Parents of College Freshman who are now Sophomores... UpDate 7/28/09

[Sandy V.]

I know, I should...but I am holding back because it actually makes it harder to actually "see" the time that is left, sounds weird I know, maybe when it gets closer. Halloween is going to be rough. It is DD's and my favorite holiday, sort of our Christmas if you will. Since it falls on a Friday we would've absolutely had a big party, would have been working on transforming the basement already. All the decorations in the stores coupled with Homecoming festivities at the High School this week ... I'm just not dealing too well.
I am going to send a Halloween box to DD to do up her room if she wants, and she is just a few blocks from a GoodWill store so I KNOW she will be poppping in there to see what she can create costume wise. The neighborhood is not the greates around the college so the kids come and trick or treat in the dorm buildings. DD is so excited, and knowing the weather will be nice, she can't wait to do a costume...in Illinois it is always a shame to have these awesome costumes covered by coats for Trick or Treats. Anyway, can't wait to try and video chat w/her tonight!

Pam, it's good to see you around again. I do understand how much you miss her - it's tough to send them away, although it does make things easier when they're having a good time at school and are fitting in.

 

[Sandy V.]

I buy cases of water for DS - he and roomie share a 4 cu. ft. fridge. Univ. rules, only 1 fridge per room. Roomie brought the fridge, DS bought the micro. Roomie started taking DS's water so DS started putting his initials on the caps of the bottles. They talked and came up with a plan. DS says they have agreed to a shelf each and a common shelf for the larger items, milk etc.
DS comes in last night and roomie has changed the initials on the caps from DS's initial to his initial. DS is furious

Now, I ask DS if he has addressed this with roomie - No, he's "too mad at the moment." I am sitting back watching all of this and I am slightly amused. DS is getting a lesson in standing up for himself. DS thinks he is this "tough guy" because he is huge and athletic, when the nick name so many coaches gave him over the years is more appropriate, "Gentle Giant" When we first arrived at the dorm, the roomie had arrived before him and had re-arrranged the room. The roomies bed was in front of the window and actually takes up more than his 1/2 of the room. I mention to DS that he is paying as much as roomie and if he doesn't like it he needs to address it. He doesn't. Roomie is a slob, DS comes in to find roomies clothes on his side of the room, DS did address this. Now roomie is taking his water..........I'm just sitting back waiting for DS to sort his roomie out. It is actually kind of amusing. DS doesn't find it amusing, but I do

I'd be more than a little hacked off if I were your DS. My first inclination would be to stop buying bottled water and see what happens. I would also consider buying a Brita water pitcher and a Nalgene bottle so your DS can fill up his own water supply as he needs it (and, to thrwart the roommate, I would NOT let him use the pitcher for the same purpose - I'd put it away someplace - I don't like folks who don't respect others' property!).

Let us know what happens!

 

[FINFAN]

Hi Sandy,
yeah, I've been MIA for numerous reasons the pst year or so...lot's of parental stuff gong on for both my and my DH's folks, then the college thing, job woes...pretty much the same stuff EVERYONE has going on, I just can't seem to manage it all as well as others! My hat's off to you all!
Anyway, yeah, she is VERY happy and for some reason did not come on to video chat last night and we have not heard from her still, so a little concerned, but not freaking out, a little disappointed( DS was REALLY bummed) but again, I know she is busy and things can change on a dime. Oh well, hopefully I will hear from her soon.
Melissa, I am envious!That's about the only way I could get DH to go into hock to visit DD, is if it was tied into taking care of his parents as well! Heading down numerous times to help my folks ( about 2 hours south of DD) wiped us out before she even got to the campus...but I ahve my change jar handy, feeding it as much as I can. I wish my son's school was more flexible on a day off here/there. All our institution days are on Tuesdays , I SWEAR it is done intentionally to keep kids from heading out of town.
Again, I ramble. ah well, I think what is making this the hardest of all is that it is just the beginning of her being gone for good. She is enjoying being gone SO MUCH that I pretty much know she will not return for anything permanent. However, the student loans MAY have some sort of deciding factor on that one.....

 

[Sandy V.]

Hi Sandy,
yeah, I've been MIA for numerous reasons the pst year or so...lot's of parental stuff gong on for both my and my DH's folks, then the college thing, job woes...pretty much the same stuff EVERYONE has going on, I just can't seem to manage it all as well as others! My hat's off to you all!
Anyway, yeah, she is VERY happy and for some reason did not come on to video chat last night and we have not heard from her still, so a little concerned, but not freaking out, a little disappointed( DS was REALLY bummed) but again, I know she is busy and things can change on a dime. Oh well, hopefully I will hear from her soon.
Melissa, I am envious!That's about the only way I could get DH to go into hock to visit DD, is if it was tied into taking care of his parents as well! Heading down numerous times to help my folks ( about 2 hours south of DD) wiped us out before she even got to the campus...but I ahve my change jar handy, feeding it as much as I can. I wish my son's school was more flexible on a day off here/there. All our institution days are on Tuesdays , I SWEAR it is done intentionally to keep kids from heading out of town.
Again, I ramble. ah well, I think what is making this the hardest of all is that it is just the beginning of her being gone for good. She is enjoying being gone SO MUCH that I pretty much know she will not return for anything permanent. However, the student loans MAY have some sort of deciding factor on that one.....

Hang in there, woman!!!

I'm sorry for all of the stresses in your life. Dealing with older parents while trying to figure out how to pay for college can really deal you a blow. It has us as well. Having two in college now with diminishing returns on investments doesn't help the situation at all. We take it day by day, week by week . . . there's not much else you can do. You're always welcome to come back to our thread, or I'll look for you here.

Hard to believe our DD is a junior in college and DS is a freshman. DD is planning on studying in Sweden this spring, provided she gets accepted into the program she wants. And DS is just having TOO much fun as a freshman, although I have been stunned at the amount of homework and study prep he's been doing (he types up all of his notes taken in his classes on a near-daily basis - I guess his mother's nagging about organization "took" somewhere along the way. ). He and his roommate get along very well, which has been pleasing. No water bottle wars like Melissa's DS has dealt with. He's on the cusp of joining a fraternity, which given his personality, would suit him very well. DD wasn't the type to join a sorority; the whole organized activity stuff would have irritated her. DS, on the other hand, would thrive with a brotherhood of guys to play intramural sports, ski, and hang out with. And hopefully study with too. Just proves that you raise them in the same home, but you certainly don't clone them!!

It's taken me a couple of weeks to get used to the silence around here. That has been one of the hardest things.

 

[FINFAN]

so got a VERY brief email from DD that she was ill last night and crashed..hmmm....possible, yes...off the hook, no.
to be continued....

 

[mamacatnv]

so got a VERY brief email from DD that she was ill last night and crashed..hmmm....possible, yes...off the hook, no.
to be continued....

Sorry Pam at least she has sufaced. I know how disappointed you and your DS were. I took DS's girly friend aside a couple of weeks ago and reminded her that DS has a sister who misses him. They spend a lot of time with her family and going to her brothers football events. Her brothers are the same age as DD and I was getting irritated with the whole thing.

I think it is harder for us - the kids have all new experiences and freedom and we are still going about our daily routines with a missing piece.

 

[luvflorida]

I think it is harder for us - the kids have all new experiences and freedom and we are still going about our daily routines with a missing piece.

Yes, exactly!!

for them, but for us

I need a new hobby.

 

[mamacatnv]

Yes, exactly!!

for them, but for us

I need a new hobby.

I need a life, anyone know where I can buy one

With DS going to college the years of the Boosters, sports parent etc. came to an abrupt end and I have a lot of extra time on my hands. I do things with DD's school but the PTO is not as big or busy as the Football and the HS Booster Club was. Plus, since I have been there done that I get very frustrated with the newbies who do not have a clue when it comes to organizing an event or a fundraiser etc and do not want to listen. So, I have to sit there and bite my tongue while I watch them fall on their faces. Very fustrating for a control freak like me .......

Seriously, my house has never been kept so clean & picked up. I have all this nervous energy and since DH is doing the "whats the big deal" thing, I'm all alone in my loneliness...... It does get easier every day........ DH thinks the house is clean because DS is not there to mess it up, yeah right, the man is clueless

When they were born, we knew this day would come, just didn't think it would happen so fast and so sudden. Oh here I go, being pathetic again

 

[madge]

Yes, exactly!!

for them, but for us

I need a new hobby.

I started a new project almost immediately after DS left for school. That helped a lot. Actually, it might have helped too much... it's definitely keeping me busy. LOLOL. What helps here is that my kids are younger - they still need me. I've got a 6 year old ... so I'm a ways away from empty nest time.

DS texts a lot - to me and to his siblings. That's pretty much the only way we're communicating these days.

 

[luvflorida]

It's just me, my husband and the cat. I jump for joy when I hear someone is coming to visit! We do have a new grandson to dote on, and I'm thrilled that we get to see him several times a week.

I've always wanted to work with animals in some capacity, so I'm looking into volunteering as a docent at the local zoo or desert museum. I worked with little people for 15 years (taught first grade) so now I want to spend my time with animals.

MAMACATNV- I know what you mean. Not only is DD18 not around, but neither are her friends. I used to spend hours every week driving daughter to and from dance, gymnastic lessons, and guitar lessons. We spent a lot of time attending dance competitions, out of state dance workshops and intensives, traveling, shopping, eating out, etc. etc.

MADGE- My favorite new place is Michael's Craft Store. I've worked on a few small projects and would like to do more.

 

[donac]

I am the same way. After 9 years with the band parents it is strange not to have something to do every weekend. I have been working on projects that I have started in the past to keep me busy. I have started knitting and crocheting some baby blankets to give away. I made a friend's new grandson a small one that they used in the NICU and it was just the right size so I thought I would use up some yarn and make a few more. It feels good to do something for someone who really would appreciate it.

I just spent an hour on the phone helping ds with his calculus (I teach AP calc at high school). He sounded tired but he was also hungry. He was in a lab until 6:30 and came right back to his room to call me about calc. He has also been going since 8 this morning. He was going to get some food and maybe watch a movie and then do a little studying for his calc test tomorrow. At least it is not until 12:30 so he has some time to study. He was a little miffed about his chem test last week. He got a 82 (not bad for the first test) but the guy couldn't really curve it because someone got a 99. I told him 82 is really good for the first test.

 

[ColoradoBuffaloMom]

It's good to hear how all of us and our kids are doing. My daughter is only 40 minutes away so we have actually seen her every week since she gets out of class at noon on Fridays. She's been coming home Fridays and going back Saturday afternoons so at least she isn't spending every weekend all weekend here. She likes her roommate and says the classes are not too hard(yet!) She did really well on her first Chem test so that was a relief to her. I miss her a lot but I am thrilled she is doing well.

I went back to work full time this summer so that has kept me busy. I am actually working on a college campus so it has been exciting to see some of my daughter's friends and to be around college kids.

My son is a HS senior this year so I think I am already going through withdrawal and am not looking forward to next year. I am very involved in the Booster Club at his school so between that and his soccer games, I know next year I will miss all of the craziness. I keep teasing that I need an 8th grader so I am not done with this part of my life.

I keep trying to convince myself that I've prepared for the empty nest and my kids are good kids (most of the time ...) and are prepared for college but I know life is changing. Is it normal to be happy and sad at the same time

I am so appreciative of all the comments on this thread just knowing it isn't just me feeling all these emotions.

 

[madge]

did anyone else's kids have a Fall break recently? (or coming up soon?)

DS was home for a couple of nights. It was good to see him, do the laundry and have everyone under the same roof for short time.

Overall, things seem to be going well. He's got one class that's giving him fits, but is doing well in the others. The incentive of keeping the scholarship so he can stay seems to be working

Socially, he's made friends, gets along with the room mate, and has plenty to do. The fraternity he's interested in joining (they have spring rush) has invited him & his new BFF to their homecoming party next weekend. He's over the moon about that.

Hard to believe it's midterms already!

 

[ColoradoBuffaloMom]

My daughter was just home for two days for her fall break. She goes to school only 30 minutes away so we've seen her quite a bit so fall break just extended her stay at home to 4 days rather than 1.

It has been great having her close by. I'm happy she has gotten involved in her school and is doing well academically. All in all it has been a very good begining for her (and me

 

[mamacatnv]

DS has spent the night twice in the past couple of weeks (we are closer to his girly friend than the Univ. is) He is now coming home for dinner 1 night a week so we can all catch up on Heroes that I record every Monday.

He is in the middle of midterms - aced the English 96%, he is a little worried about the math and is bored silly over music appreciation but he has been staying on top of things. He started his part time job at a new all sports store that just opened here in town. He is working in womens shoes and is really enjoying it. (Maybe he will meet a new girly, one that has manners unlike current girly )

He decided to turn down the Fraternity that had been pursuing him, he felt too much pressure and thought the fee's were too high. He felt that his fee's covered their alcohol bill and that is not his scene so he didn't feel he would get his moneys worth. He does still play on their flag football team and he along with several roommmates have formed an ultimate frisbee team, they will join the intramural in the spring. Several of the guys on the frisbee team are from Vegas and since our weather is cooling, they are freezing. They show up to their evening game dressed in 6 layers, DS who is in shorts and flip flops finds the whole thing hillarious.

He is doing great. We are all still adjusting and still miss him but we are settling into our routines. My house is significantly cleaner, the groceries last so much longer and the laundry doesn't pile up as quickly. I am looking forward to Christmas break..........

You all have a great day - glad someone bumped this thread back up, I was thinking of you all just this morning

 

[Green Tea]

We all went to visit for family weekend. Nice time. He is very happy, his friends are nice, and all seems great. I've adjusted to the change as well.

 

[madge]

You all have a great day - glad someone bumped this thread back up, I was thinking of you all just this morning

it took me forever to find it. LOLOL.

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

Well DS and his OCD roommate seem to be getting along fine. I'm hoping the roommate's neatness will rub off on DS He found about 3 or 4 kids that he knows from home and they spend most of their time hanging out together.

He also learned to take up any offers of free food One of the groups he is involved in had a welcome dinner that he was invited to - only problem was that it was a vegan meal and he is certainly not a vegetarian. He went to the cafe and bought 2 cheeseburgers when it was over

 

[mamacatnv]

Well DS and his OCD roommate seem to be getting along fine. I'm hoping the roommate's neatness will rub off on DS He found about 3 or 4 kids that he knows from home and they spend most of their time hanging out together.

He also learned to take up any offers of free food One of the groups he is involved in had a welcome dinner that he was invited to - only problem was that it was a vegan meal and he is certainly not a vegetarian. He went to the cafe and bought 2 cheeseburgers when it was over

My DS has learned that on Wednesday nights the kids with the Platinum (3 meal swipes a day, 7 days a week but they expire on Wednesday evenings) they will be down in the cafe "buying" dinner for anyone interested using up their meal swipes.
My DS's meal plan is 1 level below that and don't expire - his trouble is he is going thru way more "foodbucks" than he is meal swipes. Ayeyiyiyiyi

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

his trouble is he is going thru way more "foodbucks" than he is meal swipes. Ayeyiyiyiyi

My son had the equivalent of $490 in foodbucks and only 10 meal swipes for this semester. He hates the food at the main dinning hall and has been eating at one of the cafe's. I keep telling him he needs to EAT - he is 6'4" and only weighs 148 pounds His problem is that it costs him at least 10 foodbucks every time he gets a meal at the cafe so he isn't eating as much as he should every day. I told him I would rather he eat more and I can always add to his foodbucks.