Parents Who Drink Alcohol While Taking Their Kids Trick or Treating...

[smidgy]

Hubby thinks all the defensiveness on this Thread is derived from guilt from people maybe second guessing what they were doing last night??? He said he enjoyed taking the kids ToT'ing (safely) and then enjoyed his beer in the spa after they went to bed.[/QUOTE if someone defends their viewpoint, and it differs from yours, it is only from your point of view that it sounds "guilty".



QUOTE=pansmermaidzlagoon;34169580]OP - I wonder about this too. Seeing more and more of it.

Call me a prude, but DH and I don't see the need to grab a beer during child centered events...but that's just us.

Then again, I grew up with a dad who had to grab a beer at every opportunity and some of our relatives turn every event into a drink fest so we have chosen no alcohol at family and child centered events in our home. I have vowed my DD will not have the upbringing I did.

I totally understand that someone having a beer/drink Doesn't mean they will abuse it, but I still do not see the need to mix drinking and kids events - JMHO

I'm sorry for how you were brought up.being raised in an alcoholic family, of course you can't understand about "normal" social drinking. you had nothing to compare it to except "over indulgence". there is a great group called Adult Children of Alcoholics. however, that doesn't apply here.

And who gets to make the decision of when the "right" time is to drink?

I personally have been served alcohol during children's holidays, especially at parties and in public. I find it perfectly acceptable as long as you are not drunk or impaired. If you don't want And 1 drink per hour for most people does not cause impairment. If you don't want to see alcohol where there are children, don't hang out with our adult behaved crowd.

I will even go as far as saying, following in French heritage, my children have been offered wine at dinner, at home, long before the legal drinking age. My oldest, now of drinking age, was not scarred by this. In fact, having a drink is so passe that he shakes his head at all his college classmates that are going wild because they are now of "legal" age.

We chose to set a good example of responsible drinking.

As long as the group you are with all find it acceptable, others can keep the judgemental crap to themselves.

I am not second guessing myself at all. I am perfectly ok with having a drink or two while the kids were trick or treating.

I am perfectly ok with having a drink at last week's birthday party.

I am perfectly ok with having a drink at the Friday Night sportngs practices with all the other parents. Yes, it is an every Friday night organized event.

Me thinks you are the one protesting too much

oh, and my "group" that was imbibing included several physicians including a well known surgeon, several lawyers including a us attorney general, and a few others with incomes in the 7 figure range - certainly not "rednecks".

when my boys grew up, playing soccer ,baseball, etc. we were a tight knit group of parents, VERY concerned about out kids. most of us were very dedicted to our children's well being... hence... we dedicated most of our free time to our childrens' extra curricular activities. when we weren't voluntering at PTO, school improvement committees, market day, coaching, etc, we were attending the events the other parents were volunteering for.

yes, at soccer tournaments, there was adult "imbibing". sheesh! you know, in any school group, church group. sports group, neighborhood group... 20% of the parents do 100% of the work!!(probably closer to 10%)
and you begrudge these hard-working volunteers a little relaxaton?

be thankful for the parents spending time with their kids, taking them out trick or treating, instead of sending them out carte blanche! it is these involved parents who need to be applauded. if they have a little fun in the meantime, give them a break.

 

[mom2d&b]

We too live in a gated community and we "encourage" residents to offer adult treats. I got the idea from my sister in MI and when we were a brand new neighborhood I introduced this to my street. We have 113 homes. Those offering adult treats are to identify themselves by putting a colored light in a garage coach light. This has actually been a great thing for us. It encourage more parents to be out, thus we do not have the older kids misbehaving as there are so many adults around, and it provides an opportunity to meet neighbors you normally do not see. Our street is always the busiest as the other streets know we do this. Yes, there are some residents who do not agree with the event but it is their option to not participate. At our house we usually offer jello shots, but this year we moved the kegorator to the garage and poured beers.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I am a bit late to this party--but here goes my 2 cents anyway

It would have never occurred to me to notice what anyone was drinking unless:
1. I was jealous (which for me means they had a coke)
2. They were behaving inappropriately (and I thought to see if htey might be drunk as opposed to just a generic idiot).

I see nothing wrong with any adult having a drink or two anywhere it is legal and agree with many others that drinking responsiblyin front of the kids is a good way to teach them responsibility and remove the mysterious fascination from alcohol. I have never really understood the point behind open container laws (otehr than in cars, boats, etc.) and am glad I now live where that is a non issue.

I cannot fathom why events which involve both adults and children would ever be consider "for the kids" or "for the adults." If adults and kids aare both expected to be there can't it just be an activity for everyone? If you feel Halloween is jsut for the kids then does that mean you do not want adults to go out with the kids?

OP, you say in teh first post that the drinking parents "weren't even trying to hide it," but later you say the parents are teaching the kids to be "sneaky" and hide their law breaking I am genuinely confused here. If the parents were driking openly how is that being sneaky?
My kids have not been taught to blindly follow all laws. They have been taught to only break them for good reason ("I want to" is not a good reason) but they get that not all laws are good laws (BTW we have not broken laws on moral grounds but have protested them-won't way which as it is against board guidelines, but for example the kids know that Rosa Parks and MLK broke laws which were bad laws in order to make a point and they are heroes partly because of their law breaking). Even on minor grounds I guess we have broken some laws knowingly and been okay with that. Specifically I am thinking that in New Hampshire we did serve the kids small glasses of champaigne at a NYE wedding held at our home. Technically that was illegal in NH (even served by parents at home). I was not sneaky about it--there was a police officer at the wedding; he had no issue with that at all.

I have to join the "trick-or-treating and alcohol don't mix" group. Drinking while chaperoning children walking down city streets in the dark on an evening known for mischief seems like a foolish combination.

A few months after we moved to Germany I chaperoned my DD's class trip. The teacher and I got everyone settled at the hostel and left the kids playing games down stairs to go up and meet with the hostel director up in the office. She showed us where our meals would be, told us the rules we needed to communicate to the kids, etc. She also showed us the "chaperone's kitchen" where we oculd help ourselves to a drink in teh evenings (and list what it was on teh honor system to pay for it). They had soda, coffee, water, AND beer and wine. More beer and wine available than soda and coffeeI remember thinking that this would NEVER fly in America. Funny here it is pretty much a given that an adult can handle having one or two drinks and behaving approproately. It is also pretty much assuemd that if you are chaperoning a bunch of kdis around all day you just might want that drink come evening Anyway, nearly every school kid in this country goes on a class trip nearly every year (from about age 7 or 8 on) and chaperones are not routinely prohibited from haivng a drink, yet very rarely do problems arise. Persoanlly, I think the American attitude that makes drinking into some black and white issue whereby one glass of wine or beer will render an adults virtually uselessto care for a child is rather foolish.

 

[mjkacmom]

DH at least put his beer in a travel mug. Some street are know to fill you back up, and a friend of ours mentioned how much easier it was when you had a stroller. Doesn't bother me a bit!

 

[NMAmy]

or

set the example that it is okay to be sneaky and the laws aren't meant for him.

Go ahead and drink in front of your children. I'm not saying to hide it. I'm saying do it within the laws of your state and lead by example as to when the "right" time is to do so. (for example not on a child's holiday, party, in public...etc.)

It does seem as though you're saying that parents should hide their drinking. In public?? So, I should never have a beer with dinner at a restaurant? Never grab a margarita in the WS and enjoy it while watching Illuminations? This seems pretty silly.

I'd just like to state for the record that my dd is 18 so I haven't taken her trick or treating in many years nor did I have a drink when I took her trick or treating when she was little so I'm not being defensive. I have no problem with others doing it. I have had a beer or two at children's birthday parties and have provided them at family birthday parties for dd over the years. We also serve alcoholic beverages at all the major holiday parties. No one gets drunk. The kids are fine.

 

[MissFitt]

Are you a bad Mommy if you take your Mickey Mouse rolling cooler filled with "adult" beverages trick or treating

 

[grumpeeduck]

Children will follow the leads of their parents......... that is the exact reason that we have chosen not to drink-at all-since we have children. Oldest dd has just gone to college, never drank, and thanked us for the example.

Just curious, those that carry the "cups" or opened drinks around, do they think it makes them look big or something?? Just don't get it.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

People have been drinking and going trick or treating since I was kid, nothing new.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Just curious, those that carry the "cups" or opened drinks around, do they think it makes them look big or something?? Just don't get it.

I assume (yeah I know. . .) that they do it for the same reason I carry around a Coke or water when out with my children--they like that particular beverage

I do not like much inthe way of alcohol, but I do enjoy a bottle of wine with DH now and again. Yesterday we went on a mini date; we left the kids at home (they are older and we invtied them alomg for ice cream but wanted to work on some "secret" holiday gift making while they had the chance to get both adults out of the house) and took the tram downtown. We took our little case which holds a wine bottle, openeer and glasses and found a bench near someone playing jazz sax. Opened the bottle (no open container laws here) and enjoyed sipping a couple of glasses of wine while listening to the music. It never crossed my mind to wonder how I looked to anyone else or to think what I was drinking had any effect on others whatsoever; I am not so self centered to think anyone else cares.

 

[DutchsMommy]

Children will follow the leads of their parents......... that is the exact reason that we have chosen not to drink-at all-since we have children. Oldest dd has just gone to college, never drank, and thanked us for the example.

Just curious, those that carry the "cups" or opened drinks around, do they think it makes them look big or something?? Just don't get it.

I have to disagree with you here. While your daughter might have chosen to follow your lead in terms of drinking, that does not by definition mean every child will. Case in point - me. My parents very rarely drank in front of us, did not smoke, and almost never went out with friends. I on the other hand, took it upon myself to be a very bad teenager/young adult in every sense of the word. I can look back on it now and feel bad for what I put my parents through, but at the time it would not matter what they said or did.

I did have a glass of wine while handing out candy, as did many of the neighbours. I think it is a nice social opportunity for the adults and a nice way to connect with your neighbours. I dont see anything wrong with having a drink socially?

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

I'm sorry for how you were brought up.being raised in an alcoholic family, of course you can't understand about "normal" social drinking. you had nothing to compare it to except "over indulgence". there is a great group called Adult Children of Alcoholics. however, that doesn't apply here.

I do understand "normal" social drinking. I have clearly stated that DH drink and drink socially. I simply do not believe thatt social drinking needs to take place during child/family centered events.

I don't understand why you think I need help (Adult Children of Alcoholics) for these choices? My background has shaped my choices - and they may be different from what others may choose, but I don't don't see where that means I have problems or need help? Wouldn't that be like me saying that if someone feels the need to grab a beer for ToTing, then they need to attend AAA? Which I haven't done. I have stated over and over - IMHO/JMHO...I am talking about my personal choices, reasoning, etc. No where have I put any one else down for their choices.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I have to disagree with you here. While your daughter might have chosen to follow your lead in terms of drinking, that does not by definition mean every child will. Case in point - me. My parents very rarely drank in front of us, did not smoke, and almost never went out with friends. I on the other hand, took it upon myself to be a very bad teenager/young adult in every sense of the word. I can look back on it now and feel bad for what I put my parents through, but at the time it would not matter what they said or did.

I did have a glass of wine while handing out candy, as did many of the neighbours. I think it is a nice social opportunity for the adults and a nice way to connect with your neighbours. I dont see anything wrong with having a drink socially?

Good point My family was the opposite. My parents drank quite a bit (the local store stocked their favourite imports just for them and held some behind the counter for them every week). The only time I EVER drank under aged was once during the year I lived in Spain (and it was totally legal); I still drink very little and never have liked beer There are plenty of ways I am not like my parents. Though--I do hope my children follow DH and my lead about alcohol--drink it in moderation when you want to because you like it, not to prove anything and always have a plan to get home safely without driving.

 

[grumpeeduck]

I have to disagree with you here. While your daughter might have chosen to follow your lead in terms of drinking, that does not by definition mean every child will. Case in point - me. My parents very rarely drank in front of us, did not smoke, and almost never went out with friends. I on the other hand, took it upon myself to be a very bad teenager/young adult in every sense of the word. I can look back on it now and feel bad for what I put my parents through, but at the time it would not matter what they said or did.

I did have a glass of wine while handing out candy, as did many of the neighbours. I think it is a nice social opportunity for the adults and a nice way to connect with your neighbours. I dont see anything wrong with having a drink socially?

There's waaayyyyy more to it than to just not drink in front of them, of course-I just didn't feel the need to go into all that detail. We talked about the dangers of drinking from the time they were very young, the schools do a great job and actually have resource officers for each school and they teach classes on that and other dangers, and my dh is in insurance and knows firsthand the extreme dangers of it and has shared many stories. Parenting is a huge responsibility and we take that job very seriously and never give up on a chance to teach, discuss, and LISTEN, LISTEN! Those are areas that my own parents failed miserably in.

 

[Colleen27]

Assuming they aren't walking around with a 12 pack in tow, I really don't see a problem. I don't think drinking in moderation in front of kids is wrong, so why would a drink while walking around the neighborhood be wrong?

I'm curious, do you get similarly upset obver parents walking around the World Showcase with a Grey Goose slushie?

 

[Colleen27]

Starbuck cups are THE BEST to use for a portable glass of vino. Nobody ever questions what is in a Starbucks cup

Forget the vino... Just add a shot of Baileys to that coffee, and you've got a nice WARM drink for cold hours spent trick-or-treating.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I guess I just grew up in a completely different time or something. That never happened in the neighborhood where I grew up. Now it's the norm.

I don't care if people drink, I really don't (as long as they're not driving), but do parents really need to drink when they're watching their children? There's plenty of time for it at home or after the kids are in bed. When your sole attention should be on making sure your kids aren't littering, running out in front of cars, and doing all sorts of other stuff, I kind of expect the parents to be fully alert, which doesn't happen when you've been drinking.

So they shouldn't serve alcohol in restaurants to families with children and they should certainly ban it at Disney world then, based on this logic.

 

[nuke]

I've never even thought of having a drink while ToTing. Never ever noticed anyone else doing it.

All those hours wasted.....who knew?


I have to say, though, despite it sounding very tempting, I'd probably never do it. Walking the strees imbibing is illegal. My kind of luck I'd be arrested, breathalyzed, and arrested for ToTing while impaired.....

The way to do it is to send the smaller ones out with the older ones and stay home with your neighbors and have a drink or three. It's much more fun that way. The kids are happy, the adults are happy, someone's home when the doorbell rings. Perfect situation.

That's what we did this year now that the kids are a bit older. When they were small we just waiting until we were done TOTing before we started the adult party.

 

[Colleen27]

the big difference is that epcot isn't on a potentially busy street, on a very car accident prone night of the year.

apples and oranges.

My neighborhood isn't a potentially busy street either. There's almost no traffic on a typical day and even less on Halloween. I don't think we saw a single car on the road in the hour+ I was out with the kids.

 

[kimmar067]

When did this become okay? I saw soooo many parents drinking alcohol while walking the residential area with their kids. I saw parents with wine glasses and bottles of beer. I almost said something about it on Facebook today, but then some of my Facebook "friends" started posting pics of themselves doing this exact thing. Is this normal? I am far from a prude, but I just think it is WRONG to take your kids Trick or Treating while drinking... what kind of example is that setting? They weren't even trying to hide it. Ugh... tell me if I am just turning into an old lady with my thinking! I am only in my 30's!

......okay, NOW I've heard everything..... tsk, tsk, tsk....

 

[kimmar067]

The way to do it is to send the smaller ones out with the older ones and stay home with your neighbors and have a drink or three. It's much more fun that way. The kids are happy, the adults are happy, someone's home when the doorbell rings. Perfect situation.

That's what we did this year now that the kids are a bit older. When they were small we just waiting until we were done TOTing before we started the adult party.

...remove tongue from cheek....