Parents/Grandparents kissing kids on the lips?

[DumboPrincess]

How do you feel about it?
Is it okay?
Do you do it?
At what age (if any) do you stop?
How do you handle it if you were raised no and spouse was raised yes?

 

[bkreitzel]

mmm, i have never thought about it!
yes, I do it to/from my two DD's...age 5 and 3.
No, grandparents do not.
No, my parents do not.
I think when they are not comf. or I am not we will switch to cheeks???
should i be thinking more about it???

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

I always kiss my girls on the lips (they are 3 and 21 m) but I'm not to into their grandparents doing it. I don't wana kiss my FIL or MIL on the lips, so I don't want to have to do it (in a wierd way) though my kids.... I know its strange, but you KWIM... right?? Mostly though, the girls just kiss the grandparents on the cheeks, though either way wouldn't bother me.

 

[nessz79]

How do you feel about it? I was brought up with this and never thought anything of it as a child. By teenagerhood I no longer kissed my Dad on the lips (that was mutual. I think my dad didn't care for it, either). Too weird. My mom continued but I try to do the Latin kiss to her instead. She got the hint after a few months of it. Anyway, weirds me out for adult to adult, but I think it's an American subcultural thing.
Is it okay? Yes. There was nothing even closely sexual to it. It made me uncomfortable as I got older, but that was more due to my perceived reactions of strangers.
Do you do it? See above. I do kiss my 2 boys on the lips when we are at home. They are ages 5 and 3. Sometimes I kiss them on the lips in public. Depends on whether or not the people around me seem to not be phobic about it.
At what age (if any) do you stop? For me, I would say no later than early teenagerhood. Probably around 11-13. The kids will probably be uncomfortable with it first, but you never know.
How do you handle it if you were raised no and spouse was raised yes? That's not my situation. However, DH came from the "other side". I think that he thought it was weird and uncomfortable when my mom has kissed him on the lips! LOL- but I explained that it was just the way she was raised, etc. Anyway, she has really backed off since realizing that some people think it's weird. DH realized that it is NOT sexual in any way, shape, or form and is not so weirded out anymore.

In a nutshell, my responses are in bold. DH is Hispanic so they do a lot of kissing on the cheek. I prefer that to the way I was raised and have been slowly converting my mom

 

[Suzanna1973]

I kiss my mother on the lips when I leave her...always have...always will.
I kiss my DD whose grown and out of the house on the lips when I leave her...always have....always will.

My DS is a teenager and feels that kissing mom is kinda gross and doesn't want to do it anymore....totally understandable!!!

My FIL kisses me on the lips to tell me hello...it's just his way, has never bothered me!

I kiss my DH on the lips...always have...always will

 

[twooley2]

I think if it makes someone feel uncomfortable than whenever it becomes so and this should be made clear. Of course some people may find it strange that another feels uncomfortable when no harm is being intended. As long as the person feeling uncomfortable realizes this is may be just their preconceived perception of what is acceptable in their space. I dont think it should ever be a rule one way or the other.

 

[vcgirl925]

I do. Never thought anything of it before i got married. My dh is hispanic and they never kiss on the lips, they think it's totally gross that people do that. I think if a child becomes uncomfortable with it then a parent should switch to cheeks. If they don't feel comfortable kissing their grandparents on the lips then they shouldn't. My parents usually kiss on the cheek.

 

[letthewookiewin]

Spouse and I were both raised as "no's". When the DS's were younger they would both give us quick little pecks on the lips, we called it a "lippie". When the boys hit about 4 or 5, DH didn't feel comfortable doing this anymore so they would just hug. As long as their comfortable giving me "lippies" I will let them. I have already told them that when they feel they are "too old" to do this in front of their friends to let me know and we will just switch to a high five.
As far as the grandparents, they just kiss the grandmother's on the cheecks or foreheads.

 

[Jakesmom504]

DH and I always kiss DS on the lips but he's only 4. I don't think it's something we would always do as he gets older but who knows, I never really thought about it.

Funny thing is as soon as I read this I immediately thought of an adorable picture I have of my grandfather and I at my wedding where we are kissing on the lips but I'm leaning into him and pursing my lips the way a little kid would. He always kisses people like that and if it was anyone else I would be grossed out but not from him. Anyway he came up to me at the reception and kissed me and when the photographer saw, she made us do it again and took the picture. Sorry for getting a little OT, but it was an awesome memory and really cute!

However, if someone other than my parents were to kiss my son on the lips I think I would be grossed out.

 

[TheRatPack]

We're cheek kissers 2 of my 5 kids are big droolers, one has his tongue out 24/7....so again, not comfortable kissing in the mouth unless it's with my husband

Three of my kids are hispanic (adopted)...I had no idea that their culture found kissing on the lips strange, guess it's good they were adopted in to a cheek kissing family LOL

 

[ssdeverell]

DH and I kiss DD1 on the lips, but she started it. DH's family does not show any affection, and my family has always done so on the cheek. When DD learned to pucker up a couple of months ago, she went straight for the lips. I always thought it was strange growing up to see my friends do that, but once it was my own child, I kind of like it. I think DH is more uncomfortable, as he tries to always kiss her on the forehead. Sometimes she lets him, but most of the time she will search out your lips - or she is such a tease, she will pucker up but then turn at the last minute and laugh at you for trying.

 

[thegrimdwarf]

It skeeves me out to kiss my kids on the lips. My husband is Hispanic, and as stated earlier, this is a BIG no-no in their culture. So we're cheeks and foreheads. My parents are practically droids when it comes to displays of affection, so my kids are lucky if they get hugs from them, lol.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

It skeeves me out to kiss my kids on the lips. My husband is Hispanic, and as stated earlier, this is a BIG no-no in their culture. So we're cheeks and foreheads. My parents are practically droids when it comes to displays of affection, so my kids are lucky if they get hugs from them, lol.

Seriously? You skeeve your own kids?

 

[letthewookiewin]

DH and I kiss DD1 on the lips, but she started it. DH's family does not show any affection, and my family has always done so on the cheek. When DD learned to pucker up a couple of months ago, she went straight for the lips. I always thought it was strange growing up to see my friends do that, but once it was my own child, I kind of like it. I think DH is more uncomfortable, as he tries to always kiss her on the forehead. Sometimes she lets him, but most of the time she will search out your lips - or she is such a tease, she will pucker up but then turn at the last minute and laugh at you for trying.

Awwwww, that's so cute!!

 

[Momvic5]

My DH and I kiss our children on the lips, cheeks, and foreheads. My DH came from a family that did not show affection with touch so his big thing with our children is to shower them with hugs and kisses. They are used to it and have no problem with kissing family(Grandma and Great Grandma included) on the lips.


Our oldest just turned 12yrs old so we are both aware that the day is coming when our son will prefer just a hug. Right now, we take advantage of his generous kisses, but when the time comes, we will both take what he is willing to give.

 

[t-beri]

I am almost 31 and I still kiss my parents and grands on the lips. I kiss my kids on the lips and so does my husband. I don't think my inlaws do but I'm sure my parents do. I even kiss some of my friends on the lips. I am southern so I am a big hugger, I hug everyone and some people hate that. I think it's a comfort level thing. You can definitely tell who's hand you're gonna shake vs. who you're gonna hug. I have friends of my husbands who will kiss me on the lips when they see me, I have girlfriends who will too. But there are definitely pple that you know are hand shakers or Air Kissers- they don't even kiss your cheek but don't want to come off stuffy or impolite. I never have EVER given it 2 seconds of thought, it's just a natural thing, a kiss. I am so NOT sensitive to personal space boundries....of my own I mean. I am more comfortable around friends who would go in my fridge w/out asking and lean on me while we watch a movie on the couch. I have a friend who I think I have NEVER hugged and it kinda has been a big deal to me that in 5 years she hasn't taken down that spacial wall for me.
....now I'm gonna be uber conscious of who I kiss on the lips....

 

[t-beri]

DH just informed me that my son who just turned 10 last month is starting to turn his cheek for bedtime kisses...so maybe kids will let you know when. It bothers me that he is starting to not want to hug his grands and now to know he won't kiss his dad on the lips. I had always hoped to raise them to always be affectionate. I come from a pretty stoic family and I want them to be more openly affectionate to their family.

 

[Jenvenza]

I kiss my DD (11 months) on the lips, and she gives us "kisses" on the lips as well. When someone looks at that as being sexual or wrong in any way, then there is something wrong with that person. I have seen this debate get way out of hand time and time again.

 

[Jenvenza]

It skeeves me out to kiss my kids on the lips. My husband is Hispanic, and as stated earlier, this is a BIG no-no in their culture. So we're cheeks and foreheads. My parents are practically droids when it comes to displays of affection, so my kids are lucky if they get hugs from them, lol.

My husband is hispanic as well, and I have never heard of this being a "no-no" in their culture. Actually quite the opposite. Maybe that was just your husband's family. I wouldnt group that as a cutural thing.

 

[Momvic5]

DH just informed me that my son who just turned 10 last month is starting to turn his cheek for bedtime kisses...so maybe kids will let you know when. It bothers me that he is starting to not want to hug his grands and now to know he won't kiss his dad on the lips. I had always hoped to raise them to always be affectionate. I come from a pretty stoic family and I want them to be more openly affectionate to their family.

I think most children go through a period where they pull back a little. Take graciously what he is willing to give, and hopefully, he will come back to it with time.