Parenting trends you dislike?

[mjkacmom]

Just bc I like to argue. what about babies? Bc my youngest was 26 lbs at 6 months and he was strictly breastfed, and bf babies don't overeat. He's consistently been at 99% for weight and height. at 7 he's about 97 lbs. He has a fitbit and gets 15-20k steps a day so he's very active and wrestles and plays football and eats the exact same diet as my 10 yr old who is 73 lbs. So it's not bc I let him sit around and be lazy, and it's not because I let him overeat or eat junk.

I don’t know what the answer is because genetics come into play. One of my kids was always 95/95 for height and weight, 4 siblings either average or underweight (one was not even on the weight charts). He was very active and ate normally. There are weight issues on my side of the family, none on DH’s (he was such a skinny kid). He’s 6’2”, 220. He’s also on ADHD meds so he eats nothing all day, hikes everything weekend. My sister has 2 underweight kids, 1 overweight (he‘s also on ADHD meds). He has a huge appetite, unfortunately. His pediatrician is concerned (he is 16). The reality is metabolisms differ. Some people need to exercise more and eat less (myself include, it stinks). My son knows that he was not blessed like his skinny siblings.

 

[DLgal]

But if he’s 99% for both weight and height, that would mean that his weight is proportional for his height so he would not be obese/high BMI.

Nope. That's not how BMI works in kids. They use "BMI for age" and give you a percentage compared to other kids, not a straight number based on height and weight.

My teen boys are the same height, but have COMPLETELY different frame sizes and builds. My older son is literally a string bean, with tiny bones. My younger son's knees alone are 2x the size of his brother's. His hands and wrists are HUGE. He is a beast. He weighs 40lbs more. He is classified as "overweight" but his body fat is only 17%. He was out of his 20lb infant seat by 4 months. At a year old, he weighed 30lbs. He felt like a sack of potatoes. He was never a chubby baby, though. Just HEAVY. He takes after his German grandpa

BMI is literally the WORST metric ever invented. The Navy classifies my husband as "morbidly obese." He weighs 180lb but he is only 5'3". He has had his body fat analysis done and is within normal body fat percentage. He is mostly muscle. We just laugh at it because it's just what their medical records spit out when they enter his weight into the computer. BMI is dumb.

 

[dez1978]

But if he’s 99% for both weight and height, that would mean that his weight is proportional for his height so he would not be obese/high BMI.

We tend to grow very fast in my family so we were always off the charts. I’m sure my brother was 97lb+ at age 7, but he was also taller than his first grade teacher.

He is tall as well, but his BMI is still high. But becasue he's always been that way his dr isn't concerned. And my oldest has always been skinny so she's not concerned about him either. And tying it back to the BF conversations, it amazes me looking back that my milk for my oldest had very little fat. Like maybe 1 oz per 6 oz bottle. For my 2nd it was like 1/2 fat. I made skim milk for one and full fat for the other lol. Which then makes me wonder, did my body make the milk their genetics and metabolism needed, or are they they way they are because of the milk I made?

 

[dez1978]

Nope. That's not how BMI works in kids. They use "BMI for age" and give you a percentage compared to other kids, not a straight number based on height and weight.

My teen boys are the same height, but have COMPLETELY different frame sizes and builds. My older son is literally a string bean, with tiny bones. My younger son's knees alone are 2x the size of his brother's. His hands and wrists are HUGE. He is a beast. He weighs 40lbs more. He is classified as "overweight" but his body fat is only 17%. He was out of his 20lb infant seat by 4 months. At a year old, he weighed 30lbs. He felt like a sack of potatoes. He was never a chubby baby, though. Just HEAVY. He takes after his German grandpa

BMI is literally the WORST metric ever invented. The Navy classifies my husband as "morbidly obese." He weighs 180lb but he is only 5'3". He has had his body fat analysis done and is within normal body fat percentage. He is mostly muscle. We just laugh at it because it's just what their medical records spit out when they winter his weight into the computer. BMI is dumb.

I hate BMI. For kids and adults. My 10 yr old is so skinny I can count his ribs but according to his BMI is overweight... I'm a size 8 and 5 ft 7 and am overweight according to bmi. Its crap.

Some people need to exercise more and eat less (myself include, it stinks). My son knows that he was not blessed like his skinny siblings.

I don't disagree, but it's not ok to put that on a 7 yr old. We focus on healthy foods and eating when we are hungry and stopping when we are full. I'm not going to tell a 7 year old he can't eat as much bc his metabolism isn't as fast as his brothers.

 

[BrianL]

I have no dog in this fight as I am not a parent and I certianly can't speak toward how to feed a baby, etc. but this thread is very symptomatic of the extreme polarization on so many issues that has become the norm in our society. Everyone is expected to pick a side and be a hard-liner about it. The other side is deemed to be absolutely wrong about absolutely everything. The ability for instant worldwide communication has enabled us to filter into cliques of like-minded people and to exclusively get all information from them, thus creating an echo chamber that affirms our beliefs and excludes all others. It's unfortunate, but what were once extreme positions now seem to be the norm, leaving no room for moderate, or even critical, thought.

 

[mjkacmom]

I hate BMI. For kids and adults. My 10 yr old is so skinny I can count his ribs but according to his BMI is overweight... I'm a size 8 and 5 ft 7 and am overweight according to bmi. Its crap.


I don't disagree, but it's not ok to put that on a 7 yr old. We focus on healthy foods and eating when we are hungry and stopping when we are full. I'm not going to tell a 7 year old he can't eat as much bc his metabolism isn't as fast as his brothers.

Of course you don’t tell a 7 year old, but they don’t stay 7. Kids and weight issues are tough. My nephew is definitely fat, although he has a large frame (size 13 shoe). He does get teased and he doesn’t like bring overweight. My sister and her ex have different opinions on how to handle it (her ex’s parents and brother are obese), which makes it harder. He will literally make himself 6 hot dogs for breakfast, he went through a pound of pepperoni every day on vacation, mindlessly eating while playing video games. We only get together once a year, I thought my sister was making a big deal out of nothing.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I have no dog in this fight as I am not a parent and I certianly can't speak toward how to feed a baby, etc. but this thread is very symptomatic of the extreme polarization on so many issues that has become the norm in our society. Everyone is expected to pick a side and be a hard-liner about it. The other side is deemed to be absolutely wrong about absolutely everyhting. The ability for instant worldwide communication has enabled us to filter into cliques of like-minded people and to exclusively get all information from them, thus creating an echo chamber that affirms our beliefs and excludes all others. It's unfortunate, but what were once extreme positions now seem to be the norm, leaving no room for moderate, or even critical, thought.

I was torn between hitting the like button (to agree with you) and the sad face (because the fact itself is sad). You explained it very well, though!

 

[fortwildernessishome]

Being extra with everything. When I heard some moms were pretending a leprechaun visited the night before St Patrick's day, and left skittles for their kid, I just lost it.

Yes!! Back when I was growing up, only Irish people celebrated st. Patrick’s day. When did it become a holiday that everyone seems to celebrate? We don’t do anything for that holiday.
Or getting kids gifts on Valentine’s Day or Easter. Maybe you got some candy as a kid for those holidays, but now we’re supposed to give kids gifts too?

The quotes above are the parenting trends that I dislike.

I wish that parents had enough confidence in their life and decisions that they wouldn't give a flip if another parent gave their kids some skittles on St. Patrick's Day or gifts on Valentines or Easter! If you don't want to do something like that, then don't, but feel good about it. Why have the feelings of "I just lost it" or "now we're supposed to give gifts to our kids too?" WHY!!!!! Why would you think that! In the same vein, if some parents give their kids a kid Birthday party every year, but your preference is to give your kids a kid Birthday party, every other year, or every third year or not at all, then own that decision. Don't "lose it" or feel you are "supposed" to do that.

Have enough confidence in yourself, your decisions and your choices that you are not affected by what others are doing! Truly, I can't stand that parenting trend and I always cringe when someone finds fault or complains because the mom down the street gave their kids some extra treats and gasp, shared their fun on social media! Maybe look inside yourself and figure out why exactly it bothers you so much!

My kids are grown at 29 and 26. But, I LOVED to do extras! Gifts for Easter and Valentine's Day, heck yes! Had the Elf on the Shelf been invented when they were little or had I thought of such a thing, I would have LOVED that. Heck sometimes in the summertime at my parent's place at the lake, I would make up treasure hunts for my kids and my nieces and nephews for absolutely no reason or holiday at all, I did it because it was FUN for me and them! It would seem odd to me that Mary down the street would have "lost it" or felt that they were now "supposed" to make a treasure hunt, just because I did!

Again, if you don't want to do that for your kids, fine, but feel comfortable about that instead of finding fault with people that do. Also keep in mind, that you are most likely doing extras or fun things for your kids in other ways that not everyone else is doing.

 

[BrianL]

I was torn between hitting the like button (to agree with you) and the sad face (because the fact itself is sad). You explained it very well, though!

It is sad indeed.

 

[Lilsia]

The quotes above are the parenting trends that I dislike.

I wish that parents had enough confidence in their life and decisions that they wouldn't give a flip if another parent gave their kids some skittles on St. Patrick's Day or gifts on Valentines or Easter! If you don't want to do something like that, then don't, but feel good about it. Why have the feelings of "I just lost it" or "now we're supposed to give gifts to our kids too?" WHY!!!!! Why would you think that! In the same vein, if some parents give their kids a kid Birthday party every year, but your preference is to give your kids a kid Birthday party, every other year, or every third year or not at all, then own that decision. Don't "lose it" or feel you are "supposed" to do that.

Have enough confidence in yourself, your decisions and your choices that you are not affected by what others are doing! Truly, I can't stand that parenting trend and I always cringe when someone finds fault or complains because the mom down the street gave their kids some extra treats and gasp, shared their fun on social media! Maybe look inside yourself and figure out why exactly it bothers you so much!

My kids are grown at 29 and 26. But, I LOVED to do extras! Gifts for Easter and Valentine's Day, heck yes! Had the Elf on the Shelf been invented when they were little or had I thought of such a thing, I would have LOVED that. Heck sometimes in the summertime at my parent's place at the lake, I would make up treasure hunts for my kids and my nieces and nephews for absolutely no reason or holiday at all, I did it because it was FUN for me and them! It would seem odd to me that Mary down the street would have "lost it" or felt that they were now "supposed" to make a treasure hunt, just because I did!

Again, if you don't want to do that for your kids, fine, but feel comfortable about that instead of finding fault with people that do. Also keep in mind, that you are most likely doing extras or fun things for your kids in other ways that not everyone else is doing.

I don't get why people even post these things about their family online. Why? What does it do for you to, like we used to say "show off" like that? I never posted anything about my kids online and we just live our lives for ourselves. It is a strange new way of "keeping up with the Joneses". I am also with you on not caring what anyone thinks about my parenting. My husband and I have an amazing relationship and are happy, our kids are grown now and are happy. We all love to spend time together, etc. What do I care what anyone else thinks or says, I know my life is great.

 

[DLgal]

I don't get why people even post these things about their family online. Why? What does it do for you to, like we used to say "show off" like that? I never posted anything about my kids online and we just live our lives for ourselves. It is a strange new way of "keeping up with the Joneses". I am also with you on not caring what anyone thinks about my parenting. My husband and I have an amazing relationship and are happy, our kids are grown now and are happy. We all love to spend time together, etc. What do I care what anyone else thinks or says, I know my life is great.

It's attention seeking behavior by people who feel insecure about their lives/their choices, etc. They want the validation.

I'd add that to a parenting trend I hate: the humble bragging and posting of your child's achievements on FB. It's really off putting to me. It's like, what do you want, a medal?

 

[Lilsia]

It's attention seeking behavior by people who feel insecure about their lives/their choices, etc. They want the validation.

I'd add that to a parenting trend I hate: the humble bragging and posting of your child's achievements on FB. It's really off putting to me. It's like, what do you want, a medal?

I dislike how some people, once they have a kid, that is ALL that they talk about. Their whole lives now revolve around that child and every other word out of their mouths is their child's name. That is why I stopped watching the Trackers once they had their kid. Dang people, you didn't invent having kids. LOL

 

[fortwildernessishome]

I don't get why people even post these things about their family online. Why? What does it do for you to, like we used to say "show off" like that? I never posted anything about my kids online and we just live our lives for ourselves. It is a strange new way of "keeping up with the Joneses". I am also with you on not caring what anyone thinks about my parenting. My husband and I have an amazing relationship and are happy, our kids are grown now and are happy. We all love to spend time together, etc. What do I care what anyone else thinks or says, I know my life is great.

I don't know why other people post things online, but I can share why I do, and it has nothing to do with showing off or keeping up with anyone. You asked, "what does it do for you?" This is what it does for me! I view Facebook as MY personal diary. I don't make posts for other people; I make posts for myself and our family. I post pics of our vacations and travels, post pics from my town (like our town hall decorated with Christmas Trees) post pics of our family celebrations etc. I also "share" things to my wall, that I want to read later. For example, articles that I see on National Parks or Disney that I want to read later or share with my husband or kids. I've been known to post pics of Easter baskets (gasp) etc. For me, I am not showing off, because I could care less what anyone else thinks and maybe my baskets are small or unimpressive. But what I like to do, is the following year, I may look back on that old post to remind myself what i did the year before for Easter.

Not a week goes by that I am not looking back on one of my old posts as a reference or reminder to myself. Last month one of my husband's co-workers was planning to trip to Moab Utah and wondered where we ate and stayed when we went 6 years ago. We have had a ton of trips since then and neither of us remembered. But it took me all of a few seconds to bring up my posts of Moab and right there in my pics and commentary was where we stayed and ate.

Did my Facebook friends think that I was "bragging" when I posted pics of that trip? Perhaps! But I don't care. I don't post pics on MY Facebook for other people, I post for myself and our family. Before Facebook, to answer the co-workers question, I would have had to dig through photos albums, boxes of pics, old journals etc. to find answers and I most likely wouldn't have bothered. But, with Facebook, I found the answers quickly and then my husband and I spent probably a half hour that night reminiscing about that trip. All thanks to Facebook!

I also happen to have a very small "friend" list on Facebook and don't accept friend requests from most people, unless they are a close friend or family member. In addition to my small friend list, about a quarter of the people who are my friends are actually blocked from my posts, but they don't know that.

I LOVE Facebook. It wouldn't even cross my mind that someone posted a pic of a vacation or Easter basket or family celebration to impress little ole me!! Haha! This goes back to my previous post. People need to have self confidence in themselves and their decisions and choices. If you feel good about yourself, then seeing pics on Facebook of someone's Easter basket or vacation, isn't going to affect you. You'll either look at the pics because they interest you or you just keep scrolling.

For me it has nothing to do with keeping up with the Joneses. I have less than 100 Facebook friends and I have never thought that their posts are bragging.

Do some people love to brag? Of course, but it's not something that would jump into my mind because of someone Facebook post.

 

[fortwildernessishome]

It's attention seeking behavior by people who feel insecure about their lives/their choices, etc. They want the validation.

I'd add that to a parenting trend I hate: the humble bragging and posting of your child's achievements on FB. It's really off putting to me. It's like, what do you want, a medal?

Or, it's the complete opposite! Maybe the ones who have a problem with a friend's post are the ones that feel "insecure about their lives/their choices". Quite possibly the person is posting something because it is meaningful to THEM and they could care less about attention seeking!

Granted, I've never been one to post about achievements or do I make posts wishing my child a happy Birthday and saying how "proud" I am and make a list of all of their fantastic qualities. But, just because i don't make those posts, I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that the person feels insecure or seeking attention. Maybe it's the only way they can communicate with their loved one?!

Again, the very last thing that would jump in my mind is that someone is trying to impress ME with their Facebook post!

 

[dez1978]

I don't know why other people post things online, but I can share why I do, and it has nothing to do with showing off or keeping up with anyone. You asked, "what does it do for you?" This is what it does for me! I view Facebook as MY personal diary. I don't make posts for other people; I make posts for myself and our family. I post pics of our vacations and travels, post pics from my town (like our town hall decorated with Christmas Trees) post pics of our family celebrations etc. I also "share" things to my wall, that I want to read later. For example, articles that I see on National Parks or Disney that I want to read later or share with my husband or kids. I've been known to post pics of Easter baskets (gasp) etc. For me, I am not showing off, because I could care less what anyone else thinks and maybe my baskets are small or unimpressive. But what I like to do, is the following year, I may look back on that old post to remind myself what i did the year before for Easter.

Not a week goes by that I am not looking back on one of my old posts as a reference or reminder to myself. Last month one of my husband's co-workers was planning to trip to Moab Utah and wondered where we ate and stayed when we went 6 years ago. We have had a ton of trips since then and neither of us remembered. But it took me all of a few seconds to bring up my posts of Moab and right there in my pics and commentary was where we stayed and ate.

Did my Facebook friends think that I was "bragging" when I posted pics of that trip? Perhaps! But I don't care. I don't post pics on MY Facebook for other people, I post for myself and our family. Before Facebook, to answer the co-workers question, I would have had to dig through photos albums, boxes of pics, old journals etc. to find answers and I most likely wouldn't have bothered. But, with Facebook, I found the answers quickly and then my husband and I spent probably a half hour that night reminiscing about that trip. All thanks to Facebook!

I also happen to have a very small "friend" list on Facebook and don't accept friend requests from most people, unless they are a close friend or family member. In addition to my small friend list, about a quarter of the people who are my friends are actually blocked from my posts, but they don't know that.

I LOVE Facebook. It wouldn't even cross my mind that someone posted a pic of a vacation or Easter basket or family celebration to impress little ole me!! Haha! This goes back to my previous post. People need to have self confidence in themselves and their decisions and choices. If you feel good about yourself, then seeing pics on Facebook of someone's Easter basket or vacation, isn't going to affect you. You'll either look at the pics because they interest you or you just keep scrolling.

For me it has nothing to do with keeping up with the Joneses. I have less than 100 Facebook friends and I have never thought that their posts are bragging.

Do some people love to brag? Of course, but it's not something that would jump into my mind because of someone Facebook post.

I'm with you. If I post things about my kids online it's either so that family and friends can also see them or it's bc there is an issue I need help with and maybe someone can help me. I don't do it to show off either. When I post a pic of my kids after wrestling tournaments with medals it's not because I want accolades. It's becasue I want extended family to be able to be involved and see the pics too and I don't want to text it to 30 ppl.

 

[LYSE]

I dislike how some people, once they have a kid, that is ALL that they talk about. Their whole lives now revolve around that child and every other word out of their mouths is their child's name. That is why I stopped watching the Trackers once they had their kid. Dang people, you didn't invent having kids. LOL

People tend to talk about things they love and enjoy.

I would hope parents lives revolve around their children.

 

[jiminyC_fan]

It saddens me that in today's world people bring up weight especially for children. You don't know their health history and yet instantly people think the parents over feed and/or gives junk food. Please have a bit of compassion for children and overweight adults.

 

[fortwildernessishome]

I'm with you. If I post things about my kids online it's either so that family and friends can also see them or it's bc there is an issue I need help with and maybe someone can help me. I don't do it to show off either. When I post a pic of my kids after wrestling tournaments with medals it's not because I want accolades. It's becasue I want extended family to be able to be involved and see the pics too and I don't want to text it to 30 ppl.

I totally agree!

If you were one of my Facebook friends, I would WANT to see the pics of your kids with medals around their necks and read about their recent wrestling meet. It would honestly never cross my mind that you were bragging or over sharing. If we are Facebook friends, it means you are MY friend, and I am certainly interested in MY friends lives!

 

[jiminyC_fan]

When you see a fat child out eating cotton candy, cokes and ice cream like is so common at Disney it’s a very good indication of what’s going on. Often too the parents are fat.

I truly didn't know what emoji to use. Sad face that you think kids don't deserve a treat at WDW. Treats are just for skinny kids? A wow or mad face that you judge overweight people. The term fat is cruel.

 

[TippyThomas]

Yeah, probably not worth it.