Picky Kids

[Beca]

Sorry, I just find it hard to believe. I think certain people are making a lot of money from these so-called "sensitivity issues". Genuine physical problems and food allergies are one thing, but this reeks of pseudoscience for the purpose of assuaging the guilt of the McMoms.

I was forced to eat stuff when I was a kid, and I like most of it now. I have no lingering emotional damage over being told that if I didn't eat all my meat I wouldn't get my pudding.

It's a miracle that the children of my generation survived having to eat a varied and nutritious diet, when after all, we were all apparently abused by not being allowed to fill our little stomachs with bland, overly-processed crap.

Your brain and body develop based, on a large part, by what you fuel its growth with.

Do we really want McKids running the world when we're old?

FWIW, I am the parent of a VERY picky eater. She is so picky that she doesn't like the "Mac 'n Cheese" you keep referring to...she won't touch it. She also will not eat McDonalds. Most of the food we eat is organic, raw foods. As a "treat" last night, I let her pick out a regular grocery store mix of blueberry muffins because she had been such a good girl all weekend. She took one bite of it and asked if she could let the dog have it. She then asked if we could make "real" blueberry muffins (i.e. organic ones using real blueberries). The fact is, with just a few exceptions, she doesn't like junk anymore than she likes good food....she is just picky. The day after Christmas, I boxed up all of her leftover Christmas candy and placed it in the pantry. She hasn't eaten ONE piece of it. She's not a candy-crazy, junk-food crazy kid. She likes Pizza Hut pizza (yuck!!!), and Wendy's (even yuckier!!!). She knows that she might get those once a month as a "treat" because Mommy and Daddy do not like them and will not eat there.

The flaw with your argument is children like my dd. You make the assumption that these "food sensitive" children all love junk food...it's not true. My picky dd doesn't like "bland overly processed food", and yet she is still very picky.

 

[Beca]

But children do not have the judgement required to make healthy choices. If my kids had the choice, they would eat nothing but sweets and junk food. It is my job to teach them healthy eating. In order to teach them, I have rules - just like in many other areas of my parenting strategy. The rule is if you choose not to eat (or eat enough) dinner, you get no dessert or junk food. Yes, I have the option of not bringing sweets and junk food into my home, but I want them to also learn that those things can be part of a healthy diet, if enjoyed in moderation, after basic nutritional needs are met.

BTW - it does not bother me that someone's child is a pciky eater. Whatever works in your house and doesn't affect me, is fine with me. I do give my children some choices in what they eat, after all, we all have different likes and dislikes.

Denae

But, just because my dd is not eating what we eat for dinner does not mean that she is not eating healty. Actually, eating healthy is surprisingly important to her, and although she may not have the full understanding of all of the aspects of nutrition, she takes great pride in choosing "healthy" choices. I let her pick out her snack everyday, and she is always asking me, "Mom, is this a healthy snack?"

I often plan our meals so that I have something I KNOW she will not eat (such as fajita enchiladas) on the night after we have something she loves (such as homemade organic rotisserie chicken), so that if she does not want to try enchiladas (which she has refused to take me up on), then she can have leftover rotisserie chicken. It's not much more work for me, and just as healthy. I always offer for her to have the enchiladas...maybe someday she will take me up on it!!

And, if she eats her rotisserie chicken well (along with a few other foods), I still do allow her a "dessert" for dinner. However, her choice for dessert is usually organic strawberries (if I can find them at the store), or some other organic "treat".

 

[MemoryMakers2669]

I know so many parents like this. I was a nanny for 16 years and really learned some great lessons for parenting my own kids and the area of food was a major one.

In our house it is simple. I make the food, the get to choose whether or not to eat it. Only on rare occasions do I make the kids something different than what DH and I have....like something really spicy, I make them a different meat that night.

I don't battle with them at all either. I don't make them eat a certain amount of bites, don't make them even try things really. While we encourage them to try new things, I don't put any pressure on it. I don't bribe with desserts, or threaten to withhold things either. They learn early on that if they don't eat some dinner, then dessert isn't happening that night. We only do dessert a couple times a week at best anyway.

Because of this, my kids pretty much eat everything and very healthy. They love fresh fish, raw veggies, fruits and whole grains. I can take them everywhere.

 

[chobie]

I cater to my kids. They eat can eat whatever they want usually if its healthy and reasonable. I have no problem making them something different. They are not that picky, but they like plainer foods than my DH and I. They will try new things often and sometimes like them. Whatever. They have also have taught that they must eat what is being offered at friends houses and they do because that is the price of staying over at a friends. It works for us and that is all the counts.

 

[Blue Skies]

MareQ:

I feel for you! It must be hard to deal with the food sensitivity issues of your child. I thought I had issues with my picky eater – you have it so much worse.

 

[rt2dz]

Just be persistant. Be prepared for tears. No bite= no dessert. We can't get one bite out of DS at every dinner but at least half now.

Really? I try not to use dessert as a reward because that sets people up with bad eating habits, at least according to everything I've read and my nutritionist friend. Reward yourself by eating junk food. I don't even offer dessert at most meals. Dessert is a treat and not the kind you "earn".

 

[rt2dz]

I just wanted to add, we don't keep junk food in the house.

Also, to the pp who mentioned that allergies could be avoided if you expose kids to foods. Our allergist says the exact opposite. I am supposed to avoid certain foods until my child is older and his body can recognize that it isn't a foreign object to be fought off (what an allegry is, treating something normal as an illness). For example, peanut & nut allergies run in my family, so not until they are at least 3yo. Meaning no PB&J sandwiches.

 

[va32h]

But children do not have the judgement required to make healthy choices. If my kids had the choice, they would eat nothing but sweets and junk food. It is my job to teach them healthy eating. In order to teach them, I have rules - just like in many other areas of my parenting strategy. The rule is if you choose not to eat (or eat enough) dinner, you get no dessert or junk food. Yes, I have the option of not bringing sweets and junk food into my home, but I want them to also learn that those things can be part of a healthy diet, if enjoyed in moderation, after basic nutritional needs are met.

BTW - it does not bother me that someone's child is a picky eater. Whatever works in your house and doesn't affect me, is fine with me. I do give my children some choices in what they eat, after all, we all have different likes and dislikes.

Denae

I'm not trying to argue with you - but I am sure that there are lots of kids (my kids included) who do not choose to eat nothing but sweets and junk food, and it isn't because I don't keep them in the house. In fact, because they know they can have those foods at any time, they have lost any special allure.

I know I am defensive on this issue, mainly because food was such an insane issue when I was growing up and my parents and inlaws still nag my kids horribly about eating...to the extent that I have actually told my own parents to leave the table if they couldn't keep their mouths shut about what or how much my kids were eating!!!

Of course what other people do in their homes is their business - I practice what I preach!

 

[KirstenB]

I'm not trying to argue with you - but I am sure that there are lots of kids (my kids included) who do not choose to eat nothing but sweets and junk food, and it isn't because I don't keep them in the house. In fact, because they know they can have those foods at any time, they have lost any special allure.

I know I am defensive on this issue, mainly because food was such an insane issue when I was growing up and my parents and inlaws still nag my kids horribly about eating...to the extent that I have actually told my own parents to leave the table if they couldn't keep their mouths shut about what or how much my kids were eating!!!

Of course what other people do in their homes is their business - I practice what I preach!

Va32h---Exactly!! Picky eater does Not = junk food eater. We still have dd's Halloween candy here, and I'm sure it'll still be here by next Halloween if I don't throw it away. Our dd isn't keen on anything sweet at all. Maybe ice cream once every 2 months.

I won't even go into how obnoxious our mealtimes were when I was growing up, except to say that battling over food can suck the pleasure out of a meal for everyone involved. DH was the one who convinced me how counterproductive it was to fight with dd over food.

There seems to be an assumption on the part of some posters that picky eaters just eat junk. Not true. I'll grant you that our dd does not get the nutritional variety I would like. Just because she doesn't eat broccoli doesn't mean she's getting fast food every night.

 

[themarquis]

I just wanted to add, we don't keep junk food in the house.

Also, to the pp who mentioned that allergies could be avoided if you expose kids to foods. Our allergist says the exact opposite. I am supposed to avoid certain foods until my child is older and his body can recognize that it isn't a foreign object to be fought off (what an allegry is, treating something normal as an illness). For example, peanut & nut allergies run in my family, so not until they are at least 3yo. Meaning no PB&J sandwiches.

Yes -- what your allergist says is the prevailing wisdom. But some immunologists/allergists are starting to question this, esp. since food allergies have statistically increased since pediatricians started telling parents to delay certain foods. Its something that nobody is really certain about right now -- there is a lot of exciting work being done in the field, and allergic responses are quite complicated, so there are some controversies about what the exact mechanism is. BUT ... I'm sure that in your particular case, since there is a family history of peanut/nut allergies, waiting is not a terrible idea. Anyway, I was just bringing it up as something interesting that I had been reading about!

 

[1of6]

Really? I try not to use dessert as a reward because that sets people up with bad eating habits, at least according to everything I've read and my nutritionist friend. Reward yourself by eating junk food. I don't even offer dessert at most meals. Dessert is a treat and not the kind you "earn".

Desert is not a reward in my house. It happens if there is time and it is usually a scoop of ice cream, a cookie or fruit snacks. But I cannot allow DS to have a cookie before bed when he sat at the table with an empty plate. He will not even put food on his plate.