Our "Trip of a Lifetime!" (I mean "A Fat Girl's Vacation!") AKL from 1/07-1/16

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(I've bumped up my pre-trip reports if you want to get some background info on us and our trip.)

Saturday, January 8, 2005 (The Peabody bachelor, a toilet TV, and John Travolta in US!)

Well, I’ve spent this past week at the Peabody at my work convention, and yesterday, after all was said and done, I checked into our room at the Royal Pacific Resort in Universal. Now, since I know most of you really aren’t interested in US, I’ll keep it brief (and brief usually means “uninteresting” so please bear with me). If anyone has any questions about our stay at Universal Studios, please don’t hesitate to private e-mail me.

Anyway, a quick word about the Peabody... it’s a fabulous hotel. The beds are cozy, the room is nice and large, and who doesn’t love the TV in the bathroom? I’ve officially declared “watching TV while blow drying your hair” the coolest thing a gal can do. The ducks are pretty cool (if you’re all dressed up and getting ready to go out and have a few drinks). All of us girls thought they were adorable and blew kisses at them and gave them names. But then on the last day when we were leaving (when it was daytime, sunny and the whole world slowed down to accommodate my headache), we happened to catch the little parade to the fountain. It’s basically just a group of mallards who are hungry and want to eat the food that has been discreetly placed on the side so they run up the red carpet. We all looked at each other in disappointment. That was it? That’s the big deal? But one of the guys reminded us that two nights ago when we were “sipping” our wine, we had all but practically proposed to the “cute little spotted guy with the green.” Oh yeah... forgot about that. That was us. I think we actually fought over that hot little dude. The food was okay here. The hotel IS an older hotel, and it feels like it. Now, physically, there is nothing wrong. The staff does a great job of keeping things polished and neat. But there is no “ooh” or “aahhh” as you walk in the door. It was a great stay, but I personally wouldn’t pay to stay there on my own.

So when my conference was finished, I called and asked the RPR for an early check in. They happily obliged. I had a friend drop me off, and I have to say that I was impressed. And not just “oh, this hotel is nicer than I thought” impressed. I’m talking “WOW” impressed. Weeks ago I was bummed that I had to go with the “least” of the three US hotels because of the cost, and I truly expected to see a hotel that looked “inexpensive.” Well, let me tell you – the RPR is beautiful. It is absolutely gorgeous. It’s decorated in subtle, rich Indian tones (imagine the store Bombay) and gorgeous woodwork and orchids are everywhere. If you were in the lobby Friday night and happened to catch me fiddling with the timer on my digital camera in order to take a pic of me and the flowers... my sincerest apologies. Our room was definitely small, but the colors were fabulous. The room was so warm and inviting. The decor blew away my room at the Peabody. Our bathroom was superb! No TV though. Darn it... I’m really going to miss listening to that Orlando traffic report while exfoliating.

So Steve arrived at about 1:00am Friday/Saturday. He was dead tired (as was I) so he gave me a big hug, commented ever so briefly on the hotel decor, and practically ran to the room. We were in bed within minutes and fell asleep almost immediately. Of course, we slept in the next morning and took our time getting ready. We had a nice breakfast buffet at the Islands restaurant in the hotel (which was almost completely empty!), and then headed over to Islands of Adventure. Again, I’m not going to spend too much time on this park’s detail, but it was okay. Spiderman was great. The Hulk broke down before I could ride it. Amazing... people were stuck up there for almost an hour. I would have FREAKED!!! But our favorite thing was Poseidon’s Fury. It was a hot, sunny day, and the crowds were quite thick, I thought. But it’s nice that the sun goes down early this time of the year. We arrived at the park by 12:30 in the afternoon (which is probably horrifying to all of you who hit the parks early) and we were done by 4:30. We saw everything that we wanted to see, and really had no interest in the water rides (there were several).

We went back to the hotel, took a nice nap, and then headed to City Walk where walked around and people watched. We also had a nice dinner at Pat O’Brian’s (after a 45 minute wait). The fire-fountain is so cool! And everyone there is usually so drunk! It’s really interesting to people watch there. Oh, and all I have to say is that I am so grateful that there is a Starbucks within Citywalk. As an upper mid-western native, I literally fall into a deep, destructive hypersleep if I don’t get my Starbucks, Tim Tim Hortons or Caribou Coffee. I’m not picky... I’ll take any one of the three. What in the Small World am I going to do at Disney without it????

I’ve got a little story to tell you, though. It’s about my little “episode” tonight. (That’s what Steve likes to call them. He thinks it’s a little like Turrets or Epilepsy. I knew people in the past who have had both of those. It’s not quite me. I’m thinking that maybe it’s multiple personality syndrome? You tell me.) I am the kind of person that acts and speaks without thinking first, and yep... it’s always gotten me in big heaps of trouble.

(Flashback) It was about seven o’clock, and we were at City Walk and Steve had to go to the bathroom. He left me waiting on the side of Margaritaville (not the side by the trail), and I just kinda stood around and checked things out.

Well, not too far to my right was a crowd of young teenagers (who obviously had been drinking, so in reality they must’ve been in their early twenties). But to me they looked young. They were dressed in bar clothes, and there were four girls and three guys. One gal in particular (who btw had on WAY too much make-up and had on some slinky sequined bra/halter top thingy that seemed like too much for Universal Studios) was pretty blasted. She was singing loudly, and at first I just thought she was singing the Pina Colada song. (“If you like Pina Coladas...”) But then after listening closer, I realized she was actually singing (loudly!) “If you like p*nis alot-ta...”

She mostly kept singing that one line over and over while her friends snickered and giggled. Well, it wasn’t that late, and there were kids and parents with strollers everywhere. I couldn’t believe it. So I walked over there and politely said to her, “Hey! I know you’re having fun and all, but this is a family park. How about you cut out the vulgar singing?” She stopped, checked me out for a second (in my black jogging pants and casual t-shirt) and said, “Who do you think you are, Disney World police?”

Well, one of the guys laughed and said, “Hey, Jen... we’re not in Disney. We’re at Universal Studios, remember?”

So, puzzled and giggly, she said, “Oh! Well, then it’s okay, right?” And she continued to sing.

Well, at this point they’re all laughing and I am SEETHING because they’re ignoring me. And I’m searching this girl’s face to come up with something profound to say that will convince her to cut out her antics. But then I happen to notice that she’s got a huge, slimy booger hanging just inside her left nostril. I saw my opening and was more than happy to take advantage of it. “EEEEWWWW!” I exclaim loudly, which forces her to stop singing once again. “You have a HUGE green booger hanging out of your nose!!” And I point, making sure her companions get a look at it too. She immediately covers up her face with one hand, while trying to open her purse with the other, presumably for a mirror or tissue or something. I can see that my plan is working, so I continue on.

“Oh, gross! It’s a slimy booger!” I exclaim loudly again. I start to do an old-lady version of the John Travolta dance and I sing, “If you’ve got boogers and snot-ta... hanging off of your face!!” And I keep dancing jerkily, while all of her friends stare at me with open mouths.

Well, now I’m in my glory, and out of the corner of my eye I can see other people slowly stopping to watch me, but I don’t care. I’m happy that I am embarrassing this girl. (I will make a great parent someday!) So I’m waving my arms in the air, index fingers pointing to the sky in disco mode, and my big butt is shimmying from side to side, and I sing, “BOOGER fever!!” But then I can’t think of any more words, so I go back to: “If you have boogers and snot-ta...” But then suddenly Steve appears right next to me out of nowhere.

I stopped singing, although one arm was still jutted off to the side and my butt was sticking out to the other side. I glanced at the gang of kids, and the booger girl was completely oblivious. She had her back completely turned away in an attempt to fix her problem, and her friends were totally silent and staring in awe. Steve, who looked like a cartoon character (staring from me, to them, and back to me) decided finally to break that silence. “What on earth are you doing?” He asked me incredulously.

“Um... well...ah... – see that girl over there?” I asked, straightening up and pointing to her. “She was singing about p*nises and I was getting mad and she wouldn’t stop so I pointed out her booger and began dancing and singing about it.” Oh, man. It even sounded crazy to me! I sheepishly looked down at the ground at that point, knowing full well that it sounded ridiculous. Steve continued to stare at all of us, and I swear, not one person even uttered a word. So, I cleared my throat, waggled my finger at the girl (who still wasn’t even looking in my direction), and said, “Let this be a lesson to you, young lady.” (Mind you, I’m only thirty) And then I proceeded to walk away. Steve followed, and I THOUGHT he was puzzled and embarrassed, but then he just started laughing really hard. He just laughed and laughed and at one point he stopped and doubled over he was laughing so hard. (Which at the time I didn’t find funny... I was pretty annoyed with him making a big deal out of this.) He then proceeded to imitate my dancing, saying, “Hey, look everyone! It’s Em’s booger dance!”

“HEY!” I snapped at him. “That was a very serious situation. It was nothing to laugh about. It wasn’t just about the boogers... this place may not have Snow White and Pooh, but it’s no place for p*nises!!”

Now that I am sitting on our bed recounting that “episode”, all I have to say is that I truly, truly apologize to anyone who might have been within earshot of that conversation.

We did walk over and tour the Hard Rock Hotel and the Portofino Bay Hotel. If you have any questions, just holler. Amazingly, I still think that our hotel was the best. The Hard Rock was cool, but seemed a bit boring. The Portofino Bay Hotel was gorgeous, but everything was “faux.” Faux walls, faux paint, faux flowers, etc. Yuck!

The best part about our first day? The Express Pass thingy was priceless. And I also love the little hidden walkway from the hotel to downtown Universal. We’re definitely looking forward to tomorrow.

(Continue down for the rest of the report... I'd love to post pics, but I haven't the faintest clue how to do that. Assistance, anyone?)

 

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Sunday, January 09 2005 (Joe is as hot in person as he is on TV!)

Today we got up (late again) and went to Universal Studios. We stopped at the Starbucks in Citywalk for my much coveted coffee, and headed on over. The crowds in this park were much lighter than the crowds at IOA yesterday. Most of the people were watching the taping of Fear Factor (I have a close up pic of Joe!) and therefore the rides were virtually empty. We walked on pretty much everything. The best??? Definitely the Mummy ride. T2 was great, as was Shrek 4-D. If anyone has any questions, please don’t hesitate to e-mail me. I’ll end things here for US, but my saga definitely continues.

 

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Monday, January 10, 2005 (Remarkable, Riveting Rosie...and the Porn monster strikes again!)

So we woke up this morning, and began to pack our things to leave the Royal Pacific Hotel and transfer to the AKL. Now, has anyone ever had something happen that was only a five-minute incident, but that little incident just ruined the rest of their trip? Well, I did. I’m not going to go into the gory details, but I found out this morning (as I made one last attempt to check my e-mail) that Steve didn’t quit his porn habit. I stumbled upon this “little” character flaw early in our relationship, and we had a big discussion about it a year or so ago. He promised he would stop. I had an inkling that he never did, but denial is a great thing.

Now, he doesn’t do any chatting or online sex or anything like that. He basically just looks at movies and pictures on the internet. I happened to accidentally find this evidence on Monday morning, and I was not happy. Now I understand that sometimes, this is what guys do (MOST guys... I know some of you women out there are lucky enough to have one who is not such a pig. I also know that some women simply had no clue for years that their guys did this. I’m close to setting up a support group.
Say no to porn. How about P.A.W.N. instead? Pornaholics Anonymous – Widows of Neanderthalism? ).

I can handle (and actually be okay with) anything in moderation. THIS is not moderation. So anyway, we were about a half hour left before the car service arriving to take us to AKL and we had a big fight. It was just awful. Things haven’t been so great in the bedroom for us, and it will take a heck of a lot more than fighting (counseling, maybe??) to cure an addiction... especially if the person likes their addiction. (And just think... WE’RE NOT EVEN MARRIED YET!!!!) I was just angry. Angry at him, angry at my luck, and angry that my first real vacation in years had to have this kind of start. My super-fabulous attempt to create a romantic, spark-kindling, vacation actually backfired on me. Backfired so hard that I’m left with smoke in my eyes and dirt on my face. I was livid that he would be such a knuckle-dragger, and even more livid that he put a damper on my magical trip of a lifetime. More on this later.

So FL tours was waiting for us right on time in the front of the hotel. I’m not sure who we had for a driver, but he was helpful and courteous and the car was great. We had a smooth ride to the AKL, and with Steve and I talking minimally, we walked in to the breathtaking lobby. I had never seen the AKL before, and we were both blown away. The Christmas decorations were still up! Our room was ready (the CM originally had us on the second floor, but I politely asked for a higher floor and got one on the 4th). We had to settle for a handicap room, but the only difference that I can see is that the bed is lower and of course there is no tub. The room is so beautiful! The decor is so perfect. So perfect that it’s exactly meant for a romantic couple in love. (??????)

The location of our room was great, too... just far enough from the lobby to be away from the noise, but close enough to only have a small walk to everything. Our room number was 4217. Yes, our room was on the 4th floor, even after I tried to get the coveted 3rd floor. But you know what? I actually really liked being higher up. The animals never get so close that you have a face-to-face view of them, and being on the 4th floor gave us an opportunity to see across the whole savannah. Our room was on the zebra trail, on the Arusha savannah. We immediately saw the pelicans and a few zebra.

By the time we unloaded our bags, it was 11:00 and we were starving, because we didn’t have breakfast. Imagine our surprise (dismay??) to find out that both Boma and Jiko were closed for lunch (which was pretty frustrating for us, but I guess I can understand why they would do that). Only Mara was open, but we didn’t come to WDW to eat tuna sandwiches. The salads weren’t so appetizing, and I REALLY needed a glass of wine. So, we sat down on a bench for a few, made a shaky truce to enjoy the vacation and discuss things in depth when we get back. It took all of my strength not to throw him to the zebras, but I did need a break. What’s better than DTD, some food, a glass of wine and some souvenirs? (Crap... can ANYONE spell “souvenir” the right way the first time without doing spell check? I’m a great speller, but I miss that one every time.) Now, I wasn’t totally okay with that compromise, but I knew that if we tried to fix this problem or hash out the details now, all of my months of planning and excitement would be thrown out the window. How on earth was I supposed to enjoy this whole week when the man I love has been a total jerk?

So we waited about ten minutes for a bus to Downtown Disney. The hotel was virtually empty (and so was the bus stop), and we found the same thing in DTW. We walked around a bit and did some shopping (a photo album, a mug and a couple of Christmas ornaments) and then headed to Fulton’s Crabhouse for lunch. I was thrilled that the sun was shining strong and it was hot. I got a nice tan on my face just from walking around this afternoon. We both ordered the lobster bisque, which was pretty good. I had the crabcake and Steve had the scallops. The wine was great, and the bill came to about $75 with tip. The kindly waitress noticed I had a camera, and she offered to take our picture. Little did she know that Steve and I were barely on speaking terms, so it was a little difficult to pose happily for our pic. But I managed, even though I looked so weepy and pathetic.

Since this was one of our two free days, I told Steve that I wanted to visit some of the other hotels. He went with me (I think he was feeling pretty guilty at this point) and so we visited WL, Grand Floridian, the Poly and the Contemporary. Omigod... I’m so glad we did that. The Christmas decorations were still up in all the hotels except for the Wilderness Lodge. Funny... we both agreed that we liked our resort the best. We came back exhausted and I was content enough to plug in my dataport and read the rest of Zurg and Delswife’s and Allison’s trip reports for the rest of the evening. I pulled out my laptop from my bag, but I couldn’t find my power cord anywhere. I looked and looked through each of our bags, but there was nothing. Then I realized that I had left it plugged into the wall at the Royal Pacific Resort. I was so upset when we left there that I must’ve missed it. This was not good. This is like pulling out a major artery and leaving it somewhere behind. Can you see me getting paler? Must... have...power. Need... power.

So I got on the horn to their lost and found, and let me just take a moment to give a HUGE thanks to Rosie for shipping it out to me. She is having it sent here to the AKL. I am in love with Rosie. But the scary thing is, I am going to be without my computer for a couple of days. I was down to only a few minutes of battery power, and that went fast. No downloading of my pictures to clear my memory card, no typing of my trip report... nothing. Steve had his computer, but he’s a Mac guy and I’m a PC girl. Plus, I don’t really feel too hot about being on his computer right now. We’ve always had our own, and neither one would ever use the other’s unless it was to check e-mail on a very rare occasion. I’ll have to figure something else out. For now, my head is spinning and I just need a good night’s sleep. I had it in my head that tomorrow will be a better day. Boy, was I wrong.

 

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Tuesday, January 11 2005 (A fat girl’s vacation...)

The morning started off as a good one. I woke up at about 7:30, and walked out onto our balcony. We have a great view of the Arusha savannah, and I saw zebras and the caibou thingys right away. The air was cooler and foggy, and it provided a great atmosphere. Then the giraffes came strolling by, and I ran in the room to wake up Steve (since he loves giraffes). We sat outside in peace for a few minutes, and it was one of those awful situations where one minute the world seems to be just fine and peaceful (and you think... “okay... this could get better”) and the next minute you’re dodging bullets and wondering if you’ll walk away alive.

Somehow Steve and I got talking about the “Situation” and he sat in silence while I explained how wrong it was and how awful it made me feel. Finally, when he spoke, it was like the world had gone silent and every living thing hung on his words, “Well, I’m am really so sorry. But I’m finding it harder to be attracted to you, because you’ve gained weight over the past four months. What am I supposed to do? Your bad eating habits and lack of exercise has totally turned me off, and I’ve resorted to the only thing that I can. I promised myself I would never date a fat girl, and you turned into a fat girl.”

(Now mind you, I have actually been overweight for the past eight years or so, but this IS the heaviest I’ve ever been. I’m about 5’5” and I weigh 179. I can go on and on about how and why that happened, but it doesn’t matter at this point.) So with those words hanging in the air, I began sobbing. It wasn’t that neat, prim little sniffle kind of crying. My nose was running, I was hiccupping and snorting and wailing. Oh, it was so not pretty. I was so sure that everyone else on their balconies and even the animals were listening to this humiliating conversation. Steve did feel badly that I was so upset, and he tried to explain to me that in order to keep the attraction between two people, each one has a “responsibility” to keep themselves healthy and attractive, and that I must be able to understand that I don’t look as good as I used to.

I left him on the balcony and went inside and cried. I was so embarrassed. I felt awful that it didn’t matter how smart I was, or how big of a heart I had or even how witty or funny I was. Because I am not a size 4 and because I don’t look like a supermodel, I have now officially been recognized by the man I love as totally unworthy. It was heartbreaking. He and I are such good friends, and although I knew in my heart what he was saying was true, it just felt wrong. He should love me and find me attractive no matter what. At least that’s what I believed.

So he came in, and I was angry. “What happens when I turn old and gray?” I asked him. “What would happen if I got cancer, and lost my hair or my breasts? What would you do then? How could you be so cold and cruel?” I accused him. God... I had totally turned this into a soap opera.

So I told him that I didn’t want to be with him any more. I had enough. I just wanted to be by myself. He and I might be best friends, but with friends like that, who needed enemies? I was angry and humiliated and so very, very sad. Here is was late morning and we were on day 2 at AKL, with the schedule that day for eight hours at Magic Kingdom. Instead my nose and eyes were red from crying, and Steve was sitting on the couch not knowing what to say. He told me that he didn’t want to break up with me... he just wanted me to work on being more attractive and taking better care of myself. It was one of those awful situations where I was crying so hard from all of the emotions I was feeling, and he sat with me to comfort me and hold me.

I wanted to lash out and tell him how horrid he was, but instead I found myself negotiating with him. Yes, I would begin to eat healthier and work out as soon as we got home, if he swore not to look at pornography on the net. We both love each other, but he said he was feeling as if I took our relationship for granted. We ended our horrible, horrible fight with me reluctantly forgiving him. I don’t know if things were okay between us... I seriously doubt it. But at least we were holding each other and he was profusely telling me that he loved me. I don’t know if that was good or bad. Maybe some wine will help. Or at least a couple of Advil and some Pepto Bismol. My stomach was in knots.

So we managed to get showered and dressed to salvage what was left of our day. We arrived at MK around 1:00pm, and the first thing we did was the Swiss Family Robinson treehouse. I was still a bit weepy as we walked through it, but luckily the park was virtually empty and I didn’t have people in my face. We next walked to the Haunted Mansion, where I was happy to pretend that I was feeling a little bit better. Who was he to ruin MY vacation anyway? Oh, yeah... he’s the stupid schmuck that I live with. So I tried to show off some of my Disboard knowledge by pointing out the tombstone lady whose eyes open and close. But there wasn’t anyone in line, so there really wasn’t time to stand there and watch to see if she did it. So everyone thought I was full of smoke. We did end up getting stuck in the cemetery at the end of the ride, with some ghostly voice apologizing for the delay. And on the way out, I found the “ring” in the cement that I’ve read so much about. But of course, no one believed me about that one, either. So much for me ever having a career as a Cast Member.

We did lunch at the Columbia Harbor House. I had the half tuna with clam chowder, and Steve had a fried fish and chips thing. It was pretty good – filling and tasty and fairly inexpensive. It was an interesting lunch because there was a large family who was obviously from another country (Middle Eastern?) eating at the table next to us. There were four adults, four teenagers and two smaller children. The teenagers were complaining about the food, and they weren’t eating it. One of the female adults also pushed her food away and complained loudly, “Only in this country. This country is only fast food. Everything is fast food. This is disgusting!” The teenagers and children all murmured their agreement. Then one of the men (Father? Uncle?) pushed his food away and said, “This food is ****! I cannot believe that I paid for this. What is this?” Now, I do agree with him that this is a fast food nation, but they were simply being loud and obnoxious. So just as they were at the point where they looked ready to throw the food on the floor, a wonderful man in jeans, t-shirt and a cowboy hat (with Disney pins on it!) saunters by and says to the family, “Well, you all decided to eat at one of the less expensive restaurants, which obviously is going to have cheaper food. If you want the good stuff, you’re going to have to dish out the dough. Now, Disney has some wonderful restaurants with gourmet food... here... you can have my map so that you’ll know where they are.” Then he handed the silent father his map, tipped his hat to the whole gang and walked away. I felt like clapping or at least getting his autograph.

Disney’s Philharmonic was fabulous! I absolutely loved it. My favorite thing about the 3-D movies is watching the children reaching up to touch the images. It gets me smiling every time. It was a loooong time since I saw Snow White’s Adventures, and I had it in my head that it was going to be something very, very scary. One kid actually came off the ride asleep, which is kind of how I felt about that ride. Space Mountain was kind of a surprise. I must be getting old or something, because I found it to be much more jarring and jerky than I remember it. I actually had a bit of a headache when I got off of it. Steve, who is a total “poultry poop” when it comes to roller coasters, came off of that one saying, “Yeah! That was awesome. I thought it was going to be much worse. Let’s do it again!” (At that point, I promised myself that the next time he falls asleep, I will slowly creep over...) The Astro Orbiter was closed, as was the Timekeeper. Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin was so fun that we did it twice in a row.

Let me also just say for the record that I had completely planned on going into Stitch’s Great Escape with an open mind. I had read all about it on the Disboards, but I pretty much like every ride that I go on. So I was fully prepared to enjoy this ride despite what the peanut gallery said. Well, the reality is, this ride IS crap. What a waste of a great venue! And it wasn’t that I was upset about Stitch burping and spitting. That I could handle. What I couldn’t handle was the fact that we went into this really cool room with great seating, and we were even forced to pull down the shoulder restraints. Imagine my utter disappointment when I discovered that there wasn’t actually going to be a ride. No simulations, no movement, nothing. Nada. The shoulder restraints were simply so that they could do the effect of Stitch hopping from one seat to another. Blech... yuck. That one was a true bust for me.

One thing about this time of the year is that it gets dark fairly early. I liked that, but we got a late start as it was, and we certainly didn’t have time to do everything in the park since they close so early this time of the year. But, we made sure to the biggest attractions, and the rides that we both had our eye on. As dusk was settling in, we decided to ride the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. We both agreed it was great. Again, the park was virtually empty, and every single ride we were able to walk right on. Then after all was said and done, we parked ourselves in a great spot in front of the castle to view Wishes. It was honestly one of the most magical things I have ever seen. Steve must have thought so, too, because he hugged me a couple of times and at the end he apologized to me profusely and told me he loved me. He then finished the whole thing with a kiss just as the grand finally exploded with sound and color in the air above us. If we were any other couple, we would have looked magically happy. Tink did indeed fly around us sprinkling pixie dust everywhere. But we were still a couple who has some definite issues, and they don’t go away simply because Magic Kingdom has some beautiful fireworks. They sure do make things feel a little better, though. I truly wanted things to be okay with Steve and me, but my head was still saying no while my heart was saying yes. I kissed him back, and told him that we’d take it one day at a time. Thanks, Tink. I don’t know whether to hug you or shove you in a drawer.

 

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Wednesday, January 12 2005 (Jambo! It’s all about Boma, Boombas and Beverly)

Again we woke up late, and I didn’t sleep well. I had a dream that my employer fired me for being fat. (sigh) I got in the shower before Steve, and although I had two huge suitcases full of clothes, I couldn’t find anything to wear. I was so much more self-conscious about how I looked now. Since my power cord hadn’t arrived yet, I had to delete some pictures to make some room on my memory card. Most of the fifteen or so pics that I deleted were of me. I am simply overweight, and horribly un-photogenic. I truly did look awful. So instead of thinking of Epcot and the fun-filled day ahead of us, I couldn’t keep my mind off how jiggly my thighs were. Could I ever get rid of the cellulite that plagued every inch of me? Is it possible to have cellulite in your chin? I had been walking about five miles a day for the past four days... shouldn’t that have counted for something? But no... I looked as bloated as I did the week before. I sighed, put on a pair of running pants (no, I don’t run in them) and a shirt that I hoped looked better than it felt. I hate the fact that I now can’t think of anything but my fatness.

Now, we decided to go to Boma for breakfast, so it was obvious that my diet wasn’t going to start during this trip. The food was fantastic. My favorite thing was something called the sausage/biscuit something-or-other. (For those of you familiar with Boma, it’s on the right in the little station where you first enter the buffet area.) The Quinoa (which I found out is pronounced Keen-wa) was also fantastic. The French toast was also great, and Steve said that the waffles were the best he ever had. We also loved the juice! BTW, Desmond is a little cutie.

So we headed over to Epcot via the buses, and again the hotel and bus station were empty. Of course, it was almost noon by the time we sat down on the bus bench, so we figured everyone was at the parks. (I know... I’m still thinking that some of you are horrified that we’re getting a late start. But it feels so good to not have to rush in the morning.) Steve noticed that I was a little quiet over breakfast, so on the bus (we were the only ones) he asked me what I was thinking. I told him that I was haunted by his words, which were replaying over and over in my head, “I promised myself I would never date a fat girl.” Ugh. That line will hurt even months from now. He didn’t say anything but he hugged me hard. For a while after that he walked on some pretty thin eggshells. However, I am an observant girl. I saw that he was really trying TOO hard not to check out the hottie blonde that walked past us who had huge (and probably fake) boombas. (sigh)

We walked through the gates of Epcot to find that the park was empty as well. How wonderful it’s been that the hotels and parks were empty! It was like having the place all to ourselves. We were able to walk right on to everything and order any drink or snack without waiting in line. We spent far too much time in Future World. We fell in love with Mission Space. But we both were surprised at how mild of a ride it was. We both figured that it was much more violent of a ride when it first opened (weren’t there reports of even the astronauts getting ill?) and obviously they dumbed it down. It was a fabulous attraction, and we did it three times. But we wanted it to be “more.” More sensation, more scariness, more g-forces. But all in all, we were very pleased.

Ice Station Cool (do I have that right??) was a lot of fun. Since I was still feeling a little crabby with Steve, I decided that a nice, innocent “Beverly deception” was in order. So we walked in, and I pretended to be a little unsure of things. I actually had never been to Ice Station Cool before, but I learned all about it from my favorite Disboarders. I sampled the first one on the right (which was the ginger ale) looked at Steve, and shrugged. Then I poured a bit of Beverly in my cup, and I was prepared for it to be bad. I took a sip, pretended that it tasted great (which was REALLY hard to do!) and said, “Wow, Steve! You gotta try this one. It’s awesome!” Then I gulped the rest of it. I have to say, I have never done a worse shot of a beverage in all my life.

But ahh... the results were so worth it. Steve innocently poured a half a cup of Beverly, and took a large swig of it. The look on his face was absolutely priceless. He immediately spit it out, and dumped the rest, all while staring at me in awe. “You like this crap?” He asked, incredulously.

“Oh, yeah! It’s great!” I smiled as he continued to cough and sputter. Beverly, I love you! Steve was so disgustingly animated, that all eyes were on him. I received much laughter from the women around me.

So we tasted all of the flavors, and oddly enough my favorite was the Thailand Lychee Mello. I tried it before Steve did, and he watched me very skeptically as I exclaimed how good it was. No way was he going to fall for that one again. But after watching me gulp a third cup, he must have decided I was telling the truth. He poured some in his cup, again took a large swig, and swallowed. He turned a little green, and loud enough for everyone to hear, he exclaimed, “Ewww! Yuck! That crap tastes like nursing home!”

I was horrified. I looked around, praying that I wouldn’t see any senior citizens. A few people near us started snickering, and Steve decided to play for the audience. “And if this Thai Mello crap taste like nursing home, then Beverly tastes like the multi-layer, inner core of a nicely soaked Depends.”

“STEPHEN!” I reprimanded. I could feel my cheeks getting hot, and I could tell that the audience around us, while amused, was a bit uncomfortable. I grabbed his arm and apologized to the crowd. “He’s one of those special people who is currently seeking psychiatric help and is overdue for his medication.” I urged him out the door, but he insisted that I document this moment with a photo of him expressing his feelings about Beverly.

I think we were done with Ice Station Cool.

The entire Wonders of Life area was closed down. We were bummed that we couldn’t do Body Wars. And we also saw the sign for the new Soarin’. (I really wished that we could have seen that one.) Neither of us are big fans of Ellen, so we didn’t do the Universe of Energy. Test Track was much more fun that we thought it would be. And again, we walked right on without waiting, so we did that one twice. Honey I Shrunk the Audience was wonderful, and again, the kids in the audience were great. The Living Seas was probably one of the most interesting areas of this park... so much of it fascinated me.

By the time it was about 4:00, I finally convinced Steve that we needed to get over to the World Showcase. I was a little disappointed because there wasn’t much going on... it was pretty much dead. I found the kiosk/stands which contain food in each land to be disappointing. I would’ve really liked to have sampled different foods from each region, and I’m not much of a “sweets” gal so the baklava and crepes didn’t really interest me. We did stop by the wine kiosk in France, and I had an okay glass of Merlot. Steve had a Mimosa. We sat at a table and people watch, and not only did I see some bad shoes, but also plenty of bad outfits. I almost began to take pictures, but what would I do with them? We saw several children (boys, about 6-8 years old) with Mohawks. This really surprised us. The sides were shaved, and the middle stripe was sticking up. Their parents were totally okay with this??? We also saw some really bad choices in children’s clothing. What is wrong with parents? We saw a girl, about 7 years old, dressed like she was going to a bar. She had on a mini skirt (which is SO appropriate for roller coasters, I’m sure) platform boots with a heel that you KNOW would be hurting the poor thing later.

But most of all, I just kept seeing people’s bodies. There are a lot of overweight people at Disney, and I kept looking at them all thinking, “She has a great smile... he looks like he’s very nice. That woman looks like a wonderful mother.” It was so easy to see the positives in all of the overweight people I picked out. How did I compare? Did I look nice, too? Or did I simply look fat? What is everyone’s first impression of me? Do people at work think of me as “the fat girl?” And then I saw a group of young people (and heard that they were speaking another language) and they were dressed impeccably. The women had on tailored pants and cashmere sweaters with high heeled boots, and the men were dressed as if they were going to church. Very interesting. I wonder how it totally went over their heads that WDW is a jeans and tennies kind of place. They were interesting to watch because they looked as if they were very wealthy. And they also were Hollywood gorgeous. I also looked at those women and thought, “I couldn’t pull that one off if I wanted to.” I slightly look over and Steve is watching the girls, too. My god... is it just simple curiosity, or do I have something to worry about? And who can I pay or bribe up in the heavens to help me to wake up one morning thin and beautiful? Yeah, yeah, beauty comes from within. But if it’s buried under layers of fat, it’s not going to be easy to spot.

BTW, did you know that the Swahili word for hello is “jambo?” It actually means welcome, as in “well-come.” But it was just too fun of a word not to use all the time. The way this word became a part of our language started when we were walking by Canada, and some mom-on-speed came zipping by in a double stroller and almost knocked me over just as Steve and I were discussing the meaning of Jambo. She hit the back of my ankle and her bag, which was attached to the side of her stroller, swung around and hit me in the ***. “Whoa... Hello!” I said to her loudly. Frowning, she turned around and I then waved to her, smiled and said, “Jambo!” From that point on, we used that word as if it were going out of style, mostly to indicate in secret that something was unpleasantly shocking. Were you the dad spanking his already screaming kid in Morocco? Then you heard us say, “Jambo!” What about those teenagers that had spikes through their eyebrows and dressed as if they were going to a slutty Halloween party? Jambo!

We continued on through the World Showcase. There was one human sculpture in Italy. Boy... it was almost creepy! She was very, very good. I managed to get a great photo of her. We made our way around, and ended back at the beginning again. We decided to do dinner at Coral Reef, which was perfect. I had the Tilapia Oscar, and Steve had the Mahi Mahi. Both were excellent. The wine was great, too. We both also had soup (I had the chowder and Steve had the lobster bisque) and so our bill was over $80. I completely forgot all about Illuminations, and so we managed to catch only glimpses of the fireworks as we walked out of the park. All in all, it turned out to be a much better day than I thought it would be.

 

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Thursday, January 13 2005 (From peaceful savannah to... the crabbiest place on earth?)

Today was our “free day” and so Steve decided that he wanted to drive down to the Kennedy Space Center at Cape Canaveral. I was a little apprehensive about that, because after today we only have two more days, and we still had MGM Studios and Animal Kingdom to do. AND it was supposed to rain all weekend. I was beginning to panic, thinking I should change our schedule around. But Steve was adamant... he loves space exploration and was not going to pass up this opportunity. Personally, I think he's from outer space, but that's a discussion for another time. :space:

We had a leisurely breakfast at Boma again, and this time we tried the press pot Kenyan coffee which we both enjoyed. After that, we called the Alamo rental at the Disney Transportation Center (by the AAA and gas station on MK property), and they were so helpful. We got a great rate for a mid-size, and they offered to send out their shuttle to pick us up. The driver was super... he made sure to give us perfect directions for both there and back. We had a great car, and the ride there was very smooth – no problems. I won’t go into too much detail, but the space center was great. Again, we didn’t end up arriving until about 1:30, so it didn’t leave us with a full day to do everything. We did the bus tour and caught the 3-D Int’l Space Station movie, which was fantastic. And the rocket garden? Too cool.

We headed home around 6:15 and just made it back in time to return the car and get an Alamo shuttle ride back to AKL. It was a great way to rent a car – we were very pleased and would recommend it to anyone.

Anywhoo... I don’t know what happened, or even HOW it happened, but when we walked back into the hotel lobby, it was like a different place. Jambo! The Christmas decorations were gone (but I got beautiful pics of the tree before they took it away) and the lobby was PACKED! Who were all these people? Where did they all come from? I even asked one of the cast members, and she said that there was a big builders’ convention in town, a cheerleading competition, and some medical group was holding a meeting in Disney as well. It was a little overwhelming, because for the past three days, we basically had the place to ourselves to explore and appreciate. When we first arrived, the AKL seemed an intimate, gorgeous gateway into the details of Africa. We found hidden nooks, we enjoyed the bonfires, we chatted with cast members who were happy to have us to talk to, and we even appreciated the quiet, relaxing atmosphere. Now it was just a big, noisy, fast-paced hotel with hoards of lost luggage, screaming babies and frazzled mothers. Steve and I even overheard a conversation between two women that went like this:

Woman # 1: “WHAT? He’s not with you? Then where is he?”
Woman # 2: “Relax. He’s with Tommy.”
Woman # 1: “Tommy? Tommy’s right over there. See? He’s not with him. Do you see him? I don’t!!”
Woman # 2: “Well... I swear, he was just there. I mean, where could he go? He’s only 2!”

The women spent the next ten minutes getting the entire hotel in an uproar trying to look for the little boy. They found him behind the double doors to the right of the check in desk that had the ATM and mail slot.

So after we went up to our room to freshen up and relax, Steve and I decided we were hungry, and that it would be a great time to check out Jiko. We weren’t really dressed for it, but who cared? Was Disney going to turn us away? I think they only do that at Victoria and Albert’s. So we walked downstairs only to be greeted by a huge mob of people. Crap... we haven’t had to make a PS all week. After asking, the wait turned out to be just over an hour. By this time it was quarter to nine. “But don’t you close at 10:00?” I asked impatiently. The nice gal nodded, but assured us they wouldn’t rush us out of there if we got in before that.

We walked up to the bar (Victoria Falls, is it?) with our precious beeper in hand. I ordered a great glass of the Brampton chardonnay. Steve had the Casa (Moroccan) beer. We sat in the chairs, and people watched once again. It amazed us both how many people were there. And it seemed as if every other one had lost a child. How were they going to manage the parks if the parents couldn’t keep an eye on their children in the hotel? We did actually see a few “kid leashes.” I cannot even comment on that one. I’m sure parents appreciated it, but it just looked awful. One dad was even dragging his son by the leash who refused to walk. Yikes.

Jiko was great. We got in at about 9:40, and we were very well taken care of. Steve had the scallops, and I had the monkfish. The waiter said it had the taste and texture of lobster, but really it was more like tilapia or whitefish. The fennel bread with that butter they serve was the best thing I have ever had. We also had the calamata olive bread. The wine (again, Brampton) was superb, and we came away from that meal very happy. But the bill for the two of us was over $100 with tip.

All in all a pretty good day. I still feel guilty every time I eat. I’m going to have to start planning for my diet and exercise routine for when we return.

 

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Friday, January 14 2005 (Rain, rain, go away...Fanstasmic really made our day!)

Today was MGM day. We woke up to a very disappointing pouring rain, so we waited until it lightened up a bit before getting on our way. We didn’t have ponchos, and we didn’t really feel like buying them. But we both had warm zippered hoodies that we wore over our t-shirts.

Yesterday, when we ate breakfast at Boma, our fabulous waiter (thanks, John!) gave us a great tip about the Fantasmic show. He recommended that we reserve PS’s at one of the restaurants which would also guarantee us a seat at Fantasmic. So on our way out this morning, we stopped at the counter and reserved dinner at Mama Melrose’s.

When we went outside to wait for the bus, I was just shocked to see two things: 1) How cold it was!!! and 2) How many people were there waiting for the bus to MGM!!!

We thought that the rain would’ve held people off, but as soon as we made our way to the MGM entrance, our bubbles were quickly burst. Vinyl poncho’d people were everywhere. It was sprinkling, and it only rained hard a couple of times (luckily, always when we were indoors). Since we hadn’t eaten yet, we decided to check out the Sci-Fi Drive-in Movie Theater. Let me just tell you that Steve LOVED this place. My apologies to the couple who sat in front of us in our car. Steve is such a cheesy-sci-fi movie buff that he could name every movie just as it came on the screen. Now, this should have turned me off in some form or fashion. But you know the look on a child’s face when they see a character or a neat Disney thing for the first time? Well, that was the look that Steve had. We very much enjoyed our meal. He had the catfish sandwich, and I had the corn chowder and BBQ chicken sandwich. Steve did end up getting a sundae at the end of his meal, and I had one tiny bite. It was fabulous! But, I was a good girl and stayed away from desert. Our waitress was great, too.

Steve, again being the cute nerd that he is, also wanted to do the Star Tours right away. Most of the kids on the ride very much enjoyed it, and I thought it was pretty cool, but he was disappointed. We thought it would be “more” but sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Moving on.

We both loved the Muppet 3-D movie (I am such a sucker for the 3-D’s) and the Great Movie Ride was pretty cool as well. Since we got to the park so late (again) we simply didn’t have time to see much. I really wanted to see the Voyage of the Little Mermaid, but we didn’t have the time. We HAD to go do the Tower of Terror and the Aerosmith Rockin’ Rolling Coaster. I LOVE the TOT, and even Steve was impressed by it. The hotel grounds are the neatest thing! And I am fascinated by the look of the library room. But we did a pretty fierce freefall several times, and when it was all over, Steve looked a little green. (I generously decided not to suggest a second ride.) But oddly enough, he loved the Aerosmith ride. Me? Not so much. We waited in line for about 20 minutes, which was the longest we waited for anything since we arrived (well, not counting our wait for dinner at Jiko). And the crowds were just not something I was used to. It was still raining outside, so everyone smelled a little ripe and musty. And I have just a problem feeling comfortable whenever WDW “herds” us into or out of something. The Aerosmith ride consisted of a lot of herding before we got on, so by the time I got on it I was feeling a bit ill anyway. I was SO not prepared for how “jerky” that ride was. My head was getting banged around so hard that at one point I had a real concern for my brain. It felt like I was a rattle. I was pretty grateful when that ride was over. Which is unusual, because typically I am a roller coaster fan.

By the way... wasn’t there a thread of the most bizarre or funniest things that we’re seen and heard at WDW? We were standing in front of the big Mickey Sorcerer Hat, taking a breather (while Steve consulted our map), and this family of four happened to be walking slowly towards us and then paused about five feet away. (Mother, Father, small daughter and a toddler in stroller.) The two adults were having what looked to be a serious conversation, and I happened to catch part of it. It went something like this:

Father: “Well, I don’t care what you say, but if Mommy Dearest didn’t like wire hangers, she shouldn’t have had them in the house. I mean, c’mon... Christina obviously didn’t buy them herself.”

Mother: “Yes, but just because something is there, doesn’t mean you use it for whatever you want. I mean, just because toilet paper is available in the house, doesn’t mean you should be dusting the furniture with it.”

Father: “That doesn’t make any sense. Toilet paper is a paper product with potentially a hundred ways to use it. But what else would you have wire hangers for if it wasn’t to hang clothes on?”

Steve didn’t hear them (he was in his own little world) and the couple never once glanced in my direction, even though I was staring as we walked away from them. But what was even more bizarre was Steve’s reaction when I re-told their conversation to him. He simply shrugged, and said, “Who knows? Who cares? Maybe the father locked their keys in the car or something.” (???) Had I suddenly traveled to another dimension? Had everyone turned into an alien???

It was time to be at Mama Melrose’s for our PS. We got in fairly quickly, because it was still a bit early for dinner (4:30). Our waiter was fabulous, and because we reserved the Fantasmic package, we received a pizza appetizer, a salad, a main course and a desert for $28 per person. We had the four cheese pizza, I had a white-sauce pasta with shrimp, and Steve had the Eggplant Napoleon. My pasta was okay... it was very heavy and I only really ate the shrimp. It contained peas and artichokes, which weren’t the best combination, IMHO. Steve seemed to like his eggplant, though. I was debating about the desert thing. I’ve never been a big desert girl (I’m a salty-snack girl), and I didn’t want it to be uncomfortable with Steve when things have been going fairly well the past two days (you know... “desert”... the forbidden “D” word). But I decided... what the hell – just go for it. I ordered the Tiramisu, which was one of the best I’ve ever had. Steve told the waiter that he was too full and wasn’t interested in the desert, but he brought him out some spumoni anyway. What a great waiter! He set it down in front of Steve “just in case.” Well, would you believe that he ate the whole thing? I asked him what it tasted like, and he just shrugged and looked at me. “I don’t know... it’s just cold.” Now, Steve has been growing a substantial beer gut, but he’s still a fairly thin guy. It irked me that he has been eating as much as he has, (did I mention all of the ice cream and cotton candy he devoured so far on this vacation?) and I was feeling sorry for myself. Our bill was almost $85 (we had wine and beer) and I tipped our waiter nicely. Enough with the fat obsession for now.

One disturbing thing we saw during dinner was a family of five who was at a booth across from us. They were obviously from another country, because they were speaking a language I didn’t recognize (Greek, maybe?). They were a beautiful family... a young mother and father and three little girls, ages approximately 7,5 and 3. And almost the entire time they were in the booth, the father had his had down one of the girl’s pants. Not the front (I would’ve called the cops if that were the case) but he had his hand down the back of her pants, in her underwear, cupping her bum. I noticed it first, and told Steve to turn around and look. He couldn’t believe it. It may have been totally innocent, and it may be because they are from a different culture, but it was definitely creepy. It was very unsettling to have in my view as I ate. And it wasn’t just a slight, momentary incident. The father would remove and “reinsert” his hand periodically. The girls seemed as if they adored their father, but if I were his wife, I’d have a real problem with that. Steve suggested we tell someone, but who? Our waiter? His specialty was parmesan, not pedophile. Let’s just hope that situation turned out to be nothing.

So we had our special blue pass to Fantasmic, which was a joke. Even for as busy as the park was, there was plenty of seating. There was no “special entrance” or “special seating.” Steve insisted on sitting up front, and I wanted to sit farther back. I let him have his way, because it wasn’t that big of a deal to me. It was cold out, and it was even was still a little misty from the rain that rolled through. When the show started, we were in awe. But when the water screens came up, we got soaked. It was very windy and the water was completely blowing our way. Many parents who were sitting down in front with us moved their way to the top only after a few minutes, and often Steve had to take off his glasses to wipe them off. I just sat back and smiled. Sometimes, a girl just has to take a little bit of silent pleasure in knowing that she was right. But soon we forgot our discomfort when Mickey came out to do his thing. I won’t ruin this for anyone who hasn’t seen it, but it was one of the coolest things we ever saw. Now, I know that some of you Disers aren’t so thrilled with the story line and sequence of events, but it really didn’t matter. It was just a bunch of cool stuff to look at. The crowd was fantastic, and the kids were all laughing and screaming with pleasure. All of the glowing and lighted toys, mugs and headwear made it even more magical. It was one of those times where I wish I had a son or daughter. But that’s a whole other story, probably meant for a counselor versus the Disboard community. Lol

And when it was all over, we all pretended to be cattle and were herded out super-slowly to the exit area of the park. God, let me just say that I hated that stupid shuffle up to the top (no special exit, either, for those of us who had the dinner package). We did the stupid bovine/diarrhea shuffle all the way to the front of the park, which literally took about four years. The bus area was packed once again, and we had to stand in order to get home. The buses were all gridlocked at the entrance to our hotel, and Steve and I just sighed. Where were the good ol’ days (like Tuesday?) where we had the bus to ourselves and not a soul was in sight? Oh, well... that’s nothing compared to what we would encounter the next day.

 

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Saturday, January 15 2005 (Lions and Tigers and Rafiki, oh my!)

Again we woke up to thick clouds and the threat of rain. Steve and I wanted to make the most of our last day, so last night we set a wake-up call to get us up at 6:30 so that we could be at the park by 9:00 when it opened. We were going to Animal Kingdom! But guess what happened when Mickey and Stitch called to wake us up? Yep, you guessed it. We hung up on them. La-la-la... do-de-do... back into dreamland. I fell instantly asleep again, and when I woke up next, Steve was sleepily shaking me awake. And of course, it was after nine. We showered, dressed warmly and decided to just get coffee and a muffin at the park. So we headed down to the bus stop, and I swear to you, I was convinced that because it was raining, and because it wasn’t the Magic Kingdom or Epcot, that this park wasn’t going to be busy. BOY was I wrong! The bus station for Animal Kingdom was jam packed with people. And it was 10:30, which I thought was a late start. We all herded onto the bus and again, Steve and I had to stand. The bus driver was trying to cram on as many people as he could, including two elderly with wheelchairs.

Now, luckily everyone was in good enough spirits to shift around and make room so that the seniors could have a seat. But when people continued to flood onto the bus, finally one guy yelled up to the driver, “Hello? (Jambo?) I think that’s all we can handle. We can barely breathe back here.” So the driver announces that the rest have to wait for the other bus, but one man on our bus starts to get upset. “Wait! Not yet! A few more! The rest of my family is out there.” (We all groan of course.) The driver asks how many, and the man thinks for a moment and replies, “There are six of them out there.” (We can all see his wife and kids looking frantic as they peer into the bus window.) The bus driver again apologizes, but insists that there isn’t room for any more. The man gets indigent and declares, “Well, I got on this bus, and we are not waiting for the next one! We’re getting on this one!” So then another guy from the back yells loudly in a gruff voice, “Hey, pal. You’re holding us up! They’re not going to fit, and none of us are going to get off so that you’re family gets on. So you either go alone without them, or you get off. But either way, I don’t think they’re going to die waiting fifteen more minutes for the next bus.” The father looked around and realized we were all staring at him, nodding our heads in agreement. Trying to maintain as much dignity as he could, he squeezed his way through everyone and got off of the bus without saying another word. We all cheered (which I’m sure he could hear from outside.) What I want to know is, what kind of father who has a wife and five kids jumps onto the bus first leaving them behind to fend for themselves?

We decided that the first thing we were going to do was the Kilimanjaro Safari. We walked through the entrance gates, and I almost freaked. There were SO many people!! I literally was uncomfortable. People were jabbing me, bumping into me, and breathing on me. There wasn’t even room to walk without whacking a body part into someone’s bum or torso. And it seemed that everyone had the same idea we had. We waited in line for the safari for about 25 minutes, and were relieved when we finally got on the jeep. Animal Kingdom is an absolutely beautiful park. I was in awe. We saw a ton of animals on our journey, and from what the driver said, it was one of those rare occasions where every animal was out and about. (She said the cool weather was a stimulant and kept them active.) So, do you think that she gave us any opportunity to take pictures? Nope. I mean, I know that they say at the beginning that the jeep doesn’t stop for pictures. But our driver was a maniac! Why couldn’t they simply make it a part of the ride that at certain times, they’ll pause for pictures? I’m not saying hang out and have a picnic, but at least let me get a shot off. Luckily I have a fast, new digital camera and managed to get a few shots in. But 95% of the time that I was trying to snap a pic, she had her foot on the gas and we were jostling around. There were some neat views, too. A male lion was perched majestically on a big rock. The cheetahs were out and fairly close. We saw the colorful rainbow monkeys, we saw the baby elephants... we saw everything! Well, we glanced at everything. Steve said that WDW probably doesn’t want to take a money-making shot that would be advertising worthy. I just think they don’t know how much we’d appreciate four more seconds at each animal area. But I digress.

We then did the forest exploration trail, which was so very cool but this particular trail was so full of people that all you could do was shuffle stupidly and hope that you caught a glimpse of something. I had to get out of there... it was my first closest sensation to claustrophobia.

We also did the train ride to Rafiki’s Planet Watch, and the petting zoo (Affection Section... it even sounds adorable!) was so wonderful. We also saw the talking trash can, and overheard many kids telling their parents that the talking trash can was the best thing they saw all week. (Poor parents – money well spent!) My all time favorite part of this park was the Maharajah Jungle Trek. All I can say is WOW! Those are some gigantic bats. Fruit my foot! One of those guys would go for my neck in a second... I just know it. The tigers were playing with each other and running around. I got some great shots of them! There were six of them, and the CM said that they were all females. Steve and I stood there watching them for about a half hour. The faux Asian ruins were so beautiful and authentic looking, and the whole atmosphere was very exotic. The gorillas were awesome as well.

We went over to the Tree of Life and did “It’s Tough to Be a Bug!” which was so very, very cool. The children in the audience were laughing and yelling and yelping, which just added to the fun. I definitely jumped a few times, and the creepy crawly ending even startled Steve into a hearty laugh. Great attraction!

We then headed over to Dinosaur land, where we jumped on Primeval Whirl. I have to admit that for some reason, this ride had me more nervous than anything. I suppose because it reminded me of a two-bit carnival ride, which always seemed unsafe to me. But boy, was it fun! Steve laughed the whole time, and I was surprised at how brave he was.

Onto “Dinosaur!” Ooohhh.. that was the best! Steve thought it was okay, and nothing special. Maybe there IS something wrong with that guy. I thought it was great, and by that time of the day, most of the people had already headed home and the crowds were much lighter. It was also sprinkling, which I’m sure helped with crowd control. We decided to ride Dinosaur and Primeval Whirl again, but soon after that it began to rain and the wind began to howl. It was time to go.

I was smart enough to reserve a PS for Boma tonight at 7:00. When we got back to the hotel room, we rested for a bit and decided to have a drink in the sunset room. There was a CM there telling a neat African story to children, and Steve and I sipped our drinks and nonchalantly listened from the side. When it was time for our PS, we headed down to a very, very crowded Boma. I almost felt badly for “cutting” in front of everyone, but we were starving. We were seated fairly quickly, and let me just say that Boma was the best of all the meals we had on this vacation. The different African dishes and spices were fabulous. I put just a tiny spoonful of almost everything – just enough to take a bite of it all. Let me tell you that the carrot/ginger soup, the falafel (try it with the Boma Mustard and hot sauce!) the ribs were soooooo good! I debated about desert once again, and decided to have a bit of coconut tiramisu. I had a few bites, and it was out of this world. But I personally like to end my meal with something salty and/or spicy, so I went back for one more piece of falafel with mustard. Steve had the seafood stew, a plate of salad, a plate full of hot foods, and a big plate of various deserts. I didn’t overindulge, because I basically just had a one small taste of everything. There honestly wasn’t one item that I didn’t think was great. But by the time I took my last sip of wine and was going to sigh contentedly, Steve looked a little ill.

We paid and tipped our server well (when she found out that Steve was a vegetarian, she brought us a bowl of the butternut squash soup from Jiko) and then went up to our room. The plan was that we were going to sit outside by the bonfire, but Steve really needed to get up to the room. He plopped down on the bed, undid his pants, and then groaned. “Can you please take off my shoes for me?” He asked. “I can’t feel my legs, and if I bend over, it’s all going to come up.” I stared at him, horrified. And I’m the one being chastised for being fat???? I’m fat because I have a sit-down job and I don’t exercise much. But by no means am I a “gorger.” I untied his shoes, made some coffee, and turned on my laptop as I watched Steve pass out from food overload.

And so we spend our final night at the AKL, not in a romantic embrace, not arguing in a continuation of our quarrel, not sitting on the balcony watching the animals. Nope. Right now Steve is asleep, snoring and digesting loudly, and I’m slowly packing up our souvenirs. Until tomorrow...

 

[mega13]

Sunday, January 16 2005 (There’s no place like home...except for Antarctica!)

Well, I didn’t have a great night’s sleep. I was sad that today we were going home, and that this was the end of our vacation. It was wonderful, but it also could’ve been so much more. The moral of the story? A vacation isn’t always about where you are or how much time off you have, or how much money you spend. It’s about your state of mind, and it’s about having peace with who you are and who you are with. I didn’t really have that. I was at peace with WHERE I was, but that doesn’t always get the job done.

So I woke up at about 6:30, and watched the 90210 cast movie marathon on Lifetime. What is with WDW and their cable choices? I understand that they expect/want you to be at the parks. But come on... no Turner channels, no Warner channels, no cable channels... nothing but news and BET and Lifetime. How silly is that? They didn’t even have Disney movies that you could rent! (Which I would have done.) I suppose they wanted you to buy them from the gift shop. I love ya, Disney, but for as much as we spent here, I wanted HBO.

We’re packing up our things, and getting ready to meet the FL Tours car downstairs. We saw that the weather back home is snowy and icy and 4 degrees. Jambo!

And as a final closing, I’m going to list some incidental likes and dislikes in bullet point form. Thanks for reading, and have a magical day... (and if you need a weight loss support person to e-mail back and forth with... contact me! The next couple of months are going to be interesting.)

 

[mega13]

Likes and Dislikes

What I liked:

-I was very pleased with the WDW bus system throughout the hotels and the parks. At no time did we ever wait for the bus for more than 15 minutes.

-I LOVE the cute little princesses everywhere! Omigod, how cute all of the little girls were in their pink and blue and yellow princess costumes with matching tiaras and shoes and wands... It’s SO Disney!

-The coffee wasn’t as bad as everyone made it out to be. Granted, it wasn’t good, but I’ve definitely had worse. Now, since McDonald’s is everywhere, do you think they can strike up a deal with Starbucks?

-The AKL hotel was just stunning. At first we also thought that the lighting was too dim, but we got used to it real fast. It definitely added to the ambiance, and it was never an issue except in the bathroom. It a bit hard to put on my make-up (a swivel wall mirror with light would have been great) but it was a minor thing.

-The food was great each and every time, but boy... was it expensive! We had a Boma breakfast twice, and one nice dinner or lunch a day. In between we just got fruit or ice cream or pretzels, etc. Our food bill for the week was about $1000, but we also like to drink.

-My favorite park, without a doubt, was the Animal Kingdom. I fell in love with all of the lansdcaping. I marveled at the effort to incorporate so many species of trees, bushes and grasses, and the plethora of animal life. It was exotic, it was interesting, and it was a nice break from the attraction ride kind of park. Great job on that, WDW! :jumping4:

-The Cast Members were great! Each night they were out by the savannahs, either offering night vision goggles to view the animals or simply hanging out with us to tell us interesting facts about each species. Everyone at the parks was great as well. I never ran into a rude CM... ever.

-FL Tours is a neutral. They arrived on time, and the car and drivers were great. But the guy(s) answering the phone needs to beef up his customer service skills. I had wonderful help from them trying to coordinate our transfer from Universal to WDW, along with our pick-up from AKL to the airport. But last night, when we arrived back at our hotel room, we had a red light indicating a message, but the person hung up. I assumed it was FL Tours with our confirmation, so I called them back to double check everything. The conversation went something like this:

Me: “Hi! I’m calling to confirm our pick-up for tomorrow?”
FL Tours: “Oh, we called you and left a message. Everything is good!”
Me: (thinking: Oh, really? That’s a neat trick. He knows who I am already? Does he have caller ID stating what hotel room I’m in? Or do they have such little business that it’s not hard to tell the reservations apart?)
FL Tours: “Did you get our message?”
Me: “Um, no... actually, that’s why I’m calling. We had a message but no one said anything. They just hung up. I assumed it was you.”
FL Tours: “Oh, that wasn’t us. We always leave a message.
Me: “Oh, well. I didn’t get a message from you but that’s okay. Can we confirm our pick up?”
Then I tell him what airline, what hotel I’m at, etc. etc. He finally figures out that it’s me, and he convinces me that our 11:00am pick-up for our 1:45 flight wasn’t enough time. I really didn’t want to be sitting at the airport for a long time, so I really thought it was okay. But he insisted that we do a 10:30. Fine. 10:30 it is. But when we were on the road, our driver told us that he had an 11:00 pickup from a terminal on the other side of the airport and that he was running a bit late. Now, that’s all good and fine. But don’t try to convince me that having an earlier pick-up time was for my benefit when it was really for FL Tours benefit. If the guy would have just been honest with me and said that he had a pick-up at the airport at 11:00, and that it would work out so much better to pick us up at 10:30, I would have been so okay with that. But instead he created this false sense of urgency. As it is, right now Steve and I are sitting in these uncomfortable airport terminal seats, waiting over an hour and a half for our flight. (sigh) We still tipped the driver nicely... it wasn’t his fault.

-I loved my new camera and camera bag. I got a new Kodak Easyshare DX7590 for Christmas (thank you, Steve!). It’s fabulous. I also bought a camera bag that was sooooooo perfect! It held my camera, an extra battery, my wallet, some Kleenex, Advil, lip gloss and Purell packets. My passes and maps fit in there as well, and it’s not a big, bulky camera bag. I was so pleased with it!

What I disliked:

-The WDW characters throughout the park. I saw a total of six, and that was after having been to all four parks. This is not counting what I saw on stage... I’m talking characters that just come around to pose with you and play with the kids. I know it was a slow time of the year, but come on.

-Again, reiterating the fact that the TV station choices could be much, much better.

-Mousekeeping was nothing to write home about. We left a tip every morning, and I wasn’t expecting anything extraordinary. But twice we came back to our old, melted ice bag still in the bucket (and we had to call up for another one). Also, two of the days we didn’t get our coffee condiments refilled (although the coffee was). And there was hair from the previous guests on the bathroom floor when we arrived. Three times we forgot to put out the “Privacy” card on the door the night before, and the next morning, each time, Mousekeeping was there to do our room at about 8:30-9:00am. If you read all of my story, then you know we were late sleepers. This annoyed me.

-I really disliked some of the parenting I saw. One father was annoying his son, horse-playing with him as they walked down the slick roads of one of the parks. He was chasing him, playfully tugging on his hair, etc. The boy was trying to run away and he slipped and fell, with his face crashing on the cement. Blood gushed immediately, and the boy just laid there, not moving. It was extremely scary. And instead of calling for help, the father started yelling at the boy, while the mother yelled at the father. I’m sure it was panic, but it was so very heartbreaking. We also saw another couple, sitting on a bench with their toddler daughter standing (wobbly) between them. They were consulting their map together, and neither noticed when the baby slipped off of the bench and fell to the ground in a thump. When she began screaming, each parent began yelling at the other to keep a better eye on her. We saw a ton of yelling, quite a bit of spanking, and I always heard things like, “Quit whining and be happy!” or “C’mon! Quit dragging! We only have six more rides left to do.” The poor kids. My heart went out to all of them.

-I couldn’t believe that I didn’t see any Disers there!! I not only had my Alien Green Mouse Ears swinging in plain sight on my camera bag, but I also kept my eye out for them. Nothing. Nada. Not one. On our last day I wore my homegrown made t-shirt that read, “Love ya... mean it!” And no one thought anything of it. Oh, well. It would’ve been fun to run into someone, but such is my luck. I really wish I could've met some of you, though. Next time I'll bring my genie to help out with the stuff I have no control over.

That’s it! If anyone wants to know about anything else, please contact me or post a reply. It will be my pleasure to respond to any inquiries. And just a note, as of today (it’s Thursday, January 20th), Steve and I are doing okay. We’re not great, but we’re not in crisis mode either. Time, trust and communication should help heal our wounds. A few hugs will help, too.

Asante sana!!!!!

 

[jeepgirl30]

Wonderful report!

I'm sorry you didn't have the magical time you hoped for but glad you did enjoy some things.

You have a great witty humor, Ik loved the US episode! Of course I have to wipe the soda of my monitor I spit all over.

As for the comments from Steve, I hope you realize how wonderful a person you are at any size. You are young and deserve to be loved completey for who you are. You aren't married yet so you may really want to evaluate the relationship and what you are gaining from it now before you are married. But it sounds as if you plan that.

BTW, I'm a mom with one of those "leases" and have only used it a few times but will for sure pack it for Disney! I've had people make comments to me but my DD used to asked for it and would strap it to my purse for her own security. She said it was so I didn't get lost of course. I never thought they looked nice before I had kids but the idea of what could happen without it is so much worse.

Thanks for the great detailed review.

 

[snubie]

Thank you for the great trip report.

As youwork things out with Steve, please know that you are a beautiful person regardless of your size (just as the previous poster said). If Steve can't see that than it is his problem and you can find better elsewhere.

Stacey

 

[mega13]

Thanks for the words of support, pals. I truly know and believe everything you all say. But you know how it is... we live in a world of where plastic body parts are considered sexy. I watched the Golden Globes the other night (no pun intended!) and it amazed me to see how pulled back and botoxed everyone's faces looked! Anywhoo... enough of that.

If anyone would like to see my pics from our vacation, copy and paste the link below into your web browser if it doesn't automatically hyperlink. There aren't much of me (what, did you already forget how much I adore posing for the camera? lol), but the reality is that it was my camera, so I did most of the picture taking. Incase you absolutely have to know what I look like, the very first pic is of me at my work banquet (and I'm with one of my very thin, very beautiful friends from work - don't get us mixed up, now). No... I'm not a monster. But I guess I found out the hard way that you don't have to look like a monster to scare your mate off. It's all in one's perception, and apparently my Calvin Klien-model boyfriend thinks I should look like Cindy Crawford. (And if you can't read my words and interpret the dripping sarcasm, it's time for you to move on to my pictures. Again...enough of this. Let's move on to the pics!)

Have fun! (Oh, and I apologize that the first ten pics or so are of US, but since they were part of my story, they had to be included.)

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mhofbauer@sbcglobal.net/my_photos

 

[boucheresq]

I'm so upset for you! I saw your pix and you are a beautiful girl! Don't you ever think otherwise. I am the same age and approximate weight as you and my dh would never say such horrible things. In fact, he gets mad when I say them about myself. He tells me I'm beautiful. Steve needs to do the same for you! And believe me, I weigh QUITE a bit more than when we first got together 10 years ago and since we got married 6 years ago. I truly hope you two go to counseling together. Good luck and know I'm thinking of you!

 

[mega13]

Well, of course I was expecting (and hoping!) to get some private messages from all of you. But you know, there are people out there who obviously have no life. Here's a word for word copy of a PM message I got just minutes ago. My suggestion? Stay away from this poster. She's bad news.

I think you and your Porno loving Boy Friend are messed. Who sings songs to people about snot and boggies in public, obviously someone who does not care about there image.Boy you are weird

 

[jeepgirl30]

Atleast you knew how to use spell check!

I don't know why people spend so much time judging others and not just enjoying the information available.

 

[mega13]

It's funny! I PM'd her back almost the same thing. I basically told her that she should learn her spelling and grammar first before trying to burn people on here.

So sad. Should we send her to bear an eternity in the horrid stench of Stitch's alein breath on the Great Escape?

How 'bout pairing her up with the Stinkbug and condemning her to punishment below the Tree of Life?

Whatever... Hakuna Matata!

 

[NYPOOH]

Thanks for your reports, they were very entertaining. I'll be going in a few months again (was just there in Oct) and will have to do trip reports of my own.

You look beautiful and don't let anyone tell you differently. I understand how you feel, I lost a bunch of weight about 2 years ago but if you are going to do it, do it for yourself not because someone is making you feel like you have to. If you ever need support or someone to chat shoot me an e-mail. (ntirotta@yahoo.com)

And always remember that you are absolutely beautiful.

 

[Bird-Mom]

I was in a long term relationship with a guy who talked to me the way Steve is talking to you. I always promised to lose weight and exercise better, and we would then kiss and make up. Six years later, he dumped me. It was the best day of my life. I met my dh and he treated me like the princess I am no matter what my size (which is about the same as you). You have a great sense of humor and are beautiful. Don't settle for him! Hugs!

 

[Wickedmom75]

I loved your trip report!!! The part where you made up your own song for that rude girl was too funny! Thank you for posting a great story even though it had heartache in it, good for you for continuing your trip and trying to not let your BF's comments ruin your fun. You are a beautiful person both inside and out