Please, don't say anything before you say things like that. Blech- vent inside.

[LindsayDunn228]

But, I don't think people should be put in a bad light because they use these type of comments to open a conversation with you. They really mean no harm and it would appear to be the most positive opener to communication they can come up with to interact with you.

Did you not see this part of my post:

I know people mean absolutely no harm in these comments, really I do. But they get old very very quick.

I would never walk up to a perfect stranger who is wearing glasses and say, "Make sure you watch where you're going!!!" Would you??

The most positive opener to communication they can come up with to interact with me? Whatever happened to the, "Hey, how are you doing?" opener. It works on people with disabilities, too.

 

[BillSears]

Linsay,

Yep I get the same things said to me and I cringe inside every time. Some people really are idiots. I get the slow down speedy remarks all the time at work. Whenever someone says that I should get a motorized chair I usually just tell them that if I did that I'd probably be taking 10 years off of my lifespan since pushing the chair is my main form of exercise.

Anyway, go on and rant Hon. We understand.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Bill, I hear you!!!!! If I gave up my manual chair, yikes!!! And this is speaking for myself only, it would be a complete act of laziness if I got a power chair.

Oh and a FYI (not directed at anyone), it's not an electric chair. Those are used for executions

 

[AnaheimGirl]

Thanks for posting this. I think that reading threads like this can educate people on what they should or shouldn't say.

I used to be one of those people who got really nervous around people who were "different" from me, afraid I'd say the wrong thing, so I'd say nothing at all. Reading posts like yours (and getting to know a more diverse group of people) helped me learn what not to say and to stop stressing about it.

This reminds me of a time at the zoo, in a crowd watching the seals, all the adults were letting little kids move to the front so they could see, but there was one young woman in a wheelchair whom everyone ignored. I was about to approach her, when someone else beat me to it, and I could see how happy she was that someone finally acknowledged her and allowed her to move in front. Anyway, the interesting thing is that others who had been ignoring the young woman were watching this gentleman as he offered to let her move in front of him, and then they all made room for her as well.

I like to think that his good example would rub off on some of the others, and that someday they might do the same. Same with your post. If you can open the eyes of a few people here, maybe they can also open the eyes of a few more, and so on. I know, I'm getting overly dramatic here, but what I'm trying to say is vent away!! For your own sanity, and also because it may help spare someone else from such comments one day.

 

[Cindyluwho]

Lindsay,
Now you've got me thinking.
Is it OK with you if someone offers to grab something for you that's high up on the shelf in the grocery store? If that's the case I've got to knock that off. I do that for older folks too. ooops

 

[Mari annie]

Ignorance is bliss-
human nature to just blurt out something when people are ignorant or don't know what to say, that's my outlaws, has alot do with education, too.
They get nervous around anyone that's not like them* as they say- (that would be the WORLD)!!Hard to ignore people, but try. They are ignorant!
We took them to a Greek resteraunt and my monster in law said to the server
(who also owned the resteraunt)"Hey, I don't eat any weird stuff, and none of that goat cheese"- Both dh and I said "bring on the goat cheese and lots of it"! The other 1/2 of the monster in law said, "there's alot of weird food here, got anything good/normal"?? She said, for "you, I ll bring you a hot dog"!
When we left the resteraunt, I made everyone leave I paid the bill and told the owners I was sorry, and she laughed and said "honey there's alot of weirdo's out there" I said don't I know it!!!!!!

Life's too short to listen to any ignorant blurt out something, figure it this way, they don't know you or your life so smile at them and say "hey you know something, I have never met anyone like you, either, and boy you sure are different".-------

 

[mtblujeans]

Did you not see this part of my post:

I would never walk up to a perfect stranger who is wearing glasses and say, "Make sure you watch where you're going!!!" Would you??

The most positive opener to communication they can come up with to interact with me? Whatever happened to the, "Hey, how are you doing?" opener. It works on people with disabilities, too.

Yikes! You are pretty angry.....I wonder if people are sorry they approach you at all!

No one can defend that people can be ignorant.....most people are lucky enough to not have such challenges throughout their lifetime. But, your attitude can have alot to do with your "surviving" ignorant interactions, IMHO.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Lindsay,
Now you've got me thinking.
Is it OK with you if someone offers to grab something for you that's high up on the shelf in the grocery store? If that's the case I've got to knock that off. I do that for older folks too. ooops

I hope that's ok because I do that for people who are shorter than me and I've had people who are taller than me help me out.

 

[waltfan1957]

Yikes! You are pretty angry.....I wonder if people are sorry they approach you at all!

No one can defend that people can be ignorant.....most people are lucky enough to not have such challenges throughout their lifetime. But, your attitude can have alot to do with your "surviving" ignorant interactions, IMHO.

thats totally unfair she is only trying to get her point across

 

[lilostitch]

Yikes! You are pretty angry.....I wonder if people are sorry they approach you at all!

No one can defend that people can be ignorant.....most people are lucky enough to not have such challenges throughout their lifetime. But, your attitude can have alot to do with your "surviving" ignorant interactions, IMHO.

She doesn't sound angry to me, and feelings are my business

 

[chell]

Sorry people have to act that way and make you feel bad.

I do not intentionally cut people off, run over people's toes, tailgate you close and hit the back of your ankles, etc.

Are you ever tempted to do those things? I'm not trying to be rude by asking that but I know I sure would be tempted, especially if they were very nasty to me.

 

[Sparx]

Lindsay,
Now you've got me thinking.
Is it OK with you if someone offers to grab something for you that's high up on the shelf in the grocery store? If that's the case I've got to knock that off. I do that for older folks too. ooops

I was wondering this too. I've had a few people get stuff down for me. (I'm not short, but it was up pretty high and he was taller than me. lol)

 

[mtblujeans]

She doesn't sound angry to me, and feelings are my business

It's funny you should say that because vocational rehabilitation is my business and I, myself, have a disability but it is not as apparent as some. Perhaps "aggressive" should have been the word that would better describe that posting.

I have given this some thought and I think everyone who reads this thread should contact their local high school(s) and ask that they integrate "sensitivity training" into their health curriculum so that the general population becomes more in-tune with a certain section of society.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm so sorry you have had to deal with that.

My mom uses an ECV at Disney and has never been spoken to rudely by a CM.

 

[TCPluto]

It's funny you should say that because vocational rehabilitation is my business...

Maybe a little empathy training is in order in the vocational rehab business...

The attitudes of some towards those with disabilities is truly disgusting. The OP was expressing her feelings and shouldn't be chastised or belittled for doing so, as you did.

 

[TCPluto]

Yikes! You are pretty angry.....I wonder if people are sorry they approach you at all!

....But, your attitude can have alot to do with your "surviving" ignorant interactions, IMHO.

Make that alot of empathy training is needed.

Maybe when able bodied guests are warned to watch out and be careful of park guests in wheel chairs and other ambulation devises, then the comments would not appear to be so offensive.

People in general need to be cognizant that the message they intended to send may not be the message received. However, the quote above was quite insensitive and I'm sure bluejean intended it that way.

 

[Marseeya]

Yikes! You are pretty angry.....I wonder if people are sorry they approach you at all!

No one can defend that people can be ignorant.....most people are lucky enough to not have such challenges throughout their lifetime. But, your attitude can have alot to do with your "surviving" ignorant interactions, IMHO.

Where are you getting anger from? Straight foward, and to the point maybe, but angry?

I think you're misreading her.

 

[anewvance]

That's a really lousy thing to have to deal with. I've taught my children that all people are different and some people use wheelchairs to get around. They have never made any comments whatsoever when around people in wheelchairs and if they ever have a question they are always very polite about it! You sound like you do just great in your chair, i'm glad you have the mobility!!!

 

[DisneyDotty]

Let's face it--we fear that which we do not understand/have experience with. Our family has been blessed with a beautiful, smart niece who uses a wheelchair since she was 2. We have traveled the world with her (and her family, of course) and are constantly amazed by people's lack of understanding and compassion and blatant rudeness towards people with visible handicaps. I think a lot of that comes from ignorance. Prior to my niece's accident, I'm sure I was also an idiot. I hope I am not any longer.
OP--thanks for the post. Keep reminding us that we need to be more aware of what we say and do.

 

[Marseeya]

Oh Lindsay, when I was in Walmart today, there was this woman in a manual wheelchair just flying down the aisle. She must've been in a hurry to get home for the Superbowl or something, but I was laughing, thinking about your post.