Parents are something else.... **long**

[RitaZ.]

Is anybody else bothered by the fact that the OP started out right away labelling the kids as "a good kid" and "a bad kid?"

I know what you're saying, but I've noticed that people in general, not just the OP, sometimes start off describing a scenario/incident with such "facts" to prove their point.

Cathryn~ Whether the mom overreacted is really irrelevant at this point, since a police report has already been filed. I think that some very valid points have been made in several posts, IMO, worthy of consideration. You can't change how the mom has decided to pursue this, I know you're upset about that. All you can do is take action from your side of the issue and remember that not everyone will see things your way. Like another poster suggested, maybe there is some history between the two boys which could be the reason the mom decided to take it further. You did say that the two boys aren't friends, maybe there is more there.

I have two boys, a 14 yr. old and a 10 yr. old. The 14 yr. old has never shown interest in guns. The 10 yr. old is fascinated by the Star Wars toy guns, so he has a few. DD's friends (girls) like to play with them too.

First thing I would do: Call my local police department and find out what the laws are on these toys.

If they are legal in your area, then consider the potential for injuries or facing another situation like the one that just occurred. When you take all that into account, it just doesn't seem like much fun to me.

Like I said in another post, I'd consider what happened a warning. What if a pellet had hit the kid's eye? Many parents out there wouldn't hesitate to sue over that. Maybe taking the kids to an indoor laser tag place or something similar would be a safer alternative.

The problem that I have with these type of toy guns is that they look too much like the real thing. I can't quite put my finger on it, but any game where pellets are shot at one another really bothers me.

In the end, it doesn't matter what any of us thinks, we are just giving our opinions based on the information that you provided. It's your situation to handle as you see fit. Good luck!

I just wanted to add that since you feel this boy is trouble, then maybe it's time to consider severing this friendship with him.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

Sorry, but I have seen problem kids get away with anything and everything.... only to spend all of their time trying to get others in trouble.

Was the gun actually aimed at this kid, or did he reach out in front of it? Was the gun aimed at something else? I would have a lot of questions, that is for sure. And Dustin would no longer be allowed anywhere near my house, let alone my son's "toys".

Sorry, but we have had kids destroy restrooms, stab others with forks, shoot others with a bow and arrow, etc. etc. And they are let off the hook because they can't control themselves. I just don't buy it. Sounds to me like Dustin's mommy needs to worry a little more about her son and less about bothering others.

 

[mommaU4]

Boys are boys - and until youve got teenage ones, you may not even know what Im talking about. They like to be sweaty. They like to fart. And they seem to enjoy pain, as well.

Actually that sounds like some grown men I know.


Even if guns are not allowed in the house kids will still be fascinated with them. My twins girls (age 5) make "guns" out of their Legos. So for those who are banning guns in their homes, don't assume it will end kids curiosity over them.

I was also wondering exactly how this happened? Did Scott aim at his hand on purpose? Was it an accident?
I just can't imagine a kid being arrested and finger printed over this. How scary. I don't know why Dustin's mom had to take it so far especially when there was no injury. I could understand a little more if her son was hurt, but no harm no foul. Why be so extreme??

 

[Buckalew11]

You know, I can't read any of this and not think about the video games and the guns and violence in them. I'm wondering if parents put restrictions on their kids playing those kind of games and "shooting" people in the video games like they do with their kids playing in RL.

I'd sever the ties with Dustin too--for the reason you say, CathrynRose. She's a time bomb. You could be next.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

I have tried for hours to stay away from this thread. But I cannot help but think the OP is just like the "something else" she quoted in the title.

Twice you have used the phrase "they are boys" as if that should make it all better - that you permit your son to have an airsoft and are aware that he and his friends shoot each other with them.

The mother was probably worried about her son getting hurt next time - what if it was an eye? At the very least I hope all the kids learn a lesson about proper gun safety.

This run in with the law is not going to ruin the kids life - just probably scare him enough not to point a gun at anyone.

 

[Mom2be]

Amanda - please. Apparently "moments of stupidity" are grounds for arrest??

Good luck Mom2Be. We'll see what tune you'll be singing in 15 years.

I can tell you in 15 years my sons and daughters won't be pointing toy guns at each other as a way of entertainment. Did I NOT SAY that I thought involving the police was over the top? Why yes I think I did - thank you very much. But it seems to me you want to excuse this kids behaviour because of what you perceived to be a GOOD KID. And yes there are moments of stupidity that are grounds for arrest - drunk driving comes to mind. But obviously if I've had a clean record my whole life I should be excused if I get arrested for drunk driving. Please - your pissed off because not everyone is agreeing with you and questioning your parenting because you let your kid go out and shoot other children with fake guns. Maybe if you weren't so busy looking down your nose you would read what was actually written versus what you perceive to be written.

~Amanda

Just so you can actually read what I said - I'll even quote it for you.

While I think taking the matter to the police and filing assault charges against Scott is over the top - I can certainly understand the mother's feelings. Sure maybe to you she shouldn't get upset but lets look at the some facts.

A) in the summer when the boys are shooting each other I assume they all have a gun. And therefore it is at least a "fair" fight.

B) For this instance her son was unarmed.

C) It is known that Scott and Dustin are not friends - maybe she felt her child was being picked on by Scott - after all other boys were there - why would Scott choose to shoot at Dustin?

D) In the summer the kids are running and aware of the "game" they are playing - in this instance Dustin was taken by surprise and was unaware.

Scott made a mistake and now he has to pay the consequences of that mistake.

 

[California Girl]

kids shooting at other kids with anything is stupid. your son is lucky he didn't get arrested. a friend who is a state cop nearly shot a kid who was carrying a pellet gun out of the woods and wouldn't put it down. it's not a real gun he kept saying. take those into a school around here and you're likely to be expelled for a minimum of a year. i get so sick of the boys will be boys defense. as for your good kids, bad kids analysis, give me a break. the only difference between good kids and bad kids is what they get away with. the boys were all doing exactly the same thing. how can it be that some are good and some are bad.

 

[mommaU4]

I don't know. I still think this was too much. I mean, this was not drunk driving, it was not a real gun. We don't even know if he actually pointed it at the other kid with the intent to shoot his hand.

We've heard from people here who have said if it was their kid they would be livid and would have possibly done the same thing. I wonder how many of those same people would still think it was okay if it was their son who did the shooting and was arrested. Would they still think that was no big deal and a good way to learn a lesson?

Some people let their kids run around the neighborhood playing with toy guns, just like some people let their kids jump on trampolines and watch the movie "SAW" and gasp, even play with Bratz dolls. Everyone is different. I just think this whole thing has been blown out of proportion and I feel sorry for the kids involved.

 

[2BigKIdz]

Wow, this mom is WAY over the top!!! My nephews play with airsoft guns all of the time, they shoot each other, they've shot me. Heck my husband has shot me and my best friend with an airsoft gun at very close range, it doesn't feel great but it's not going to break the skin or anything (he was "testing" the gun out for my best friend's son). It's really popular right now, especially among teen boys. Hopefully the judge will be understanding and drop the charges!

 

[PooohBear]

Cathryn Rose, as the mother of a 17 yo DS, I know how stupid boys can be. Mine is a honor roll student who is a good kid and even he makes stupid choices occ. It's unfortunate that Scott's stupid mistake is resoluting in this. I feel very sorry for him.

I think that your S needs to cut off contact with the trouble maker right now. I'm sure you have come to that conclusion on your own.

I hear what everyone has to say about guns and no tolerance. But any mother of a teenage boy who thinks that their son has not done something really, really dumb, isn't looking very hard. IMHO. Funny that those who should be the last to cast stones happened to be the first. (meaning Dustin's mom, in case someone misunderstands me)

Very well said !

 

[MrsKreamer]

I agree with the OP. I think the other mom overreacted as a way to make her som the victim. I think toy guns are just that toys.

 

[yeartolate]

I think the "toy" guns are an inappropriate toy. (By the way, I whole support the shooting my brothers did - skeet plus target - both brothers were expert marksmen before they were 18)

But a neighborhood filled with kids with airsoft guns shooting each other? Joy of joys.

I think the Mom was over the top, but maybe she is trying to say - my kid has enough problems without encouraging gunplay (albeit "toy" gunplay)

 

[Mom2be]

I don't know. I still think this was too much. I mean, this was not drunk driving, it was not a real gun. We don't even know if he actually pointed it at the other kid with the intent to shoot his hand.

We've heard from people here who have said if it was their kid they would be livid and would have possibly done the same thing. I wonder how many of those same people would still think it was okay if it was their son who did the shooting and was arrested. Would they still think that was no big deal and a good way to learn a lesson?

Some people let their kids run around the neighborhood playing with toy guns, just like some people let their kids jump on trampolines and watch the movie "SAW" and gasp, even play with Bratz dolls. Everyone is different. I just think this whole thing has been blown out of proportion and I feel sorry for the kids involved.

Just to clarify I'm not trying to compare this situation to drunk driving. My point is that moments of stupidity do not go unpunished. And should I with a clean driving record ever were to get pulled over for drunk driving - I should of course be arrested. My prior "good" standing shouldn't matter. That is my point with this - just because this kid is a "good" kid doesn't mean he should get away with his deed. It is about teaching responsibility. Yes I think arresting the kid is over the top - not the way I would have handled it. But to excuse misbehaviour with the boys will be boys attitude is ridiculous. If it had been the "bad" kid who acted out I wonder how the story would change. I'm sure some people would be pointing out that it is one of the 7 signs of a serial killer or something like that.

My personal opinion is that there is enough gun related propoganda (both good and bad) in society that we don't need to further it by letting our children run through a neighborhood shooting each other. And yes I was brought up in a house with guns and learned to shoot at a young age. Will children make play guns out of legos and their hands - sure they will. But that is up to us as parents to teach our children about what a gun really is. My nephew is age 5 and yes he has yet to be given a toy gun that he can shoot (action figures that come with guns he has). And his mother does not tolerate him pretending to "shoot" other people.

It is about personal choice - personally I hope to limit my children's exposure to guns as much as possible.
~Amanda

 

[Planogirl]

I played with toy guns when I was a kid. They didn't shoot anything but they were silver revolvers and came with my cowgirl outfit.

I never thought much of it and I'm surprised to see so many people freaking out over the though of any kind of gun. I know that I tried to keep them away from our son but when he was real small, he picked up a stick and started pretend shooting. It just happens.

The police shouldn't have been called. Isn't that what this discussion was originally about? It's just too much.

 

[phorsenuf]

I have a question, does Dustins mother even know he has one of these guns? I think I remember you saying tha anyone any age could buy them. Maybe she's unaware that her son has been out shooting other kids too and that's why she flipped.

I would have been ticked too if I had seen that. I wouldn't have called the cops or anything but I'd sure be talking to the parents.

But then again, my son (which I have 4 of and went through/going through the teen years) would not be running around the neighborhood shooting a gun or even hanging out with those who did. Sorry some "toy" guns are not exactly toys in my book.

There is a huge difference too between water guns and these pellet guns.

And that whole boys will be boys bit. Nope, doesn't fly in my book.

 

[jacksonsmom]

note to self - don't move to CathrynRose's neighbourhood
.

Agree!
The "they are Boys" is a lousy excuse. I hate when people use it. I don't care if they are boys or whatever. NO ONE should be aiming ANY kind of gun at a human being...PERIOD! When you put a gun in a kid's hand, pellet or otherwise, they have to be responsible.

Sorry the honor kid was wrong in this case and he should be held accountable for his actions.

I personally don't know if I would have gotten the police involved, in my neighborhood our boys don't go around shooting each other. Hopefully I won't be put in that situation, but I know I would not be happy!

 

[tekmom]

Hi, I don't know if anyone has brought this up or not, but if Dustin's mother was angry enough to call the police and demand an arrest, how do you know she won't come after the OP next? I mean in terms of suing the homeowner of the property where her son was "injured". Whether or not she would win is irrelevent, people will sue over anything these days. Has the OP spoken to Dustin's mother since this happened?

 

[phorsenuf]

Hi, I don't know if anyone has brought this up or not, but if Dustin's mother was angry enough to call the police and demand an arrest, how do you know she won't come after the OP next? I mean in terms of suing the homeowner of the property where her son was "injured". Whether or not she would win is irrelevent, people will sue over anything these days. Has the OP spoken to Dustin's mother since this happened?

Good point. It was your sons gun afterall, right OP?

 

[Mom2be]

Hi, I don't know if anyone has brought this up or not, but if Dustin's mother was angry enough to call the police and demand an arrest, how do you know she won't come after the OP next? I mean in terms of suing the homeowner of the property where her son was "injured". Whether or not she would win is irrelevent, people will sue over anything these days. Has the OP spoken to Dustin's mother since this happened?

I believe initially that the OP son was also picked up by the police but not charged. Since it isn't a real gun and the charges filed were assault and not assault with a deadly weapon I belive the OP son wouldbe safe from prosecution.

~Amanda

 

[cardaway]

Agree!
The "they are Boys" is a lousy excuse.

But it sure does point to who knows their kids were in the wrong more often than not.