We didn't do ee days for exactly the reason you said: crowds. Disney is really promoting them these days, and you can see the difference. While we were waiting for the bus in the mornings, the ee park's bus was always standing room only, while ours was not crowded at all! I also got a lot of info from
www.tourguidemike.com as to what parks on what days, and things like that. It really helped! Also, since some in our group were newbies too, I ordered some customized touring plans from
www.touringplans.com and they were wonderful! We were there the first week of August, it was packed, and we never waited in line more than 15 minutes! I think the combination of the 2 web sites really helped with a group as large as ours.
As far as the Fireworks Cruise, if you've never seen Wishes, this is by far the best way to see it! We hadn't seen it before, and were so glad we did it this way for our first time! The cost was about $30 per person, and it is added to your room. I think even if you had room only, the fireworks portion has to be paid 45 days before arrival.
Also, we had to go through group dining for all of our ps's, the phone # for them is: 1-407-939-7707, just in case you didn't have it already. I would HIGHLY suggest only doing 1 per day. We had 2 on our MGM day and it really cut into our touring time. All other days we just had 1 and it worked out really well. We all split up since we had such different age groups and things, and the ps let us spend some time together and see what everyone had done during the day.
Hope you guys have fun! If you need any more info, just ask!