Parenting Advise - Talent Show?

[preb]

My DD7's school is holding auditions for the talent show next week. Over 100 children try out and approximately 20 make it in the show. These are talented pianists, dancers, singers, etc. You know, kids who take lessons and really practice.

My DD announced yesterday that she is going to audition for the show. I asked her what she was going to do and she played the song "We Are Family" on her boombox and hopped around a little (dancing). I was torn between trying to discourage her from auditioning to avoid hurt feelings and letting her go for it as one of those life lessons.

Tonight, one of her friend's mom's called and said "I heard our daughters are doing a dance together in the talent show. We need to get their costumes figured out and they need to practice because the auditions are next week". I told her that I hadn't heard anything about them dancing together and I would get back with her.

I asked my DD about it and she is quite upset and wants to audition solo. I told her that a friends feelings are more important than a talent show, but she is not budging. I now need to call my friend back and say that there was a miscommunication.

Let me be clear...she has no chance of making it into the talent show.

As a parent, what would you do? I'm really at a loss.

 

[nealymouse]

Oh that happend to me, It was very painful watching my child who could not carry a note in a bag try to in front of the whole school. No one was rejected (as I had hoped) so my child went ahead and sang. Good thing was there were others who also could not carry a note so she was not alone and in the end had a great time.

 

[Michie]

Bribe her!!!!! After sitting through a talent show that lasted for almost 3 hours, I offered my DD money NOT to be in it!!!!!

 

[Beth76]

Don't you have something to do the night of the show?

 

[SwedishMeatball]

I can't imagine discouraging my child if they were that determined. I suppose I might discuss with them the possibility of not making it and how that would make them feel, but I'd be proud that they had the spunk to give it a shot. Good for her.

 

[golfgal]

I would let her try out because that is a great learning experience AND it is harder to do those things in front of people then they think and the more they get up and talk, dance, sing whatever in front of a group the more comfortable they will be with that. I would just let her know that 200 kids or whatever are trying out and that not that many will make it but it is really fun to put together a dance with your friend and try.

 

[va32h]

This happened in our house - only my daughter did audition with two other girls, who got stage fright and ran off the stage, leaving my daughter alone, much to the amusement of all the kids watching the auditions.

She was embarrassed, and cried, and I hugged her, and her friends apologized and it was forgotten about in a day or two.

It was so hard while she was going through it - you hurt even more than they do! But what I did tell my daughter was that I was really proud of her for being brave enough to try - that lots of people, including grown adults, including me, were afraid to try new things in front of other people, and afraid to look silly, and that I was incredibly proud of her for having the confidence and courage to audition.

 

[Cindyluwho]

Definately let her audition. Remember, to her the audition is a performance in itself. She wants to do it, it's important to her. And if she wants to go to the final performance, even if she doesn't make it, she should be able to go. Not letting someone try because they're not good enough would be so wrong in so many ways. Public speaking and performing in public are two very common fears, thank goodness your daughter isn't one of those people. Celebrate it!!!

 

[Mom2Ashli]

My DD7's school is holding auditions for the talent show next week. Over 100 children try out and approximately 20 make it in the show. These are talented pianists, dancers, singers, etc. You know, kids who take lessons and really practice.

My DD announced yesterday that she is going to audition for the show. I asked her what she was going to do and she played the song "We Are Family" on her boombox and hopped around a little (dancing). I was torn between trying to discourage her from auditioning to avoid hurt feelings and letting her go for it as one of those life lessons.

Tonight, one of her friend's mom's called and said "I heard our daughters are doing a dance together in the talent show. We need to get their costumes figured out and they need to practice because the auditions are next week". I told her that I hadn't heard anything about them dancing together and I would get back with her.

I asked my DD about it and she is quite upset and wants to audition solo. I told her that a friends feelings are more important than a talent show, but she is not budging. I now need to call my friend back and say that there was a miscommunication.

Let me be clear...she has no chance of making it into the talent show.

As a parent, what would you do? I'm really at a loss.

You just described my DD last year.

Just prepare for the heartbreak.

She signed up and tried out Solo and of course didn't make it. She couldn't figure out why she didn't get in and was heartbroken. She put her heart and sole into that tryout.

Last year I told her they probably picked a bunch of 5th graders seeing how that was there last chance to be able to get into the show. That seemed to help her except it.

And now she has informed me she wants to try again this year.

 

[C.Ann]

About all you can do is call the other girl's mom and be honest..

As for your DD - I know you're torn, but if she's that excited, let her give it a whirl.. Just make sure she understands ahead of time that she may not make it and she needs to prepare for that..

Hard being a parent, isn't it?

 

[preb]

I guess I am struggling with a couple of different issues. I was certainly willing to let her audition with the understanding that she wouldn't make it and would be heartbroken. I looked at that as a valuable life lesson.

The issue was even more complicated by her friend wanting to join her and her refusing. I think she didn't want to give up the "limelight" at the expense of her friends feelings. They did discuss it at school and somehow her friend got the idea that they were going to audition together. Now she is saying that she never said the friend could be a part of the dance and she is doing it alone.

I think I need to sleep on it. I just think someone's feeling are going to be hurt no matter what, but I don't think I am in a position to stop that.

This parenting thing is tough!

 

[preb]

About all you can do is call the other girl's mom and be honest..

As for your DD - I know you're torn, but if she's that excited, let her give it a whirl.. Just make sure she understands ahead of time that she may not make it and she needs to prepare for that..

Hard being a parent, isn't it?

C. Ann,
We posted at the same time! Brilliant minds...

 

[powellrj]

we went through the samething with our DD. She is wonderful but she hasn't had the years of dancing experience that many of her friends have had that were also trying out. While I didn't want to discourage her, I know she had no idea that she wasn't as good as the other girls and I didn't want her to be teased.

What we did was find a cute little poem that she recited. It was something about Daddy Cooking Dinner. It was really cute and she did hand motions and props with it. One of the people liked it so well they asked her to do it at a Mother Daughter Banquet. It solved our problem, she was in the show and she did something within her skill level.

I know one of the most popular acts was an American Idol type skit. It gave several kids the chance to work together and do something short and sweet, and several other kids did goofy songs that were cute.

Could they work together on an act like that where they would work together, but perform alone. Have an emcee announce the acts and then let them do a little dance routine like So You Think You Can Dance Type thing.