parents over 40

[dis-happy]

I'm 44 and expecting baby number 4 (surprise!). My dh (who is 4 years older) travels a lot as well, but it's been do-able over the years. My children are a bit more spread out (approx. 5 yrs. apart each time) so there were always some helping hands, and as they got older, built-in babysitters. The best advice I can give you: make sure you have a friend or two close by that you can call on; my neighbor and I used to pick up milk for each other if one of us was going out at night, and sometimes have dinner together when both our dh's were travelling and the kids needed to be entertained with friends. It helps a lot!

 

[kileybeth]

I'm loving this post!

now if I could just have a nickle for every time my DH has been mistaken for the Grandpa. . . (once as we were on the way home from hospital with newborn! (hey! I was craving a cheeseburger!)

I'll be 44 in a couple months, my Dh is 47. He honestly has way more energy than me and still does all that young Dad stuff he did with our now 25 and almost 20 year olds! I mean he still does this with our now 14, almost12, 4 and almost 2 year olds. . .

Difference in age for me is I do get more tired but I also know what I have, what a gift they are and I'm much more mellow about things. And yet, on the flip side I do have some life experience under my belt so I am not so lax about other things because "been there done that" is a fact of life.

age spans between kids is such a subjective kind of thing , different every time, every family, even within your own family (we say we have 3 families of 2 kids not one family of 6 kids).

Far apart has been easier for me than close together kids but that's just me!

Enjoy!

 

[Manatee]

I was 40 when my first DS was born, three years later my DW gave birth again this time twin DS's, we managed to cope ok, even with the twins, you just get on with it, children are a joy especially when they are little, i would just go with the flow, if you feel ok go for it, your DH will be ok he's still a spring chicken.

 

[Gillian]

My kids are almost 3 years apart, and I think I'd have had them closer together if we could do it again. I know it will be fine, but right now, at 3 & 6, they just fight a lot! DD is catching up, but it's hard for DS to play the things he's interested in without DD ruining them. I don't think it's because they're boy/girl so much.

If our house was bigger I could separate them more, but we don't have a lot of room.

I don't think the age thing is a factor.

 

[peigirl]

I am 43 and my DH will turn 65 this year 20 days after our DS turns 2. We also have DD11 and DD14. My stepson is 36.

We are so glad that we decided to have DS2. We are much more laid back with him than when the girls were small. We take all the time in the world to sit on the floor to play with him. all of his siblings are crazy about him.

I am at a great place in my career and DH is retired so no babysitter needed. We originally only planned on 2 but when I got to be 40, I thought now or never. We always say that we did not know what the family was missing til he came along. (a million sticky kisses and hugs).

Of course, DH always gets the grandfather comments but that does not bother us. It is natural for people to think that.

Paula

 

[crisi]

My kids are 13 months apart. The first four years were some sort of blur - don't remember much, didn't ever get enough sleep and vividly remember the first time I was in the bathroom alone! Having kids close together is challenging, but doable. And it can be nice - built in friends.

I was 32 and 33 when my kids were born, my husband a year older. We have friends who were older than us. Its tiring, but pretty doable.

 

[seetheworld]

Don't even worry about -- 40 is so young. My husband was 42 when we had baby #3 and 45 when we had our last baby.


Lots and Lots and Lots of dads are in their 40's and still having babies. He won't be the only one.


I'd say Go for it!!!!

I agree with this poster. 40's old - now way! It is very young and he certainly will not be the oldest by any means. Many people put off having kids until their late 30's or even their mid-40's. You will know when the time feels right or maybe nature will decide that for you. Best of luck whatever you decide.

 

[ammo]

We have three kids, each 16 or 17 months behind the previous one (33 months total from 1st to 3rd). The last was born right before I turned 40. We love having them so close in age. They are thick as thieves and we have a ball with them. It was, however, a lot of work without a break during the diaper years.

One issue with having kids at an older age is the possibility of having dependents as you near or enter retirement. No problem if you are rich or have generous work benefits. Otherwise, you have to plan more carefully. Young parents can put their kids through college during their 40s and then have 15 or 20 empty-nest years to save for retirement. I will be in my 60s when our last child is finishing college, and I cannot necessarily count on my body or skills to ensure that I will be able to work into my mid-70s. So we have to save for college and retirement at the same time. Good advice for parents of all ages, but not always easy.

What an exciting time in your lives!

 

[Deesknee]

Firstly, I didn't read all the posts, so please forgive me if I reiterate what others have said.

I had triplets at the age of 28. I am now 44 and have a 3 year old. I would gladly take the triplets at 28. My energy level is much lower than at 28. Also, take into consideration how old you both will be when you are spending time alone again. Perhaps a romantic Hawaiin anniversary vacation, etc. I love all my kids. They are all surprise miracles. I just wish I had the energy to chase her all over the house for hours at a time like I did with her siblings.
Just my HO.

 

[vicki845]

I'm 44 and dh is 42. We have a 5 year old and a 3 year old. Would love to have one more. I think 2 to 3 years apart is a good but sometimes you just can't plan those things. I don't think 40 is too old not now a days.