PART SEVEN:
The bus drops us off in front of Epcot with time to spare. I can relax now. A little. Lowell and I link arms and grin excitedly like a couple kids skipping school. We havent been to Epcot in years. Maybe not since our honeymoon in 1997. Most trips we only do one or two parks, with Magic Kingdom the one we seldom skip, and at MK we always go on Pirates of the Carribean first, because PoC was one of the things we first discovered we had in common back when we were dating.
We had gone through the ritual dating quiz and gotten high scores: Which do you like better, dogs or cats? Cats. Whats your favorite season of the year? Fall. What was your worst subject in high school? Math. Whats your favorite ride at Disney World? Pirates of the Carribean. We were surprised we both chose that one. We knew the music by heart as well as most of the lyrics. Most couples listen to romantic music when theyre dating, and end up with a sweet sentimental tune they regard as Our Song. We never did. In fact, Our Song was . . .
Yes, it is sort of pathetic, isnt it?
Dont ye be mockin us, ye scurvy dogs. A perfectly fine love song, it be.
So, it will be an unusual Disney trip this time with only one park, Epcot. We have only two full days, which is hardly worth the trip. Except for the Time Dilation Effect, which makes one day feel like three - a really great benefit unless youre having a Bad Vacation Day. And those are extremely rare. Fortunately.
Its rather sad that security must be tighter these days, even at Disney, but its inevitable. Lowell is carrying our digital camera, and I have only a tiny purse that is basically a glorified trifold wallet on a shoulder strap. I think perhaps a wallet on a string does not constitute a bag, and we attempt to pass through the line for people who are not carrying bags. The security woman looks up, locks eyes with mine, and bares her fangs as we approach. Slowly she extends one claw-like appendage in my direction, and hisses bagsssssss, over there. Lowell protectively jerks me toward the bag check line.
Here, a grandfatherly sort of gentleman is poking and prodding his way through purses and fanny packs, coolers and tote bags. A family ahead of us opens a large bag revealing a mind-boggling array of snack food: potato chips, Fritos, popcorn, cookies, granola bars, cake, candy, sodas . . . it was all there and more. I think there might have been a few Mickey waffles left over from breakfast at the bottom, and maybe a Dole Whip or two smuggled in from the Magic Kingdom.
Mmmmmmm. I believe I will need to confiscate this bag, the man says with a wink and a chuckle. He waves them through.
A few more people move through the line and submit their purses and bags for a brief examination. The line is moving quickly, but it is still a line, and if it were not for the gargoyle at the other security station we would be on our way by now. Now it is our turn. I slip the wallet on a string from my shoulder and am about to offer it for inspection, but the grandfatherly checker smiles and waves me through.
Waves me through ! We have waited in line for four or five minutes, apparently for no reason at all. It would make me feel better if he at least LOOKED at my bag. Maybe give it a cursory poke or two. Not that there is much to examine of course, as a wallet contains very few places to stuff grenades or gel explosives.
But dont you want to . . . I say limply.
He waves me through again.
Youve very sure.
He smiles. Yes he is sure.
It has a little compartment on the back, I say showing him the other side.
He shakes his head.
Inside is a cylindrical object made of compact cotton with a string attached that could be used as a fuse, I confess, but he doesnt hear me because Lowell is dragging me away, shaking his head and muttering something that I cant quite make out.
We approach a group of huge monoliths that look like giant alien tomb stones dropped here from another world. Very strange. And people have inscribed their names and etched pictures in the stones. The aliens will be pretty ticked when they come back and find all this graffiti. How long have these been here? They werent here last time.
And thats when it hits me . . . how little I know about Epcot. We came mostly to check out the Food & Wine Festival, but there are a lot of new rides. I spent months on the DIS, reading about the All Star Music Resort, the Wilderness Lodge, Magical Express, even about LGMHPC (lime green Mickey head paint chips), but only started reading about Epcot a few days before our trip. I saw references to Maelstrom Its a Fast Pass? apparently some sort of inside joke that Ive missed. I learned about Mission Space and the orange and green lanes. I know that Turtle Talk is worth seeing, and theres a Nemo ride. Test Track is popular but some people think its lame and Soarin is the # 1 Gotta Do ride. I have barely scratched the surface and now were here.
Ready or not.
Lowell and I make our way to the park entry point where we wait with a growing number of people for the 8:00 opening, and I feel a mixture of excitement and panic. Unlike the Magic Kingdom, I dont know where Im going. Nothing is comfortable and familiar. I cant visualize the route we need to take to Mission Space and Test Track. Soarin is on the opposite side somewhere. I really should have memorized the map in advance. Lowell is holding the map, which is probably a good thing, because if we go the wrong way or get lost I can blame him. Maps and directions are one of the few things we ever fight about, which is probably why I like to fly, rather than drive on vacations. If Im driving south, I have to turn the map upside down so its pointing south or I get confused. That drives Lowell crazy. But I have other driving skills he doesnt have. The man cant eat a burger and drive at the same time without going off the road. I can drive, tune the radio, drink coffee, eat a burger, brush my hair, talk to people in the back seat, and read my upside down map, all at the same time and not go off the road.
The group of people around us is growing, but the crowd is fairly small compared to what it will be at 9:00. Most of these people arent even holding maps. They know Epcot the way we know the Magic Kingdom. Well be eating their dust all the way through Future World. Well be the dreaded newbies blocking traffic, studying our map.
I say to Lowell, When we get in, we go past the Giant Golf Ball, then go to the left and head toward Mission Space and Test Track.
He unfolds the map and I lean over it with him. Those are two of the most popular rides, and theyre close together. I trace the route with my finger. Well cut across to Soarin afterward, hopefully before the mob descends at 9:00.
We should be able to get through at least three or four rides by then, and the parks dont usually get crowded until later in the morning, anyway, he reminds me.
I hope hes right. We dont like waiting but are Fast Pass Virgins. Our trips are always off season, so we manage to ride without using a Fast Pass. We know what they are, how they work, but have simply never needed one. Now it has become a challenge, a test of skill, to navigate from ride to ride at the optimal time of day and walk onto every ride with a minimal wait. Can we do it again, on November 12th last weekend of the Food & Wine Festival?
The park opening announcement comes over the air and suddenly were swept forward with the enthusiastic crowd. Im in a hurry, but not so much that I cant enjoy Epcots unique brand of beauty. Its so completely different from the MK. Everything is sleek, and art deco modern. Sort of George Jetson-like. The monorail track circles overhead.
The crowd quickly dissipates, scattering in different directions. Small groups of people walk ahead and behind but its like having the park to ourselves. We pass though a courtyard in the Innoventions area and I smile at all the cheerful pastel colors gleaming against the bright morning sky.
We turn left. In a few moments we see the Mission Space sign ahead.
Two male CM stand outside. Im proud of myself for already knowing about the orange and the green lines. I know why the CMs are there holding green and orange cards, directing traffic.
We want the green, I announce.
It doesnt matter that I already know what I want and where we are going. They need to explain it to us anyway.
The orange lane is the more intense version of the ride. The green lane is less intense and does not include spinning, one of the CMs says.
Yes, I know. Wed like the green line.
He gives us our cards and we walk inside and get into the green line, which is infinitely shorter than the orange line. This is both good and bad. The bad part is that we have to pass a lot of braver souls who seem to be wearing looks that say, there go another couple wimps. The good part is our line will be shorter and well get to ride before they do.
In typical Disney fashion, there is so much to see along the way, but we will have to study it another time when we are not fortunate enough to be among the first people of the day to ride Mission Space. We have an hour to make it through as many of the best attractions as we can before the floodgates open at 9:00 and the sea of humanity surges in and spoils our temporary paradise.
We catch up to the people ahead and enter a room which gives us a view of mission control. The control console houses an impressive array of lights, buttons and gadgets which look realistic enough to set the mood for our simulated journey to Mars. We watch a video showing other trainees like us who have experienced what we are about to undergo. Now we go on to the briefing room where we find rows of numbered circles on the floor and we are assigned to a row with four circles. We watch an informational video on TV screens overhead. The mystery and excitement of what this is going to be like grows with each room we enter and each set of instructions we receive. With us in our row is a father with his son of about eight. The boy looks excited but a little nervous, and for that matter, so does the dad. From their comments we gather that they are newbies just as we are. All the warnings and disclaimers along the way tend to make you wonder what you are getting yourself into. But after all, this is the green side, so how bad can it be?
We receive the roles we must assume during our training mission: commander, pilot, navigator and engineer. In a few moments we will pass through a door leading to our capsule. A cast member gives us our last chance to bail out and asks for us to give a thumbs up sign if we are ready to proceed.
All four of us give the thumbs up, and with a mixture of eager curiosity and a touch of trepidation, we step forward to enter our capsule.
To Be Continued . . . .
Wanna go back. 
- I like the layout of your one better! 
What happens is this - on Level 1 there is *no* access at all to the B side from the A side - there are just rows and rows and rows of counters/desks with nowhere to break through so we had to choice but to retrace our steps and go back up to Level 3, cross to B side and then go back in the elevator. So although I'd love to have passed (or is it failed?) the secret Disney test 
I'm proof that their advice is indeed sensible! 
It's just that many things changed about me after I had my son. He's quite the high-strung, strong-willed little angel, I must tell ya! Nevertheless, your writing has inspired me to take a moment or two out for myself to plop down in a comfortable chair, with pad and pen in hand. Thanks!
teacher2001: thanks for stopping by and for letting me know you're enjoying the report.
dizneydonna: I am delighted to hear that my lowly little trip report would inspire you to start writing again. Let me send some encouragement your way! 
I am going to try it next month.
