Parents Do not have to attend soccer games!!! UPDATE

[Mkrop]

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Bingo.... I wish I had put that rule into effect on our daughters last birthday party at the bouncy place... I was amazed at the number of parents that dropped the kids off right on time, but didn't bother to come back and get them until way after the party was over.... We had to wait for over an hour until one of those fine loving parents decided to come back for their kid.... I can only imagine if I was going to coach a team I wouldn't want to have to wait around for an extra hour every time there was a game just so a parent that decided to use it as cheap baby sitting decided to show up.

You know what it happens, it is what happens when you decide to be a coach, but if a parent is constantly violating the rule then their kid rides the bench. Punish the parents who need it, not everyone who is timely to pick up their kid

 

[5lilfish]

My 12U daughter rode her bike, about 3/4 of a mile, to practice with a friend for the entire fall season. She not only stays home alone but she babysits. She certainly does not need me to watch every soccer practice that she goes to (she also plays travel soccer). We do watch some of the practices, and all of the game, because we enjoy it, but it is crazy that we have to sit at practice twice a week. We have 5 kids...we cannot sit at every practice. Nothing else would ever get done.

I definitely think this is to cover their own butts. I can understand it for 8U and possibly 10U.

Jess

 

[cari12]

We used to ride our bikes to and from practice from time to time when we were that age. Some of our practices started before my parents made it home from work since their schedules weren't consistent. I can't remember my parents being at my practices at that point for any sport. Our baseball fields were at the end of my grandparents street so we'd bike to their house and then walk to practice.

I am surprised more kids that age don't get themselves to practice. I know on the DIS kids are over protected snowflakes a lot of the time but out in the real world kids ride bikes to practice.I get their reasoning but I don't think they thought it all the way through.

Our kids couldn't get themselves to practise, too far to walk/bike. In our real world, we have one huge field (turf because we get a lot of rain here) where all the soccer is played in our city. Most families do not live within walking/biking distance. And since you are there anyway, take an interest in your kid and stay and watch.

 

[sam_gordon]

And since you are there anyway, take an interest in your kid and stay and watch.

So parents that don't stay and watch AREN'T interested in their kids? Can you find a wider brush to paint with? There are benefits to parents NOT watching their kids practice (at a certain age). There are also benefits to having parents watching.

 

[cari12]

Or instead of insulting children maybe you could realize that not everyone lives in neighborhoods where the practice field is accesible by bicycle or walking.

Soccer fields and football fields are no where near any homes, and our baseball league has fields scattered all over our town, big college like town.

I guess the people who can stay with their kids at practice are ones who only have one child, and have two parents who never work late or travel DH travels a lot for work or has late meetings or trade shows. I have to get two kids to two different places that are no where near each other, not happening and we carpool a lot around here.

And most of the coaches I know including DH would perfer the parents not stick around bc the kids focus better if they are not waving to mom or dad every 5 minutes or dad is not yelling "helpful" tips from the sidelines.

Bolded is so not true. We have 2 kids and both work full-time but when I schedule their activities, I ensure they are at times that at least one of us can be there for things that are outdoors like soccer. Swimming is 45 minutes and the parents are expected to be in the building. Some of their other activities like theatre school, is 3 hours and the parents are expected to leave.

 

[happygirl]

pratices aren't meant to be free babysitting services

 

[mamacatnv]

Knee Jerk reaction by some board or oversite committee.

I can understand mandating that children have someone present at practice to act on the behalf of their parent but to mandate where that adult comes from is going over the line and just opening themselves up for lots of grief, arguing etc.

A little common sense goes a long way.
"All children must be accompanied to practice by an adult or an older sibling 16 or older."
The baseball board I sat on for 6 years used that wording. We added siblings at 16 because in our area that is the general age of driving.

When my DS played baseball and soccer, several of us parents used to take turns being the parent in charge for practice attendance. This worked out great.

 

[mjkacmom]

Bolded is so not true. We have 2 kids and both work full-time but when I schedule their activities, I ensure they are at times that at least one of us can be there for things that are outdoors like soccer. Swimming is 45 minutes and the parents are expected to be in the building. Some of their other activities like theatre school, is 3 hours and the parents are expected to leave.

How do you do that? For rec soccer, the coaches decide when to have practices after the teams are formed. When you sign up, you have no clue when practices are, same with little league and softball.

No one here lives more than 5 minutes from any field, and parents really don't stay for practices. DH prefers no parents, because they end up telling kids what to do, and he needs them to listen to him

 

[cari12]

So parents that don't stay and watch AREN'T interested in their kids? Can you find a wider brush to paint with? There are benefits to parents NOT watching their kids practice (at a certain age). There are also benefits to having parents watching.

Can you be more defensive? That's not what I said. Every time someone writes a comment, it does not mean it is a dig at others. I was just making light of the situation that parents are required to be there and people being outraged by that rather than just enjoying watching their kids play sports.

 

[5lilfish]

Our kids couldn't get themselves to practise, too far to walk/bike. In our real world, we have one huge field (turf because we get a lot of rain here) where all the soccer is played in our city. Most families do not live within walking/biking distance. And since you are there anyway, take an interest in your kid and stay and watch.

Not staying to watch every practice does not mean I am not taking an interest in my kid.

Either me, my DH or when we have a 3-way conflict, Grandma/Grandpa are at just about every game. Even with 5 kids, in all their years of playing, I can count on 1 hand the number of times that one of my kids played in a game and did not have at least one close family member (mom, dad, grandma, grandpa and once we called in their 20 yr old cousin) watching them play....and just about always it is mom or dad (or both). On the other hand, I have no idea why we would sit at each and every practice. If we did, that is all we would ever do. I am extremely interested and very much there to cheer my kids on. On the other hand, I think they are perfectly fine being at a soccer practice without me. They do not need me at every practice...I'd even say it is healthy for them to do a few things without me.

Around here at the 12U level, dropping kids off at practice is the norm, not the exception. Often when I do stay, and I do stay now and then, I am the only one there.

Jess

 

[5lilfish]

pratices aren't meant to be free babysitting services

At 12U my DD does not need a babysitter. She stays home alone and sometimes she IS the babysitter.

Jess

 

[tvguy]

I would hope there is a little wiggle room, but I don't find it unreasonable. As others have mentioned, too many parents use Little League/Soccer etc as babysitting.
And having been involved in both sports, one as a board member, the reality is, if a parent doesn't like a rule in a league, there are plenty of other leagues set up by parents who don't like rules for their child to play in. So, as long as there are options so the kid can play somewhere, that's fine with me.

 

[golfgal]

Not staying to watch every practice does not mean I am not taking an interest in my kid.

Either me, my DH or when we have a 3-way conflict, Grandma/Grandpa are at just about every game. Even with 5 kids, in all their years of playing, I can count on 1 hand the number of times that one of my kids played in a game and did not have at least one close family member (mom, dad, grandma, grandpa and once we called in their 20 yr old cousin) watching them play....and just about always it is mom or dad (or both). On the other hand, I have no idea why we would sit at each and every practice. If we did, that is all we would ever do. I am extremely interested and very much there to cheer my kids on. On the other hand, I think they are perfectly fine being at a soccer practice without me. They do not need me at every practice...I'd even say it is healthy for them to do a few things without me.

Around here at the 12U level, dropping kids off at practice is the norm, not the exception. Often when I do stay, and I do stay now and then, I am the only one there.

Jess

Besides this, most 12 year old want some time away from parents and LIKE not having them shadow everything they do. You can be very interested in your children's activities without seeing every single second of every single game/practice/whatever

 

[Mkrop]

Bolded is so not true. We have 2 kids and both work full-time but when I schedule their activities, I ensure they are at times that at least one of us can be there for things that are outdoors like soccer. Swimming is 45 minutes and the parents are expected to be in the building. Some of their other activities like theatre school, is 3 hours and the parents are expected to leave.

I am glad you have jobs with that type of flexibility. Not everyone does. DH can be in another state for a week. Which kid do I choose to go to practice if I need to be at both? Should DH tell his client in a meeting, hey I need to go stand at a football practice for 2 hours instead of talking to you and having them work on their contract. He wouldnt have a job and we wouldnt have a home or money for the practices if he treated his clients like that.

Or how about other jobs, excuse me Your Honor I need to leave the courtroom now so I can be on the baseball field to watch my kid while my wife who needs to leave the operating room to go watch my other kid on the soccer field.

Our kids couldn't get themselves to practise, too far to walk/bike. In our real world, we have one huge field (turf because we get a lot of rain here) where all the soccer is played in our city. Most families do not live within walking/biking distance. And since you are there anyway, take an interest in your kid and stay and watch.

And which kid gets chosen to have this interest in.

How about the kid who performs better when the parent is not there on the sidelines, my youngest is the perfect example of that. He loved to run over and ask me questions or ask how he was doing, or give me thumbs up instead of watching what he was doing. He does much better now that he is old enough to stay without me.

I have extreme interest in how my kids are doing in sports, we talk to the coaches and we go to every game (at least one of us, if there is a conflict) Not being able to be there, or maybe shouldnt be there does not equate to not having an interest in my kid

 

[cari12]

How do you do that? For rec soccer, the coaches decide when to have practices after the teams are formed. When you sign up, you have no clue when practices are, same with little league and softball.

No one here lives more than 5 minutes from any field, and parents really don't stay for practices. DH prefers no parents, because they end up telling kids what to do, and he needs them to listen to him

Some of our sports are centralized to one or 2 parks. So we can plan because we have one soccer park/field (turf) and the soccer assoc. posts the days and times on the website prior to registration. I guess to get all ages/times on the field the right number of hours per week, the association sets the times by scheduling the field. Baseball, there are 2 fields and it is more iffy as the parent coaches decide on practise nights. We have only done one season of baseball as DD8 wasn't into it and DS6 did spring soccer instead of baseball last season.
However, that means most of the parents are driving as they are too far away to walk/bike. So the parents stay since they are there anyways. It also helps build community to stay and get to know the other parents or visit with parents from your childs school.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

If parents were abusing this program as a drop off program where they can just meander on back whenever they pleased, it is understandable why they tightened things up.

Will it prevent some from participating? Sure. But every program nationwide has its pros and cons and we all can't do everything. We play on a soccer program that has games and practices on the same day of the week. On game days, it is just games. We do that because multi-day practices and weekend games was overkill. We are just doing it for fun.

Crying foul on flexibility is silly. If it doesn't work for you, find another program. That is just life.

OP: I just wanted to point out that correlation does not equal causation. While you may make sure that your child isn't left to be babysat after practice is over, how do you know that others weren't. It is a strange jump to assume that it was because of a scandal that had nothing to do with your soccer program.

 

[descovy]

Sorry, but I think it's a whacked out rule too.

My kids don't play soccer. They do take dance. Parents are asked NOT to watch (want the student focusing on the teacher, not the mom) They offer a limited seating area, but not enough for every mom (and siblings!) to sit.

And when you have several kids, and they all want to dance/sport/music/scouts you have a lot of overlap and running around. I have 3 kids, they each get to take 1 dance class, 1 scout meeting, and the younger 2 have church group on Wednesday, and the oldest has hers on Sunday. So how do you get to 9 activities in 7 days? You overlap! You drop one off and pick up the other.

I can't imagine siting with sibling in tow waiting for EVERY class/practice to be over.

In our girl scouts parents don't stay. They meet at the leader's house. 10 girls plus 10 parents (and siblings!) watching? She doesn't live in a mansion!

Church group parents don't stay. We have 50 in our elementry program and 90 in our Jr High program... in a rather average sized building. Can you imagine if all 90 jr-hi-ers had their 90 mommas (and siblings!)sitting around waiting?



I love my kids, I am interested in them. AND JUST BECAUSE I DROP MY KIDS OFF, I DON'T VIEW ACTIVITIES AS BABYSITTING! (Actually I lead 2 of the girl scout troops, and volunteer at one of the church groups. Lemme tell you, all those bodies would majorly be in our way and cramp our style! I don't wanna lead a scout meeting for 11 year olds with all their mommas and baby brothers sitting and staring)

I don't see us being able to take on an activity where I had to sit and wait at every practice with my other children in tow. If we were part of that soccer program, my family would have to quit

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

Wow. How sad, horribly sad. If that was me, I would have never been able to play sports because my mom was a single parent who could not go to most of my practices. At least they could have one "guardian" as in your parent(s) could sign off on someone else watching the kid. Such as, there were 3 of us who always went to practice together and one parent took us. Parents could have that person as the "guardian".

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

Wow. How sad, horribly sad. If that was me, I would have never been able to play sports because my mom was a single parent who could go to most of my practices. At least they could have one "guardian" as in your parent(s) could sign off on someone else watching the kid. Such as, there were 3 of us who always went to practice together and one parent took us. Parents could have that person as the "guardian".

That would be a great idea. I always stayed with my kids, but that's the way it worked out. I know parents who are flying from one place to the next, it's exhausting just to watch them. I wouldn't have a problem being the intermittent guardian of one of the girls at practice. I think it's more because people start showing up late and taking advantage and leaving the coaches to wait until they show up. I'd get annoyed at that.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I love my kids, I am interested in them. AND JUST BECAUSE I DROP MY KIDS OFF, I DON'T VIEW ACTIVITIES AS BABYSITTING!

I cannot speak for others, but I am not referring to the actual activity. I'm talking about the parents who are 10, 20, 30 minutes late.

While I do drop my kids off at places, the guidelines are strict that they are not a babysitter and it is expected the student be picked up no later than 5 minutes after the end of the activity.

My kids have also been in activities that were clearly defined as parent participation or not a drop off program. My presence was expected. Clearly if I could not do that--well, my kids wouldn't participate in that activity.

As it is, my kids are in multiple activities and since I am just one person, I have to schedule them accordingly. Being continually late to pick them up is not acceptable just because I am dropping one kid over at this activity over here.

I can understand it for soccer for all sorts of reasons, though the ages are a bit of a question mark for me. U10 maybe, but not U12.