Parents of teens ~ question

[5lilfish]

Funny, I was a girl scout leader too (still would be if i could figure it out from here--can't get an email back to save my life though). At the begining of second grade we told all teh girls in the troop taht THEY were responsible for bringing in dues, signed forms, etc and "my mom (or dad or grandma or whoever) forgot" was not an excuse. It was THEIR job to make sure they go the forms signed and into their folders and remembered to bring their folders. We had a month or two with lots of forgetfullness, and then when they realized they really were respoinsible they stepped up to the plate.

As a parent, that frustrates me. I understand completely what you are saying. In theory, I agree with it. In practice, it doesn't work in my house. I have 5 kids. The time of day that my kids tell me about these things can be hectic. Sometimes they tell me and I say ok and I just get going on something else. I forget. It doesn't happen often but it does happen. I'll say something like, "Ok. I'll sign it and put it back in your bag...just put it on the counter." Oops!

Recently my fourth grader forgot to bring in a note saying she was after school for something. The teacher wasn't going to let her call home. It turns out that I had H1N1. My twin 2 year old girls had H1N1. My poor husband was trying to take care of 3 sick people and 3 healthy school-aged kids (which is not his routine). We forgot the bloody note. My DD was upset....because we don't normally forget these things. She didn't need to be made to feel worse in the name of "teaching responsibility." It was a tough enough week for all of us.

Jess

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My 13yodd 7th grader, works very hard to make sure she has her stuff beforehand so if she left something it would be a fluke.

Now if it was chronic, nope. However in that case they would need to pack their stuff the night before to solve that problem.

Right now we are working on organizing homework. So far, so good.

 

[Tink888]

Overall, at this point......no. DS12's school is a good 20 minutes away, too far to make a special trip. DS14's school is only about 2 minutes from our house. So far this year, neither one has forgotten anything. We've always had a rule that if they forget something, then they have to deal with the consequences so they've learned to be pretty responsible.

I do think though, that if they forgot something such as a big project or report, I probably would take it to them since they have done so well with remembering but regular homework, lunch money, gym clothes or an instrument would not warrant a trip for me.

 

[NHdisneylover]

As a parent, that frustrates me. I understand completely what you are saying. In theory, I agree with it. In practice, it doesn't work in my house. I have 5 kids. The time of day that my kids tell me about these things can be hectic. Sometimes they tell me and I say ok and I just get going on something else. I forget. It doesn't happen often but it does happen. I'll say something like, "Ok. I'll sign it and put it back in your bag...just put it on the counter." Oops!

Well, we told the girls to double check that it DID get signed and put back in that folder before leaving. It was done partly in the name of teaching responsibility, partly in the name of our (the two leaders') sanity (we had 5 kids between us, both worked part time, had husbands who travelled, etc but made the time to lead this tropp for 3 hours a week plus field trips, training and prep work we did not want to have to also spend another hour tracking down parents after every meeting for forgotten itmes--and yes it often took that long the first year) and partly because the GIRLS themselves did not want to waste their time doing somethign that wasn't what they planend because half the troop forgot to bring in whatever they needed.

 

[Pembo]

Everyone forgets once in a while. Can you imagine telling your husband, "Sorry you forgot your wallet but it was your responsibilty. So even though I could run it up to you, I'm not going to because you need to learn a lesson."

Jess

So very true....

 

[mjkacmom]

"Sorry you forgot your wallet but it was your responsibilty. So even though I could run it up to you, I'm not going to because you need to learn a lesson."

Jess

LOL - that's what I would say to DH! He forgets something almost every day - his wallet, his cellphone, his laptop... He's the last person I would bring something to! Boy, is he starving a lot when he gets home from work!

 

[MichelleVW]

Unless it were to become a frequent problem, I would take something up if my 12 yr old forgot something (11 yr old and 10 yr old too). I don't like when our principal preaches responsibility when it comes to this issue. As I said, if it were to happen frequesntly, then yes, it would need to be addressed. I had a few bad experiences with this as a child (my parents were both at work so there was no running anything up to me) and I remember the panic/frustration. These memories (as well as other things, of course) are part of why I am a SAHM. I chose to stay home so that I would be there when stuff like this happens. I'm lucky enough to be able to have that choice (and to cover my butt, I don't think any bad thought toward Mom's that work...people need to do what is best for themselves and their families). Everyone forgets once in a while. Can you imagine telling your husband, "Sorry you forgot your wallet but it was your responsibilty. So even though I could run it up to you, I'm not going to because you need to learn a lesson."

Jess

That's how I feel about it too!!

LOL - that's what I would say to DH! He forgets something almost every day - his wallet, his cellphone, his laptop... He's the last person I would bring something to! Boy, is he starving a lot when he gets home from work!

Wow...you really wouldn't bring your husband something important that he needed?? It bugs me the few times that I did have to take something to DH because he forgot it, but I can't imagine telling him no.

Everyone forgets something every now and then and I would like my family helping me out if I needed it.

 

[Disney Ella]

Mine only forget things once or twice each year, so I have no problem bringing them what they need if I happen to be home. I know I sometimes forget to bring things to work and DH forgets his phone at least once a month. Seems like it would be hypocritical to give the kids a hard time about forgetting things when we do it too.

 

[JessicaR]

That's how I feel about it too!!



Wow...you really wouldn't bring your husband something important that he needed?? It bugs me the few times that I did have to take something to DH because he forgot it, but I can't imagine telling him no.

Everyone forgets something every now and then and I would like my family helping me out if I needed it.

She said, "He forgets something almost every day" . I wouldnt encourage that either!
Every now and then is quite different than every day.

 

[stacy347]

Well, I just got back from taking the youngest to school and when I was almost home, I got a text from DD16 saying that she realized she forgot her $$ and not to worry about it.

I guess she'll survive, LOL.

I appreciate all the honest answers from everyone and I definitely see both sides of the coin on this one. Though I have to say, I'm really surprised to see the poll staying so close to 50/50 ~ I thought for sure it would be mostly against taking stuff up to the school.

 

[mamamary]

I voted no. Mostly because of my sons mid. school policy. If you forget something your parent may bring it and leave it in the office. They will NOT notify the student that the item (whatever it may be) is there. So knowing my son he wouldn't even bother to come down and look.

On the other hand my 10 year old is in elem school. She forgot her clarinet the other day and I brought it. Mostly because I orig. told her that morning that her lesson was the next day plus in her school they will call to the classroom and get to the child what they forgot.

Finally, I have always been after the kids to make sure everything is put away the night before and ready to go. Lunch $ is put into an account so I know they'll never starve. The schools will even let them go over their account just a little so I know they will always get fed.

 

[iwrbnd]

I voted "no" only because I used to do it and then my kids began leaving stuff all the time! I said "ENOUGH!" Now even my 1st grader knows the words "personal responsibility"!

 

[stsomewhere]

My kids are in 3rd and 6th grade. Their school has a no call policy. If they forget something, they are not allowed to call home for it.

Now, they will call and have me bring them pain meds, if their braces are hurting. I will bring them up.

When my DD was in 1st, she forgot part of her report at home. We walked in dropped her brother off, I told her teacher that Marina was going to be late since she had to run home and get her report she left on the table.

Her teacher complimented me on making her take responsibilty. My DD got a tardy that day.

 

[jme829]

I say yes for two reasons: one, because she rarely forgets something and, two, because I work in our HS cafeteria, so dd16 sees me everyday at lunch anyways so it's not a big deal for me to take something and give it to her at lunch.


Now I have to say if I wasn't there everyday, I may not run homework or something like that up so they can learn the consequences, but working in the cafeteria and seeing kids daily who do not have lunch money, I would always make sure to take that to the school.

 

[cabanafrau]

I do if I know it is important and because it happens very rarely. Interestingly, each DD has gone through a time in late elementary/early middle where they've forgotten a book or notes at school they need for their homework about 3 times in a month. I will run them up to get it, but they owe a chore for it. It's just so funny that for each of them it cropped up out of nowhere & then stopped after that month.

IMO kids do need to learn responsibility, but I don't see any reason to be so harsh as to insist forgetting something never happens. It happens to all of us some time or another, even as an adult. It would only be a serious problem if it looked like it was a steady thing.

 

[Planogirl]

I do but it's been a rare occurrence. I forget things sometimes and wish that I had someone to bring them to me!

 

[Momvic5]

I voted yes....if it was important, I would. We have all left something behind a time or two or three...

 

[Katie]

I voted yes. School work absolutely, sports stuff..yep, I would that too..the consequences from the coach would be severe....lunch money..probably not

The tricky part is how to get it to them...they usually text me when they forget something...and texting is not allowed in school...so I usually try and meet them in between classes and give it to them personally...OR i take it to the school office and say I found this...I think they need it TODAY by whatever time the class is.

Texting has saved their butts more times than I can count!

 

[Chelley00]

Our kids get 1 freebie run a semester. After that, they have to pay our gas money ($3) or do without. Once they get that $3 fine, they don't forget anything

 

[NotUrsula]

DS' school allows it only once per year, and they cannot call you for it with the office phone. They will notify the homeroom teacher if you bring something in on that one occasion.

Medication is a different issue -- the nurse keeps the supply of anything that the child must take during the day. If parents forget to replenish it, she will call.