Overstressed Bride, I need to vent

[sajetto]

Do you ever feel like you've got too much on your plate? This wedding is starting to feel like another chore on the pile. My DF and I just closed on a foreclosed house to make a profit on, put an offer an another one today for us to ACTUALLY live in, and are under contract on another house that we are selling. On top of this I'm a full time grad student while trying to move our stuff from one house into another, just to move it again when we close on the house we put an offer on today. We also just bought into DVC and shelled out enough money to buy a brand new car!

I think I've got to much on my plate and I have no idea how to reduce the load, actually I don't even think its possible being this is how I make an income. I'm sorry, but I just really need to vent. I'm so exhausted, but I am excited about us buying a house we actually LIKE and will live in long term rather than moving every 6 months.

Do you guys have mixed feelings about your wedding? I'm so excited to marry Michael and I'm so glad we're doing it at WDW, but does it ever feel stressful to you? Even though I'm an intimate I feel like I'm always trying to cater to everyone else in my family so that they are able to book accomodations, find places to eat, and get good rates. Like I really need another chore

Whew...that feels just a little better

 

[starflower]

I can understand how you feel. Our wedding is over a year away and it's already starting to seem like an insurmountable amount of planning. Maybe it's easier on my fiance, since he's established at work and already owns his own home. I'm in school and trying to complete an AS by the end of this year so when I move in with my fiance (also at the end of this year), I can get a moderate paying job so I can continue going to school for another two years for a BFA. Right now I'm in a teacher education program, so I have to do classroom time outside of school, plus I drive 100 miles to see my fiance almost every weekend, and I work part time as a seamstress and we're just starting to approach my busy season.

This year just seems overwhelming to me, but we've got to do some wedding planning, since we sign the contract in a month and then have the planning visit scheduled for August. So. Much. To. Do.

 

[WDWbride2007]

I think everyone feels that way at some point during the planning. I had been enjoying it for the most part until we decided to move it up to May. I have only had 4 months to plan the whole thing. I am very happy and excited, but also exhausted. Raul is finishing his Masters thesis, so I have been his personal coach, editor, and the co-writer and producer for his short film. In addition, I have planned the wedding pretty much on my own. My mom and sis have helped, but they live 2000 miles away. I am also a full-time grad student, and I need to turn in my thesis proposal in the next month. My project in the lab is not going well, so it has only added to the stress. To top it off, I also had to move about 2 months ago and our apartment is still a mess. So, the answer to your question is.....YES!!!!!!!!!!!! but on the brighter side, it will all be worth it when you arrive at Disney for your magical wedding.

 

[Mary626]

Funny that you ask that, because just last week I was thinking of making almost the exact same thread!

I think every bride gets to that point where "I just want it to be over with!!" -- I got there last week and it lasted a few days and I was totally in a I-want-to-pull-my-hair-out type of mood. After a 4 hour phone conversation at 3 am with my mother, and a much needed/much appreciated trip to a spa for a full body massage (was a gift from my mother in law since I opted not to have a bachelorette party), I felt much better. I think it was all a part of the process. The planning is fun for a long part of it, but then we do put SO much into this one day - expectations, money, trying to please everyone, etc.. that it can't help but culminate into that breaking point. Just try to find a way to relieve as much stress as you can - for me I decided not to do a few of the "special touches" i had planned and just focus on the things that meant the most to me...

I talked to a few other people about weddings, and everyone told me the same thing - you just get to start feeling "why am I putting so much energy into one day.. I just can't wait till it's over" .. but then eventually you feel better and when the day comes you will enjoy it (or so i've been told).

Goodluck with the move and with grad school! Everything will work out in the end and you'll have a wonderful day

 

[allisonswonderland]

I have been wrangeling with lists no on understands that when a place holds 300, it really only holds 300! I have been so frustrated and then the BC is booking up so I am beginning to worry about my room block (I have enough to meet the requirements) and the guests getting a good rate. It is stressful and that massage sounds good-

 

[WDWAurora]

I completely get it. This time last year, I was working on my thesis, going to school all day 4 days a week, working the 5th day, coming home (1.5 hrs) every weekend, so lost all that packing/driving time, spending all weekend doing wedding stuff, dealing with DH's bro's wedding and showers and stuff, and then just a lot of stuff with his family and it just was too much. It was horrible. Absolutely horrible. I can't tell you how much better life is right now...but the stress really does get better and all the hard work is worth it, but I would stop helping people plan their trips. That's just too much to expect of you right now, honestly. Maybe one of your parents, or your fiance, or SOMEBODY else can step up.

 

[AnimalPrincess]

Perfect time for this post. My wedding is almost a year away and I am very stressed out by it, but completely my own doing. I have been thinking about getting married my whole life so now that it is here I obsess over it (I have that type of personality). It doesn't help that things at work aren't going well so that just makes me obsess over the wedding even more!! Last night me and DF got into a big fight, and we never usually fight. Lately it has always been the same thing, about his mom...I feel that she doesn't support me. She wants what she wants even though she isn't paying for it. Anyways, last night it was about the room block, she wants to stay off property bc it will be cheaper, but of course if we dont fill it she wont be the one paying!!!
Anyways, I guess that we all feel that way at times....

 

[sajetto]

Awww thanks guys. Hugs to all of you who are feeling the stress

I think things might get better after we settle into the new house and close on the other one. Also, it would really help if his family and mine would fend for themselves with reservations. My sis calls constantly asking "what about this resort, should we eat here, could you look into some discounts, what do you think of DVC, do you think we should just buy in instead...yack yack yack, yack yack yack

I know I sound like the worst sister ever and probably a bridezilla, but I just want everyone to learn how to handle their own buisness

 

[hiwaygal]

Aww...sajetto...we can all sympathize!

I know when I was planning my wedding (and there was really no one else involved besides me, DH, and Disney) I had a lot of other stuff going on too.

I had started a new job a few months before, and one of our projects was going to bid. I volunteer for a competition for middle school students and all the information had to be sent out right about the same time as my wedding...then there was just the ordinary day to day stuff and even that got overwhelming!

What you are feeling is TOTALLY natural! Try to relax where your wedding is concerned though...remember that the folks at Disney are PRO's and could probably plan your whole wedding in a week! Even if you are stressing over it months in advance! And no matter how much planning and stressing you do, there will be bumps but in the end IT WILL BE MAGICAL! And everything you dreamed it could be!

Good luck with all the house stuff...if you do this kind of thing all the time then you are a PRO too and it will all work out okay!!

Tell all your family to come here and look around and ask questions...then they won't bother you!!

now...just BREATHE!!

 

[littleladykaty]

I'm SO with ya hun...I just did a "bridal blues" thread of my own not too long ago...it's just unbelieveable all we can pile on to our plates!! Sounds like you are in the lead though! We too are trying to figure out if we want to move or stay, buy or sell, new car or lease it, blah blah blah...it's crazy!!

I guess all we can do is keep breathing I just keep thinking that at the end of it all I will be married to my best friend and we get two whole weeks alone together and one of those weeks will be at Disney!!! YAY!!!

I think it's fantastic that y'all are doing the DVC thing...I am trying to get my sweetie on board...playing tapes while he's sleeping, explaining how great an investment it is...y'know stuff like that! I'm not sure he'll buy into it, but I'm hoping!!

keep posting...we're all here in the same boat and totally understand!!

 

[Brad&Kryssi]

As you can see...you're not alone in your current state of stress!

Just remember the outcome of all of this stress; you'll be married to the love of your life.

Hugs to you!

 

[janine]

Don't worry, I am sure most of us past brides have thought it at least once.
I had an overload at Christmas. In the space of one day (4 days before Christmas too!)my Husband had major kidney surgery just weeks before we were due to fly out to Florida, and Dinsye cancelled my reception as I had to be custom for the sort of reception I had booked through private dining at the GF.
Then just a few weeks later my dog died. It was a nightmare of a time. One the day of the surgery & the reception being cancelled, I had this sudden urge to throw everythign out relating to 'Disney'. The thought of me even going there was really upsetting me.
Thankfully....it passed....because it was just the best day ever!
Even with all the problems I had, Disney pulled it off and it was magical!
Don't lose heart, you WILL get through it, and you WILL say it was all worth it.

 

[princessblueeyzes]

Hang in there everyone- we all get stressed out at one point or another. It'll all eventually be ok and worth the stress! Just keep your heads up and remember to relax and also enjoy the things that truely do matter in life.

 

[engagedatWDW]

Well it's good to know I'm not the only one. Sajetto - a new house and a wedding? I'd be in a straight jacket before it was all said and done. Jason and I are going through the same things it sounds like. We're at that point in our lives where we're working towards our future. So when we're not talking about the wedding we're talking about our careers, or school, or moving, or money. I told him this morning that I need a break from everything. What I wouldn't give for a 3 day weekend! I had my first bridezilla moment earlier this week (others may disagree and be able to point out other moments, but whatever ). We're dealing with almost the same situation with the time of our ceremony and what to do after and now we're considering the MK photo shoot too. After we both had mini breakdowns and considered eloping or uninviting guests because of lack of cooperation, my new motto has become "I don't care - this is what we want and if they don't want to wake up early then they don't have to come."

I'm trying to think of all the good things going on, keep up with my lists and only think about things on certain days. I used to just be paralyzed thinking about every little thing that had to be done. Now if it pops into my head I check the schedule to see if I'm supposed to be thinking about it (ok, maybe I need to straight jacket now ).

You're working so hard now getting everything planned and booked that hopefully you'll have everything situated with months to just count down the days and relax.

 

[DisneyDiva74]

Sajetto, I'm not surprised that you're a bit stressed! It sounds like you are dealing with a TON!
I definitely have been feeling stressed too, but mostly just about the wedding coming together perfectly and everyone enjoying themselves. Plus, I'm very worried right now about MONEY, since we are dealing with a pretty limited budget.
I have been having to do all the planning myself, too, since my sister is getting married at my parents' house four months before me and my mom is planning the whole thing. I've been having to do it all without my mom's help, which is kind of sad. I feel like ever since I decided on Disney, my wedding has become the second class citizen. Oh well, I guess I should be feeling lucky that I'm able to get married at Disney at all.
As everyone else has said, once you get to Disney for the wedding, you'll forget what you were ever stressed about, I'm sure.

Amanda

 

[littleladykaty]

How true that Disney related weddings/honeymoons sometimes get the "second class citizen" status!! My family is just rolling their bratty little eyes all over the place when I talk about the Disney portion of our honeymoon...my fabulously beautiful little sister always says "Don't you think that's a little dorky? Y'know going to...*praticallly gagging* Disney world?! It's like I have apologize and remind people that we are also going on a cruise to St. Thomas, just to redeem myself... (OT, but my fiance's kids are Sara and Thomas and Sara wanted to know how come we weren't going to St. Sara instead! )

 

[engagedatWDW]

You know what, I'm getting sick of my family giving me this attitude too. Jason's brother couldn't be less supportive because he doesn't want to get "into" the Disney "thing." Yeah, heaven forbid you enjoy yourself. He's thinking about flying in and out the same day. The point of us having the wedding there is for people to share in what we felt and be happy for a few days. I guess it will be their loss.

 

[DisneyDiva74]

Yup, that's what I keep reminding myself...it will be their loss. I know that the wedding is going to be wonderful no matter what, but people who are giving me a hard time now and saying that they might not come will just be sorry later...sigh.

Amanda

 

[JandJ]

The stress is totally normal. Every bride has it and you might want to worry if you don't! The day before our wedding I was driving to Orlando with my dress in my car and my daddy and MOH (my niece) in his car with everything else. And we were over an hour late in leaving. I cried the ENTIRE drive - no joke - the whole 2 and 1/2 hours! DH kept calling me "the room's not right" "I'll try to get us another room" "my parents are here" "do you want a first floor room" "we can't get a king bed" "where are you" and finally I told him I've done everything for this wedding he had to fix the room and that was his job. Once I got there and he met us outside the WL and hugged me I was fine.

After a fabulous engagement and all the happiness surrounding the wedding planning I had a crappy year. I got the flu and bronchitis and didn't get to see my daddy for months because he has cancer and couldn't be around anyone sick because of the chemo. 4 months before my wedding my mom passed unexpectidly which caused us to cancel our at home reception (and almost the wedding but she would not have wanted that). DH bought us a house 5 months before, which was good but very stressful. I got a new job 3 months before the wedding and I had to move in just one day by myself over 200 miles. My Godfather passed away 2 months before. It was one thing after another after another and I finally saw a therapist, which didn't help my wedding stress one bit, but it was someone to talk to who didn't really know me and didn't judge me in any way and I could lay all the rest of it out. At the time I really needed that.

All this is to say - you will get through it all just fine . . . and be happy when it's over . . . I know I was

 

[Tinkerbelle14]

Stressed out bride here too! We hand in our Honours level thesis on May 16th, leave for Florida May 17th, get married May 20th, come home May 22nd, move into our first home May 26th, graduate June 8th and have our at home reception on June 25th. Needless to say, I've had quite a few "take a deep breath Jessica!" moments lately! Luckily my bridal shower was just this past Sunday (the 2nd) and my MOH basically took care of everything!