People Who Won't Let You Off The Phone?

[AKL_Megs]

Okay, so I don't know how to handle this situation with my MIL.

Here is the problem... she will just NOT let you off of the phone when you talk to her.

The other night, DH and I were getting ready to go out to a Christmas party. We were already running late, but DH was talking to her while I changed and he straightened up the house. I was right in the middle of doing my hair when DH handed me the phone and said that she had a real quick story to tell me, and needless to say, one "quick" story turned into FIVE looong stories. I had to tell her THREE times that I had to get ready to go before she finally stopped talking and let me go.

Last night, she FINALLY called to tell me what she wants for Christmas sad2. I was literally in the middle of baking four batches of Christmas cookies, so I once again told her to make it quick, that I had to go. Once again, after telling her FIVE times that I had to go, she stopped talking.

She will be like, "Okay, I know you have to go, but first, let me tell you this..."



How do you handle people like this? I just figured I would stop calling or answering, but the last time I did that, it started a huge issue because I was "ignoring" her.

 

[mjkacmom]

Caller ID is your friend - I love my SIL, but there are times (like 5 minutes before picking the kids up from school) when I let her leave a message. I've also called my home phone with my cellphone, and stated I really had to take that call (child'd teacher calling...). Actually, DH is hard, but we're close enough that I can say "I'm hanging up the phone now - goodbye!"

 

[anniemae]

I agree with caller ID..........best thing we ever did.

 

[AlexWyattMommy]

Uhm, how about "I got to go now, bye" and just hang up?

I would only use that when I really did have to go, like the cookies going to burn or need to get out of the house at a certain time.

She can NOT make you stay on the phone if you really don't want to be there.

Thankfully I don't have anyone like that in my life. I guess it could get ugly if she cops and attitude because you "hung up" on her. So you have to decide what you want to deal with - burnt cookies or snotitude for awhile. But that is only if she is that kind of person. I don't know her. You do.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do about it.

 

[mickeymedic]

Could you put her on speaker phone? At least then you would have your hands free to do your hair or bake cookies or whatever else you were trying to accomplish. It sounds like she's doing most of the talking anyway. So you could still move about freely and just walk by the handset every once in a while to add an "uh huh".

 

[Where'sPiglet?]

Is she calling your cell phone?

I have very bad reception in my apartment. It cuts out all the time. I don't hang up on people, but my phone often does....it has gotten me out of a few long winded conversations before.

You might have some spotty service in your new house.

 

[minkydog]

IMO, this is a problem of your own making. You tell you you have to go but she knows you don't *really* have to go because she knows all she has to do is keep talking and you'll stay on the line. You're telling her 5 times you gotta go? How bout telling her one time and then hang up. "Sorry to cut you off, Mom, but I have to go NOW." click...

I know I sound like a hard***, but my mother is the Master of "Just One More Thing." I learned a long time ago to tell her right up front if I have something going on and I offer to call her back. I give her a heads up when I have to go and then I hang up the phone. There was a time when I wasn't willing to do that and she walked all over me. It wasn't unusual for me to be on the phone with her for 2 hours! My husband would ask me what we talked about and honestly? I couldn't tell you. My mother never shuts up!

It won't be easy and she might have her feelings hurt, but if you really want to stop this you have to do it. One thing that helped with my mom was to give her a specific time when *you* will call her back about XYZ. Then make the time to do it. Set a kitchen timer. Tell her UP FRONT that you have ___ minutes before you have to leave. Give her a 2 minute warning when the time draws near and REFUSE TO GO OVER IT! You can either retain control of your calls or you can give it to her. As Dr. Phil says, "How's that workin' for ya?"

 

[MizTink]

my dad is one of those people! my battery dies, or i lose signal, unexpectedly all the time!!!! he always complains that me and my sister have cheap phones and bad service because it happens so much!!!! poor daddy!

 

[chloelovesdisney]

We have caller ID. If a big talker calls while I am getting ready or working on something, I don't answer.

She sounds like she might just be lonely, although some people are just non stop talkers even with someone around all the time.

 

[ma2jr]

I tell them to please hold that I have another call coming in, hit the hold button, go back and say I really have to take the other call.

 

[crz4mm2]

Oops. Phone battery must have died

 

[happygirl]

The bad thing about caller Id is you have to listen to the phone ring and ring.


I just say gotta go bye and hang up before they can say anything else

 

[spacemermaid]

Caller ID is your friend.

If it's someone I *have to* talk to eventually (ie: can't just perpetually leave the problem to caller ID), and they keep going on, and on, and on, I tell them I'm having a "bathroom emergency" & HAVE TO get off the phone. Seriously, no one DARES to question a "bathroom emergency".

 

[C.Ann]

All in one breath - with absolutely NO pausing at all:

"Okay I really have to go now I'll call you back later when I can chat bye" - CLICK..

 

[Where'sPiglet?]

Caller ID is your friend.

If it's someone I *have to* talk to eventually (ie: can't just perpetually leave the problem to caller ID), and they keep going on, and on, and on, I tell them I'm having a "bathroom emergency" & HAVE TO get off the phone. Seriously, no one DARES to question a "bathroom emergency".

So...what will you say when they bring up all your emergencies and ask if you've seen a doctor yet?

 

[chloelovesdisney]

The bad thing about caller Id is you have to listen to the phone ring and ring.


I just say gotta go bye and hang up before they can say anything else

Our phones are set to ring 4 times, then the machine picks up.

 

[ilovepcot]

I use the old "oops...battery is going" with one particular caller and I actually close the phone gently.

 

[wdwtweets]

I agree with a number of these posts. 1. Don't answer the phone when you are busy. Let the person who's calling leave a message. 2. Return the call when you have time to talk. Problem solved?

 

[spacemermaid]

So...what will you say when they bring up all your emergencies and ask if you've seen a doctor yet?

Well, in my case, actually having stomach problems...if they're really that nosy, I'll tell them...and they never ask again!

 

[MIGrandma]

Thankfully I have no one like that to ever deal with.

I am not a phone person. I hate talking on the phone.

My DD is also not a phone person so we chat a lot via Facebook.

I much prefer that, or e-mail. Unfortunately my Mom has not gotten the hint that I prefer that to the phone and she still calls once in awhile, but doesn't talk very long, and even then sometimes I let her leave a message on the answering machine. I'm bad, I know.

But to answer the OP, they can only keep you on the phone if you allow it. Be firm and when you say "I have to go", mean it and follow through with hanging up.