Picky eater vent

[Colleen27]

I couldn't agree more. I'm not talking about kids with honest-to-God sensory issues, and I know there are many of those out there. But for a lot of kids, picky is a learned behaviour!

You don't end up with a preschooler who will only eat pizza, breaded chicken, and hot dogs by feeding a balanced, healthy diet on a day-to-day basis with those things in their proper place as a rare treat. You might still end up with a picky preschooler who will only eat bananas, mashed potatoes, rice and soft-cooked carrots (food list taken directly from a friend's child who is 4 and being evaluated for autism) or one like my middle child who for the longest time would eat all sorts of raw veggies but very few cooked or my youngest who won't eat most breaded foods, but kids-menu picky comes from a diet where kids-menu items are familiar choices and allowed to become favorites.

 

[Becky2005]

Eh, I'm a picky adult, so is my DH but about different things. I think it's more of we are "plain" eaters than picky. I always look at the menu and if there is not something there I like, we don't go. Not that difficult.

The funniest thing is, yes, my kids are picky but they are picky about totally different things that I won't touch. Buffets are great for that, they CAN try new foods without a big issue if they don't like it.

I never forced them to eat things because frankly as an adult I would hate it if someone tried to force feed me a food I wasn't too fond of & the end result may not be pretty. That's why I'm on the fence of 50's Primetime...the thought of them attempting to shove food down my throat that I don't like is not very appealing.

You will never find DH & Myself at Albert & Victoria's but that's just fine with us, have no desire to even consider complaining about it so others can't enjoy it.

 

[3Minnies1Mickey]

I feel that there are different "levels" of picky eaters.

First, you have those who have a medical reason. It might be allergies, autism, sensory disorders, or whatever. I don't think most people would blame these children or their families for them being picky eaters.

Second, there are those who just, for whatever reason, don't like many foods. I have known people like this. They do try new things, but something is wired in them and they just don't like it. They have a limited diet and usually HATE it.

Finally, you have those who are picky eaters because they have been catered to. These kids do exist and sadly is that most people think about when they think "picky eaters". I had a cousin like this. His mother catered to his every whim and made him whatever he wanted. We would go to my grandmothers at Christmas and she would make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and he would eat that with some jello (green stuff). Since he has moved out of the house he has widened his food choices... but when he was home he wasn't made to try anything new.

I also know someone else who can be a picky eater and, in her case, it was also a parental issue. However, this was done because of something they had called "no thank you helpings". They were made to eat a full serving of foods even if they hated them. When they left home, they rebelled by becoming a picky eater. They refused to try anything new and only ate the "staples" of stuff like plain rice, grilled cheese, spaghetti, ect.

ITA!!! Well said.

DS10 is a VERY picky eater and DS12 not so much. For the record, they've been raised exactly the same.

First, I learned a long time ago, PICK YOUR BATTLES. I'm not arguing with DS10 over what he'll eat and what he won't. I'm not forcing him to eat anything. I've realized over time, he'll try things when he's ready.

Second, it's nobody's business what he'll eat and how we handle it.

I definitely pick my battles with the kids and food too. But I wouldn't not go to a particular restaurant because they didn't serve junk food for the kids.

That said, it blows my mind when someone sees one of my kids eating plain steamed veggies, salad, steak or fish and comments on them being an adventurous eater and then says they wish their child was that way. There is nothing adventurous about those things and our kids are that way because we made them that way just like you made/allowed your kid picky.

My kids are the same way. DD(9) was looking at WDW menus with me and we decided against a few places since they only served nuggets, pizza or meaty macaroni. I told her I wasn't going to make her eat meaty macaroni for 2 weeks so we looked at other options. She's excited about having steak at Le Cellier and salmon at Artist Point. Plus shrimp at Teppan Edo and crab legs at Cape May. All 4 of my kids love salad and broccoli from the time they were old enough to chew it. I laughed one year when I asked one of my girls what they wanted for their "birthday dinner" and she responded: chicken, rice and broccoli!

I couldn't agree more. I'm not talking about kids with honest-to-God sensory issues, and I know there are many of those out there. But for a lot of kids, picky is a learned behaviour!

You don't end up with a preschooler who will only eat pizza, breaded chicken, and hot dogs by feeding a balanced, healthy diet on a day-to-day basis with those things in their proper place as a rare treat. You might still end up with a picky preschooler who will only eat bananas, mashed potatoes, rice and soft-cooked carrots (food list taken directly from a friend's child who is 4 and being evaluated for autism) or one like my middle child who for the longest time would eat all sorts of raw veggies but very few cooked or my youngest who won't eat most breaded foods, but kids-menu picky comes from a diet where kids-menu items are familiar choices and allowed to become favorites.

 

[Arkansan]

I think some of the limits of the children's menus are because too many adults would order the food! Disney isn't stupid. They want the most $$ from us--if adults don't like the kid's options, then they have no choice but to order the more expensive entrees for themselves.

This is why my family hasn't done a Disney dining plan. We order what we want and pay for what we want. My DD ordered a side order for her entree at Le Cellier. She didn't want the kid's meal options or the regular menu. Her brother and sister were jealous when her food came!

 

[TheRustyScupper]

1) For picky-eating kids if they don't eat, they don't eat. *
2) Eventually they will get hungry enough to eat what is placed in front of them.
3) There are too many condescending parents these days.
4) Sorry, but parenting carries responsibilities and duties.
5) Including
. . . teaching kids to experience different foods
. . . teaching kids to behave in public
. . . teaching kids to do schoolwork (at school and at home)

* For other than medical reasons.

 

[acpalmer]

My kids simply will not eat most of what is on the average child's menu so we have started ordering an adult entree for them to split.

I am honestly not trying to be argumentative, but isn't this a picky eater, too? If there are foods that any person, adult or kid, "simply will not eat" isn't this being picky about that food? I don't think picky eaters are confined to kids who only want chicken nuggets. If they only want steak or lobster or whatever, that seems picky as well, doesn't it?

If my kid simply won't eat seafood and yours simply won't eat chicken nuggets or hot dogs, what exactly is the difference?

 

[NMAmy]

or one like my middle child who for the longest time would eat all sorts of raw veggies but very few cooked or my youngest who won't eat most breaded foods, but kids-menu picky comes from a diet where kids-menu items are familiar choices and allowed to become favorites.

That sounds like dd. When she was under the age of 5, she really wouldn't eat any cooked veggies so I just kept a few out for her and let her eat everything raw. She wouldn't even eat french fries. And since she didn't have any kind of breaded/fried food at home, she didn't want to eat that in restaurants either. Of course, I encouraged that kind of pickiness but once she got into high school, she discovered the joys of fast food. She also eats cooked vegetables along with her salads because I kept offering them to her.

OP--I do agree with your post and do tend to roll my eyes a bit when I read threads with ultra picky kids or adults. If a kid will only eat pizza, chicken nuggets and french fries then that's because the parent has allowed that to happen. I think all kids can have a tendency to be picky at times but if they haven't been given pizza, chicken nuggets and fries to begin with, then they might be picky in a healthier way.

 

[Becky2005]

I am honestly not trying to be argumentative, but isn't this a picky eater, too? If there are foods that any person, adult or kid, "simply will not eat" isn't this being picky about that food? I don't think picky eaters are confined to kids who only want chicken nuggets. If they only want steak or lobster or whatever, that seems picky as well, doesn't it?

If my kid simply won't eat seafood and yours simply won't eat chicken nuggets or hot dogs, what exactly is the difference?

That's why I put on mine, that I'm not really sure I would call it picky.

Since in my family -- we ALL are picky BUT never about the same things. So, I'm not really sure what you call that but I consider it all "picky".

I think it really should be more a vent about what is on the kid's menu not really picky eaters.

Not only that but there WERE things my kids did eat and have shifted to the point of they don't like those foods anymore.

 

[quest4dl]

I have to agree with an earlier poster that's more than a coincidence that most 'picky eaters' will eat the same foods of nuggets, mac and cheese, and pizza. It does seem that for many kids, it is learned behaviour and they are not being exposed to a large variety of foods at home. By all means, please don't start the experiments at Disney! I'm not opposed to having those items on the menu but more variety at a reasonable price needs to be offered for the kids who do eat most foods.

When my kids were younger, we would order appetizers for them so they could at least eat real food but at a portion more suited to them. I wish restaurants would offer half-portions to kids and seniors.

 

[MSLRAC]

I am honestly not trying to be argumentative, but isn't this a picky eater, too? If there are foods that any person, adult or kid, "simply will not eat" isn't this being picky about that food? I don't think picky eaters are confined to kids who only want chicken nuggets. If they only want steak or lobster or whatever, that seems picky as well, doesn't it?

If my kid simply won't eat seafood and yours simply won't eat chicken nuggets or hot dogs, what exactly is the difference?

Poor choice of words on my part...my children simply choose not to eat kiddie type food if given other options. My kids will eat nuggets, mac & cheese, hot dogs, burgers, etc if they have no other choice but they prefer to eat grilled chicken, veggies, salads, steak, fish, etc.

 

[Becky2005]

I wish restaurants would offer half-portions to kids and seniors.

This won't happen at WDW with the dining plan. There menus were different for the ages but once the dining plan took over, kids are 3-9 period.

Now other places in the REAL world it can happen but you would have to be willing to go off-site, etc... for it.

I happened to go the year it all changed and my DD who the week before we went on our trip would have been a child at the character meals, became an adult price then. I do think it does go back to $$ for Disney.

Although, really if you have a picky eater or are a picky eater, you already know this, so you work around it. It's NOT that complicated for just general pickiness. As my stand-by, if nothing else "there is always bread & water". I would think dealing with an allergy would be 1,000 worse than just general pickiness. It's not life or death in our situation but it could be with an allergy. Maybe I'm missing something or maybe I have just had to deal with it all my life so no big deal to me. That is the wonderful thing about having the menus posted for WDW.

 

[MusiqChic99]

When I was younger I was a picky eater. My sister was not. Both of my parents were not picky either. My mom cooked all our meals and she made a variety of foods. My mom always said it never paid to take me to a buffet because all I ever ate was a salad anyway and maybe a roll with butter. I hated buffet food.

Now as an adult, I am a VERY adventurous eater. In fact I've been craving sushi and can't wait until the next time I'm in the city to eat it. I would have never ate anything like that before. My DH and my son are adventurous eaters too. My son is 4. I hate the limited choices for him because I know he will eat so much more but I deal with what is provided.

I don't think it's all up to parenting though because we all know that a lot of families have more then 1 child and often times they are VERY different from each other. My mom never let me starve but she kept things on hand for me if she was having something she knew I didn't like. No it wasn't anything special so she didn't go out of her way to make me something different....example being, they had meatloaf, I had chicken noodle soup or a peanut butter sandwich.

My mom always said "I as an adult get to choose what i eat and i choose not to eat something I dont like, therefore, I will not force my children to eat food they don't like." Was she wrong? I dont know. But seeing how I "out grew" my picky eating habits...Id say it probably doesn't matter!

 

[Saylan]

While I agree with the majority of comments, one thing I wanted to point out that I learned after I grew up is that sometimes what might seem as being picky (and I mean picky in the sense of 'not wanting to eat something'), is misunderstood. My Aunt as a child was 'picky' and didn't like eating fish. Her parents did the tough love of eat it or go hungry so she eventually would make herself eat it. Fast forward to adulthood, turns out she has a mild allergy to fish. not enough for hives, swelling, or the normal reactions, but enough that she didn't like the taste or how it made her feel.

I don't eat fish. I've tried it a few different ways and a few different times, but armed with my Aunt's story, my parents were careful about their 'tough love' options.

 

[JimmyV]

...it's nobody's business what he'll eat and how we handle it.

First and foremost, THIS.

That said, I think there is a difference between being a picky eater and a "kid food only" eater. Everyone is "picky" to some degree. Some just more than others and its nobody's business what they like or don't like. But kids who zip their mouths shut at the sight of anything other than nuggets, hot dogs and mac-n-cheese are exibiting a learned behavior. I would imagine that picky eaters exist in every culture. Not every person is going to love every fruit or every vegetable. But of the 5+ billion people in the world, don't people find it odd that the U.S., with a population of 300 million, is the only country where kids won't eat anything other than "kid food"? Do you think kids in Senegal, Paraguay and Italy throw tantrums if they aren't given nuggets or hot dogs? Of course not. They never get a chance to learn that behavior. Are some kids in those countries picky? I would imagine so. But I guarantee that their picky-ness does not result in a subculture that provides fast food kid options at every turn. I really do wish that children's menus mirrored adult menus, with "kid foods" available upon request, as opposed to the other way around.

 

[Colleen27]

I am honestly not trying to be argumentative, but isn't this a picky eater, too? If there are foods that any person, adult or kid, "simply will not eat" isn't this being picky about that food? I don't think picky eaters are confined to kids who only want chicken nuggets. If they only want steak or lobster or whatever, that seems picky as well, doesn't it?

If my kid simply won't eat seafood and yours simply won't eat chicken nuggets or hot dogs, what exactly is the difference?

I think the main difference, at least in my mind, is that there's no harm done if a kid won't eat chicken nuggets or hot dogs but there's a lot of potential for harm if a child is allowed to get away with only eating those things.

I think everyone has some degree of picky as part of their general food preferences (myself included - I love a wide variety of foods but have an aversion to on-the-bone meats). But it crosses over from normal to problematic when the list of "approved" foods is much shorter than the list of "refused" foods, or when everything on the "approved" list is junk food like nuggets and hot dogs.

 

[brergnat]

I just feel the need to point something out.

I have TWO picky eaters. Both are on the Autism spectrum. They are picky in different ways. One of them practically lives on Mac and Cheese. The other one, on chicken nuggets and hamburgers. The one who likes Mac and Cheese will NOT eat nuggets or burgers. The other one will NOT eat pasta, including mac and cheese.

It's not fun, especially in restaurants.

The reason why so many 'picky eaters' will eat standard "kids food" is that, at some point, parents become so desperate to find a food, ANY food, that their child will put in his/her mouth, that they resort to the kids foods. Once parents find a food their child will tolerate, it becomes a "staple". Believe me, most parents don't start their babies/toddlers off eating pizza, nuggets, hot dogs, and hamburgers.

I will say this: my older son with autism NEVER wanted to eat as a baby. He was dangerously underweight as an infant. He wouldn't eat anything...he'd spit out baby food, homemade or otherwise, if it had any texture or lumps. He ate stage 2 baby food until he was almost three years old. The day he happily ate a jar of BABY FOOD mac and cheese, I almost cried from happiness. I began making homemade mac and cheese, with whole wheat pasta and cheddar cheese, and pureeing it with a hand blender with some milk. THIS is what he ate to gain weight. Ever since then, he has loved mac and cheese. In addition, he loves raw veggies, salad, pasta. But he HATES meats...all of them, except ground turkey tacos. Since ground turkey is the only meat he will eat, we eat a lot of tacos in our house. However, it's a case of, once you find a food that your child will eat, you feed them that food because sometimes, it is the ONLY thing they will eat.

You can't force a child to do two things: Eat and potty train. As parents, it is our job to OFFER a healthy diet, and ENCOURAGE trying new things, but you simply cannot force a child to eat. There are MANY picky eaters out there that will simply choose to not eat rather than try something they find offensive. My two kids are like that.

OP, be grateful that you don't have picky eaters. You have no idea how difficult it is. Medical or not, there is an underlying reason for ALL forms of picky eating. It's usually not the parent's fault.

My father was SUPER picky as a toddler/young child. Apparently, he went through a phase where he would only eat tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. This lasted for two years, then he moved on to PB&J. This was back in the 50's...turns out, we're pretty sure he has Aspergers syndrome, which explains the picky eating, among other things. Today, my dad will eat anything that's not moving anymore.

 

[Becky2005]

Fast forward to adulthood, turns out she has a mild allergy to fish. not enough for hives, swelling, or the normal reactions, but enough that she didn't like the taste or how it made her feel.

I've heard this before, so I don't push it. I have one child that does NOT like peanut butter. Doesn't like peanut butter flavored anything either. As far as I know he's not allergic to it & we don't watch labels, so it's not like he hasn't eaten things that have been around peanuts but I always wonder if there might be a slight food aversion, not really allergy but he always has tended to steer clear of things that have peanut/peanut butter in it & if it's a candy he hasn't had before has been known to ask me "Is there any peanut butter in this?" before he even attempts to eat it. He is the only one of of my 4 though that LOVES soup! He also likes fish.

I have another one that LOVES Peanut Butter though -- so I have these night & day type of kids with their food issues.

Halloween is great though -- the kids just trade candy around for those who like this but don't like that. My one son tends to get all the peanut butter candies, my dd all the mint candies, my other son all the sour type candies and my little guy pretty much takes the licorice/fruit snacky types.

I'm like one of the PP mom's -- as an adult I get to choose what I'm going to eat and I won't force the kids to eat things they don't like either. I will offer them different foods but I'm not going to force it. I really don't care what other people think about what I'm feeding my kids...it's food.

 

[TN Hockey Mom]

1) For picky-eating kids if they don't eat, they don't eat. *
2) Eventually they will get hungry enough to eat what is placed in front of them.
3) There are too many condescending parents these days.
4) Sorry, but parenting carries responsibilities and duties.
5) Including
. . . teaching kids to experience different foods
. . . teaching kids to behave in public
. . . teaching kids to do schoolwork (at school and at home)

* For other than medical reasons.

1) I'm not going to let my child go hungry just because he doesn't like what the rest of us are eating. I don't arrange my meals around him but he's welcome to fix himself something different.
2) How much do you want to bet?
3) To each their own. I'm not judging.
4) Parenting does come with responsibilities & duties....
5) Seriously, you think it's a parental responsibility & duty to teach kids to experience different foods. I'm pretty sure the only responsibility & duty is to make sure they're fed and don't starve. I'll offer different foods but I'm not forcing him to eat them. I couldn't care less if DS10 ate the same thing at every meal as long as he's happy & healthy-which he is.

 

[xipetotec]

Ok Im getting tired of hearing about kids that are picky eaters. How the parents say that thier children will only eat chicken nuggets, pizza, hot dogs, & mac and cheese and how picky they are. Well stop feeding them those things.

Then these parents get upset that the TS of thier choice does not have those foods for thier children. So then these parents go and try to find another TS that will have the foods that their children will eat.

Im gratefull that some of the TS reasturants dont offer the standard kids fare. Have your child try new things. Stop getting upset that the menus dont have those items. Have them try new things. EPCOT world showcase dining is wonderful-expose them to diffrent foods.

Vent over

Totally agree. YOU are the parent. My youngest IS a picky eater, but you know what? We make him try things, and we've been to many different restaurants at Disney and away from Disney and he's still not starved yet. In fact, his palate has expanded as a result. One of his favorites now is the Germany pavillion.. granted what he likes is the schnitzel ( which is pretty much a giant chicken nugget ), but he also LOVES indian curries... so go figure...

 

[Malefi_Stitch]

It's a shame that some people feel the need to judge other parents when they don't fully understand all the issues. You are right, it isn't "all in the parenting". My husband, myself and daughter will eat almost anything. My 15 year old son has been a selective eater since he was 1 years old. We offered him everything and he would literally only eat 3 things. Over the years, we have taken him to many Doctors and therapists. In Boston, he was diagnosed with a "selective eating disorder". It has to do with sensory issues. For those of you dealing with similiar issues, there is tons of information on the internet. Duke University is doing a lot of research with this disorder. I know there will be many "haters" who will not be able to understand all of this, but hopefully it will be helpful to those with children who actually may be struggling with true sensory issues as opposed to just those "picky eaters".

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40357712/ns/health-diet_and_nutrition/

Hannahryan, thank you so much for this article. I'm 28 years old and have always been called an extremely "picky eater" for as far back as I can remember. I'm not talking about the typical adult or child with a few foods they dislike. When I clicked the link you provided and saw the title about "still eating like a kid," I was astonished.

It's not about being bratty or stubborn; there is definitely a psychological component for those who experience sensory issues. Of course, there are children and adults who are picky eaters because they don't "feel like" having this or that to eat. But for some, it's different and it's not easily explained. A lot of people don't understand that.

Personally, I've never whined, fussed or caused a commotion about the way I eat (usually other people are astonished when they find out and point me out to others). I usually go with the flow when it comes to eating at restaurants with my family (i.e. parents, sister, DH); if they want to go to a particular restaurant, I'll work my eating habits around that. My family and DH have long since accepted the way I am and just let me be myself instead of insisting I try something wherever we go. They've learned that I will try things when I'm ready (some OK, some not so OK).

I always figured it was just me and that I'm weird, but reading the article actually comforted me in knowing that I'm not the only one. I'm not looking for a "cure" or a pill or anything. Learning that there are others who live in a similar fashion causes me to believe it's more than just coincidence.

If a child doesn't want to eat certain foods, it very well could be just a phase (or their rebellious side) that you do need to curtail, but there really could be something more going on. My parents tried the "then you'll have to go to bed hungry" and I lost weight because despite being hungry, I couldn't physically bring myself to eat many things that people don't give a second thought.

Thank you again for the article.