Overproctective parenting?

[design_mom]

DD dances (not competitively) and DS plays hockey (competitively). I understand that kids can get hurt playing sports... or in everyday life. DD has had stitches twice, both from playground accidents.

However, I do try to make sure my kids are as safe as possible. DS wears all of his protective equipment when he plays hockey and the league does a good job of making sure kids aren't playing "dirty." I once pulled DD out of what was billed as a "creative movement class" when it turned out to be a tumbling class without mats. Another class "needed the mats" so they were doing things on the bare floor. Uh, uh. Get more mats.

So, although I don't think i'm "overprotective," I would pull my kid out if I was concerned that safety procedures weren't followed. I'll admit that I'm not all that familiar with TKD. Is practicing on a wooden floor common? The TKD schools I've seen in pictures appear to have mats/special floors.

If a kid had "just" gotten hurt doing TKD, it would not be enough to make me pull my child out of TKD. However, the fact that he was practicing on a bare wooden floor would concern me. If I didn't feel that safety was of high importance to the teacher/school, I would pull my child out of that particular class/school.

 

[Crystal0608]

I'm all for my kids playing sports and long as the are safe.

My ds (8) plays soccer, basketball, and AIS swim and in previously took hip hop dance and t-ball.

My dd (9) plays basketball & is in AIS Swim & swim team, soccer, and previously took ballet, tap, jazz, tumbling, & hip hop. This summer I signed dd up for rec league girls softball. It was her first year playing and the coach had her teenage sons fast pitching. I didn't like that, the yelling instead of instructing, and how unorganized it was compared to where my kids usually play at (but didn't have girls softball). Into the third practice I saw two girls injured and the coach didn't pay attention either time. First time, the boy threw the ball and it hit the girls wrist and she fell to the ground. Second time, the assistant coach threw the ball, one girl hit the ball and threw her bat which smacked a girl on the bench in the head hard and neither coaches checked on her whatsoever. I checked on her and found her grandparent. She had a huge goose egg and had to go to the ER and missed a day of school. It was dd's classmate and after that dd didn't want to go back and I didn't want her to so we quit.

 

[luvmy3]

I must be abnormal then, because at 7, I am encouraging DD to learn to control her body and experiment with what she can do. Yesterday, she was playing on the playground and scraped her underarm pretty bad. It has a nice welt about 3 inches long. I gave hugs and kisses, and then we packed up and went to taekwondo class where she stretched, broke boards, and sparred. I won't be keeping her off the playground today, either, though she might get hurt again. This weekend, she is going to shoot a bow for the first time and having taught archery, I know that many children pop themselves really hard with the string when they are learning. As a mom, I recognize that there is risk in learning new skills. I can't protect my child to the point that I keep her from growing or learning.

FWIW, I have seen a child and an adult hurt in TKD, but I have never felt like it wasn't safe enough to continue. When you do a sport, sometimes there will be a sprained ankle or a cracked tooth. From my observations, compared to football or gymnastics, the chances of injury in TKD class are low.

This is OT but my dd wants to try out for archeryfor school in the spring and she has no experience. I really want to get her lessons if there is such a thing, do you have any suggestions on where/how I could find something like that? We have done soccer, softball, dance, gymnastics, and martial arts but archery is totally new and not very common around here. (at least I don't think it is ).

 

[bettymae1121]

I don't think you've really had a childhood unless you had either stiches or a broken bone at some point (I had both! ).

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

dd wants to try out for archery for school in the spring and she has no experience. I really want to get her lessons if there is such a thing, do you have any suggestions on where/how I could find something like that?

Around here, it seems to be camps that have archery - I learned and taught at a summer camp, and DD is going to try it for the first time at a girl scout camp. Maybe your local sporting goods store would know of some resources.

 

[golfgal]

This is OT but my dd wants to try out for archeryfor school in the spring and she has no experience. I really want to get her lessons if there is such a thing, do you have any suggestions on where/how I could find something like that? We have done soccer, softball, dance, gymnastics, and martial arts but archery is totally new and not very common around here. (at least I don't think it is ).

Our park and rec department offers classes, the kids take a unit in PE this fall too.

 

[mamacatnv]

I kept son out of PopWarner football because of the over competitive nature (obnoxious coaches and parents) of the league here where I live. Baseball, soccer and basketball were bad enough He did play football in high school. Before that he played them all and had his share of injuries, it comes with the territory.

We have had lots of sports injuries, but the ironic thing, I ended up with one of the worst "sports injuries" a severed ACL, when I went to get into a seat on an airplane and simply stepped wrong. DS and I kind of laugh, all his years of sports and I, the non athletic Mom take out my ACL.

 

[mhsjax]

No. Martial arts are by definition arts of war. All the things you mention naturally come with mastery of a martial art, but the the purpose, the very reason for its existence is to hurt other people.

Sure it is, but in this world you are taught the art and then taught to avoid the physical fights at all costs, but if you do have to engage, you will know how to take care of yourself. YOu aren't instructed to "hurt other people" if you are then you need to find another instructor.

 

[DisneyKT]

Meh,I don't let it bother me if other people are over protective of their kids. I have friend and neighbor like that. I think it depends on how you grew up and what your own experiences are.

I hate seeing my young clumsy son, who falls every two minutes run on cement. I have a childhood friend who lost all their front teeth that way. It just makes me cringe. But I would say 90% of the time I let him do it. Sometimes I want to put a hockey mask on him.

 

[punkin]

Sure it is, but in this world you are taught the art and then taught to avoid the physical fights at all costs, but if you do have to engage, you will know how to take care of yourself. YOu aren't instructed to "hurt other people" if you are then you need to find another instructor.

No. I never said anyone was instructed to hurt people, but as you say, martial arts provide you with the tools to inflict pain so that you can walk away from a forced fight.

 

[mhsjax]

No. I never said anyone was instructed to hurt people, but as you say, martial arts provide you with the tools to inflict pain so that you can walk away from a forced fight.

Gotcha. Inflicting pain is a good thing when it comes to fighting. If you have to do it, you might as well be good at it.

My kids have never gotten into a fight, thank goodness. I tell them over and over again that they better never start one, BUT, if someone else does, then IMHO, they are more than welcome to go ahead an finish it.

 

[Pixiedust34]

So are there any sports you won't let your kids participate in because they might get hurt?

The only sport we wouldn't do is tackle football before the age of a high school student because of injury risk on growing bones and joints. Our ds did play flag football for a season. We've done baseball and Tae Kwon Do for a few years. Dd has been dancing for 9 years.

Oddly enough, neither kid showed an interest in joining a soccer team, which is the most popular sport here. However, during the summer we go to the pool nearly every day and there the kids play pick-up soccer games with other kids (kind of like neighborhood kids getting together for a spur-of-the-moment game).

My kids currently play an unusual sport. There is a camp here that offers dodgeball twice/week, and that's what they play. They LOVE it! Dodgeball can be pretty brutal if you get hit in the face, but they know that and enjoy playing. It's an active sport too because you're always moving. So far we've had 1 pair of broken glasses from dodgeball.

I saw archery mentioned. My dd did a season of archery last year at the same camp that offers dodgeball. Unfortunately, they discontinued the program this year. We would have signed her up again had it been offered.

 

[golfgal]

No. I never said anyone was instructed to hurt people, but as you say, martial arts provide you with the tools to inflict pain so that you can walk away from a forced fight.

Honestly, most kids that are in the martial arts under the age of say 16 or so are not strong enough to inflict any more pain on someone then they would in a regular fist fight. They don't actually practice hitting other people so the shock of actually landing a kick or punch is going to hurt them just as much.

 

[mhsjax]

Honestly, most kids that are in the martial arts under the age of say 16 or so are not strong enough to inflict any more pain on someone then they would in a regular fist fight. They don't actually practice hitting other people so the shock of actually landing a kick or punch is going to hurt them just as much.

Wrong. There are plenty of kids that are black belt under that age of 16 than can do a lot more damage than someone that has never been exposed to the martial arts.

Also I hate to tell you but they do hit. I don't know where you get this info from. Maybe when they are younger they don't, but trust me they hit. They land a lot of punches and kicks. YOu are way off base in this one.

I had to come back and add more. I understand that most kids don't go into the martial arts with all the dedication that some do. My oldest son is one of those that is very dedicated. It is what he does, he is almost 14 and been doing it since he was very young.

I also understand that there are many schools that really don't teach, they pretty much let you buy your belt. They have you test at certain intervals even if you aren't ready, this is how they make money. You get a black belt within a certain time because you test every 6 weeks, ready or not. These kids aren't learning the art at all and don't know how to hit or fight.

I can assure you that where my son goes, you ear your black belt or any belt. You go spare land you do have contact. I am here to tell you that I have watched these kids fight for al lest 5 years, and I can assure you that if these kids take it seriously and they take from a good school, then they are way more capable of inflicting much more pain than a person without this experience.

 

[golfgal]

Wrong. There are plenty of kids that are black belt under that age of 16 than can do a lot more damage than someone that has never been exposed to the martial arts.

Also I hate to tell you but they do hit. I don't know where you get this info from. Maybe when they are younger they don't, but trust me they hit. They land a lot of punches and kicks. YOu are way off base in this one.

I have 3 kids that are black belts in Tae Kwon Do and the ONLY time they land kicks or punches is at a tournament with full body pads on and even then only in targeted areas of the body. If they kick too hard they are disqualified. In class they ONLY land punches and kicks on sparring dummies-NEVER on other people. I don't know where YOU get your information.

 

[mhsjax]

I have 3 kids that are black belts in Tae Kwon Do and the ONLY time they land kicks or punches is at a tournament with full body pads on and even then only in targeted areas of the body. If they kick too hard they are disqualified. In class they ONLY land punches and kicks on sparring dummies-NEVER on other people. I don't know where YOU get your information.

I get my info from years of Tae Kwon Do experience in my family. That is where. OH and one son that is a black belt. I woulnd never want my kids to go into a tournament when they had never landed a punch or a kick on a real person.

OUr were gear when they do this, but they do have contact. And on our Black Belt tests, it gets ugly, they are attacked from behind as a surprise and there is fighting going on.

 

[Tinkermommy]

Thanks everyone for your responses.

I did see my neighbor at the bus stop and asked her about it. She said that a child had gotten hurt and she took them out. She said she loved her kids and wouldn't do anything to get them hurt.

I also think that if you have a timid child, martial arts is a great way to help them overcome it. In the two years my daughter has been going, I have seen some very shy kids become very confident. One little girl used to cry at every class. Now she loves breaking boards.

So in my daughter's they do use mats when they are sparring, doing jump kicks and rolls. But the boy in question is a white belt and they were doing basic kicks (no jumping), so not sure exactly how he got hurt. He is still in class though.

My daughter is a green belt and does do sparring with the teacher and the other green belts of equal size. They have pads and she's never gotten hurt. The teacher wants them to get used to kicks and punches so they aren't stunned when it does happen and they can keep going. I agree with this.

In reading the responses, I would say that I am in the camp of let the kids try it as long as the program and the teachers have proper equipment and procedures.

 

[sbell111]

Thanks everyone for your responses.

I did see my neighbor at the bus stop and asked her about it. She said that a child had gotten hurt and she took them out. She said she loved her kids and wouldn't do anything to get them hurt.

...

In reading the responses, I would say that I am in the camp of let the kids try it as long as the program and the teachers have proper equipment and procedures.

It seems that you and your neighbor are in agreement on the bolded bit. She allowed her young children to try karate. Another child was injured, which suggested to her that perhaps 'the program and the teachers didn't have proper equipment and procedures'.

The decision to pull her kids out of the class was hers to make. I don't see the point of second guessing her.

 

[RockAndRollBallerina]

Kids need to be kids! This involves getting messy and dirty while playing outside, and it also includes realizing yes your kid is going to get bruises, cuts, bumps, and scrapes all of which is normal kid stuff. Yes, this particular parent is being way too over protective. Regardless of what activity a parent puts their kid in there is always the chance of injuries happening. I've been in dance since I was 3 (I'm 21 now), and a few injuries did not have my mom pulling me out of dance class. I guess you could call it knowing the risks involved with enrolling your child in a particular activity before hand.

 

[Tinkermommy]

It seems that you and your neighbor are in agreement on the bolded bit. She allowed her young children to try karate. Another child was injured, which suggested to her that perhaps 'the program and the teachers didn't have proper equipment and procedures'.

The decision to pull her kids out of the class was hers to make. I don't see the point of second guessing her.

Fair enough. I think her level of "safety" and mine are definitely different. And apparently for the boys parents who got hurt as he is still in class.

I am not second guessing her decision as a parent. She has every right to pull her kids if she wants. I do think that her kids are missing out though. If they were in other sports or even played outside with the other neighborhood kids it would be one thing, but they don't. And the boy is timid, it would benefit him to try to gain some confidence and sports (especially martial arts) can be a great way to do that.