Party Issues

[gillenkl]

My DD invited all the girls in her class (9) to a Tinkerbelle movie party tomorrow night. Only 1 child has rsvp'd. Several have told her they "might" come. I do not have any phone numbers or contact info for parents as our school doesn't give this out.

Two other children told my daughter they are coming an hour late I don't even know how to handle this as the invitation stated a start time and time to pickup the child - based on starting the movie at a certain time. If I start the movie an hour late - my party will run an hour later and this throws off everything. DH says too bad - we will start the party as planned and if they miss it too bad because showing up an hour late is rude - especially since they haven't even rsvpd in the first place. If the parents had rsvp'd I could have tried to work something out with the times and have the other parents pickup their kids later. But no communication....

I was going to buy special dessert treats, etc... but now I don't even know how many to provide for so I guess I will just do some homemade things. I found some Tinkerbelle party ideas on disboards last week so that will save me some $$$.

I do not understand the lack of rsvp'ing by people.

 

[gillenkl]

So, do I start the party on time - or an hour late?

 

[ShiPooOwner]

So, do I start the party on time - or an hour late?

I agree with your DH. Start it on time.

 

[gopack]

I would start the party on time. I don't know why people do not RSVP anymore. I bet your daughter is excited! Have a great time.

 

[Pixiedust34]

It's a shame people don't RSVP anymore. Unfortunately, it's a common problem.

I'd start the movie on time. Why rearrange the party just in case someone might come late? The parents didn't contact you or RSVP, so I'd feel no obligation to change the timeframe of the party for a guest who might not even come due to lack of a parent RSVP. If someone does come late, they can join in mid-movie if necessary.

I agree about the homemade treats because otherwise it's hard to know how much food to have if you don't know how many guests you'll get.

The Tink themed party sounds like it'll be fun!

 

[NYCDiane]

I just can't believe the rudeness of people that they don't even have the decency to RSVP on a party invitation or have the nerve to say they'll be an hour late to a movie party.

I would start the party on time --- you stated the start/finish time on the invitation. Why should you have to change anything for a handful of rude people???

 

[disney67]

I agree start the movie on time . We just had molly's birthday party at a place and we had phone numbers and people always come late and i agree it is just not nice at all when you are doing something nice and people cannot also give a straight ansawer. Good luck and also thanks for an great idea

 

[tinkarooni]

Is this the new "in thing" to not RSVP to a party? Somebody had another thread on here a few days ago about the same thing and I can tell you we just had a huge Halloween party that my kids invited about 35 to from school. At first we got one RSVP, geez, what's easier and more fun than a Halloween party, you don't need to bring anything or even buy a gift. In the end I told my kids to tell the children that if they were coming their moms had better call, I don't accept any of this "Johnny says he coming".

In the end we had 23 or so come.

In answer to your question, I would start the movie on time and proceed as planned. Don't worry you'll probably get a couple more, and some rude ones who just show up. I can't believe how rude people are these days.

 

[gillenkl]

Thanks so much - I will start the movie on time, unless I get some rsvp's in the meatime

 

[dancin'girl]

We get this every year for my kids' birthday parties. Nobody calls!
I switched to "regrets only", but that doesn't elicit calls either. I can always count on one grandma to call for her granddaughter, and that's about it! Maybe we get a response because it's the grandma that calls? Different generation?

 

[msmayor]

Have you stopped to consider that the lack of RSVP's may be due to the fact that the child hasn't passed the invitation on to Mom or Dad?

If invitations are given out in school because you don't know phone numbers or addresses, there's a good chance that the invitation gets tossed in the book bag or backpack after the child has seen it, never to be removed again and forgotten. If the child never gives it to Mom or Dad to see, they may not know about the party and the RSVP needed.

I realize that schools are not going to give out addresses and phone numbers. But there's nothing wrong with your child asking their friends for at least an address so the invitation can be mailed, and you can have reasonable assurance that a parent will see it. With the address, you may also have an easier time finding the phone number so you can call and follow up.

I'll be honest: I was never a fan of the "class invitation" for just this reason...too hard to get an accurate count, and you really do end up inviting kids "just because"...because you can't NOT invite everyone when handing out invitations in school.

 

[pjlla]

DD had an 8th grade graduation party this past June. She handed out almost 50 invitations at school. Accounting for the kids who lost the invitations, the kids who are just too "cool" for a party, and the kids who were attending another party the same day, I still figured I would end up with about 20-ish kids. I got exactly 3 RSVPs!!! And of those three, DD ended up with about 7 girls at the party. That was fine, since they were mostly her closer friends.... but I ended up buying enough food/drink/ice cream etc for about 40, since I NEVER had ANY idea of how many kids might actually show up!!

DD wasn't disappointed at the turn out.... they had a great time. But I was SO frustrated at the amount of CRAP I had leftover (food that doesn't keep well, soda we don't drink, etc). I sent lots of food home with the girls that actually came.

People have NO manners any more!.....................P

 

[squirrlygirl]

Am I the one that RSVP'd? DD (7) is going to a tinker bell movie party tomorrow night.. If so, remember, you called me to RSVP the night before my daughter's party, so there's still time for calls to come in

Seriously, though, it's for this reason that I'll now only allow the kids to invite people we know and have numbers/emails for. It's stressful to try to plan for the unknown!

 

[Disneychix]

That is rather annoying. I'm glad you decided to go with showing the movie at the original intended time.
At least you can say that maybe the invitations didn't make it to the parents as one PP said. It's worse when it's family or adult friends that don't RSVP!

 

[mom2d&b]

I agree with everyone else, start on time. The lack of RSVP's create a huge issue here too. DD10 is having a sleepover party on Saturday. Of the 12 girls invited we are still waiting on RSVP's from 5 girls. I do know 2 of the 5 will not be attending but not because either of them choose to tell me. I know because I have heard about their weekend plans from others. One thing I have done to make the RSVP even easier is to provide both a phone number and an email address to use to RSVP. Most have opted to use the email. Only 1 Mom called.

 

[PixiePlanner]

I have to admit, I had two invites in my purse that I needed to RSVP on when I read that other thread last week. I thought to myself, "OMG, I am going to be one of those mothers!" and promptly picked up the phone and called both and apologized for not calling sooner. I had no excuse except that I am a busy working mom and had just plain forgot. Yes, my mother had raised me better than that and I usually RSVP immediately. However, if I hadn't remembered to RSVP, DD wouldn't have gone. I can't imagine bringing her when I hadn't said she was coming. I also can't imagine going an hour late to a movie party.

I have held bridal and baby showers for my SIL. Both times, a cousin of the groom/dad, didn't RSVP. She is a Senior VP at a local business. She has to reply to meeting invites all the time. Didn't reply to me. The baby shower was a sit-down meal I served at my house...

 

[mrudman]

Similar thing is happening to me right now... I'm holding my very first "friends" b-day party for dd's, and very few people have rsvp'd... I specifically wrote in on the invitation to please call/e-mail either way so we'd have a proper head count. (doing an ice skating party, so the # of kids is needed to figure out the price, pizza, etc.)

Wrote to rsvp by this Saturday, so granted, they still have 2 days left to do so, but would think if somebody wrote that on an rsvp, I'd call sooner, lol.

Have had 5 people out of 20 call or e-mail me so far.

 

[ceecee]

I agree with your DH. Start it on time.

Same here...start it as planned. There was just a thread on this very subject last week and it seems most people don't rsvp, so we usually just do parties with friends that she plays with a lot. At least then you know the number if they don't RSVP!

 

[EthansMom]

Start the party on time. If possible, send in reminder notes to be handed out to the invitees.

I no longer invite kids unless I have their parents' phone number and/or email address ahead of time. Our school publishes a directory of students so it's mostly done, but I've been known to ask people for their contact info. prior to sending out invites, if I don't already have it.

ETA: Can't tell you the number of times I've called the parents to check on the RSVP status and had them say, "Oh, yeah, I completely forgot about that invitation!" Basically, the invitation gets thrown in a pile and never seen again.

 

[Crystal0608]

Aw, a Tink movie party sounds like fun! My dd had one a couple years ago. I hate when someone doesn't RSVP, messes everything up for the party planner (us moms).