Planning The Super Secret Renewal of Vows - 18th February 2012
- Thread starter MrRomance
- Start date
Aw, sorry for the frustrations. I can relate to the "why won't they take my money" feeling. Back when we had our Memories VR they weren't offering the purchase of the photo CD for Memories couples. I asked our contact at DPS and she even went to the manager and the answer was a flat no. I couldn't believe they wouldn't put any price tag on it, even a really high one. Well fast forward a few months later and they started offering the CD for $500 but of course we already spent more than that on prints and whatnot so I probably will never get my CD. Just kind of chapped my hide that they didn't think through that offering to begin with, but I guess that was the downside of having an event in the early days of the package being offered. Hope things smooth out for you soon!
Oh that's just plain wrong! They are offering all sort of different photographic packages now. Personally, I've heard too many bad reports about Disney photographers to sign up! We're going to view the pictures first and decide later.
They seem happy to "add on" when they want to, but not so keen to do it at our request. The menu is a classic example, we said we don't need tons of choices because there is only a few of us, but they transformed our menu into something ridiculous!
Either that or throw things at them and stick my tongue out!!
I've done pretty much what you suggested. I told them I am looking to get the menu to $65-80 per person. It's all the extra dishes, they've tacked on because "we should have more choice" that have pushed it up. Our menu was based on two of the menus they sent us. We took out some of the items out and those two menus COMBINED work out to $99 a person...so I don't get where they've got $135 from.
Chilly
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Either that or throw things at them and stick my tongue out!!
I've done pretty much what you suggested. I told them I am looking to get the menu to $65-80 per person. It's all the extra dishes, they've tacked on because "we should have more choice" that have pushed it up. Our menu was based on two of the menus they sent us. We took out some of the items out and those two menus COMBINED work out to $99 a person...so I don't get where they've got $135 from.
Tell them you don't like choice as your easily confused
So now I feel like things have ground to a complete halt, we're waiting for the chef to price the menu (minus all the stuff they added) so we can get the menu all set. I know it's still 4 months away but I'm definitely the type of person who likes things done and sorted out well ahead of time.
More drama is surfacing now too...
We get 6 guests total so I wanted to make sure that anyone else that came for the ceremony were DW's "people" not mine. For me this has always been about giving her, "HER DAY" and so the remaining 3 people were always going to be people I knew she would love there.
DW has lived in the UK for 6 years now and doesn't get to see her family and friends very often. Since our car accident in May 2010, we haven't been able to go the Michigan to see people, partly because of our injuries and partly because we lost all of our income. So, I figured, it would be the right thing to do.
So, #1 choice would be her dad who I love dearly. He is a truly great man and it would mean the world to both of us for him to be there to walk her down the aisle because he never attended our wedding. The problem is my MIL is difficult...no strike that...she's impossible and borderline psychotic She and DW always end up arguing, not talking or with one of them crying because she is...well...a wacko!
I could bore you with endless stories from our 10 year relationship but I won't, I'll just say that in the past I have been referred to as "that" or "that prick", DW has been told she is "as fat as a house" on a regular basis, she doesn't like the fact that we don't allow our kids to have treats from anyone if they're being naughty and she she favours one of our children over the other to the point that she will buy 20 things for one and 1 for the other and gives the unfavoured child dirty looks if she tells on her sister.
All of this type of behaviour means that DW finds herself defending herself and our daughter whenever we're with her and that leads to the arguments etc. So, basically, DW said I don't want that hassle and drama on my day which I totally agree with but I know it breaks her heart that ruling her out means ruling her dad out too.
So the plan was DW's cousin who she is close to and DW's 2 friends. 1 of the friends said she couldn't be certain she could afford it. Fair enough, I respect that, times are tough. Friend 2 is coming with her beau...GREAT! Cousin wants to come (DW wanted her as Maid of Honor) but doesn't know if she can afford it. So I say, well, I will spring for a flight for her to help out and make it possible and I'll also buy her dress. A generous offer I think considering things are not exactly great for us financially either.
So the cousin lives in a remote part of the state and says she'll only fly from a little airport close to her. Well, to fly from that airport is $600 for a 2 day trip. To fly from Detroit, $199. Now, most of the family live in the metro Detroit area, as does her dad and she drives down to visit them, but she won't drive down to get to the airport. When DW asks why, she says her DH needs both cars because he uses one of their cars during the week and the other the weekends and because she will be with us from Fri -Sun, he needs both so she can't drive.
I know it's quite a drive and I appreciate that he may need both cars most of the time, but I can't see why for one weekend, that can't be worked out. For me, it's like she wants to go, she's relying on us to pay for her trip and she wants things all her own way at our expense. My flights from the UK were not much more than $600! DW is fed up with it (more than me to be honest) and I just feel like saying ^$*%&)*&!
So now I'm pondering what to do. We have the reception booked now which will have enough food for 10 (because it is a min requirement for the venue) and I feel like I would rather have strangers to eat the food than pay out all that money to fly down. I think we need to give ourselves the weekend to decide what we're going to do and come up with a way to do it!
More drama is surfacing now too...
We get 6 guests total so I wanted to make sure that anyone else that came for the ceremony were DW's "people" not mine. For me this has always been about giving her, "HER DAY" and so the remaining 3 people were always going to be people I knew she would love there.
DW has lived in the UK for 6 years now and doesn't get to see her family and friends very often. Since our car accident in May 2010, we haven't been able to go the Michigan to see people, partly because of our injuries and partly because we lost all of our income. So, I figured, it would be the right thing to do.
So, #1 choice would be her dad who I love dearly. He is a truly great man and it would mean the world to both of us for him to be there to walk her down the aisle because he never attended our wedding. The problem is my MIL is difficult...no strike that...she's impossible and borderline psychotic
She and DW always end up arguing, not talking or with one of them crying because she is...well...a wacko!I could bore you with endless stories from our 10 year relationship but I won't, I'll just say that in the past I have been referred to as "that" or "that prick", DW has been told she is "as fat as a house" on a regular basis, she doesn't like the fact that we don't allow our kids to have treats from anyone if they're being naughty and she she favours one of our children over the other to the point that she will buy 20 things for one and 1 for the other and gives the unfavoured child dirty looks if she tells on her sister.
All of this type of behaviour means that DW finds herself defending herself and our daughter whenever we're with her and that leads to the arguments etc. So, basically, DW said I don't want that hassle and drama on my day which I totally agree with but I know it breaks her heart that ruling her out means ruling her dad out too.
So the plan was DW's cousin who she is close to and DW's 2 friends. 1 of the friends said she couldn't be certain she could afford it. Fair enough, I respect that, times are tough. Friend 2 is coming with her beau...GREAT! Cousin wants to come (DW wanted her as Maid of Honor) but doesn't know if she can afford it. So I say, well, I will spring for a flight for her to help out and make it possible and I'll also buy her dress. A generous offer I think considering things are not exactly great for us financially either.
So the cousin lives in a remote part of the state and says she'll only fly from a little airport close to her. Well, to fly from that airport is $600 for a 2 day trip. To fly from Detroit, $199. Now, most of the family live in the metro Detroit area, as does her dad and she drives down to visit them, but she won't drive down to get to the airport. When DW asks why, she says her DH needs both cars because he uses one of their cars during the week and the other the weekends and because she will be with us from Fri -Sun, he needs both so she can't drive.
I know it's quite a drive and I appreciate that he may need both cars most of the time, but I can't see why for one weekend, that can't be worked out. For me, it's like she wants to go, she's relying on us to pay for her trip and she wants things all her own way at our expense. My flights from the UK were not much more than $600! DW is fed up with it (more than me to be honest) and I just feel like saying ^$*%&)*&!
So now I'm pondering what to do. We have the reception booked now which will have enough food for 10 (because it is a min requirement for the venue) and I feel like I would rather have strangers to eat the food than pay out all that money to fly down. I think we need to give ourselves the weekend to decide what we're going to do and come up with a way to do it!
librarygeek
DIS Veteran
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- Jan 1, 2011
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Ugh sorry you have to deal with this drama! It sounds really unreasonable of your wife's cousin to not be willing to travel to another airport. Even if the cars aren't available there must be a way that she can take a bus or a train or something to the airport. Dunno how far she is from Detroit but maybe her dad would even be willing to pick her up at her house and bring her to the airport? As hard as it is I think you've got the right idea by not wanting the stress - if this is not okay with the cousin then unfortunately she'll have to miss out. You've done more than enough it sounds like.
So Disney Catered Events have put a big 
on my face today! We are now down from $135++ to $80++ per person having cut out 3 items from the menu! So now our final menu looks like this...Italian Wedding Soup
Garden Salad with Italian, Thousand Island and Raspberry Vinaigrette
Grilled Seasonal Vegetables
Steamed Green Beans
Oven Roasted Sweet Potatoes
Yukon Gold Mashed Potatoes
Baked Penne Pasta with Italian Sausage, Marinara and Mozzarella
Pork Chop with Apple Cider (Influenced by Artist Pointe)
Pan Seared Beef Marsala
House made Bread with Butter
Fresh Fruit Display with Biscotti
Warm Chocolate Banana Torte with Rum Glaze
Fruit Punch, Coffee, Decaffeinated Coffee, and Selection of Teas
$80.00++
Looks good to me! We have also got another potential 2 bums on seats to eat the food! DW's old school friend may be in town for the Princess Half Marathon so her and her DH are hoping to join us at our reception. It's brilliant all the way around because they haven't seen each other for many years!
Off Topic but I just have to share it because it's so sweet... So DD7 says to me tonight that she wants to run in the Disney Royal Family Kids Race on the last day of our trip. I wasn't especially keen on the idea because she has autism and severe anxiety disorder and she doesn't do crowds very well. So as I was trying to think of a way to explain that I didn't think it was a good idea she tells me that she wants to do it to raise money for Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital in London. She gets treatment there every week and she's always worrying about the terminally ill kids that she sees.
So she tells me that she was reading about it and if she can raise £250 it will pay for the equipment for the playroom they are building. So I tell her that is a really kind thing to do and she says "I'm quite good at running and the hospital has helped me a lot so if I do this I can help them a lot too" My heart just absolutely melted, she was so determined and so driven to help that I couldn't say no (even though it does worry me!) So she spent her Friday night setting up her online sponsorship page for donations and I spent my Friday getting her a place on the run! I'm so proud of her and within a couple of hours, she's got 16% of her target!
Anyway, I digress...
We are now waiting for the 2 BEO's from DFTW and DCE, but by my estimation, the total spend will be around $4500, which I think is pretty awesome. Considering Disney have had 27,000 weddings since they start doing weddings in 1991, it's a pretty exclusive club to be in and I know it will be an amazing day for my DW.
Everything is booked now, officiant, hair and make up etc. so the only thing left to do is decide on rings. The problem is, the wedding rings we have a very exclusive, they are custom made in a little store in Amsterdam. We love them and neither of us would change them, so my first plan was to get DW an eternity ring and not have a new ring myself. Well, DW is not best pleased with that idea and she wants us both to have new rings which we can wear on our ring fingers on the other hand. Nice idea and I'm running with it (I learned long ago to never argue with your wife on jewellry matters!) but it's hard to find rings that compliment each other.
So that's my challenge for this week...research and buy suitable rings!
librarygeek
DIS Veteran
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Mmm, the menu sounds delicious! Pork chop with apple cider, and chocolate banana torte! Yum!
Your daughter is so inspiring, I'm sure you must be so proud. Would you be okay with sharing her online donation page? Or if you feel comfortable PM it to me? I would love to help even if it's only a little.
Good luck with the rings, I'm sure you will find something!
Your daughter is so inspiring, I'm sure you must be so proud. Would you be okay with sharing her online donation page? Or if you feel comfortable PM it to me? I would love to help even if it's only a little.
Good luck with the rings, I'm sure you will find something!
Oh
, I am really proud of her, she definitely doesn't get it from me (The only time I run is when a lion is chasing me!) but she's definitely inspired me to do something. I think it's against the forum rules to post links for "money" which I totally understand, but I will send you a PM with her page. Thank you so much for supporting her! 
DoomBuggy0922
DIS Veteran
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Sorry I fell a little behind, Mr. Romance! That first menu that Disney gave you?! OMG! THAT WAS SO MUCH FOOD! WHO NEEDS THAT MUCH FOOD FOR FIVE PEOPLE!?!? SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!
I digress.
Anyway, your daughter sounds like she is just the sweetest thing.
I love your little family.
BUT, your MIL sounds like she needs a swift kick you-know-where! I am glad she won't be coming to ruin your special, amazing day. But the cousin also sounds like she is being a pain. Can't her DH drop her off at Detroit?!
And, um... I'll come and help eat the food!
I digress.
Anyway, your daughter sounds like she is just the sweetest thing.
I love your little family.BUT, your MIL sounds like she needs a swift kick you-know-where! I am glad she won't be coming to ruin your special, amazing day. But the cousin also sounds like she is being a pain. Can't her DH drop her off at Detroit?!
And, um... I'll come and help eat the food!
Sorry I fell a little behind, Mr. Romance! That first menu that Disney gave you?! OMG! THAT WAS SO MUCH FOOD! WHO NEEDS THAT MUCH FOOD FOR FIVE PEOPLE!?!? SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!
I digress.
Anyway, your daughter sounds like she is just the sweetest thing.
BUT, your MIL sounds like she needs a swift kick you-know-where! I am glad she won't be coming to ruin your special, amazing day. But the cousin also sounds like she is being a pain. Can't her DH drop her off at Detroit?!
And, um... I'll come and help eat the food!
Thank you!! She is a fantastic little girl, she has been through so much but she is always more worried about other people!
The menu looks great now, still too much food but it meets the F & B minimum and it's all stuff that our little party will love! Just need more butts on seats with big appetites!
disney-a-holic
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Ok, sat on my sofa, shamefully stalking the Disney Wedding boards on a saturday afternoon i seriously did not expect to have tears streaming down my face!!!
firstly - Yay you for being a super thoughtful husband and wanting to spring such a romantic suprise as a vow renewal for her!!!
Secondly - oh my word for selflessy adopting your 2 beautiful daughters, AND when they have additional needs, i absolutely take my hat of to you and your lovely wife for doing this, i have an Autistic stepson, so i realise whole heartfedly what impact this has on all of your lifes!!!!
And lastly - wow on your lovely daughter thinking of others and wanting to raise money to "pay it back" You have both clearly brought her up to be a very thoughtful young lady!!!
Enough of all that - im in on the reading, and more shameful lurking!!!
firstly - Yay you for being a super thoughtful husband and wanting to spring such a romantic suprise as a vow renewal for her!!!
Secondly - oh my word for selflessy adopting your 2 beautiful daughters, AND when they have additional needs, i absolutely take my hat of to you and your lovely wife for doing this, i have an Autistic stepson, so i realise whole heartfedly what impact this has on all of your lifes!!!!
And lastly - wow on your lovely daughter thinking of others and wanting to raise money to "pay it back" You have both clearly brought her up to be a very thoughtful young lady!!!
Enough of all that - im in on the reading, and more shameful lurking!!!
Sorry I fell a little behind, Mr. Romance! That first menu that Disney gave you?! OMG! THAT WAS SO MUCH FOOD! WHO NEEDS THAT MUCH FOOD FOR FIVE PEOPLE!?!? SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!
I digress.
Anyway, your daughter sounds like she is just the sweetest thing.
BUT, your MIL sounds like she needs a swift kick you-know-where! I am glad she won't be coming to ruin your special, amazing day. But the cousin also sounds like she is being a pain. Can't her DH drop her off at Detroit?!
And, um... I'll come and help eat the food!
Ok, sat on my sofa, shamefully stalking the Disney Wedding boards on a saturday afternoon i seriously did not expect to have tears streaming down my face!!!
firstly - Yay you for being a super thoughtful husband and wanting to spring such a romantic suprise as a vow renewal for her!!!
Secondly - oh my word for selflessy adopting your 2 beautiful daughters, AND when they have additional needs, i absolutely take my hat of to you and your lovely wife for doing this, i have an Autistic stepson, so i realise whole heartfedly what impact this has on all of your lifes!!!!
And lastly - wow on your lovely daughter thinking of others and wanting to raise money to "pay it back" You have both clearly brought her up to be a very thoughtful young lady!!!
Enough of all that - im in on the reading, and more shameful lurking!!!
Thank you so much for your kind words about my family!
Having a stepson with ASD, you know first hand how tough life can be at times and my wife totally deserves her big day. I've deliberately not gone into detail about the full horrors our family have faced, particularly our youngest daughter, because to be honest, I think people would be horrified. We have faced situations and decisions that no parent should have to and as hard as it has been, DW and I have picked each other up and grown stronger because of it.
For all of her problems (and she has a long diagnosis!) the little one is always the first one to give to someone else, from a hug to her pocket money, she's always the first one in line to give someone what they need. I don't think it is our input, I think she's just a naturally giving little girl. She spent the first 20 months of her life, strapped in a car seat and before we adopted her she had 5 different homes in 18 months. I think that somewhere in her mind she truly knows how it feels not to have a need met and I really believe that is where it came from.
I know she'll run her little legs off during the race, she is very small for her age (about the size of a 4 year old) but I'll bet my last penny that she's up there with the big kids!
tinkerbell 766
<font color=purple>If I can't fly, let me sing. Or
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Jay sweetie - Just catching up and I must say that the menu looks fantastic!!! Shame I am not in Florida as I would be crashing the party!!!
Your daughter sounds wonderful and seems completely selfless to overcome her fears to do so much good!! God bless her!!
Your daughter sounds wonderful and seems completely selfless to overcome her fears to do so much good!! God bless her!!
You'd be very welcome too!
I'm pleased with the menu now and the price!I have to be honest, I am worried for her, but she's so determined that I have to let her do it. Today she made posters that she wants to ask her head teacher to put up in school to get more sponsors. She's worked non stop since I said she could do it. She had me set up that new charity text thing (I don't know if you saw it on the news - she did!) You sign up to it and they give you a code exclusive to you and your charity hers is KATN99. Sponsors can text her code to a special number and an amount and it goes straight into her sponsorship at GOSH. She's already had 4 text sponsors and she's up to 18% of her target now!
librarygeek
DIS Veteran
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- Jan 1, 2011
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Oh
That would be perfect, definitely send me a PM!
I think it worries me more than it is her right now. I just hope she is OK in the crowds and that she hits her target or it will be meltdown city. She just won't understand if she doesn't!
Half a sigh of relief today with the purchase of DW's ring! We found rings that we thought were a good match. So here is the one we bought today...
It's 14k White Gold, with .60 carats sapphires (DW favourite stone and colour) and .40 carats diamonds. DW has REALLY small hands and fingers (no wise cracks please!) so we had to get smaller stones because we discovered when we got her engagement ring that large stones look ridiculous!
Here is my ring (to-be), we'll probably get this one next week.
7mm wide, 14K White Gold with .60 carat sapphires or Emeralds (this is being debated at the moment because green is my colour and so apparently I should have emeralds, but I want to MATCH!) and .40 carats diamonds.
I figured I'd open this debate up to you guys...what do you think?
On another note for those who have asked about how they can sponsor my daughter, DIS HQ have kindly agreed to let me put details in my signature! Thank you all so much for wanting to support Kate in this, it means the world to all of us! She got permission today to put the posters she spent all weekend making up around her school! Seriously guys...thank you all so much
I'm going to leave it there for now, so you can all give me your 2 cents worth on the ring situation!
It's 14k White Gold, with .60 carats sapphires (DW favourite stone and colour) and .40 carats diamonds. DW has REALLY small hands and fingers (no wise cracks please!) so we had to get smaller stones because we discovered when we got her engagement ring that large stones look ridiculous!
Here is my ring (to-be), we'll probably get this one next week.
7mm wide, 14K White Gold with .60 carat sapphires or Emeralds (this is being debated at the moment because green is my colour and so apparently I should have emeralds, but I want to MATCH!) and .40 carats diamonds.
I figured I'd open this debate up to you guys...what do you think?
On another note for those who have asked about how they can sponsor my daughter, DIS HQ have kindly agreed to let me put details in my signature! Thank you all so much for wanting to support Kate in this, it means the world to all of us! She got permission today to put the posters she spent all weekend making up around her school! Seriously guys...thank you all so much
I'm going to leave it there for now, so you can all give me your 2 cents worth on the ring situation!
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