Parents of teens ~ question

[Dancemom03]

I don't normally take lunch money in - she can borrow that - but will drive papers and other stuff to the high school if she calls as asks or I notice they're forgotten. Our office has student assistants who get independant study credit for printing/faxing/ect and also run messages/supplies to students and teachers in the building during the day so the office is fine with dropping off things they forget. My schedule is not always quite as forgiving though so sometimes she goes without...

 

[powellrj]

I voted no because I work out of town and drop my DD off on my way to work. There is no way I can take her anything because I am usually at least an hour away.

 

[cristit14]

I didn't vote because it depends. It rarely happens here. One time I did take order forms for a fundraiser to the school because she forgot them. and I think I might have taken her gym uniform on that same day to the school. She is usually very good about remembering. We don't have to worry about lunch money because I do that on PayMeals on line.

 

[need2cruise]

No--I used to do that and created a child who forgot everything--so now we are trying to have her become more responsible for middle school--so if she forgets something--(like today-she left a project that was due today at home), it stays home.

If I forget something, I have to learn to adapt and deal with the consequences--I expect her to learn to adapt and understand consequences too. This isn't something that is learned easily as an adult--so I'd rather her learn this in 4th grade vs in her 20's when she forgets to pay rent for 3 mths and is evicted!

My 5 yr old--has been raised to think and do things on her own, she has yet to forget anything--she's very good about putting it where it needs to be to begin with and double checking daily that its there. I wish I had made my first born do this more instead of helicoptering so much!!

 

[cheermom1]

I voted yes only b/c there wasn't a "it depends" option...first it depends on if it is a reg. thing. 2. If I am working or have to be at work at a certain time. 3. dd is in cheer and if she forgets something she gets demarets ..now before I get flamed ...we have had trouble with certain team members telling dd she needs to wear one thing and it is not the one she is supposed to wear and things of that nature...

however if she just forgets and it is a reg (went through that) I said enough and a few times of her getting in trouble done the trick and now she rarely forgets anything...

 

[cheermom1]

Unless it were to become a frequent problem, I would take something up if my 12 yr old forgot something (11 yr old and 10 yr old too). I don't like when our principal preaches responsibility when it comes to this issue. As I said, if it were to happen frequesntly, then yes, it would need to be addressed. I had a few bad experiences with this as a child (my parents were both at work so there was no running anything up to me) and I remember the panic/frustration. These memories (as well as other things, of course) are part of why I am a SAHM. I chose to stay home so that I would be there when stuff like this happens. I'm lucky enough to be able to have that choice (and to cover my butt, I don't think any bad thought toward Mom's that work...people need to do what is best for themselves and their families). Everyone forgets once in a while. Can you imagine telling your husband, "Sorry you forgot your wallet but it was your responsibilty. So even though I could run it up to you, I'm not going to because you need to learn a lesson."

Jess

LOL reading your post made me remember that a few weeks ago my dh DID forget his wallet

i had to take it to him (he drives a truck and he HAD to have it)

thanks for the memory and laugh...

 

[hereyago]

I voted no. My DD11 tends to be on the forgetful side well should i say the unorganized side.

I work, so if she forgets something, it is on her. As a kid, if I forgot something my DM who was a SAHM but didn't stay home, would have never brought me anything and I l lived through it.

Earlier this year, DD forgot her trombone, so she had to sign a paper for the teacher that she forgot the trombone. And she is still breathing. Has she forgotten it since? No.

A few years ago, I was supposed to sign a paper, but I forgot to give it to DD, so I did go to the school and hand it in,but as a general whole, nope.

If you have a kid who forgets all the time and you keep doing it, would you prepared when that kid gets to college and run something there too?

 

[MelanieC]

I voted no, BUT she has only forgot something once and I did take it to her. Normally though, I don't have the time. She is a cheerleader and had forgotten a bow for her hair that she needed for the Pep rally and I guess it's a really bad thing not to wear EXACTLY what the entire group is supposed to wear.

 

[4greatboys]

Yes I did take things to them they forgot. I don't see the big deal. I forget crap and I'm an adult. I don't see the just not doing it to teach them a lesson.

 

[cheermom1]

I voted no, BUT she has only forgot something once and I did take it to her. Normally though, I don't have the time. She is a cheerleader and had forgotten a bow for her hair that she needed for the Pep rally and I guess it's a really bad thing not to wear EXACTLY what the entire group is supposed to wear.

Yep Melanie it is

I have had to take things up lots of times like one time on try outs she forgot her white shirt and if you don;t have that you can't try out! SO I don't care what else was going on I would have taken that to her period ...

 

[Piglets Mommy]

That's how I feel about it too!!



Wow...you really wouldn't bring your husband something important that he needed?? It bugs me the few times that I did have to take something to DH because he forgot it, but I can't imagine telling him no.

Everyone forgets something every now and then and I would like my family helping me out if I needed it.

I think that would have to depend on the situation...My DH has over an hour commute, and I work too. I can't exactly call my boss and say "I'm gonna be 2 hrs late today, my DH forgot his wallet." If he worked closer to home, it might be different, but then again, he could just go get it himself. I can't really see myself calling DH and asking him to bring me my purse....

As for the OP, I voted no. My kids are still younger (10 & 6), but even at their age, if they forget something it is on them. The only time I would take something in is if I forgot (like when DS asked me to sign something while I was doing the dishes, I told him to put it on my desk, and then forgot. I signed it and took it over to school as soon as I saw it in the morning)

 

[j's m]

I voted yes because I did it this morning. DS15 forgot his glasses on the kitchen table.

He got home at almost 7 last night (Mock Trial scrimmage) and after a 12 hour day, just took off the glasses and left them there. Neither one of us noticed this morning (who notices anything at 6!) He's supposed to put them in the case in his backpack.

DH told me not to bring them to him, but he had 2 tests today and I certainly didn't want to have a problem if anything was written on the board. Since I was driving right past the school and its 4 minutes away, I dropped them off. His main office will make an announcement between classes.

This is the 3rd time in a year and a half. Once was homework forgotten in the printer (he used the gym teacher's phone) and once was his money for school pictures (he used the homeroom teacher's phone) If it's lunch or a textbook I won't do it. I figure he can starve.

 

[minkydog]

I needed a "It depends" choice. My DD16 is pretty good about organizing herself and rarely forgets things. But there have been a few times when she has forgotten a paper that HAD to be turned in that day, or she forgot her dance shoes and they have a performance and yes, I will gladly run those things up to school for her. There have been a few times when she forgot lunch money--that gets no sympathy from me. They have bread and PB or cheese for those kids and she can drink water. She will not die before she gets home so, no, I do not run up there and bring her money.

My point is, I don't think you have to be legalistic about it. My DD has not abused the privilege and she is very grateful when we pull through for her. I"m not going to "punish" her for forgetfulness when there is something important on the line, like a major grade.

 

[daisyduck123]

DD15 is a Junior & DS11 is in the 6th grade.

I have never taken anything to their schools ever. If they forgot it, well tough luck. It couldn't have been that important if they forgot it.

 

[4greatboys]

everyone forgets something every now and then and i would like my family helping me out if i needed it.

ita!!

 

[disykat]

I voted no, but I'd never say never. I can certainly see some extenuating circumstances where I might, but my kids are in high school and it's never been come up.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I would because that's how the value system in my family works. Family takes care of one another. I know that my son (he's 10) will go out of my way if I need something. The other day I left my cell phone at work by mistake. Since I work all over the building I had no idea where it was. I had him sit at a desk and dial my number over and over while I walked around the building listening for ringing. He didn't complain or blink an eye. He knew I needed it, an jumped in to help. I believe one of the reasons why he'll do that is that he knows I will (and have) done the same kind of thing for him on occasion.

 

[luvmyfam444]

no, because dd's school won't give them anything til the end of the day - unless dd knows to stop by the office to get it -so I don't bother 'cause there's noway dd would know to stop by & check

 

[drag n' fly]

I voted no because that would probably have been the 20th time that they pulled that stunt. Once in a blue moon is completely different then my answer would be yes.

 

[C.Ann]

Voted 'no'. Why? Because our school system has asked us not to 'run stuff down to school' for the kids. They are trying to teach them responsibility, so from middle school (7th and 8th grades) we are asked not to bring them forgotten stuff.
.

Same rule applies at DGD's school - only her MS starts with 6th grade.. (This is her first year..)

As others have stated, when my kids were 8 yrs. old thru 12 or so, they got one "oops" per semester..

Upon entering junior high (7th grade), all bets were off.. At that point, "natural consequences" took over..