Our House-- Love it or Leave it?

[emma'smom]

Oh it is the ongoing saga of our house! We live in a 2000 SF house that is very chopped-up and boxy little rooms. We've been thinking of buying or building something bigger as our two dd's continue to grow. We've looked around and find things we like, but don't love and talked with a few builders who have lots available in places we'd be happy living, but aren't over the moon jumping for.

We live in a very desirable neighborhood of newer homes, friendly neighbors, etc. So the thing is, we really like our neighbors. They aren't our best friends, but they are friendly. We help each other out with projects, get together for drinks on the back decks a few times a season, etc. Also, our younger dd has several playmates who bounce around from house to house. We've lived here since our older dd was 6 months old.

We don't really want to move---we just want a more comfortable house. We've talked about doing a renovation to make the family room/kitchen/mudroom bigger--but most builders we talk to tell us that for the the cost of that kind of project we might as well just build new or put the money into a bigger house with "better bones" since what we want will be a retrofit.

We are happy with our master bedroom and could easily change some things around to in the master bathroom to make it into a dream bathroom. However, there isn't much we can do to the girl's bathroom as it is pretty standard.

Also, at some point we may wish we had a first floor master bedroom as we age....

If we stay, it will be a decision to make a hefty investment in our current house----a decision to that we are indeed staying put.

Or....we need to list the house....and that means leaving a place where we are happy in exchange for an unknown--that could be great! We have friends in other neighborhoods we like that have bigger homes.

In the mean time, we are just treading water--afraid to renovate too much for fear of regretting what we do depending on what we decide to do (ie. I would like new tile in bathroom, if we're leaving---it will be basic, if we are staying, it will be higher end---lots of projects like this).

What to do!?

Oh....and an old friend just texted me to tell me they just put an offer in on a house on our street! It would be so fun to live near them!

 

[dsneprincess]

Watch some love it or list it on HGTV. You will get some ideas on what happens when you start opening walls and reto fitting. I always think their budget stretches further due to the magic of tv, tho. Only you can make this decision. You also should consider the "living through the renovations" cost, as that won't be easy either.

 

[tvguy]

We went through this about 15 years ago.


Buying a different house with what we wanted would have cost us about $100,000 more than our current house was worth, plus the cost of sales commissions to sell our old house (about $16,000), and the cost of moving (lord knows how much that would have cost).

It cost us $24,000 to add onto our current house, adding 256 square feet with a bedroom, half bath, walk in closet, moving the laundry room into that space, and converting our existing laundry room into a pantry.

We got lucky in that we found a contractor who had a 3 week down time between building new homes, so our addition, from start to final inspection took 3 weeks to the day.

We are addicted to Love it or List it. What is most interesting to me is the "spread" between what people are willing to pay to remodel, versus how much they are willing to spend on a different house, above and beyond what their current house is worth. I think my favorite was the folks willing to spend only $18,000 on a remodel, but $250,000 more than their current house was worth for a different house. That adds like $1,300 a month to their monthly payment, so what they are willing to spend on a remodel is almost the same as what the new house will cost them per year.

 

[Iheartfall]

I would call a realtor and ask to view a couple homes just to get a feel for whats out there. I've got the same type of home where its in the mid 2000sq ft range with lots of rooms! It used to be 6 bedrooms until I got the third level all knocked down and turned into one large room and a storage area. While two bedrooms on the second level were turned into a giant walk in closet and big bedroom with office area. Made a HUGE difference! Honestly, I did not want to move again. I've had plenty of bad neighbors that would make you pull your hair out. Plus realtor commissions take a huge bit out of things. And good neighbors are worth their weight in gold!!

 

[HM]

We had a situation similar to yours. Our house was designed in a way that made living it the common spaces not all that desirable. However, our neighborhood was GREAT. We loved it.

We did choose to move to a new neighborhood, and we actually were the first home built that wasn't a spec (only one other couple moved in before us). We had no idea what our neighbors would be like. The neighborhood took three years to build out and has 62 homes. Our house lives so much better (it's bigger too). I love our house. The neighbors are nice enough and I do things with them, but we really miss the old neighborhood and nieghbors there too. It doesn't have a community pool, walking trail, fishing pond, tennis courts, etc, like our old neighborhood. It's just 62 houses.

If we could have done something to our old house to make it work for us, I think we might have stayed there. We did remodel our master bath and kitchen before we moved. But, there was a wall between the kitchen and living area that I would have loved to knock out for openness and couldn't since all the pipes from upstairs went through it. It would have been a very complicated change. And the kids rooms were very small. They were getting older and bigger and the house was therefore getting smaller. So, we opted for the unknown.

I think you should contact an architect and see if there is a way to change your current house.

 

[Nixie]

Just adding some more food for thought, neighbors can change. We loved our next door neighbors. They had children our children's age. We would chat. We would even watch each other's children every once and awhile. They decided to move two years ago and the neighbors from "you know where" moved in. They are now short selling the house, so who knows when and who will move in next.

 

[Happyjen27]

I love my neighborhood too, we have a similar situation with getting together and kids playing and such. So, I get where you're coming from. When we win the 90 million Lotto I think we will still stay in our 'hood. Think about the beauty of your DD and her friends bouncing from house to house all with parents you know and trust. That is invaluable I think.

I love that someone pointed out that neighbors come and go, that is true and something I hadn't thought of. That is certainly a consideration here.

Another consideration is the "soft costs" of moving. Curtains will likely all need to be replaced. Quite often furniture that works in one home won't work in another. Stopping and starting phone/cable/internet. Even area rugs may not work from one home to the next. That can be a significant cost when you add all of that up.

When we undertook our huge renovation, instead of meeting with contractors and listing all the things we wanted, we started with the architect. He drew up plans that were within our budget and moved the walls that needed to be moved. He had innovative ideas I hadn't thought of yet, and actually found us an extra closet. Good architects know the costs of much of this work, and can draw up solid plans that will come in on budget.

ETA: I should say that our good architect knew the general prices and met with us and our contractor. Not every architect is tuned into current project costs. But, they should be willing to work with you and your contractor.

 

[Theaberdeenkid]

We recently moved. We went through the same ordeal with our old home. That house we basically gutted to the studs and remodeled ourselves, getting professional help when needed. In perspective, though we loved our last home because we made it exactly how we wanted it, I'm glad we shed that old shell. The new house isn't exactly how we want it but it has better bones, is larger and the work to be done is only cosmetic. The 64k question is whether you want to stay put or move, if it were me, as much as I liked my neighbors it was not enough reason for us not to move on with our lives.

 

[lauradis]

Location location location,, We live in a great hood where the kids run around from house to house to house and mostly grow up together. Awesome school system where teachers care. Great shopping not far, work less then 3 mins for dh, 20 mins for me ... location location location.

Im not in love with our house. Its good house, its one we can afford, its better then the house we grew up in.

Every time I look at a house that I love style, the lay out, I just remember why we moved her and get over my desire to move to "better house"

 

[ldo]

I would stay put, We live in a lovely newer neighborhood, but don't have nearly the connection as we had with our old neighbors. So, with great neighbors, I would do some minimal updates and low cost renovations--for ex., adding space might mean an addition, but can you make better use of your space for modern living? My friend had a typical 1960s home which was walk into the formal LR, pass thru to formal DR, tiny closed off kitchen off of DR. They had little boxy rooms. They opened the wall between DR and kitchen, put a counter/eat in bar in that area and a smaller "Panera's" style seating group where the rest of the formal DR had been. They did solid cherry (but just midrange), granite, stainless, but did not change the layout, and also replaced carpet with HW flooring throughout to tie it in. No more formal DR, but it looked great and worked perfectly for their family, as well as for entertaining, as everyone hangs out in the kitchen anyway. They also did very well when they sold their house--mainly due to this update.

 

[ronandannette]

We couldn't make a decision like this without thoroughly researching resale values. What's the market like in your neighbourhood? How much did you pay and what's your mortgage like (rhetorical questions; I'm not actually asking you). Is it even possible to do the reno you want without "over-improving" it? It may not be a wise idea to end up owning the most expensive house on the street. Situations can change unexpectedly and I'd be very careful about being unable to divest without a loss. Best wishes whatever you decide. (BTW, this is a very common conundrum; everybody in real estate knows the biggest competition against a new house is the house you already own!)

 

[jenflamingo1]

Do some research on remodel/addition ... One person that I love to follow is Marcia Lyons...even though I have no plans to do either ! She seems to have a good grasp on common sense and finances...I read her column every week in my hometown newspaper's real estate section. I very much enjoy studying the plans to see how she will configure spaces for maximum benefit . Well , well worth investigating .
Disclaimer : No financial or otherwise conflicting interests

 

[wiigirl]

Just adding some more food for thought, neighbors can change. We loved our next door neighbors. They had children our children's age. We would chat. We would even watch each other's children every once and awhile. They decided to move two years ago and the neighbors from "you know where" moved in. They are now short selling the house, so who knows when and who will move in next.

 

[DawnM]

This is something we are looking at too.

I would like some changes to our house too.

However, we go back and forth with wanting to move closer to town or stay where we can afford a larger house and acreage.

Dawn

We went through this about 15 years ago.


Buying a different house with what we wanted would have cost us about $100,000 more than our current house was worth, plus the cost of sales commissions to sell our old house (about $16,000), and the cost of moving (lord knows how much that would have cost).

It cost us $24,000 to add onto our current house, adding 256 square feet with a bedroom, half bath, walk in closet, moving the laundry room into that space, and converting our existing laundry room into a pantry.

We got lucky in that we found a contractor who had a 3 week down time between building new homes, so our addition, from start to final inspection took 3 weeks to the day.

We are addicted to Love it or List it. What is most interesting to me is the "spread" between what people are willing to pay to remodel, versus how much they are willing to spend on a different house, above and beyond what their current house is worth. I think my favorite was the folks willing to spend only $18,000 on a remodel, but $250,000 more than their current house was worth for a different house. That adds like $1,300 a month to their monthly payment, so what they are willing to spend on a remodel is almost the same as what the new house will cost them per year.

 

[NotUrsula]

What is most interesting to me is the "spread" between what people are willing to pay to remodel, versus how much they are willing to spend on a different house, above and beyond what their current house is worth. I think my favorite was the folks willing to spend only $18,000 on a remodel, but $250,000 more than their current house was worth for a different house. That adds like $1,300 a month to their monthly payment, so what they are willing to spend on a remodel is almost the same as what the new house will cost them per year.

Oh, there are reasons why someone might have that mindset, and even be correct about it. Take us, for instance.

We live in a GREAT neighborhood that has everything we need within walking distance, including good public transit that takes the teen wherever he needs to go without being driven there. The house has great historical detailing, but it's very small; 4 people in 1100 sq. ft. (the total area of the bedrooms is 445 sq. ft, and the only bathroom is not on the same floor as the bedrooms.) We would love to remodel and expand it, and we did, to some extent, having our two-story back porch converted to full finished rooms. (That cost about 11K, but didn't involve any services other than electrical.) However, beyond refurbing the kitchen or bathroom, we will not invest further.

Here is the reason why: the house is paid for. While the neighborhood is great, the school district is seriously sub-par, so we all send our kids to private schools. As long as we stay in the house, we can't go too deep into remodeling debt because we have that tuition to carry; it runs about $20K per yr. However, if we moved we would move into an area where the public schools were acceptable, and in that case we would have that money to put into the mortgage instead.

 

[tvguy]

As long as we stay in the house, we can't go too deep into remodeling debt because we have that tuition to carry; it runs about $20K per yr. However, if we moved we would move into an area where the public schools were acceptable, and in that case we would have that money to put into the mortgage instead.

Sort of the same situation here, but we opted to cut spending on cars, which explains why our family car is a 1987.

 

[emma'smom]

OP here... Thanks for all of the thoughtful comments on both sides of the issue. It's given me lots to think about...I should add that our house was built in 97, so it isn't super-old (ie. most things about it are "standard"--standard windows, standard door frames, etc)

I do worry about over-investing. However, when we moved in we literally lived where the sidewalk ended! We were the last house on the street from the first phase of construction (we were the 2nd owners). Since then the entire rest of the neighborhood has been built and many of those homes sold for 30-40K more than we paid for our house and some of the larger ones (2500 sf) are now going for 75-85k more than we paid. Of course, they are newer than our's....but all on the same street.

If we relocate, it will only be by a 10 minute drive, so commutes would be about the same. We live in a very small city (I think of it as more of a large town)...so the schools are all the same (different elementary schools, but one middle and one high school). The other neighborhoods we would consider feed into an equivalent in quality elementary school.

I should also add that many of the families in our neighborhood are tenured faculty (college town) meaning that they are less likely to relocate than typical. This doesn't mean they won't choose to move to different neighborhoods (just like we are thinking about) and there's always a chance that circumstances will take folks elsewhere, but that tenure thing does mean families often do settle down and commit to the town for the long haul.

I also worry about selling because I've never sold a home before. We lived in apartments in a large city while we were in grad school and in our early careers. We only relocated and settled down bought a house after we decided to start a family.

My DH actually went ahead and called a builder/architect with met at the Parade of Homes last week to see what his thoughts are about adding on and/or building (we described our scenario briefly when we were touring his model home). We figure it is a place to at least start a conversation.

I have a friend who owns one of the larger realty firms in town. I should call her as well and get her take on things. She knows this neighborhood (and all of them) well.

Oy!-- So of course while I'm typing, the door bell rings and it's my older dd's new "friend" who moved in across the street (who she just met on the school bus yesterday-- starting middle school this week) wanting dd to come walk her dog with her. Just when we think about moving, she starts to find new friends (although we all know that in middle school that "new friend" could be old news by tomorrow).

 

[honeybunches]

We were in the same boat a couple of years ago. We were living in a brand new home that we loved---it was beautiful--but too small for our needs. We sold it in one day and were in a huge rush to be settled in before our 1st child was born. We bought the first house that had what we were looking for. We weren't in love with it but I was NOT going to live in a smoky apartment one second longer than necessary. Fast forward 7 years.....we wanted to sell our house, it assessed for $20K over what we paid so we were pleased. The problem was, we couldn't find a home in our price range that had what we were looking for, other than our own house!! So we decided to stay here and do some things that we wanted. We put in an inground pool, put hardwood floor & tile throughout the whole house, and got a new roof. The layout is still not the best (bedrooms are still small, things like that we didn't change) but overall it's what we want. For now. When the kids are grown & out of the house I want to buy a little cottage in the woods!

 

[emma'smom]

....and then out of nowhere my uncle emails a series of pictures of the family room they added to their home a few years ago (a boxy square house just like mine). We haven't discussed this issue since LAST summer---talk about kismet!

 

[natfrac]

My husband and I went through the Love it or List it phase recently and we decided to love it. We live in a condo, which means the only room for expansion is in our attic and it would be too costly. So we decided to use furniture/built-ins, plus cleared out the clutter to make the most of our place. It's still small, but we've always liked the coziness of living in smaller homes.