Overgifting

[Mom to Jordan]

I have seen the "Tinker Bell" gift threads my self and thought that it was a bit overboard. I like the focus to be on the trip and that itself is enough. Now I do have to watch myself tp keep from buying too many souveniors. I too had parents that would not "waste" money on those things. When DS was little he always got something, and most of the time a shirt also. Now, and since he was about 9, he gets to send what he has and that is it except we will buy one shirt and a cap. Most of the time we give him the chance to earn money and then match. Most trips he had about a hundren dollars and has never spent it all. He has never been into the comercial type stuff but will save his money till we get home and buy something he really wants. Last trip he bought a WDW watch. When we was little, I would buy little items that we needed for the trip anyway in WDW themes like a mickey tooth brush or WDW juice boxes and not show them to him but just lay out the tooth brush the first night at brush time and he was so excited. We too would alway buy the light up toys at the night show and even bought for another child once. Guess I'm a softly but just could not stand to see my child not have one!
This is another one of those to each his own issues but I have enjoyed hearing what others have to say.

Jordan's mom

 

[jennymouse]

My 10yo granddaughter loves pin trading and buying pins. Sometimes she'll want something other than pins when we're there, sometimes not. She usually saves her own money and receives Disney Dollars for birthdays, etc. before we go and uses that to buy pins or whatever. This time we're surprising her and her little sister who'll be two (her first trip) so she won't be saving up for it. Although it's a week later, the trip is to celebrate their birthdays, but I'm afraid if the oldest gets a bunch of Disney Dollars for her BD she's gonna suspect something.

 

[LisaInNc]

I usually buy things ahead of time on sale or on Clearance at TDS. My DD gets a gift of something for that day. Maybe it's a tee shirt and a princess pad. Maybe it's special pajamas to wear to bed, It is usually things she needs anyway. When we drive down it is a long ride and she gets a lot of items that will be used for the drive home and a fresh Princess pad or small coloring book will keep her occupied while waiting for dinners, in the hotel room etc. I can take her anywhere as long as she can color.

I also let her pick out 3 things on the last day when I say 3 I mean totaaling 30.00. This time she opted for a Jasmine hairbrush, a watch and a pin. She had been coveting the watch and the pin all week. I really enjoyed her anticipation.

 

[robinb]

Am I the only parent who believes that a trip to WDW is pretty much a treat in and of itself?
{snip}
My kids are pretty aware of the economics of life, so they will have a set amount to spend on souvenirs while there.
{snip}
Am I in the minority here?

I'm glad you have a system that works for you.

Exactly when do think something becomes "overgifting"? I see it as a way to make the child's trip extra-special. And why not? Someone else's "economics of life" may be quite different than yours. If someone wants to treat their kids to Tinkerbelle Gifts, Mickey Bars or even a dinner cruise on The Grand, then why should you care?

We will be celebrating my DD's birthday on our next trip. She will receive bithday presents and she and her cousin will receive Tinkerbelle Gifts as a way of encouraging cooperation throughout the day.

 

[DisneyDotty]

Give this a try-it really adds to the magic of any adventure! At Disney I will be doing what we did a few months back while on a cruise. I would watch and see the little things that caught my son's eye. Then, when he was out of sight, I would sneak to the counter and purchase that little gift. I would then surprise him with it when he would least expect it. For example, on our last trip, it was a little hand carved turtle that he just loved. That night, while he was getting for bed, I put it on his pillow. His eyes light up like it was Christmas morning! And you know what, that became one of his prized possessions! I did the same for my husband, too.

What a neat idea!
We gave dd11 and ds7 a set amount ($50) they could spend at WDW. Dd spent it all to the penny. Ds bought nothing. He had more fun looking at everything and just being at Disney that he never could decide on any purchases, and he was fine with that.

We enjoyed being there so much that we really didn't shop a lot.

 

[jrjac]

I don't really understand all the people that want the surprises in their hotel rooms, etc. as my kids want to pick out and buy their own goodies, anyway.

Lives4Disney

Just felt the need to clear up what I posted yesterday. I wrote that I love buying little things (nice things, not junk) and leaving them, for example, on my son's pillow when on vacation. They are some of his most prized possessions! However, this is just a little added touch and we do it maybe once or twice on a vacation-not every night.. He also brings his saved allowance to be able to pick out & pay for things on his own. We may match his allowance this year. And we buy him, for example, a t-shirt and a really nice souvenir, say a watch-no junk!

 

[jonestavern]

even though DS16 has a job, we advise him not to take over $75.00. We do buy him a few things--this time the large old-time Mickey coffee mug. Dive Quest comes w/a tee shirt, so that was taken care of. Yes, just being at Disney is a treat! I do like to add some surprises for DS--we treated him w/ Dive Quest & will again this Nov-
I do like buying a practical or very nice souvenir. If something seriously catches DS' eye, I will buy it & save it as a surprise gift for when we return home-helps break that post-Disney let down!
When we are at WDW it's things like the wake-up call, Hidden Mickeys book or just Mickey waffles that make the visit cool--
Jean

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

I'm glad you have a system that works for you.

She will receive bithday presents and she and her cousin will receive Tinkerbelle Gifts as a way of encouraging cooperation throughout the day.

You pay your kids to cooperate? I've never tried that system, I'm glad it works for you!

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

I agree that a trip to WDW is the BEST gift. We have such fun together as a family!

Lives4Disney

I agree that it' the togetherness that's most important. Silly things like being the first to spot an out-of state plate in the parking lot to playing games of crazy 8s in the room before bed and planning out our next day's adventures over dinner, etc.

I can't wait to take my kids there!!!

 

[skiwee1]

You pay your kids to cooperate? I've never tried that system, I'm glad it works for you!

Works great for me too! I have often used the "if you don't behave you can forget about that snowglobe you had your eye one!". I have 3 kids ranging from 23 to 6. It has always worked for us and we have ended up with great kids who are not spoiled and have grown up wonderfully.

 

[chabs]

I agree with the OP about overgifting. As a former overgifter myself (there should be a 12 step program for this LOL), I am really trying to get away from buying so much stuff! I stay away from Target when I know they are having their 75% off sales on toys because then I end up with too much meaningless stuff/junk. Same goes for Disney-I used to buy my kids one toy or present every day and buy them special toys for the plane, but now they earn their own money around the house and are really choosy when it comes to spending their own nickel. Trust me-they don't leave disappointed. They are happier with the things that they really wanted, than the pile of stuff that they just had to have because they saw it for a split second in the store.

I do think that the Tinkerbelle idea is cute though-and something I might have done if my kids were younger. I don't knock people for buying or doing whatever they think is right for their family-it's just personally for our family-enough is enough!

It has nothing to do with economics-I just can't stand the thought of having too many toys and not enough space to put them in. I would rather buy my kids quality over quantity any day than to bring home a whole suitcase full of junk that my kids will forget about a week later.

 

[gypsydoodlebug]

My mom and I were talking about this the other day as we plan our Sept. family trip with DD2. One of the best things she did for my DB and I when we went to WDW for the first time (back in 1987) was to make us save our own money -- and then she promised to match whatever we had saved. DB blew ALL his money at the arcade -- and that was OK, because he'd saved it and he could spend it any way he wanted. I used mine to buy a HUGE Minnie Mouse stuffed doll, and I was so proud to carry it around the park. It taught us to save AND to spend wisely. I think i had about $90 after Mom matched it, which was a lot to a 10 year old.

 

[Disneyfun2]

I agree with you. The way I figure is that it is expensive enough to just get to the parks, eat and sleep. Now while I love to shop and it is difficult to avoid going overboard. The kids are told to save their money and that money is for them to do as they please (with in reason) at the parks. This is teaching them how to save their money during the year and how not to waste it. Like I said I love to shop, but I buy at least 1 big gift (shirt or something) or 2 little ones for my girls.

 

[crisi]

Just felt the need to clear up what I posted yesterday. I wrote that I love buying little things (nice things, not junk) and leaving them, for example, on my son's pillow when on vacation. They are some of his most prized possessions! However, this is just a little added touch and we do it maybe once or twice on a vacation-not every night.. He also brings his saved allowance to be able to pick out & pay for things on his own. We may match his allowance this year. And we buy him, for example, a t-shirt and a really nice souvenir, say a watch-no junk!

Junk is, however, in the eye of the beholder. It doesn't have to be a disposable plastic toy to qualify as junk. My mother in law and I have a long term problem in this respect - she loves giving me gifts - and they are often very nice gifts. But in my house, if I have to dust it, unless I picked it out special, its junk.

 

[poohpcgirl]

I have to say that being a first time Mommy and only having one child, I may tend to overgift. But I am trying to do better about it, as I am having to pack up stuff for the goodwill and local charities to get back my house. I come by it honest... my Dad is a long going garage sale nut. He is a pack rat and has one of everything...
But I digress...
This is my child's first trip to Disney. He will be almost four. I am not sure how long it will be before we will get to go back. He will not believe in Magic, Fairys, Santa etc. for too many more years. Hopefully he will be like me and come back around to loving these things when you get older and its ok to be un-cool. LOL... I plan on Mickey leaving him little gifts at night. I think it will make this even more magical for him and me. I read about the idea here and I have been shopping for cute little things for six months. I also bought stuff for my Godson (9), but we will know where it is coming from. it is his first trip too. I think to each his own and do what makes the trip special for you. After all.... ITS DISNEY WORLD!!!! THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH!!

 

[robinb]

You pay your kids to cooperate? I've never tried that system, I'm glad it works for you!

Gee ... that sounded pretty snarky! Does Santa come to your house? Does he see kids are that both naughty and nice? Does he bring gifts to naughty children?

Well ... Tinkerbelle will be filling in for Santa in a couple of weeks for my DD and her cousin. We are treating my sister's daughter to WDW so she can be a companion to my DD. The problem is that the girls only get along about 23 hours a day with about an hour of fighting and "That's not fair!" and "You care for her more than me!" thrown in for fun . To help smooth over the rough spots, Tinkerbelle will watch over the girls and if they are good all day, she will leave them a present under their pillow along with some pixie dust. Since Tink is just a tiny fairy, the present itself will also be very small but the girls will get a kick out of it. My guess is there will be a huge attitude adjustment when Tink leaves only pixie dust behind one morning because they were particularly rude the day before.

FWIW, a rewards system works for many, many parents. I reward with paper clips for everyday good behavior and cooperation in situations that would otherwise make my DD lose it. Her paperclips can be turned in at any time: a few for something small and a lot for a bigger item. My DD is a strong-willed, spirited child. The lure of the paper clips motivates her to get a hold of her temper and cooperate and it has worked wonders for our family. Many other families call this an "allowance", but at 5 she knows no value of money.

Again, I'm glad that you have a solution that works for your family ... but I wasn't snarky about your choices. I don't know why you feel the need to be snarky about other people's choices.

 

[emer95]

I absolutely agree with you, OP! I'm thrilled to see this kind of post, because I was starting to think I was the only one!
I'm not knocking other people's choices, but I totally agree that a trip to Disney World is a huge, wonderful gift IN ITSELF! This is the first time we'll take our dd's, age 6 and our little one will turn 5 while in Disney- and guess what? Disney IS her present!! Our extras are things like a Character breakfast and a special dinner on her actual b-day. She had two birthday parties this weekend- one with her friends and one with family. Our families and friends are very, very generous to her- she has more clothes, toys, books, goodies, etc. than any kind could ever need. I looked at my dh and said, "What more could we possibly have bought for her?" She wants for NOTHING, let me assure you, and we have never been the type of parents to buy things for the kids every time we go to the store. On the rare occasion that they ask for something we tell them to remember to ask for it for Christmas, and they're totally fine with it. If they need something, obviously we get it, and we give it to them with fanfare and big excitement, like dd's new backpack for Kindergarten. But the last thing on earth I need is more toys and knick-knacky things cluttering up my house. There's enough at Disney to keep them happy and filled with wonder, and they'll never know the difference if they come home without souvineers!
JMHO!

 

[jrjac]

GYPSYDOODLEBUG,

The picture you have on your posts ("Off to Neverland") is absolutely beautiful! Just had to write and let you know that!

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

Gee ... that sounded pretty snarky! Does Santa come to your house? Does he see kids are that both naughty and nice? Does he bring gifts to naughty children?

Again, I'm glad that you have a solution that works for your family ... but I wasn't snarky about your choices. I don't know why you feel the need to be snarky about other people's choices.

I'm not being snarky. As I mentioned in my original post, I wondered about being in the minority on this. You don't need to beat me up over wondering when too much is too much, and you certainly didn't need to go out of your way to defend your gift-giving right

That being said, we do all make our own choices based on what works for our own families. I never did the bribery thing (save for the one time I promised my 4 yr old a t-bird if she would stop singing in the movie theatre so I could actually stay and see a movie) - of course, she doesn't remember me offering her a t-bird and I will never remind her!

What works for me is letting the kids get a pack of their favorite gum and a new book to read for the flights. Those are their two favorite things in the world. They keep travel journals and write in them each night. They will make wonderful keepsakes when they are older and want to remember the details that can escape us over time... If they are lucky I won't accidentally toss them in an anti-clutter moment

 

[DVC Mary]

Every family finds what works for them. Lets share ideas & hopefully help each other.

I like to plan one surprise present or excursion for my family as gifts and keep purchases to the usual 1-2 t-shirts & $25 spending money for each kid to decide how to spend. They also save change they get & find (DS 5 actually hunts & finds change everywhere) in a Disney piggy bank on our kitchen island.

We also reward for the first time someone is tall enough or brave enough to go on special rides w/ a pin from that ride. They really treasure these.

Ideas for surprise excursions/events:

breakfast at the castle
pirate cruise from the GF
stay Concierge for a night or two at AKL & take the family safari
gift in the room when they arrive on the cruise
trip to SeaWorld one day
knowing where to sit/stand/clothes to wear to increase chances of having a child picked to do something
special tours ex.) Family Magic at MK
vacationing during Star Wars weekends
Fireworks cruise (haven't done it yet, but hope to share one someday)