Picky Kids

[Cindy B]

I

What I've never understood is picky adults. I can see if they've tried something and didn't like it, but when they won't even try new things. My parents are like that and it drives me nuts. Once in a while I'll offer to bring them some dinner, and they ALWAYS turn it down because I've done something "wrong" to it (like using sausage in chili, or added seasonings to a burger).

ITA!

My BIL's are a pain in the rear when it comes to trying new things. They won't eat vegetables unless its in an overprocessed mixed casserole crap.

Me and my kids are adventerous eaters. They eat Thai, Indian and so much more things.. including spicy. My kids teach my nieces and nephews a thing or two about picky eating.

 

[Luv'sTink]

I am very lucky DS is really not picky, he actually likes more stuff than I do and it is healthier.

 

[BelleBoo&AmisMum]

DS is mildly picky but he'll try things. DD#2 isn't picky and eats everything but the table and lettuce. DD#1 would/could live on air if we'd let her. She's had two anaphylactic allergic reactions to unknown foods and as soon as that happened she stopped trying new things and eating a lot. She'll eat the few cheeses she knows won't cause a reaction (cheddar and mozzarella) she questions everything before it goes into her mouth. She just turned 5. She will eat peanut butter but not jelly, pizza sometimes with pepperoni most of the times without, pepperoni is the only meat she'll eat. She's addicted to snap peas. At this point it's about finding what she can and will eat. So yes, I cater to her. But given the choice of panic attacks and epi-pens or catering to her wants/needs right now, I'll cater.

 

[cristit14]

I guess that I cater somewhat. I don't make a whole different meal, but DS doesn't like sauces or gravies of any kind so I will hold out his piece of chicken or meatballs or whatever to eat with his plain pasta, potatoes or rice. DD doesn't like fish (other than tilapia) so if we grill salmon or something I will throw a chicken breast on the grill for her. There have been times that I make something that I know DS totally will not eat and he sometimes will have spaghettios for dinner. He is starting to get better though. The daycare the kids went to in the summer made the kids try everything that was served or they couldn't go out to play. After a couple of times of being "held back" at lunch he at least tried the food. Now he says that he likes chili and can't wait for me to make it again. Yippee. I tried the whole sitting at the table until you try it here at the house and it didn't work. He had more will power than I did.

 

[disykat]

In general, if I cook it, they're supposed to eat it. Each child is allowed one thing I never make them eat. Everything else gets a good college try or it gets saved for snack time later.

My peanut allergic child is allowed to be as picky as he wants to be any time I haven't cooked the food myself. He needs to make his own choices and find his comfort zone since it may save his life some day. We don't make a big deal of it, and he has to be polite, but I'm not going to make him eat something he isn't comfortable with.

 

[Aidensmom]

DS is mildly picky but he'll try things. DD#2 isn't picky and eats everything but the table and lettuce. DD#1 would/could live on air if we'd let her. She's had two anaphylactic allergic reactions to unknown foods and as soon as that happened she stopped trying new things and eating a lot. She'll eat the few cheeses she knows won't cause a reaction (cheddar and mozzarella) she questions everything before it goes into her mouth. She just turned 5. She will eat peanut butter but not jelly, pizza sometimes with pepperoni most of the times without, pepperoni is the only meat she'll eat. She's addicted to snap peas. At this point it's about finding what she can and will eat. So yes, I cater to her. But given the choice of panic attacks and epi-pens or catering to her wants/needs right now, I'll cater.

If she has had reactions to certain cheeses, she may have a mold allergy. I have one, and have to stay away from aged cheeses, bleu cheese and similar soft cheeses, and it is risky to eat any cheese that doesn't come from my kitchen because it may have come from a piece that is starting to mold and the molding part was just cut off (which is just fine for people without a mold allergy).

 

[MamaLema]

I don't cater to my kids at all and could care less what other parents do.

 

[BelleBoo&AmisMum]

If she has had reactions to certain cheeses, she may have a mold allergy. I have one, and have to stay away from aged cheeses, bleu cheese and similar soft cheeses, and it is risky to eat any cheese that doesn't come from my kitchen because it may have come from a piece that is starting to mold and the molding part was just cut off (which is just fine for people without a mold allergy).

She's tested negative to molds, all sorts. We're still unsure what started it, she'd tried a whole milk imported cheese with a rind, she'd had other cheeses before that without problem. She's also had a reaction to a type of yogurt but hasn't since. Her asthma and allergy doc isn't sure what the deal is, they ran a panel of 300+ allergens and nothing came up.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

There are things I will not make my kids eat--but they must try everything at least once. There are very very very few items on the banned list (oldest detests green beans with an absolute passion ever since her first taste when she was a baby).

I will not make alternative meals...I will sometimes supplement a meal so that they do have some nutrition if there was something they didn't care for.

Speaking of mold allergies--we had the oldest tested and she is allergic to mold. Funny enough--she doesn't really like cheese. She'll eat it certain ways that I still cannot remember (parmesan on pasta I do know--but the rest, I have no clue).

So I do wonder if that is why her symptoms linger despite medicine. (we gave up on the meds).

 

[Sparx]

I'm fairly picky, but I really honestly do not like a lot of foods. Most meats for example. I've never liked them, I never will.

Early on I learned to cook for myself when I didn't like what was being prepared.

ETA

I was forced to eat something once. It only made me resent it more and now I can not smell, touch, or eat that food without being totally disgusted.

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

My parents forced me to eat certain vegetables when I was a kid, and I vowed to never do that to my kids. I've got three kids and the older ones eat everything. They love all types of food. Oldest DS started out as a pickty eater and now eats everything.

DH & youngest DS are picky eaters. DS trys a lot of new things when he goes to his friends' houses. I guess he is more open to trying something new when he sees his friends do it.

I have never forced any of them to eat anything. If I make something and they don't like it, they can make something else. It really is no big deal.

 

[va32h]

All of my children are picky eaters, a trait they no doubt inherit for me. I don't force them to eat foods they don't like, but I don't deny myself meals that I like for their sake, either.

So that frequently results in all four of us having something different to eat at dinner. Which many people have found absolutely horrifying. But oh well. I don't mind making the different meals, and I don't see why anyone else should care what my kids eat in their own home.

I do require them to be polite when they are eating at someone else's house - they just have to make do with what the hostess is serving and say "no thank you" to anything else.

I have grown more adventurous in my eating as I got older, and I am sure that my kids will too.

 

[MushyMushy]

I'm fairly picky, but I really honestly do not like a lot of foods. Most meats for example. I've never liked them, I never will.

Early on I learned to cook for myself when I didn't like what was being prepared.

ETA

I was forced to eat something once. It only made me resent it more and now I can not smell, touch, or eat that food without being totally disgusted.

Same here! I don't know how old I was, but I was pretty little, and had a day care sitter force feed me peas. To this day, peas make me sick and I can't eat them (except sugar snap peas for some reason). I've tried.

Another time, my mom forced me to eat sausage, and I promptly threw up on her. That's the last time she ever forced me to eat.

 

[freckles and boo]

My six-year-old is a very picky eater. She likes about a dozen things all told. Fortunately she doesn't like candy, soda, or other junk food, so it isn't all bad. It simply isn't a battle I want to fight. I expect her to try new things but I can't and won't force her to eat it. I spent several hours staring at a plate of liver as a child and it was a waste of time and energy on everyone's part. I still can't stomach the smell of liver.

 

[disneygals]

So that frequently results in all four of us having something different to eat at dinner. Which many people have found absolutely horrifying. But oh well. I don't mind making the different meals, and I don't see why anyone else should care what my kids eat in their own home.

I do require them to be polite when they are eating at someone else's house - they just have to make do with what the hostess is serving and say "no thank you" to anything else. .

Us too, not sure why it bothers people so much. The way I found out how much my kids liked meat, was because they had it at someone else's house.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Most of the people I know with picky kids will tell you the picky-ness started in the very beginning with them rejecting babyfoods, so I have trouble believing it's the result of parenting. I think that some kids are very sensitive to food textures and tastes and some aren't -- it's how they're wired.

As for our house. I would say that my son is a little picky -- there's certainly a list of foods he won't eat, but to me the truly picky kids are the ones where there's a list of foods they will eat.

I make 1 meal, but I'm willing to flex on that a little -- for example, I'll make tacos and put all the fixing out for him to choose from, knowing he'll leave of the tomatoes and the lettuce. I'll make broiled salmon, baked potatoes and veggies and he'll eat the salmon, the veggies, and a slice of whole wheat bread. DS is also on the border of overweight, and it's important to me that he eat a fair amount of fruit and veggies at every lunch and dinner, so I'll make 2 veggies, one of which is on the short list that I know he likes (peas, green beans, cauliflower, broccoli, raw carrots) and one that I like. He'll usually eat a tiny taste of mine, and all of the other. Plus I serve fruit, which he loves, at every lunch and dinner. If the protein is something I know he won't touch I'll serve it with a lowfat yogurt drink (he doesn't like plain milk) instead of water.

For lunch I'm more likely to "short order". I pack his lunchbox with healthy things I know he likes -- e.g. he likes nonfat yogurt so there's one in there almost every day. If we're home on the weekend I'll say -- "I'm making sandwiches, what do you want on yours?" and may end up with turkey and havarti for me, ham and cheddar for him.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I wanted to add something to the posters who commented on how they cater to young children with medical issues.

My son was definitely in that boat -- he aspirated food into his lungs unless it was very specific textures, and so was fed with a feeding tube until about 2 1/2. The list of foods he was allowed to eat by mouth was very restricted, nothing with protein or fat, nothing with free liquid in it (e.g. something like an orange where you take a bite and juice runs out), nothing that you have to chew a lot. The list was also always changing so he'd find something he liked and then it would be labeled "forbidden". He also simply didn't get hunger -- he knew when his stomach felt funny but those were the times when he was least likely to eat because he simply didn't know that putting something in his mouth would make it feel better -- so telling him "this is what we're having, eat it or go hungry" was definitely not an option.

My approach was to avoid power struggles at all cost. He ate what he wanted when he wanted. If he wanted nothing but blueberries for a month (which he did -- makes for lovely diapers, let me tell you) that's what we got. If he was hungry and only wanted a cookie that's what he got. When he weaned from the tube we did ice cream every day until he stopped losing weight.

If there was ever a child who was being set up by the parents to be picky it was mine. And yet, my post above describes how my seven year old eats now -- not particularly picky, and if anything a tad overweight.

So, if you have a toddler with medical issues, take heart, and if you think pickiness is all about the parenting -- think again.

 

[CEDmom]

I have 1 child so maybe that the difference between catering and not. She's very small for her age so we make sure for the most part that what she's eating is nutritionally dense. If that means making her something a little different than what I make for DH and me so be it.

She eats a wide variety of things so she can't be considered a picky eater. It's more that she's choosey about what she eats. I don't think that's a bad thing given the issue with childhood obesity. She simply won't eat if it's something she doesn't like. Not a good thing given her size.

BTW, she won't eat yellow cheese either - only white.

 

[U2_rocks!]

My 5 yo picky child is really starting to improve - tonight she ate bruschetta, which is a real first for her! I think the key is that she loves garlic, so anything with lots of garlic she's willing to at least try! Another thing is that she's going to WDW for the first time in April, and we've been stressing to her that we'll be eating out a lot, and at least some of the time we will be in restaurants where she can't get the stuff she's used to, so she needs to get to like new things. Every time we try new things now it's for WDW in her mind. Hopefully by the time the trip is over she'll have a much expanded palate!

Luckily I don't have to worry about the other two - they will eat plenty of normal adult things as well as "kid" things. We won't be on the DDP, so we'll be ordering a variety of small things to share, or sharing meals between at least 2 of us (since we do not have the kind of appetites required to each eat an entire WDW meal), except of course at the couple of buffets we have planned.

 

[rt2dz]

It depends.

My kids don't like lasgna. Each for a different reason. I don't make them eat it. But I know that in advance, and something is made seperate for them in that case. Now that they can eat or not. Usually, plain extra noodles. Now what my kids really dislike is the "traditional" kid foods--hamburgers, hotdogs, pizza, chicken nuggets, so it isn't much of an issue as those aren't often served foods.

I don't believe in forcing kids to eat. I don't like every food. No one is forcing me to eat something. I HATE American cheese (white or yellow). Haven't met any other kind of cheese I dislike though. Peas? Gross! Not a fan of peanut butter, although I can tolerate it. Chocolate makes my stomach turn. I won't touch iceburg lettuce (endive, mixed greens, spinach, but NO ICEBURG). I do not like ham. I'm very picky over eggs. I won't touch baked or fried chicken--grilled or roasted I'm all for. Poor DH. He loves beans. I hate them, as do all our kids. So they are never served at home.

Now, we do have the "one bite rule" while our kids are little. They have to try (and I mean chew & swallow) one bite of everything until they have tried it at least 25 times. If after 25 times, they still don't like it, then I will concede they do not like it (see lasgna above) and leave it off their plate.