Part 2, the BAD part of Easter

[MICKEY88]

Originally posted by KimRaye
My 1st part (the GOOD part) was the $20,000 for 11 people to go to WDW thread...now, the bad part.

dH has probably had his last supper with my family and, is NOT included in that 11 people going to WDW.

I don't even know how to explain but, my Mom got SOOOOOOOOOO irritated by him tonight that, she got right in his face and, told him ........well, she told him what to NEVER EVER do again in her house. Basically, she was mild, given what I know about how she feels about him and, I SAW it coming AND, her words would've been mine, as soon as we got in the van to leave but, she beat me to it. Sooo, I don't really have a problem with what was said but, I KNOW dh is gonna make someone/everyone suffer for this. I have tried and tried, over the past several years to get a message through his head and, he just wouldn't listen. Now, he's one step from being unwelcome which, imo, he may as well be. It's not pretty when you show up at Mom's unwelcome.

I have not posted about past troubles with my dh before due to many reasons but, I really am seeking some advice now. Future holidays and BD's at my parents will be very hard to explain to my DD when her Dad doesn't (can't) come with.

I'm not angry with my Mom for saying what she did but, it has now brought this issue (and others) to the forefront and, I just don't know how to handle it. It'll be like being divorced but, dh will be at home.

right now. TIA

first...I'm sorry you're going thru this...

I agree with the others who believe holidays should be spent with your hubby, if you don't believe holidays should be spent as husband wife and children, then why be married,
if he has done something so awful to warrant not being with his children for holidays,,then it would seem a divorce would make sense to me..

 

[poohandwendy]

My thoughts exactly Mickey88. I just think the message to the kids seems confusing. Dad is good enough to live with us, but not good enough to share the holidays with us? If his behavior is so outrageous that he needs to be completely kept away from your family, is he really a good influence the rest of the year?

 

[Winka]

Based on the responses, I think everyone has their assumptions about what the "problem" is...I'm going to go ahead and assume it is NOT just a conflict of personalities. If that was the case, then I'd agree with some and say, if conflcts can't be reconciled with your extended family, your immediate family may have to come first.

But from what you've said, I'm assuming that you feel it's something that DH himself must resolve? That the entire family has been patient enough but are no longer able to tolerate his issues?

I agree with other posters...behaviour that cannot be tolerated at family gatherings...how *IS* his behaviour at home and the rest of the year?

Whatever the problem, there is still time before Thanksgiving, Christmas....hopefully an answer and resolution will reveal itself...best of luck.

 

[disykat]

My dh's family doesn't like me. We spend holidays and family occasions with our own family and even occasionally with mine (who welcome him). DH and the kids visit with his family at other times.

Frankly, I can't see our marriage lasting if dh were to choose to spend holidays with his parents over me.

 

[Patabel]

No comments, Kim, just lots of {{{{hugs}}}}.

Pat