Paper Invitations vs. Evite

[2binak]

Evite for informal (birthday parties, backyard bbq's), paper for formal (wedding, showers).

I love that evites lets you send (or get) a reminder. Also, people tend to misplace paper invites and then they don't have the details so they have to call someone to get them. With evites, you just click a link and all of the information is right there.

 

[Robbi]

My dad says that too, but he's 73.

I'm 55.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I think it depends on the people and the event.

If you used evite for your wedding, it would be weird for my circle of friends.

If you used paper invites for a Summer BBQ and not evite, it would be weird for my circle of friends.

One thing I don't like is Facebook for Events. We missed a birthday party because I just didn't see it. I wasn't looking for it and for this person, we usually get a phone call invite (again this is fine for our circle). I have many Facebook friends that are colleagues for work, so I tend to ignore events since most of them are sales stuff.

 

[DisneyCowgirl]

Paper
If I get an evite, I won't attend.

I'm 55.

That seems a little snotty to me. Like my 86 year old grandmother who is definitely snotty and believes anything other than a hand-addressed paper invitation is unacceptable, and an rsvp must also be delivered in written and mailed form (no phone calls or emails allowed).

I'd like to hear why you feel this way.

 

[Chikabowa]

For birthdays, BBQ's, and informal get-togethers/events: evites/facebook invites.

For weddings, baby showers, wedding showers, or any other formal/semi-formal event of significance life importance: a paper invite.

 

[cari12]

Love Evites
1) I find keeping track of responses is taken care of for me and at the click of the mouse i can see who's coming and who's not.
2) For confidentiality at school when you are not inviting the whole class, this makes it much easier. In fact DS8 requested I do an evite for that very reason because last year a boy he wasn't inviting saw him give an invite to another child and asked where his was.
3) I don't have to worry about misplacing the paper one -just open my email and I have all the details at my fingertips.

 

[Chikabowa]

I'd like to hear why you feel this way.

I'm 34 and I feel similarly.

A paper invite indicates so much...
The theme of an event, the level of formality, the importance, the hosts and the honored, and even the importance of the guest to the event.

It costs money to produce a beautiful paper invite and the sentiment implied is that the guest is one fitting of taking receipt of that invitation.

There is a exclusivity that is given with a paper invite - not everyone gets one and the host is making sure the guest knows that they are important to them.

The time it takes to produce and address an invitation leads the guest to believe that they were thought about, on a personal level, and that their attendance is important to the host.

The "email wedding invite" has been all the rage at my DH's work the last couple of years. I hate feeling like an after-thought... like I'm important enough to ask to the wedding (and thus give a wedding gift), but not important enough for them to spend $2-5 to send me a proper invitation asking me personally to attend. Instead I'm just one-of-many in their e-mail contact list. I've never attended a wedding where I've received an email and I've never been told that they missed me or even wanted me there. In fact, the bride of one of these weddings, when introduced to me the first time a year after the wedding, had no idea who I was or who my husband was... even though we got the "invite" to the wedding.

As for facebook invites... I get invited to a TON of parties... even for friends that are out of state. Simply because they hit the button that invites everyone in their contact list. There is no level of pesonal interaction or thought of me as a guest, just a "invite all" kind of mentality. For informal get togethers, parties, holiday get togethers, buying-things kind of parties it's fine.

But if you are having a 25th anniversary party, a wedding, a shower, etc... a paper invite says so much more to me!

 

[goofyintoronto]

I missed A LOT of parties because the invite didnt come thru the mail on time. Evite is much more reliable.

Recently I was invited to a wedding via the web. No paper invite! The couple had their own website, even their own app! (for both android and iphone). it was cool!

 

[Ember]

I'm fine with either. For a formal event like a wedding, a paper invite is nice. It speaks to the formality of the occasion. Other then that, I don't think it really matters. I prefer paper, but then I just quite like stationary in general.

I feel the same with the "thank you." Say it in person, email or write it. But for goodness sake, say it one way or another! People who can't say thank you receive no further gifts from me.

edited to add: Oh, and that silly photo the couple took where they are holding a thank you sign is not a proper thank you. Unless they write a little note to go with it, a mass mailing or emailing of that image is NOT an actual thank you.

 

[cybrkitn]

Paper!! I scrapbook, so like to use them with the pictures from the event

I find e-vites too impersonal...........I don't think I have ever received one anyway.

I agree. Paper invites for me as well. I don't do social networking. DH does, but I choose not to b/c I'm just not interested in it. E-vites do sound very impersonal to me as well. I think that DH has received about 2 over all that I know of.

If we ever were to send out invites via electronically, then we would send to those that are online and send paper invites to those who are not online. Don't forget, there are a lot of seniors who do not know or want to know how to use a computer. My mom is 67 and does not want to learn and my FIL who is 84 can't understand all of this technology.

 

[DisneyCowgirl]

I'm 34 and I feel similarly.

A paper invite indicates so much...
The theme of an event, the level of formality, the importance, the hosts and the honored, and even the importance of the guest to the event.

It costs money to produce a beautiful paper invite and the sentiment implied is that the guest is one fitting of taking receipt of that invitation.

There is a exclusivity that is given with a paper invite - not everyone gets one and the host is making sure the guest knows that they are important to them.

The time it takes to produce and address an invitation leads the guest to believe that they were thought about, on a personal level, and that their attendance is important to the host.

The "email wedding invite" has been all the rage at my DH's work the last couple of years. I hate feeling like an after-thought... like I'm important enough to ask to the wedding (and thus give a wedding gift), but not important enough for them to spend $2-5 to send me a proper invitation asking me personally to attend. Instead I'm just one-of-many in their e-mail contact list. I've never attended a wedding where I've received an email and I've never been told that they missed me or even wanted me there. In fact, the bride of one of these weddings, when introduced to me the first time a year after the wedding, had no idea who I was or who my husband was... even though we got the "invite" to the wedding.

As for facebook invites... I get invited to a TON of parties... even for friends that are out of state. Simply because they hit the button that invites everyone in their contact list. There is no level of pesonal interaction or thought of me as a guest, just a "invite all" kind of mentality. For informal get togethers, parties, holiday get togethers, buying-things kind of parties it's fine.

But if you are having a 25th anniversary party, a wedding, a shower, etc... a paper invite says so much more to me!

I do not like electronic of any form for weddings. But for a lot of other parties, electronic does not have to be impersonal. I use Paperless Post, which is not free, and each emailed invitation is personally addressed and includes a personal note. Plus, they are designed to look like expensive paper initations, even with lined envelopes.

I feel the same with the "thank you." Say it in person, email or write it. But for goodness sake, say it one way or another! People who can't say thank you receive no further gifts from me.

edited to add: Oh, and that silly photo the couple took where they are holding a thank you sign is not a proper thank you. Unless they write a little note to go with it, a mass mailing or emailing of that image is NOT an actual thank you.

You are so right on the thank you! Big believer in the thank you note!

 

[Sorsha]

I'm 34 and I feel similarly.

A paper invite indicates so much...
The theme of an event, the level of formality, the importance, the hosts and the honored, and even the importance of the guest to the event.

It costs money to produce a beautiful paper invite and the sentiment implied is that the guest is one fitting of taking receipt of that invitation.

There is a exclusivity that is given with a paper invite - not everyone gets one and the host is making sure the guest knows that they are important to them.

The time it takes to produce and address an invitation leads the guest to believe that they were thought about, on a personal level, and that their attendance is important to the host.

The "email wedding invite" has been all the rage at my DH's work the last couple of years. I hate feeling like an after-thought... like I'm important enough to ask to the wedding (and thus give a wedding gift), but not important enough for them to spend $2-5 to send me a proper invitation asking me personally to attend. Instead I'm just one-of-many in their e-mail contact list. I've never attended a wedding where I've received an email and I've never been told that they missed me or even wanted me there. In fact, the bride of one of these weddings, when introduced to me the first time a year after the wedding, had no idea who I was or who my husband was... even though we got the "invite" to the wedding.

As for facebook invites... I get invited to a TON of parties... even for friends that are out of state. Simply because they hit the button that invites everyone in their contact list. There is no level of pesonal interaction or thought of me as a guest, just a "invite all" kind of mentality. For informal get togethers, parties, holiday get togethers, buying-things kind of parties it's fine.

But if you are having a 25th anniversary party, a wedding, a shower, etc... a paper invite says so much more to me!

See, and in my circle of friends, THIS is why we find paper invitations to seem so snobbish and out-of-touch.

The theme of an event - what?? If I am inviting you electronically, and the event has a "theme" I can tell you about it! I can use cool web-backgrounds or email stationaries. And best of all I haven't contributed to the over-usage and waste of paper products that our society is rife with.

The level of formality - sorry , but I can say "potluck - BYOB" or "formal dress only, please" electronically JUST as easily in an email or Evite.

Importance - ??? I am inviting you, your presence is important to me. If it weren't, I wouldn't invite you! I don't invite people just for the heck of it.

The hosts and the honored - again, just as easily conveyed electronically, doesn't lose anything in translation.

"It costs money to produce a beautiful paper invite and the sentiment implied is that the guest is one fitting of taking receipt of that invitation." - Sorry, I don't see it that way. Yes it does cost money to produce the invitation. Money that I would much rather spend making the event itself fun and memorable. To me, the "sentiment implied" by a flashy, over-the top, curlicues-and-sparkles invitation is "look how much more upper-crust I am than you".

This is just how I, and my personal circle of friends feel about things, and why for all of us, electronic communication is the expected, and the norm. Others disagree and that's OK.

Then again, we think nothing of baby showers for 3rd babies, or registering for honeymoon money for weddings.

 

[hlg22]

I prefer paper for everything but the most informal of events. I do put both a phone number and email address on them for rsvps.

There have been a couple of times as a co-host of a bridal shower/baby shower that I have been overruled by the other hosts and we have done evites. My experience has been that people take them much less seriously than "real" invitations - we had many more people at those events (vs. others I've hosted) just not rsvp at all, or change their rsvp at the last minute (after we'd had to give numbers to the restaurant), and we also had a couple of people try and add invitees (saying, "oh, I see you left off so-and-so, so I passed this on and invited her")!!

 

[Candleinthewind]

TMy experience has been that people take them much less seriously than "real" invitations - we had many more people at those events (vs. others I've hosted) just not rsvp at all, or change their rsvp at the last minute (after we'd had to give numbers to the restaurant), and we also had a couple of people try and add invitees (saying, "oh, I see you left off so-and-so, so I passed this on and invited her")!!

This!

Between four email accounts, I easily get 200 emails a day. I will lose your Evite in the shuffle if you send it weeks ahead of time. A paper one has never gotten lost. It either goes on the refrig or somewhere of note as well as being marked on a calendar (or two).

There are some parents who use it and then are shocked when an invited kid shows up with siblings. It is so much easier to ignore pertinent information when we are inundated with electronic information. Printed to me stands out and means more to me than electronic. It tells me that someone took time and effort out to hand address and place a stamp on their envelope. It makes me feel good inside to think they thought of me while doing it.

Evites can just be copy and pasted to 20 and just does not feel that special.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

The determination of whether to use e-vites or traditional paper invitations is based on a bunch of things: the formailty of the event, the importance of the event, and the age range of the invitees. For instance, most of us would probably not use e-vites for a wedding invitation. I'm not saying there aren't some progressive couples out there that might do this, but for the most part a wedding is too important to allow people to accidentally miss (via spam or whatever). Additionally, a lot of older folks get invited to weddings. My grandmother has never used a computer in her life. She'd never get that kind of invitation.

Additionally, it adds a certain formality to the situation when you use paper invites. I used paper invites earlier this year when inviting a bunch of friends to my one friend's baby shower. It was hosted at a nice restaurant and I wanted to give the impression that it was a classy event, and not beer swilling in my basement with the football game in the background. Perhaps this does give off the impression that I am more "upper crust" or something, in which case that's fine. I don't mind people thinking that about me.

However, for a casual gathering of friends, where it's okay if someone misses the invitation, evites are fine. For instance, a number of times in a year I will host quite enjoyable events involving the swilling of beer in my basement with the football game on. For these, I use e-vites.

I think my cousin made a big mistake recently using Facebook as the sole means of inviting people to her Dad's (my uncle's) 80th birthday party. Luckily, I called my parents to ask whether they were going because my dad, it turns out, didn't know how to look at events on Facebook. He had no idea they'd even been invited.

 

[Bob NC]

I don't mind an emailed invite.

If you send me an Evite, I'll probably delete it with 40 other pieces of junk mail.

 

[TagsMissy]

We are traditionalists and continue to use paper invitations for all of our functions. I cannot tell you the number of Evites we have missed because they go right into our spam folder.

How about 'I don't care the method, I'm just honoured to be thought of to be invited.

Sorry I am not voting as I'll go to either invited event if I can make it.

 

[Jennasis]

I honestly don't care. E-vite or paper...it's fine.

 

[Hrhpd]

I use it all. Paper, evite, facebook, etc.

I don't get uptight over how somebody invites me to a function. I am just honored I am invited.

To not go because somebody doesn't do something the way you would do it (either electronically or by paper) is childish and and you are only hurting yourself by establishing a reputation and missing out on some good times.

 

[Robbi]

I think we all have pet peeves that others think are silly or childish. Mine is evites and I don't give a flip if someone doesn't like it.
Luckily for me, the people I know use paper invitations (maybe it's because we're older) so I don't miss out on good times.