Picky eater vent

[jm106]

This is just for clarification and is based on My family-My own DH was a very picky eater from a family of even more picky eaters. Thankfully be became more open minded since I am a great cook and has tried a huge amount of different foods and has a very small amount that he wont eat still. Sadly, everyone in his family is Obese with bad eating habits. DH struggles to keep weight down but can manage it because he is willing to eat better. His sister is so picky, 38 years old and eats, chicken fingers, fries, pizza and plane bagles. No sauces, gravy, saladressing so seasoning and if she eats shrimp cocktail its dipped in ketchup! DH does really encourage good eating habitys in our family because he struggled not only with the pickyness but more so weeight issues. He does blame MIL for not making him try veggies, or insisting on fruits but instead saying its ok to eat only pizza or breaded chicken fingers and why not let him have poptarts for breakfast or pudding because she didnt want to foirce him and well he couldnt go hungry. Now when MIL comes to eat, we really dont like to make meals because the hwole time its I dont like this or that, no one is happy with a balanced meal. This is why I really try to not give in to my kids wants and go by their needs when it comes to food. If that means they have nights they arent happy and dont eat enough, its fine. AS per my ped. my kids may be small(underweight as am I) but food doesnt need to be a fight, you get a good healthy meal and that is how it goes(for MY family.) I am in school to be a nutritionist and I hope to help familes who are like my DHs as well as others who have medical issues that diet can help.

 

[Planogirl]

I always let my son eat pretty much whatever he wanted to while on vacation. I did the same. Luckily, he always liked some healthy foods but I wasn't going to teach him to eat things he disliked while on vacation.

I do however agree that it's good to try new things though. If he or I disliked it, we could always grab a bite to eat later on.

 

[nkereina]

I don't have a kid so I can't speak to much of this, but I'm 25 and a pretty picky eater by adult standards. I blame my parents mostly for this because I was never exposed to things as a child. I was an only child and my parents both worked full time so when my parents cooked, which was once a week maybe, it was something quick and easy and cheap. Otherwise we'd go out and I'd order off a kids menu which is the foods that have been listed in this thread. Having steak for the first time at age 21 is a sign of lack of exposure to different foods I'd reckon. But I'm not unhealthy and not afraid to try different foods - I just straight up don't like the taste of A LOT of foods. Why would I go to Red Lobster and get the salmon when I can get the shrimp pasta that I know I like? Just saying. Also, I think the kids food menus are the way they are because those foods are cheap, easy to make into small portions, and parents know that lots of kids eat half the food on the plate and these foods have low prices so its a wash. If you could get a steak for $1 I'd bet you'd start seeing those on kids menus too!

 

[photobob]

So there is one thread complaining about other peoples kids being picky eaters and another thread complaining about other people taking home leftovers from a restaurant. REALLY!??! What is wrong with you people. Is your life so pathetic that you must watch everyone else? Sounds like my mother in-law!!

 

[OrlandoHelp]

So there is one thread complaining about other peoples kids being picky eaters and another thread complaining about other people taking home leftovers from a restaurant. REALLY!??! What is wrong with you people. Is your life so pathetic that you must watch everyone else? Sounds like my mother in-law!!

This cracked me up!

 

[twinboysmom]

So there is one thread complaining about other peoples kids being picky eaters and another thread complaining about other people taking home leftovers from a restaurant. REALLY!??! What is wrong with you people. Is your life so pathetic that you must watch everyone else? Sounds like my mother in-law!!

I agree, LOL! Honestly, who cares! It must be a boring day on the Dis.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

You know, I don't really care if people let their kids be picky. The only time I really roll my eyes at it is when I read things here like, "My husband really really really is dying to try Biergarten but I'm worried my picky 8 year old won't eat anything there, so I'm not making ADRs."

When you allow a picky child to influence restaurant decisions for the whole family, that's just wrong.

I can agree with that. Per tradition, the only time we let a kid dictate is on their birthday. They pick the meal or restaurant (depending on our budget--but I usually for for eating out).

I similar thread sparked this one. And I think the point of the whole discussion.

The points stated indicate that it is a lot more than simply what the above poster has stated.

I have a picky eater--but we don't let him dictate. However, I did feel compelled to respond originally b/c I once naively believed that it must be in the parenting. Until I had a child that was raised the same way as his older siblings, but struggles with food.

Tonight he didn't eat his dinner. No biggie. Just means he has to catch up on his veggies tomorrow. I didn't let him dictate what he would eat. But he isn't going to starve and we won't force feed him. If he is hungry enough, he will eat the food he does tolerate on his plate and we get him to try no thank you bites of a potentially offensive item that is on his "I don't like it even though I've never tried it list".

Dinner was chicken (not nuggets), sweet potato waffle fries and green beans. Yes, I realize there is a "fry" in there--but we did bake it and we as a family, except my son, like sweet potato fries. He gave one look and decided it didn't interest him. He still had to sit and wait and he had to not throw a temper tantrum about it. The latter, we "trained" out of him last year over the course of 3 months. (He used to FREAK when an offensive food item was on his plate.)

Now me--for Disney, I will go and scout out menus if I am concerned, but I don't do that anymore. I do recall once upon a time many moons ago, for the same son--we had called WDW dine as we were in MK, and needed mac and cheese. It was an even pickier phase of his, and we are guilty of scouting it out. Now he is almost four and we wouldn't consider going to that extreme at all.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Wow are you judgemental!!!! I am guessing your post is directed at me since I posted this question yesterday. Guess what, - although I guess I should not feel like I need to justify myself to you - we have tried very very hard to get our kids to eat many things. Two of my children do ok, eat tons of fruit and some vegetables, but do not eat pasta and rarely chicken. One of my children is very very picky. Oh and her favorite food - that she eats two a day? Green apples. Not junk, however sitting down at a disney restaurant and asking for a green apple isn't going to happen. You actually feel the need to "Vent" over someone else's question? Really? I think it is only appropriate to vent over some issue you yourself are having. I am a veteran on here and have been a regular poster for years and this is the first time I have ever truly been insulted. Yes, I am mad in case you are wondering. It is posts like yours that make people feel like the don't have the freedom to discuss issues they are having in case they might be "judged". Whether or not you choose to believe it - children are born with personalities and their own tastes. Or and my daughter who has this challenge does also happen to have a learning disability, but I do not think this affects the way she eats. I do not believe we have "created" her problem any more than we "created" her learning disability. Judge least you be judged. I hope you never have any issues with your children that you cannot "force" them to change. Wow - you truly may have ruined the boards for me.

 

[DCDisney]

My oldest child has physical issues that made it difficult to chew and sensory issues and we battled through without making junky kids foods his staples. For years he lived on frozen broccoli, unsweetened applesauce, unsweetened yogurt, whole wheat toast, cheese, canned pears and peaches, etc. We just did not offer the junky stuff regularly because I knew of other kids who would only eat fries, burgers, or nuggets. I never got desperate because he'd always drink milk so I knew he wouldn't starve. In speech therapy they tried to use candy with him and it never worked because he was used to eating healthy foods. My second child had no issues--just too smart for her own good and she was picky from infancy and would only eat the sweeter baby foods but we still persisted and despite her growing much more slowly she has gotten much better. She'd like to eat sweets 24/7 but she learned to eat healthy stuff as she just wasn't offered much else. Both my kids didn't like meat (older one couldn't really chew it) until they were about 8 so WDW trips got tough when they changed the menu's because there were so few fruits and veggies offered that they were used to eating (not canned green beans!). We mostly hit buffets for awhile so they could have their fill of fruit and whatever else we could fill in with. QS was really hard though because almost everything was meat or mac and cheese which they didn't have a taste for. As long as kids are meat eaters the TS menus now are mostly decently diverse with a grilled item, pasta or pizza, and something the place serves to adults. I wish more fruit and fresh veggies were offered not just apples, grapes, and carrots and canned green beans. For parents who opt to feed their kids very specific meals they desire at home like just nuggets or hot dogs it seems like they'd be used to dealing with many situations where they have to go out of their way to get those foods and wouldn't complain that every place doesn't serve it. Even once you accidently get backed into a corner and a kid gets obsessed with a food there are ways to gradually back out of it. Once we got my kids to eat chicken with the nuggets we rapidly switched to strips of chicken breast coated in whole wheat bread crumbs to look like nuggets and then to plain chicken and then to chicken cooked like we ate it. Only took a few days. Did the same with ground beef started with a taco since it smelled like a corn chip my son liked and then over a few days switched the meat around to the point he accepted it as something he could eat. It takes a little thought and patience but it can be done even with kids with medical issues. Even at 11 and 13 we atill have weird food things that come up like my daughter picking celery out of her beef veggie soup tonight even though it really had no taste or texture she just didn't want it because it was green

 

[Ava]

You don't end up with a preschooler who will only eat pizza, breaded chicken, and hot dogs by feeding a balanced, healthy diet on a day-to-day basis with those things in their proper place as a rare treat. You might still end up with a picky preschooler who will only eat bananas, mashed potatoes, rice and soft-cooked carrots (food list taken directly from a friend's child who is 4 and being evaluated for autism) or one like my middle child who for the longest time would eat all sorts of raw veggies but very few cooked or my youngest who won't eat most breaded foods, but kids-menu picky comes from a diet where kids-menu items are familiar choices and allowed to become favorites.

Who decided that pizza, chicken nuggets, hot dogs and mac 'n cheese are "kid foods" anyway?

 

[skitt]

Posts by adult picky eaters bother me a lot more. I was kind of picky as a kid (afraid to eaten certain foods) but I made a conscious decision as an adult to get over it, and I've done really well and now eat a very adventurous diet. Pickiness is definitely a pet peeve, and the last thing I wanted was a child who is a picky eater. So I made sure not to give DD3 those "kid foods" and guess what? She won't eat pizza, most mac n cheese, any sauce but soy sauce, no melted cheese, hot dogs, hamburgers... My son is 11 months and will eat anything I give him (and to try and prevent more picky eating, I give him everything!) and has never refused anything! Believe me, becoming a parent has taught me how dominant nature is over nurture. I force her to take a bite of whatever the rest of us are eating about half the time, and it's always a battle and hasn't led to much progress. I am worried about what my daughter is going to eat at Disney. Restaurants should be okay because I can usually get steamed broccoli, bread, plain rice, noodles, that kind of thing. It's the counter services I'm dreading. She *might* eat tiny bites of chicken nuggets, and she *might* be willing to eat mac and cheese, but I think mainly she'll be eating the grapes and carrot sticks that come with the kids meal and whatever fruit we can get from fruit stands.

Now the parents I see at Disney giving their *babies* coke and ice cream, that really makes me see red.

 

[MistressMerryweather]

"Picky eater" is very legitimate. Everyone has their own palate and tastes. Some have sensory and texture issues that dictate their eating habits...however, if you have a child that is a picky eater and will only eat pizza and mac and cheese, it's because they were trained that way. If you didn't give them those things, they would be picky over other options. The green apple kid is prime example(I have a green apple kid, too ). Even a autistic child or a child with sensory issues will choose favorites out of what they are given, with the exception of extreme cases. We eat very healthy in or home and kid "junk food" isn't something that we eat very much of. Even so, my "picky" one went on an applesauce, yogurt and avocado binge when she was 2. At least it was healthy. LOL My 7yo, I wouldn't call picky. He is a bland eater, though. He'll eat anything as long as it's fairly bland and not from lack of trying. He'll try anything, more than once even. The funniest thing is that he is crazy for things like vegetarian spring rolls, chinese chicken, stuff like that. We rarely eat take-out, but he loves it. He thinks O'hana is the greatest restaurant on the earth. So funny what people like.

 

[khgreen]

I try very hard to not be judgmental.

I think it's interesting to consider....My father would have been 76 this year. He was a picky eater as a child. His family was poor. They didn't have enough to eat and he was picky. Apparently grandma used all sorts of "potions" to get him to eat....all to no avail.

I was a picky eater but I don't recall it at all. My mom Just told me a few years ago. These days there isn't much I won't eat.

My kids are very picky. I don't worry about it. They won't eat the following: burgers, hot dogs, nuggets, pb&j, pizza, meat of any kind, mac-n-cheese, most cakes and cookies and well just about anything on a kids menu. This isn't because we are health nuts. They just don't like those foods.

 

[ppony]

It's a shame that some people feel the need to judge other parents when they don't fully understand all the issues. You are right, it isn't "all in the parenting". My husband, myself and daughter will eat almost anything. My 15 year old son has been a selective eater since he was 1 years old. We offered him everything and he would literally only eat 3 things. Over the years, we have taken him to many Doctors and therapists. In Boston, he was diagnosed with a "selective eating disorder". It has to do with sensory issues. For those of you dealing with similiar issues, there is tons of information on the internet. Duke University is doing a lot of research with this disorder. I know there will be many "haters" who will not be able to understand all of this, but hopefully it will be helpful to those with children who actually may be struggling with true sensory issues as opposed to just those "picky eaters".

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40357712/ns/health-diet_and_nutrition/

I'm with ya!

Until I had them "picky eaters" I didn't understand either. Being in the situation and knowing what you have perosnally done makes you reassess your original assumptions. One of my kids is autistic and that's a whole serious issue unto itself. One of the few proteins he currently eats is nuts. Well, you can imagine how well that will go down when he hits school if that doesn't change. Our pediatrician said she is constantly writing notes to school saying some of these kids NEED nuts as part of their basic nutrition, and they can't be kept from eating them. Our oldest, used to eat just about anything we'd give him as a little guy. Granted, we don't eat a huge variety in the house but it's by far, not pizza, hamburgers and fries all the time. Somewhere long the line, I can't even tell you when, the pickiness started and amped up. We still make him try everything though, it's a house rule. He's found himself liking many things, and some, not so much
My kids' pediatrician said it's quite common for kids to be like that. It doesn't mean we don't continue to do what we know we need to do though. And to put things into a little perspective, one of the chefs on "Top Chef" a few weeks ago said she ate nothing but mac and cheese for most of her adolescence. And there she is, a chef w/ wide variety of tastes. All is not lost on the picky ones.
Back to the menu issue. How we handle lack of kids menu variety is simple, we order an adult entree. Sure it costs more but that's that. Everyone is happy and fed.

*Oh I should add, we never do the dining plan or any free dining, partially for this very reason. We want our CHOICES for everyone in our party. No restrictions.

 

[bluejasmine]

I try very hard to not be judgmental.

I think it's interesting to consider....My father would have been 76 this year. He was a picky eater as a child. His family was poor. They didn't have enough to eat and he was picky. Apparently grandma used all sorts of "potions" to get him to eat....all to no avail.

I was a picky eater but I don't recall it at all. My mom Just told me a few years ago. These days there isn't much I won't eat.

My kids are very picky. I don't worry about it. They won't eat the following: burgers, hot dogs, nuggets, pb&j, pizza, meat of any kind, mac-n-cheese, most cakes and cookies and well just about anything on a kids menu. This isn't because we are health nuts. They just don't like those foods.

I think thats amazing! IS that how you eat as well? Im wondering if alot of kids eating habits come from us as parents? Maybe not each child is different.

 

[pigletto]

Wow are you judgemental!!!! I am guessing your post is directed at me since I posted this question yesterday. Guess what, - although I guess I should not feel like I need to justify myself to you - we have tried very very hard to get our kids to eat many things. Two of my children do ok, eat tons of fruit and some vegetables, but do not eat pasta and rarely chicken. One of my children is very very picky. Oh and her favorite food - that she eats two a day? Green apples. Not junk, however sitting down at a disney restaurant and asking for a green apple isn't going to happen. You actually feel the need to "Vent" over someone else's question? Really? I think it is only appropriate to vent over some issue you yourself are having. I am a veteran on here and have been a regular poster for years and this is the first time I have ever truly been insulted. Yes, I am mad in case you are wondering. It is posts like yours that make people feel like the don't have the freedom to discuss issues they are having in case they might be "judged". Whether or not you choose to believe it - children are born with personalities and their own tastes. Or and my daughter who has this challenge does also happen to have a learning disability, but I do not think this affects the way she eats. I do not believe we have "created" her problem any more than we "created" her learning disability. Judge least you be judged. I hope you never have any issues with your children that you cannot "force" them to change. Wow - you truly may have ruined the boards for me.

Please don't let one extremley judgemental person who clearly has too much time on their hands ruin the boards for you.
I could go on all day about sensory issues, my parenting perspective, what I think of picky/vs. force feeding, adult control issues, nutrition e.t.c e.t.c . However several well informed posters have done a better job than I could and bottom line, the post was designed to get a reaction and some pats on the back

Trust me, if I'm sitting next to you I'm not looking at your kids plates because it's none of my business.. and I am certainly not going to judge you or your parenting on a message board.

Stay and enjoy everything else the board has to offer

 

[PatsMom]

Posts by adult picky eaters bother me a lot more. I was kind of picky as a kid (afraid to eaten certain foods) but I made a conscious decision as an adult to get over it, and I've done really well and now eat a very adventurous diet. Pickiness is definitely a pet peeve, and the last thing I wanted was a child who is a picky eater. So I made sure not to give DD3 those "kid foods" and guess what? She won't eat pizza, most mac n cheese, any sauce but soy sauce, no melted cheese, hot dogs, hamburgers... My son is 11 months and will eat anything I give him (and to try and prevent more picky eating, I give him everything!) and has never refused anything! Believe me, becoming a parent has taught me how dominant nature is over nurture. I force her to take a bite of whatever the rest of us are eating about half the time, and it's always a battle and hasn't led to much progress. I am worried about what my daughter is going to eat at Disney. Restaurants should be okay because I can usually get steamed broccoli, bread, plain rice, noodles, that kind of thing. It's the counter services I'm dreading. She *might* eat tiny bites of chicken nuggets, and she *might* be willing to eat mac and cheese, but I think mainly she'll be eating the grapes and carrot sticks that come with the kids meal and whatever fruit we can get from fruit stands.

Now the parents I see at Disney giving their *babies* coke and ice cream, that really makes me see red.

Why is it picky eating when the child in question only wants the traditional kids foods but not when the child refuses to eat those same foods? Either way you have a child that excludes foods from their diet.

 

[hannahryan]

Hannahryan, thank you so much for this article. I'm 28 years old and have always been called an extremely "picky eater" for as far back as I can remember. I'm not talking about the typical adult or child with a few foods they dislike. When I clicked the link you provided and saw the title about "still eating like a kid," I was astonished.

It's not about being bratty or stubborn; there is definitely a psychological component for those who experience sensory issues. Of course, there are children and adults who are picky eaters because they don't "feel like" having this or that to eat. But for some, it's different and it's not easily explained. A lot of people don't understand that.

Personally, I've never whined, fussed or caused a commotion about the way I eat (usually other people are astonished when they find out and point me out to others). I usually go with the flow when it comes to eating at restaurants with my family (i.e. parents, sister, DH); if they want to go to a particular restaurant, I'll work my eating habits around that. My family and DH have long since accepted the way I am and just let me be myself instead of insisting I try something wherever we go. They've learned that I will try things when I'm ready (some OK, some not so OK).

I always figured it was just me and that I'm weird, but reading the article actually comforted me in knowing that I'm not the only one. I'm not looking for a "cure" or a pill or anything. Learning that there are others who live in a similar fashion causes me to believe it's more than just coincidence.

If a child doesn't want to eat certain foods, it very well could be just a phase (or their rebellious side) that you do need to curtail, but there really could be something more going on. My parents tried the "then you'll have to go to bed hungry" and I lost weight because despite being hungry, I couldn't physically bring myself to eat many things that people don't give a second thought.

Thank you again for the article.

You are most welcome!! Your words have me sitting here in tears. I'm so happy that this article has brought some clarity & comfort for you. I know many people just feel it is so black & white with food, but unless you are in the situation or have a child in this situation you just can't comprehend it. I also want you to know that there is help if you'd like to explore it. Food therapy can be very successful in slowly helping to introduce certain foods. My niece's fiance who is 37 years old, likes almost identical foods as my son. He has been going to food therapy for several years and has been able to expand his diet a little.

I'm happy that your family is so accepting of you and I wish you the very best. Sharon

 

[Moira222]

What is wrong with you people. Is your life so pathetic that you must watch everyone else? Sounds like my mother in-law!!

I have to ask -- picky eater or just healthy eater? really! I have often been frustrated at restaurants whose "kids selections" consist of pure crap. If I am at a steak house, I expect steak on the kids menu, just smaller portions. If I am at a seafood place, let's see some fish (no fish sticks don't count!) or some shrimp.

My DD LOVES most of the foods that we eat, minus some of the seasonings. I am "fortunate" that she *will* eat the nuggets but really if you give her a choice between a piece of steak & broccoli or nuggets & fries, she is going for the steak & broccoli. I am going to try this trip to push my luck when it comes to ordering from the "kids" menus and try asking for more variety if its not offered -- we are using the DDP but I am hoping to let her enjoy the same variety that DH & I will enjoy.

 

[PatsMom]

I have to ask -- picky eater or just healthy eater? really! I have often been frustrated at restaurants whose "kids selections" consist of pure crap. If I am at a steak house, I expect steak on the kids menu, just smaller portions. If I am at a seafood place, let's see some fish (no fish sticks don't count!) or some shrimp.

My DD LOVES most of the foods that we eat, minus some of the seasonings. I am "fortunate" that she *will* eat the nuggets but really if you give her a choice between a piece of steak & broccoli or nuggets & fries, she is going for the steak & broccoli. I am going to try this trip to push my luck when it comes to ordering from the "kids" menus and try asking for more variety if its not offered -- we are using the DDP but I am hoping to let her enjoy the same variety that DH & I will enjoy.

You can always share with her. Portions at many restaurants are quite large. Before you make your ADR's, you might try reading the children's menu's. Many of the table service restaurants have children's meals that are quite good. Le Cellier has steak on the children's menu. Narcoosees has filet mignon on the children's menu. The Brown Derby also comes to mind has having great children's choices. On the dining plan, i don't think you will get them to substitute a smaller portion of an adult meal for a child's meal. But I do know they will bring an extra plate so you can share with no problem.