Passive Aggressive Crap

[Boxley]

I am so sick of this!

I was sent to another city for work, fortunately this is close to my family and so I have been staying with my grandmother, my aunt, her kids and their kids. So, it is packed. I am barely there because of work. I leave early and come home late.

I came home one afternoon to see a take out box. I noticed writing on it so I read it and it said "This is (my aunt's name)! Stay away, especially you, (my name)" Here is the thing, I don't eat their food at all. How could I? I am barely there!I also buy my own food and yet I don't say anything when they eat anything.When I come home, I usually am in my room and trying to sleep. I also offer them things all of the time and so I don't see where they would get the impression that I eat their food. I am so sick of the little crap they do around the house. My aunt and her kids take advantage of my grandmother but then again they snap at my other relatives for the same things they also are doing. I give whatever little bit of money I can give but I am so glad when this job is over so I can go back. I don't want to fight when them because I am trying to stay away from the drama that is always at that house but then again I am trying to fight the urge to take a pen and write something bad on that box.

 

[bumbershoot]

Either you'll have to ignore it or have a conversation about it.

Is it possible that someone else in the household is eating her food, and blaming you?

Is it possible it's some sort of weird joke, but you're tired from working so hard and are taking it wrong?

You say it's not possible for you to have eaten their food, but you were in the fridge at least the once to see that box, so it's not impossible... I would have a conversation with them, even if you have to call them on your lunch break.

 

[disykat]

I'm guessing someone is using you as a scapegoat. I'd be tempted to ask her if there'd been a misunderstanding and tell her you're confused because you would NEVER eat her food. If she wants to fling crap around it doesn't mean you have to stand still to be the target.

 

[Cornhusk]

Either you'll have to ignore it or have a conversation about it.

Is it possible that someone else in the household is eating her food, and blaming you?

Is it possible it's some sort of weird joke, but you're tired from working so hard and are taking it wrong?

You say it's not possible for you to have eaten their food, but you were in the fridge at least the once to see that box, so it's not impossible... I would have a conversation with them, even if you have to call them on your lunch break.

The OP said that she bought food for herself so probably she was getting some of her meals. I think that the OP should talk it out and even point out that the she has her own food and mention how many people are at the house so it is hard to pin down who is eating what.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

Are you perhaps a scapegoat? Are people maybe blaming missing food on you since you are the “new person.” I agree with the others, talk to your family and find out what is going on.

 

[sunnyday123]

I'd eat half of whatever it was, whether I like it or not. Then I would put post-it's on everything that was mine, including toothpaste and toilet paper, asking them to not eat or use it.

But I don't think that would help. Make you feel better yes, but help no. Ask her what makes her think you're eating her food.

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Now the meaning of the old saying will make sense:

"You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family"


If you can, just move out.

if you can't move out, then get something you can't finish in one meal, like some fried chicken.

Then when everyone is there, make a point of licking each piece and put it back in the container, then put it in the fridge.

if they ask, tell them you do that will all the food you come into contact with.

I bet there are no more notes..or food left in the fridge!

 

[bumbershoot]

The OP said that she bought food for herself so probably she was getting some of her meals.

Oh yeah, I get that.

But "How could I? I am barely there!" isn't going to be a good argument, since the chance for pilfering was indeed there, as she was in the fridge at least once.

If the family is silly enough to believe that a hard-working person like this is just stealing their food, they would glom on (OK that phrase sounds better than it looks) to that argument and wouldn't let go. So I'd come at it from a different angle (looks at all of MY food, that I am eating).

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

so any update on the situation?

 

[Wishing on a star]

Sorry, but it is their home... you have no 'rights'.

Honestly, from the way you describe the situation in this household, I would never even choose to impose...

You are the newcomer/outsider in a seemingly stressed household.
And, you are being treated as such.

I would never even begin to engage in immature passive aggressive battles with these people.

You posted:

I am so sick of this!

You can easily solve the problem by making arrangements for your own accommodations.

 

[klacey1]

I would call your aunt out on the situation and point out that you never eat any of their food. Say that you found what she wrote not funny and pointed. Don't make a big deal out of it, but make your point.

 

[kirbsam]

posting about it on a web forum seems kind of passive aggressive also.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

My DH has stayed with people before on work assingments. One was my dad and step-mom (oy!) and the other is a friend from College and his prior company.

All rules are set before hand.

In his current arrangement with the friend, my DH has his own shelves in the fridge and in the pantry.

He is the only one there, so if something is missing--easy to figure out who took it.

But the key is--all arrangements were made in advance. All communication is direct and not passive agressive.

I'm assuming hte takeout container does not belong to the homeowner. I'd be almost inclined to just let it go. Joke or fallguy--I'm not sure how much longer you have in this arrangement. But sometimes, it is just best to just ignore it.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

posting about it on a web forum seems kind of passive aggressive also.

Only if Auntie, the take out queen is a disboard member who would see this post.

Otherwise--it is just a vent.

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Only if Auntie, the take out queen is a disboard member who would see this post.

Otherwise--it is just a vent.

I thought that was a given!

 

[Aisling]

What's wrong with being passive-aggressive?

Some people are passive.
Some people are aggressive.
Some people are passive-aggressive.

I'm tired of people giving passive-aggressiveness a bad name.

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

What's wrong with being passive-aggressive?

Some people are passive.
Some people are aggressive.
Some people are passive-aggressive.

I'm tired of people giving passive-aggressiveness a bad name.

You could be right...then again, maybe not!

 

[goofyernmost]

Personally I would have just left a note saying...I have never touched any of your food. Better start looking for someone else to blame!