Overproctective parenting?

[MELSMICE]

I probably would not have pulled my kids out because someone else got hurt. Accidents happen.

Heck - one of my assistant's got stung by a bee the other day when she want to grab our attendance clipboard. The thing was hiding in the metal clip. Who would have thought that would happen? She was not allergic.

I will admit I'm always nervous about freak accidents happening, but you can't shelter your kids from everything.

 

[ThePetLady7]

DS16 plays football and runs hurdles, DD12 is a competitive cheerleader. Neither has suffered anything more than a strain or sprain while participating in their sport. Hurdles have been the worst, with DS pulling his hamstring pretty badly.

He did break his arm in 7th grade running and slipping on pavement. I broke my ankle in two places walking down stairs. We both still do those things frequently.

I never watch their activities thinking of what might go wrong, though I do have irrational fears of rails giving way from high places, or car doors flying open if leaned against.

 

[MELSMICE]

I never watch their activities thinking of what might go wrong, though I do have irrational fears of rails giving way from high places, or car doors flying open if leaned against.

That is so me........that's what I mean about freak accidents. When we're driving in the car & I see one of my DD's leaning against a door I will immediately lock all doors for fear of it flying open!

I hate to be stuck in my car under a bridge because "it might collapse".

I always think of what "might" happen. However, I never didn't allow something reasonable - only if I felt it was a serious potentially dangerous situation.

 

[sbell111]

Again, the referenced kids are 6 and 8. They have plenty of time for sports.

 

[golfgal]

DS16 plays football and runs hurdles, DD12 is a competitive cheerleader. Neither has suffered anything more than a strain or sprain while participating in their sport. Hurdles have been the worst, with DS pulling his hamstring pretty badly.

He did break his arm in 7th grade running and slipping on pavement. I broke my ankle in two places walking down stairs. We both still do those things frequently.

I never watch their activities thinking of what might go wrong, though I do have irrational fears of rails giving way from high places, or car doors flying open if leaned against.

oohhh, one of the worst athletic injuries I saw was one year coaching track and a hurdler hit a hurdle wrong and face planted on the track-major concussion, road rash, some missing teeth--OUCH. He went on to win the state track meet in the 100 meter hurdles that year though.

Again, the referenced kids are 6 and 8. They have plenty of time for sports.

The OP also said that the kids don't play outside either and that is MUCH more worrisome then not doing martial arts.

 

[sbell111]

The OP also said that the kids don't play outside either and that is MUCH more worrisome then not doing martial arts.

All we can really take from that is the fact that the OP doesn't often notice the children playing outside. Presumably, the OP is spending the bulk of her time living her life and raising her children, not keeping tabs on neighbors that she admittedly doesn't know all that well.

Either way, the issue of this thread is whether it's reasonable for a parent of 6 and 8 year old children to remove his/her children from a karate class after another child is injured in the class. Clearly, this is a question that each parent must ask themselves regarding the care and safety of their own children, but I cannot find fault in another parent for making such a decision and certainly would not label such a parent as 'overprotective'.

 

[Abbie]

She said she loved her kids and wouldn't do anything to get them hurt.

Please tell me you are paraphrasing and these weren't her exact words! Isn't that like saying the rest of us don't love our kids enough to keep them safe?? Unfortunately I think my inner snark would have exposed itself at that point.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I wouldn't put my kid in a martial arts classroom that had wood floors. That only shows the people who run the place have no idea what they are doing.

 

[Tinkermommy]

Please tell me you are paraphrasing and these weren't her exact words! Isn't that like saying the rest of us don't love our kids enough to keep them safe?? Unfortunately I think my inner snark would have exposed itself at that point.

No, I am not paraphrasing.

And to answer a PP on how I know her kids don't play outside. Her yard is open to mine. They have no swing set or other play equipment so when her kids do come out they play in my yard on our swing set (which they are welcome to do).

I am outside most evenings with my kids (gotta let them run off their energy). I also live on a cul-de-sac so most kids come and ride bikes, scooters, rollerblade right in front of my house. I have never seen the little girl on a bike/scooter. I have seen the son maybe 3 times total. He still doesn't know how to ride a bike. I also work out of my home and hear when kids are out playing.

She is just very protective of them but in IMHO to their detriment.

I also think that you do need to start your kids early (5 or 6) for lots of sports. Otherwise, when they are older, they won't have the experience of the other kids and it will show.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

I teach a martial art (fencing) to young kids. Mind you, we don't take them younger than 10, but still, they're young. We mostly teach on "gym" type floors. There's no throwing of people around in our sport, so we tend not to worry about the type of floor. In about 8 years of teaching I've seen 2 "real" injuries. A twisted ankle and a broken wrist (which a kid got falling over backwards during a warm up game and not while playing the sport).

I've never had a parent worry about the dangers of the sport or complain about an injury. They can see we wear protective gear. If they have questions about safety, which is rare, I answer them. If a kid gets bruised and cries, I let him/her sit out for a bit. I've never had a parent get mad cause their kid got walloped. Usually I hear them tell their kids something along the lines of, "What did you expect? You're playing with weapons!"

As for the kids, about once every other class I get the question, "Does it hurt?" The obvious answer is yes. Instead, what I do is answer with questions of my own-

Me: Ever been hit with a stick?
Them: Yeah.
Me: Did it hurt?
Them: Yeah.
Me: DID YOU DIE?!?!?!
Them: (laughing) No.
Me: Then don't worry about it.

Personally, not only would I not take my kids out of a sport if someone else got hurt, I wouldn't take them out of a sport if they got hurt. Broken bones happen. You live and learn. You don't stop learning just because you got an owie.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

So are there any sports you won't let your kids participate in because they might get hurt?

My son was in football for a year, although DW didn't like the idea because she was afraid he was going to get hurt. Part of the reason he stopped, I think, has to do with leg pain he gets a lot, plus the fact that he was stuck on the offensive and defensive line (he wanted to play safety and quarterback). He would rather watch it on TV and just throw the ball around outside.

I think I would protest if either of my kids decided to take up extreme skateboarding.

Both of my kids are in marching band. You'd be surprised by the number of sprained ankles that causes.

 

[golfgal]

My son was in football for a year, although DW didn't like the idea because she was afraid he was going to get hurt. Part of the reason he stopped, I think, has to do with leg pain he gets a lot, plus the fact that he was stuck on the offensive and defensive line (he wanted to play safety and quarterback). He would rather watch it on TV and just throw the ball around outside.

I think I would protest if either of my kids decided to take up extreme skateboarding.

Both of my kids are in marching band. You'd be surprised by the number of sprained ankles that causes.

and concussions, broken arms, black eyes, cuts requiring stitches......

 

[MELSMICE]

I also think that you do need to start your kids early (5 or 6) for lots of sports. Otherwise, when they are older, they won't have the experience of the other kids and it will show.

I agree with this. That's just the way it is nowadays.

My DD was a basketball player. She started at about 6 years but got serious & started playing travel when she was about 11. She was behind the kids that went to parochial schools & started younger.

As far as safety, UGH.......those girls beat each other up on the courts. Watching them play on a 3 on 3 tournament on a blacktop street can be torture for a mom, but she loved it. I've seen some broken bones, bruises, scrapes & other injuries, but I would have never taken it away from DD. She loved/loves the game.

 

[laughinplace199]

I think it's sad to avoid normal childhood activities for fear that something bad might happen.

DD takes dance, and has played softball and basketball. She was never injured at any of these activities.

However, she has split her chin open walking through our front hallway and she broke her arm when she fell down our stairs. I still let her do both of these things.

 

[AustinTink]

My daughter has been in martial arts for 2 years with the same teacher. Recently my neighbor has been bringing her 2 children (boy around 8 and girl around 6) to the same class.

When they didn't show up for a couple of weeks, I asked the teacher if they had been sick. He said they had withdrawn from class. Apparently in a week my daughter wasn't there a boy fell on the wood floor while trying to do a kick and split his chin. ( He did need a couple of stitches, but he has since started back in class.) This is the first time I have heard about an injury in this class.

So that same day when my neighbor came back to pick up her kids the instructor told all the parents about the injury. She went downstairs and immediately canceled their class. She told the instructor that she didn't want to take chances that her kids could get hurt.



I am not close to this neighbor. She rarely lets her kids out to play. And I hate to say it but they don't know how to play with other kids. There will be 8 kids out there and the daughter wants to talk to me and the son is kind of timid and just stands around.

I understand that kids can get hurt playing sports. Heck, they can get hurt walking down the stairs. But to not let them experience things (like sports) just because they may get hurt I think is a bit much. I think she is doing them a big disservice by isolating them from typical kid experiences.

On another note, my grandmother wouldn't let my uncle play hockey because she heard someone got killed when a puck hit them. But she let him play football which is rife with injuries.

So are there any sports you won't let your kids participate in because they might get hurt?

Out of this entire discussion, the bolded part is the one that struck me the most. My son was in Tae Kwon Do for years, is a black belt.. yada, yada. My only question was why the heck were they practicing kicks/forms on a WOOD FLOOR. Duh! It's martial arts they kick, punch and fall down a lot. I've never been in a martial arts facility without padded flooring.

That won't be the only kid to get hurt, I'm sure.

 

[minkydog]

My kids have had more injuries while NOT doing sports than they have participating in sports. DD17 is currently recovering from a broken foot she sustained when someone threw her in the pool--we were just glad she didn't fracture her neck or back! DS24 dislocated his knee cap when he slid(on purpose ) across the hardwoods. DS15 fractured his shoulder when he fell down three steps while carrying a toy in his hand. And that's only 3 examples--there's plenty more!

The only injury that occured during an outside activity was last year when DD17 was in a dance show. She had to enter the stage from under a large wooden box. On her way out she sliced her palm on a large staple. But she never stopped dancing. She had blood everywhere--very realistic since she was playing a zombie at the time.