Party Question

[PollyannaMom]

DH has asked me a party etiquette question (though I am even less social than he is ) and Googling only made me more confused.

This:
was near the bottom of an invitation.

The event is for New Year's Eve, and begins at 7pm.

What exactly does it mean / what is he supposed to bring?

 

[starry_solo]

To me, shared plates are like appetizers. But I think the invitation means that it’s a dinner potluck and to bring food that can be shared by at least two people.

 

[tcufrog]

I would ask the host.

 

[NYCgrrl]

I’m getting the same interpretation as starry solo but tcfrog has the ultimate response. Sounds like someone is hosting for the first time

 

[TheOneWithTheTriplets]

Sounds like the person should have been more specific on the invite!

I'd guess they'll have snacks, would appreciate if folks wanted to bring potluck style options, but also eat before you go because probably not a true meal being served unless lots of potluck shows up.

 

[Skippy918]

That’s confusing. They should have just stated “Potluck. Bring something to share”

 

[TheIncredibles!]

If this were at a restaurant I would think they were providing appetizers and were maybe encouraging people to purchase whatever else they wanted to eat that could be shareable? It's odd wording.

If this is a party at their house this is REALLY odd wording...

 

[china mom]

I think that it means that they don't want to do dishes (or don't have enough) so you put an hor D'oeuvres on your plate, eat it and then pas the plate to another guest to use

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I think they're saying that they will provide appetizers, but they would also like people to bring more to supplement what they have. By saying "encouraged" they mean that bringing food is not required, but appreciated. So you can show up empty-handed or you can bring something to share. Personally, I would bring some kind of finger food like meat, cheese and crackers, spinach dip and bread, etc. Those items don't need to stay hot and don't need heating or preparation when you arrive.

 

[dvcgirl67]

Hmmm....thinking what everyone else is thinking, something everyone can share. I'm with Luv Bunnies, bring a cheese and charcuterie board. Or, around here in NJ, an "antipasto"....which would be cheeses, meat, roasted red pepper, marinated artichokes and olives. Bruchetta is another go to for this kind of thing.

 

[HeatherC]

It means bring an app to share if you want.

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

Gosh….I feel dumb because I didn’t get the idea I was supposed to bring something from that wording. That’s very confusing and I would be perplexed by the invite. At that point I would just call and ask. I don’t think the host is going to get what they want because I don’t think guests will have a clue.

 

[GAN]

Yeah …I think possibly only the hosts know what they’re talking about

 

[disneychrista]

Maybe they literally want you to share plates to save on dishes/trash.

 

[Imzadi]

Gosh….I feel dumb because I didn’t get the idea I was supposed to bring something from that wording. That’s very confusing and I would be perplexed by the invite. At that point I would just call and ask. I don’t think the host is going to get what they want because I don’t think guests will have a clue.

Me too. I thought maybe the host doesn't have enough ceramic plates for everyone to have their own. So, if you come as a couple, plan on sharing one plate between the two of you.

 

[HopperFan]

- Host providing appetizers, Guests are to bring sharable entree items (pot luck).
- Host providing appetizers, Guests are to share the appetizers on one plate.
- Host providing appetizers, Guests are to bring more appetizers that can be shared.
- Host providing appetizers, Guests are to guess what the Host wants beyond that.

To OP, neither you or DH should feel less social ~ instead the Host in their attempt to maybe be fancy has completely dropped the ball on letting their guests know what to bring.

[Personally feel encouraged is a word that mostly should be banned.]

 

[Wendy31]

Gosh….I feel dumb because I didn’t get the idea I was supposed to bring something from that wording. That’s very confusing and I would be perplexed by the invite. At that point I would just call and ask. I don’t think the host is going to get what they want because I don’t think guests will have a clue.

I also didn’t necessarily get that the “shared plates are encouraged” mean that this event is a potluck affair.

For one thing, the invitation looks too formal to me for someone to think that it means “Hey, this is a potluck party, & we’re supposed to bring a dish to share!” “Potluck Party” just doesn’t go w/ the level of the more formal font of the invitation, in my opinion - but I suppose it could be someone trying to be fancy in their wording.

My initial thought, upon 1st reading it, is that appetizers will be provided.

And the “shared plates are encouraged” could possibly mean that invited couples are supposed to share a plate as they graze together on the provided appetizers.

Like, for instance, on some restaurant menus, there might be a note about sharing not being allowed or that there is a surcharge for sharing of plates.

And, on this particular invitation, the event organizer is saying, “We actually want & encourage our guests to share their plates.”

If the event organizer wanted to the invitees to bring something to share, I’m thinking the wording would be a little different - please bring a DISH to share instead of the word PLATE. To me, PLATE signifies one plating/one serving while DISH indicates a food item plentiful to serve more than 1-2 people, if that makes sense.

 

[TiggerTrigger]

I’ve seen similar wording for a few gatherings and the expectations were potluck style entrees from guests.

 

[Magical2017]

I'd take it as they will provide apps and I should bring a dish, but I could be reading that incorrectly. I think it is up to the host to be clear if guests are expected to provide anything. It if is a potluck, then say so.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

You don’t bring anything. It means there will be hor d’oeurves available as well as “shareable food” — something being offered family style/tapas/mezze/dim sum — and they encourage you to join in and “break bread” with others.

Certainly, I could be wrong about this, but I’m feeling about 95% confident here.