Or, as I like to call it, moments of trepidation.
The most recent of which came last night as DH and I were snuggling on the couch, watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets on tv. Even though DH tried to watch Ben 10 Alien Force. I veteod him. He listened. God bless him, he knows not to stand between me and Harry.
Anyway, I've had several moments of "what was I thinking?" about this trip. I'm not going to lie about it. The best way to conquer your fear is to admit that you have it, acknowledge it exists, and decide to move past it.
So that's what we're doing. We're going to talk about my moments of trepidation. Prefaced with a little history.
See, the last time I went to the World with Mom and Nana, just the three of us, was oh, so many moons ago. Before DS was even a twinkle in my eye. He was almost a twinkle, but not quite...so let's say that was almost five years ago.
Now, when we three ladies take on the World we do it in quite the leisurely fashion. We christen our trip by heading to Epcot, and getting champagne in France. We toast each other, and remark on how grateful we are to be there again, with each other. We shop around the World Showcase, we go on the rides we feel like, and we eat.
Really, really, really LONG, lesiurely meals. Pretty much once a day, with snack type things thrown in here and there. And our park touring and everything we do is fairly centered around whatever the coveted ADR of the day is. Because my mother is something of a connosieur. And she knows what she wants. NoTiaDalma. She wants good food, and good service. And let's face it. Although sometimes hit or miss, I find some of the best food and service can be had in the World. Mom and I are well versed in the offerings, shall we say. We have our favorites, and we know what we like.
So you can see how those trips were? Life without children. Well, at least for me, since I am their daughter / granddaughter. You get the idea. Life without a little one.
How could we possibly marry what they like to do with my three year old toddler? Leisurely? I could see that. Strolling around the World Showcase...as long as we have his stroller and an
ECV for Nana. (More on that later.) The coveted LONG meal at I'mNotNamingTheADRsYet? DISASTER! DISASTER, I SAY!!! And when I say long, let me put into perspective for you. Would you like to know how many nights we actually were the last guests out of Epcot? Because we had a late ADR at Alfredo's, a waiter we loved who knew us by name, and nothing but time on our hands? A waiter who would let us stop in the middle of our meal, take our wine glasses out into the World Showcase, watch Illuminations, come back, and resume from wherever we were? Yup. That long. Think 2-3-4 hours long. And yes, your butt does hurt. And it really does kill the magic when as soon as you walk to the other side of that exit and head towards the monorail, they cut the music in the park.
I was doubtful. About how this would work. About a lot of things. I just feel like I can't fully put it into words.
And last night I was struck by an almost paralyzing fear. You may laugh, if you must. You may find me childish, or immature, or whatever you like. But we're talking about fears, and fears are not rational my friends.
I was struck by the fear of leaving DH.
Of travelling without him, with the boy. On multiple levels. On the level that I would miss him. On the level that all the things he normally does on a trip would fall onto my shoulders. On the level that I just hate to fly. I do it, and I maintain my calm for the boy's sake because I don't want him to have my fears. I want him to grow up untouched by my psychosis...well, as much as possible, anyway.
Not that Mom won't help. A point which I made to her quite thoroughly. And I don't mean that in a bad way. I'm not a wimp. I can handle my son. But we're talking about the woman who loves to spoil him. Who if he was having a meltdown over candy would probably just hand it to him. Savvy?
I have been paralyzed with fear over so much of this trip.
But Mom and I began a more open dialogue. About what my expectations were, and what hers were. I talked so much about not going. Even after she had bought our airfare, even after we had booked ADRs for all of us. I was still on the fence. I just couldn't fathom it. I couldn't fathom how it would possibly work, how we could possibly do it.
And then two key things happened.
The women who were so in love with the long meal, so in love with the coveted ADR to suchandsuchplace said words I never, ever, ever thought would come out of their mouths...
"TK, listen. If you're worried about our reservations and DS, we don't care about them.
We'll eat counter service the whole time, if that's what we need to do. All that matters is that we're there together."
Dost mine ears decieve me? Did the women just offer to give up the coveted ADRs if my toddler is cranky or tired, or we just can't make it for some unforseen reason I haven't even thought of yet?
They did.
Score one for Mom and Nana.
And the second thing.
With the boy. And the, "I go to Disney World in December, Mama."
Yes, peanut. Yes, you do.
And I realized something about this trip, and about all my fears, rational, irrational or otherwise. They were just fears. Some may come true, some may not, but that's not what matters.
What matters, is how I handle the situations that come my way. So it wasn't so much that anything about this trip changed, but that I, myself, changed.
My perspective.
I feel very Matrix, right now.
"There is no spoon."
It is, after all, only ourselves that bend.
D Can't wait!!!
Sounds like a great crew you have going on this trip. Does HRH (love that, btw) know that he is returning to the house of the mouse or is he too young to get it? Just tell him he's going back to the place with all the candy! 
