Party Times - Is it common for family to show up earlier?

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

I don't mind my family - and one SIL - they show up early to chat and help. I also don't mind so much when the party is at home...and I have a heads up to EXPECT them...I don't care so much if they are early as long as I know when they are coming.

One time though - my baby shower was at a local restaurant in their banquet room - MIL shows up 25 minutes early as we are still setting up - plunks herself down at the bar with no intention of helping and asked surprised "where is everyone!?" I am thinking "gee, I don't know...doesn't everyone show up 25 minutes early?" That's my MIL!!!!

 

[NMAmy]

My family arrives at all different times. My mom and my sister are usually early--my nephew and his wife are ALWAYS late by a couple of hours. I'm always early because they all live down near Detroit and I try to compensate for traffic problems and always end up early.

One time, I felt bad about arriving early to my niece's house--she has 3 kids--so we went and did a bit of shopping. When I showed up on time--she yelled at me when I came in the house. Apparently, she'd been counting on me amusing the kids while she got ready and I'd ruined her master plan.

So, we're all used to each other and don't really have a problem with anyone arriving early, on time, or late. We're just happy to get the chance to see each other. I lived a long way from family for 15 years--it's made us all appreciate each other more.

 

[Trish5768]

My family will show up at my door days early and expect to be fed. But, its things like this that make me love them more. (someone has too, right)

 

[Seahag]

On (only)their invitations, set the time for 4:30 instead of 2:30 - that way when they show up "early" at 3:30, everyone will be happy!!!!

OR

you could just answer the door, look at them with a puzzled face & ask "didn't your invitation say 2:30?" And then stare at your watch.
LOL Then, leave your husband to deal with them & continue getting ready.

 

[DVC Sadie]

Be grateful that your dh's family is still alive and wants to spend time with all of you. It could be so much worse. I have seen people who would give anything to have their in laws accept them, let alone care enough to come to a party and early to boot.

 

[disykat]

Would it work if you said something like "we have plans before the party, so why don't you plan on arriving right at 2:30 and then staying after the party so we can have a longer visit?"

 

[pearlieq]

My mom does this. It honestly irritates me more than anything. I'm trying to get things done in that last critical 15 minutes before the party starts, and she comes and demands attention. She only lives 10 minutes away from me, so it's not like she misjudged how long it would take to get here. It just becomes one more thing to juggle as I'm icing the drinks and putting the appetizers in the over and all.

 

[malibuconlee]

I totally understand how it is to feel like you're always ranting about relatives. Been there.

I had the opposite problem. We planned an outing to a baseball game. Hadn't thought about asking DH's older sister and her family, but on Friday night my MIL calls saying she had invited the other sister and her husband along. Not a really big deal, but we had gotten free tickets from DH's office, and luckily I think we would have had enough (they were ticket book type good for GA to any home game - hey it's a minor league).

I had already bought all the food, and there would be plenty, so not that big of a deal.

Come Sunday it's raining and DMIL decides that since it's raining she's going to stay home and no one is coming up for the game. So all of this food goes to waste!!!

They could have come anyway, I had the food, we could have hung out and played games. DH called back and suggested that. Well she didn't "feel" like leaving the house.

GRRR!!

Same thing happened when we were supposed to have a hay ride. It rained, and instead of hanging out together inside she just cancelled it.

But these are the same people who pulled a camper 90 miles and showed up on our doorstep out of the blue to spend the weekend in town with us.

I don't get it.

Feel free to vent away. I agree with the others, they probably come early because they don't get to see you as often and want to make the most out of the drive. Start putting them to work when they get there, or send them out to do something with the kids so you can have some peace and quiet to finish getting ready for the party.

It is nice to have an extra person who's free to make that last minute run to the store for anything you've forgotten.

ETA - That rainy day? We went to the game by ourselves because it cleared off and was a great day!!