my dh and I are in a profession where relatives want to use our "services" for free - so the only time we hear from them is when they need something in that arena. I'll never forget one time dh's cousin called on dh's bday - dh thought he was calling to wish him a happy bday - nope, no mention of that, had a question instead. needless to say when I get messages from relatives to call them back, I wait awhile - usually wait long enough that by the time I call back, they resolved it - but I still look like the good guy - the "oh, I wish I could have helped you" from me!