchair girl" while we were out somewhere - at that time it was kind of a novelty for her to see other people using wheelchairs because there were none in her school. Anyway, I posted that story and got flamed on the thread, and got PMs saying that I was more or less abusing my child because I was giving her the identity of a piece of equipment rather than a capable person with a disability and that I should not refer to her as a "wheelchair girl" and should teach her not to refer to herself that way, instead using more enabling words.
But, she uses sign language which she modifies to fit her abilites to make the signs. She was the person who put the signs "wheelchair" and "girl" together to refer to herself - which I thought was pretty clever, considering that she doesn't have a large selection of signs to use and these did fit. I was careful not to post anything like that again (until now). It's not fun to get nasty PMs for something you thought was a cute comment when you posted it.

Cute story! Well, not the part about the nasty PMs, but what your DD said. Kids say what they are thinking and are not the least bit PC. That comes with time, or at least it should. But your DD was signing what made sense to her.

 

[chell]

Tee hee, yes it is tempting sometimes. But I am adult and need to act like one

From your posts I figure you do act like an adult. But at times it is fun to think about being a kid again. It may sound like it but I'm not that mean. there are just times I want to pay people back but I am WAY too chicken to ever do such a thing.