"Outing Santa" - how? what do you think?

[K and K's Mommy]

I've got a 10.5 year old who still believes. My mom thinks he is pretending, but I really don't. I can just tell that he still believes what he is saying. I don't have any intentions of telling him. No one ever told me. It was just something I figured out. My DH was told and still remembers the details and how sad he was.

 

[jeepgirl30]

I swore I'd never tell my kids the truth. My mom never told me! I did stop believing at a normal age, not sure exactly when but i was still fairly young. We just didn't talk about it. It was fun to pretend. One year I even got both my parents presents from "santa". Just because you don't believe in the person doesn't mean you don't believe in the idea.

However I did tell my daughter a couple weeks ago. She is 9. Way to young for my taste but she is very sensitive and very into being told the truth on things. She begged me to be honest and tell her the truth. I did. She was like "oh, okay I figured". I asked if she was disappointed or hurt and she said she was just glad i finally "told her the truth for ONCE". gee thanks!

I'm hoping DS7 will allow me to pretend and we don't have to talk about it. He has already made comments that make me believe his is questioning.

I would not tell him. There is no harm in believing. Maybe mention downsizing but don't crush him!

 

[Chicago526]

What the heck do you mean, there isn't a Santa?! That's crazy talk!

 

[tink_lover]

I'm getting teary-eyed reading the responses as I think dd10 still believes but it will probably be the last Christmas all the kids do. I was never told and I don't plan on outright telling the kids. It is part of the magic of the season for me. The kids all believe that the local mall Santa (the one they have taken pics with every year since babies) is the one. When they see other Santas, their comment is "that's just a Santa helper."

 

[eliza61]

1) Nah, my son believed for a very long while and it was no big deal. Once or twice he's big brother tried to tell him. It was very funny watching him stand his ground to his big brother.

I don't really remember when my kids figured it out but as long as they loved "Santa" I saw no reason to kill the fantasy. They figure it out by themselves soon enough.

 

[K and K's Mommy]

I swore I'd never tell my kids the truth. My mom never told me! I did stop believing at a normal age, not sure exactly when but i was still fairly young. We just didn't talk about it. It was fun to pretend. One year I even got both my parents presents from "santa". Just because you don't believe in the person doesn't mean you don't believe in the idea.

However I did tell my daughter a couple weeks ago. She is 9. Way to young for my taste but she is very sensitive and very into being told the truth on things. She begged me to be honest and tell her the truth. I did. She was like "oh, okay I figured". I asked if she was disappointed or hurt and she said she was just glad i finally "told her the truth for ONCE". gee thanks!

I'm hoping DS7 will allow me to pretend and we don't have to talk about it. He has already made comments that make me believe his is questioning.

I would not tell him. There is no harm in believing. Maybe mention downsizing but don't crush him!

I know I said I wouldn't tell my DS 10, but if he flat out asked, I think I would probably have to tell him the truth. I guess I need to figure out what to say in case he does. I just don't see that happening...

 

[Boston Tea Party]

"Outing" Santa? I had no idea he was gay. Doesn't matter one way or another to me. I still love him.

 

[TanyaLovesPooh]

My daughter was 10 1/2 last Christmas and she still believed. Even though her friends and other kids had been telling her he wasn't real for years. She finally asked me a few weeks after Christmas last year. She told me she really wanted to know the truth. So I told her that Santa Claus began with Saint Nicholas and went on from there.

She was bummed but glad I told her. I asked her the other day if I still should make some presents from Santa and she replied, "Of course, Mama".

 

[MizTink]

i always handled the huge expensive wish lists by saying that santa brought only one simple gift to each child. the rest is mommy and daddy. and we never told them which ones were from us and which was supposed to be from santa.
i don't remember exactly how old my ds was, but i know he was very young because he was laying in the bathtub talking to me. that ended a long time ago!!! anyways, i remember him begging me to tell him the truth about santa. i asked him what HE thought and he said he didn't think santa was real cuz if he was there's no way he would let the poorer kids suffer and do without so much. and if he had these "magical powers" to give kids so many toys, then why wouldn't he also be able to heal sick people.
WOW....how could i argue with that? but it did lead to a great discussion about the real world.
that boy is 16yrs old now and has ALWAYS been mature beyond his years.

 

[MsLeFever]

"Outing" Santa? I had no idea he was gay. Doesn't matter one way or another to me. I still love him.

Nope not gay...

Only one outfit
Out of shape
and Mrs. Claus is too much of a woman to just live as a "beard"

 

[MerMom60_94]

DD believed in Santa for a very, very, very long time. Finally, I was concerned that she would start getting teased if somebody didn't clue her in (I am talking Junior High). I didn't sit down and have a talk with her but I guess I just started saying things as though she already knew. She never protested and I suspect she knew for awhile but was continuing to believe just as a matter of spirit. You probably could go another year or so depending upon the kids in school and whether teasing is a concern. One thing that I think made it fun for DD once I did clue her in is that I let her participate in the secret. DD is an only child so I didn't have to worry about younger siblings, but she does have young cousins. Once she learned Santa wasn't real she could be "one of the grown ups" and have fun with being in on it with her younger cousins. Perhaps your son will enjoy being in on making his sister's Christmas magical and playing a part in picking her Santa gifts or telling Santa tales.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

I would never ever out Santa. DD is 9 this year and I have a feeling this will be her last year of believing in Santa. It just breaks my heart.

Both my kids TOTALLY believe in Santa, they are starting their list discussions and I love eavesdropping on them while they develop their lists. Its so innocent and pure

 

[MerMom60_94]

I am back to tell you I asked DD last night when she REALLY stopped believing. DD is now a Freshman in high school and turns 15 next week. She told me she stopped believing when I told her and had no idea before that. She then told me one of her teachers had said something about no Santa in front of the class this week and there were still several kids who still believed. In ninth grade!! Who knew?!? Perhaps OP has a few years to worry about this. I would just keep my eyes and ears open and if you sense your child is starting to get a hard time from other kids it will be a sign that it is time. Enjoy it while he still believes.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

I bet he already knows. He probably doesn't want to hurt YOUR feelings so he plays along with it. I know I did that with my mom. She never really told me "the truth" and I never really told her "I knew". I don't think there needs to be "a talk" about Santa.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'd either tell him the truth or I wouldn't tell him anything.

My son asked when he was 10 and I finally told him the truth. He was a little angry with me for not telling him sooner because he'd defended Santa at school when the other kids said he was not real. He got over it quickly, though.

Your son has heard at school that Santa isn't real, I guarantee it. He's chosen to believe what he believes and that's a beautiful thing, imo. If he asks, explain. If not, I'd let it go.

 

[kidzmom3]

if he asks you should tell him the truth. 11 years old is middle school. I would be highly surprised that a middle school child still believed in Santa.

 

[CanBeGrumpy]

I once felt compelled to sit my then-11 year old son down and tell him the truth about Santa Claus (and our truth is the same as yours, regarding St. Nicholas and Christ).

I have regretted it ever since.

VillageMama, I did the exact same thing, but my son was younger (I think 8 or 9) and it was Easter. Although I do have some regrets about doing it (he cried, and of course asked about Santa) I was also relieved to have done it. The older he got, the more the whole thing felt like "lying" and not just a fun fantasy anymore. It just started to feel wrong.

Of course, after the experience with my older one, I said I would not do it with the younger one until he was older. Well, a boy in his class did the job for me last year (at age 9) and I was actually relieved! It was a little tough having the actual conversation, though, because after the boy at school told my son, my son asked me to tell him the truth, and I hemmed and hawwed and said I wasn't ready to discuss it, but finally he asked so forcefully that I told him. Of course, he then wanted to know why we "lied" to him all of those years!

I don't know, this is such a tough one. I really did start to feel, as my kids got older, that it was becoming more like a lie than a fun fantasy. I just wasn't comfortable with it anymore. I probably should have waited longer to tell the older one, but in the end I think it worked out OK. I'm going to ask him when he is older how he felt when I told him (although maybe I don't really want to know!!) OP, good luck with this, it is so hard, and each child is different.

 

[manning]

Here's the story. I've got an 11 year old who still seems to believe in Santa. (he may be playing me...but I really don't think so).

He has a really expensive list this year and I feel that the time may have come to spill the beans on Santa.

However - part of me thinks it is fun to believe and why should I blow it? He hasn't really brought up the subject himself at all. This is a kid who has a mighty belief in magic - I finally had to tell him that the Disney characters (although they have their own reality of sorts) are represented by actors in costume. That was THIS SUMMER!

So a two part question really?
1) would you tell him "the truth"? If I opt for this I plan to tell him about St. Nicholas and how parents are inspired by his love and Christ's love to give presents on Christmas..

2) if so - HOW? I want to make this gentle - he's got a younger sister who needs to hold on to Santa a bit longer.

thanks!

Give him the best gift you can, a big hug, a kisss, merry christmas and I love you.

We stopped getting presents in our teens. The family gathering was the thing.

 

[I Am What I Am]

I say that if he does come to you and ask "Is Santa Claus real or not?" then you tell him. Otherwise let him have just one more year. My mom told me this February and I was a little sad.

 

[Mommy2cody]

My son is 8 almost 9. He started asking me some detailed questions about Santa last Christmas. (How can Santa go to every house in one night? How can Reindeer fly? How does Santa fit everyone’s toys on his sleigh? Stuff like that) I answered his questions exactly the way we have told him before, but I tried to sneak in a little "you must believe to receive" messages in there. I told him Santa was like magic. You can't see how it is done, but it just happens and you just have to believe in it. I am hoping to NEVER have to tell him Santa doesn't exist, I am hoping he just figures it out on his own. Wishful thinking!

I still remember the day my mom told me (I was 12)....I felt so stupid for not figuring it out on my own!! But I did have a very young brother and sister!! LOL!