Playdate.....wwyd?

[npmommie]

so my friend asked if the kids could have a playdate and we decided on tomorrow for a day.
so she calls me this morning to see what we want to do. So I suggest going somewhere or else playing at her house or mine. I told her I preferred not to host since my house is still in disarray from christmas.....i know i know!....... and plus its my hubbys "Friday" from his work week, and he likes to come home and relax after work, not come home to a house with a playdate going on. plus she stays too when the kids come over.
( he doesn't have a sit down office type job so he is TIRED when he gets home, not saying office workers aren't tired too though!)

so she gave an attitude, like she didn't want to host either, it was her tone, and a comment something like her kids like to go other places too.


so now I don't want to go over there, I would do the playdate here just not tomorrow.

Should I say something like I will have the playdate here, just not tomorrow, we can do it a different day, or should I suggest we do something else with the kids like go to the movies or something?
Its too cold here to be outside long, its like 1 degree with the wind chill.

 

[Erin1700]

How old are the kids?

I would find something fun to do, like a movie and call her with the time it starts. Tell her just what you said, that you can not host today and how about you meet at this movie? I guess pick one or 2 and let her share her preference of which one her child would prefer.

 

[budbeerlady]

I would just call her and tell her your Dh will be working at home that day, where would she like to meet. That way the ball is back in her court and not necessarily at her home.

 

[daleswife]

Do you have a Chick Fil A in your area??? Thats where we took the kids for play dates when I lived in NC. Especially in the winter or rainy days. The kids could eat their lunch then play in the play area until the adults are ready to go. We stayed for at least 3 hours each time we went. It was fun. I miss it.

 

[PoohHappens]

If this is a friend and one that you would like to continue to be friends with, I would call back and say you felt a little frustration with the last call. Say that you totally understand her not wanting to host too, esp since you are not feeling prepared to do it either. Lets either do..........(something where you meet up at an outside place) or would you prefer to come over here on.......(you pick the day). I think it is best to just approach it straight forward. If she is truly your friend and is somewhat socially functional you should both be able to work this out and move on. If not, then it may not be worth the trouble as these things might still keep occuring. It was fine for you to express that you were not up to hosting, and she should feel comfortable enough to do the same. Agreeing to host and then continue to make manipulative comments seems a little immature. Lets all just be honest and communitcate people. Good job on your part for being honest about your situation and taking care of your husband and attending to his feelings and desires too. I have the opportunity for a child to play over this afternoon, but my DH can come home early for some great family time, we are going to have to pass on the play date and the other family will understand when I tell her why. She would expect to be able to say the same to me.

 

[sau418]

I am with PPs suggest "neutral" territory, Chik-fil-a, McDonalds, mall play areas. I know for me many times a playdate is as much for me to get out of the house as it is for the kids to play.

We have multiple community centers around us that are great for everyone, they have play rooms with lots of toys and this allows everyone to get out of their homes and the only real requirement is that we clean up after ourselves before we leave.

 

[disykat]

So basically she called you to invite her kids over to your house? She called, the meeting shouldn't be at your house unless you specifically suggest it. If she initiated the playday, SHE should be suggesting a place to meet or inviting you to her house.

Hopefully she was just having a crabby moment, because she is being unreasonable.

 

[Mom2Nick]

Just a question - how often do your children have play dates are do they go to both homes an equal amount? Her comment suggest that maybe they are at her house often and she was hoping for them to be with you?

Either way - it's still rude to suggest a playdate and expect the other party to be the host. I would just tell her that toorrow is not good since yoru DH is home and then suggest a different day for you to host.

 

[jodgaff]

I agree with the PP's suggestion about a neutral place. We have a fun mall play area, or does your town have an indoor playground? We have 5 (Jungle Java, the Tree House....) or even Mickey D's (I couldn't help myself with the Mickey reference )

 

[npmommie]

So basically she called you to invite her kids over to your house? She called, the meeting shouldn't be at your house unless you specifically suggest it. If she initiated the playday, SHE should be suggesting a place to meet or inviting you to her house.

Hopefully she was just having a crabby moment, because she is being unreasonable.

yes she initiated the playdate, she had invited us over 2 saturdays ago, but there was a snowstorm and we didn't go. so this was rescheduled from that.

Just a question - how often do your children have play dates are do they go to both homes an equal amount? Her comment suggest that maybe they are at her house often and she was hoping for them to be with you?

Either way - it's still rude to suggest a playdate and expect the other party to be the host. I would just tell her that toorrow is not good since yoru DH is home and then suggest a different day for you to host.

our kids have playdates at each others houses probably every couple of weeks. we see them frequently because we do things outside the home with them such as an art class.
we do have the playdates at her house more than mine, and it is really her 8 yo and my 8 yo that are BFF........my younger plays fine with them, her older one ( he is 11 yo, i think almost 12 ) is always getting bored with what they are doing and he goes off on his own. and gets mad at the others.
or he gets his knickers in a twist because the others are being " babyish" or not doing what he wants.
there is always some kind of drama with the 11 yo. I so wish she would just bring her 8 yo over here, but she won't do that.

i hate even saying anything like that about the 11 yo, he really is a good nice kid.

 

[wilderness01]

I would reschedule at your house for another day when it is more convenient.

 

[mjkacmom]

yes she initiated the playdate, she had invited us over 2 saturdays ago, but there was a snowstorm and we didn't go. so this was rescheduled from that.



our kids have playdates at each others houses probably every couple of weeks. we see them frequently because we do things outside the home with them such as an art class.
we do have the playdates at her house more than mine, and it is really her 8 yo and my 8 yo that are BFF........my younger plays fine with them, her older one ( he is 11 yo, i think almost 12 ) is always getting bored with what they are doing and he goes off on his own. and gets mad at the others.
or he gets his knickers in a twist because the others are being " babyish" or not doing what he wants.
there is always some kind of drama with the 11 yo. I so wish she would just bring her 8 yo over here, but she won't do that.

i hate even saying anything like that about the 11 yo, he really is a good nice kid.

Maybe you could have playdates equally at each others houses when you just have the little ones, and the 8 year olds could get together on their own. I have a dd12, and there's no way she'd want to come along on one of her siblings playdates, and maybe the mom is incomfortable leaving him home alone? My almost 8 year old has been going on playdates with some of her friends since she was a baby, and the same with my twins with siblings of dd's friends, and now that they're older, we do playdates without the moms' going.

When they were little, we'd do organized playgroups, with a few families, and alternate homes.