Pardon me while I vent ~ Angry enough to kill - literally!

[crazyforgoofy]

Originally posted by mtblujeans
I am not a perfect Mom and I don't know everything (just ask my teenagers) but I am as old as dirt (or at least feel like it) and I think (if I were in your situation) I would take this opportunity to tell her that sometimes, shift happens (as they say on SouthWest Airlines). She is old enough to understand a simple explanation about life. Neither she nor you can control other people, that is a simple one. But, you can also take the opportunity to make it clear to her that you will always try to be there for her.

As she gets older and sees the example you set for her: dependable, loving, supportive, dependable she will figure some of this out for herself. Unfortunately, it is painful being a Mom - or parent, I should say - and the best thing you can do is love 'em silly and gently guide them toward a positive way at looking at life and its disappointments. Positive is really, really hard. But you do the best you can before you turn them loose.

I thank you for your advice and agree with what you're saying. We do, with her therapist's encouragment, tell her like it is. It's still hard to watch her keep on hoping. She knows she can't count on the promises her mommy makes but that doesn't mean it hurts her any less. But next week we go to Orlando and she gets to spend two glorious weeks with her half sister and her two cousins. Time with her sister is precious and to spend it having fun at Disney World should take her mind off other things.

 

[mtblujeans]

I think you are doing a great job!! You ask for help outside yourself - that is a really good step! Now that my kids are not little any more, I see how important it is to make the most of the time they are with you. I would have a tendency to pull her attention in a different direction if she seemed to be pondering on a negative person or situation. Children learn by repetition. What a blessing you are for this little girl!

 

[Pop Daddy]

you know what I noticed, when people vent, they all have long post

 

[Tiiiigergirl]

So sorry for the pain you all are experiencing. We had our DS placed with us when he was 4. He sounds somewhat similar in that he was 28 inches tall and weighed 28 pounds! He was losing his hair. I'm happy to report that the beautiful 11-year-old boy who is snoring in the room next to me is healthy and happy. Sadly when our children hurt we get angry at the people who ought to know better. Unfortunately, Isabelle has to learn at a very early age that there are people you just can't count on. That is a painful lesson at any age and with any person but almost incomprehensible at such a young age and with someone who was supposed to be a nurturing and loving figure in her life. You're doing good by venting here so you can be strong, loving and supportive for her. I wish I had better words to express how my heart aches for you.

 

[QJ411]

Sorry to hear about "M" and the terrible situation. Its truly sad when a child is involved and KUDOS to you and your DH for trying so hard to make things right for Isabella.

Hugs and Pixies dust to you and your family. We're always here for you to vent!

XOXO