Parents of teens ~ question

[stacy347]

If your older child (let's say at least 12) forgets something in the morning that they should have taken to school, do you take it up to them?

Normally, my girls are pretty good these days about gathering up their stuff and being set in the mornings but once in awhile things do get left behind.

I just got back from running the older girls to school and there sits DD16's lunch money on the table.

We live very close to the school, so it really isn't about that for me.
It's just that by junior high and high school, I expect them to remember the basics for Pete's sake. We had one school year when it seemed like I was getting calls from one of the girls for something almost everyday that was forgotten and they all got an earful from me, lol.
They've been much better since then, so I try to cut them some slack because people do forget things sometimes.

Truth be told, I'll probably run the money up there before lunch because I don't want her hungry all day and sluggish, but it definitely irks me.

 

[mjkacmom]

I vote yes, ONLY because she so very rarely forgets anything. Yesterday she texted me in the morning, because she had forgotten to print a part of her report that was due that day. I brought it, because it's the first time it happened this year, it would effect her grade, and she was SO grateful. Ds11 tends to forget a lot more, and I don't bring stuff to him unless he calls, and it's really important.

Edited to add, I didn't vote, because it really depends on what was forgotten. Lunch money would not be brought in, because I'm sure she could borrow some, and she's not a big eater anyway.

 

[JessicaR]

Yes, because it isnt a habit.

 

[JoanGirardi]

By high school I did not bring anything to the school that was forgotten. The one exception was my son's wrestling singlet, once, because I didn't want the whole wrestling team to suffer because he was forgetful, and I didn't want the coach or someone else to give him a ride home because I refused to take it to school. Lunch money---I give them an extra couple of bucks at the beginning of the year that's supposed to be kept in their locker for just such an occasion, and if they don't have it they are out of luck. I made many trips with forgotten items to the middle school, and I don't think I did them any favors.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

I voted "yes" although only under certain circumstances. I took my DS's homework to him the other day, but only because I told him I would pack his homework for him since we were running out the door-so I felt it was my fault. I won't get him out of class for something like that, I went in between classes and caught him in the hallway. This is the first time this year I had to do this, so I don't feel bad.

My DS would not call for anything unless the teacher made him..

 

[NHdisneylover]

I checked no. I certainly would not in your lunch money example. I would possibly if what the forgot affected several others. For example, DS11 was asked to bring in an American flag, photos, a candy cane, Christmas stocking, and chocolate chip cookies today as his class is learning about America. Had he forgotten those, I might have taken them in becuase his teachers had a lesson plan that involved needing those items TODAY and it would have thrown off a lesson for the entire class otherwise. Things that just affect my kids do not get brought in by me if they forget.

I honestly think it is much better for them to learn how to keep track of their things at a young age, while the "penalty" is low, than to keep saving them and when they get older the penalty could be a failing grade in highschool (where grades make a difference for getting into college), or college, or getting fired because you forgot your presntation when the CEO came to town, etc.

 

[Darsa]

I vote yes, ONLY because she so very rarely forgets anything.

And I voted yes for the same reason; we *try* to have everything set to go the night before because DD is NOT a morning person There was one time earlier this year that she had forgotten a speech she had written for the Student Council meeting that same afternoon, and my dad brought it up to her... that's the only time I can think of.

 

[descovy]

Truth be told... I have elementary kids (grades 2, 4) and I won't run things up for them to the school either.

Maybe because we do girl scouts, and run it as a girl-led (not parent-led) activity, I know my kids are capable of much. I expect my kids to give me what they need to have signed, put their own things in their backpack, do their own homework, whatever. (they also make their own beds & pick up their own dirty laundry too!) If I give them a check for lunch money, I expect them to put that in their pack too. Sure I'll give them reminders, but, man, if I see their homework on the stair, lunch bags (and I have) they stay there.

*lunch, our school will feed them a cheese sandwhich and a carton of milk, if forgotten. Homework, my kids deal with the consequences from their teachers. Coats, I do make sure they put on when they leave the house, but beyond that they are fully capable at 8 and 10 to get their own stuff to school.

That said, they rarelt forget... maybe because I don't bail them out!

Poll coming:

If your older child (let's say at least 12) forgets something in the morning that they should have taken to school, do you take it up to them?

Normally, my girls are pretty good these days about gathering up their stuff and being set in the mornings but once in awhile things do get left behind.

I just got back from running the older girls to school and there sits DD16's lunch money on the table.

We live very close to the school, so it really isn't about that for me.
It's just that by junior high and high school, I expect them to remember the basics for Pete's sake. We had one school year when it seemed like I was getting calls from one of the girls for something almost everyday that was forgotten and they all got an earful from me, lol.
They've been much better since then, so I try to cut them some slack because people do forget things sometimes.

Truth be told, I'll probably run the money up there before lunch because I don't want her hungry all day and sluggish, but it definitely irks me.

 

[RunningGirl]

I give my kids one per semester. After that, I won't run anything up to school. It isn't a big issue and this works for us.

 

[Mermaid02]

If I can I will- but it's not always possible.

 

[jen0610]

My vote would be other. It would depend on what was left behind and the consequences of not having said item.

Lunch money - no I don't take that to them. The school will let them charge one sandwich to their account. If they forget a second day in the row, maybe being hungry that day will reinforce the reminder to put their lunch money in their wallet and take it to school the next day.

Books, missing papers, sports equipment - these are all covered by the opening statement. It would all depend.

 

[golfgal]

I give my kids one per semester. After that, I won't run anything up to school. It isn't a big issue and this works for us.

Same here and in elementary school I would end up running one thing per kid a semester, middle school I think I made 3 trips total for the kids and I think I have made one high school run so far in 4 years (DS17 is a senior and the twins are freshman so that is pretty minimal). There are times when they have a lot to bring and I offer to drop some off later though-usually in golf season when DD has to bring her backpack, saxophone and golf bag.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Truth be told... I have elementary kids (grades 2, 4) and I won't run things up for them to the school either.

Maybe because we do girl scouts, and run it as a girl-led (not parent-led) activity, I know my kids are capable of much.

Funny, I was a girl scout leader too (still would be if i could figure it out from here--can't get an email back to save my life though). At the begining of second grade we told all teh girls in the troop taht THEY were responsible for bringing in dues, signed forms, etc and "my mom (or dad or grandma or whoever) forgot" was not an excuse. It was THEIR job to make sure they go the forms signed and into their folders and remembered to bring their folders. We had a month or two with lots of forgetfullness, and then when they realized they really were respoinsible they stepped up to the plate.

 

[MichelleinMaine]

I voted no because DS13 forgets things frequently. I won't make a special trip to cover his mistakes.

That said though, I drive right by his school on my way to work. If he calls me before I leave, I will drop it off en route. (Too mean to say "sorry I'm driving right by, but I can't share the car with your book report/etc".) A day off though, nope. And most defintately not if I'm already at work. (He tried that one- ONCE! ah, no.)

 

[5lilfish]

Unless it were to become a frequent problem, I would take something up if my 12 yr old forgot something (11 yr old and 10 yr old too). I don't like when our principal preaches responsibility when it comes to this issue. As I said, if it were to happen frequesntly, then yes, it would need to be addressed. I had a few bad experiences with this as a child (my parents were both at work so there was no running anything up to me) and I remember the panic/frustration. These memories (as well as other things, of course) are part of why I am a SAHM. I chose to stay home so that I would be there when stuff like this happens. I'm lucky enough to be able to have that choice (and to cover my butt, I don't think any bad thought toward Mom's that work...people need to do what is best for themselves and their families). Everyone forgets once in a while. Can you imagine telling your husband, "Sorry you forgot your wallet but it was your responsibilty. So even though I could run it up to you, I'm not going to because you need to learn a lesson."

Jess

 

[It's A Happy Day]

Another parent of not yet teens (mine are 8 & 9) who leaves it on the kids shoulders to make sure they have what they need for their day at "work." That being said the lunch money is never an issue because our school system has an account system so I load their accounts with x amount of dollars and at lunch time they enter a pin code to deduct the cost from their accounts.

At home I have set up a bin system where all homework & papers that need to go back to school go in 1 bin and all corrected paperwork & newsletter type info papers go in the other. I check the homework in put it in their bags & they are responsible to get their snacks & any other stuff needed for school. You don't bring it you don't have it and they have been told that they can explain to the teacher why.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

My kids are younger 2 and 4th grade so I didn't vote, but I would bring them something they forgot. That is if it didn't happen a lot. Everyone forgets things once in a while. I know I do.

I have had to bring things to my husband at work a few times too. I can remember bringing him his cell phone once, basketball shoes once (he plays after work one night per week) and a folder with work things in it once. These things happened over the course of 15 years. No one is perfect.

 

[goofy4tink]

Voted 'no'. Why? Because our school system has asked us not to 'run stuff down to school' for the kids. They are trying to teach them responsibility, so from middle school (7th and 8th grades) we are asked not to bring them forgotten stuff.
My dd forgot some homework once...left it sitting in the printer!! She got a grade with about 10 pts off due to that...she hasn't forgotten anything important since that day.

 

[SaraJayne]

I give my kids one per semester. After that, I won't run anything up to school. It isn't a big issue and this works for us.

Yup, same here. After that, it's on them.

But that is for things like homework, uniforms, etc.

Honestly, I didn't even know people still brough lunch money every day. Our kids have a lunch account that we replenish when it gets low, so we never have to worry about daily lunch money.

 

[QueenRocks]

I voted yes. I can't remember the last time one of my kids forgot something, but I would bring it to them if they did.