Our family could use your knowledge and help!

[djblu883]

Hello! My DD and her DP are living in NJ along with my 5 year old DGD. They would live to live closer to both families who are in Tn. And Al. both of which don't accept civil unions.For those of you who lives in states down south that don't and also have children , how do you protect your spouses rights legally if something should happen to you? Please message me with any suggestions so that I can pass any info you have along to them! They love Disney and would love to be closer so we can all go more often together!!

 

[taylor3297]

Get a good attorney to put together an iron clad will, power of attorney in case of medical situations. That is how friends of mine have handled it. Also, if children are involved, make sure that the will states who is to have guardenship of the child/children.

 

[djblu883]

Thanks! Right now they are working on adoption so her partner has parental rights....one step at a time I guess! But my DGD is growing up so far away from me ! :-(

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

It doesn't always work. Tell them to be extremely careful, and seek excellent legal advice before moving their family into an intolerant state. It's wonderful to be near extended family, but most important to keep their's safe and intact.

 

[djblu883]

It doesn't always work. Tell them to be extremely careful, and seek excellent legal advice before moving their family into an intolerant state. It's wonderful to be near extended family, but most important to keep their's safe and intact.

They are very aware of that and the horror stories that have happened. That is also why I'm posting to look at all options and experiences! Thanks!

 

[soulmates]

We live in NC. I agree w/ previous posters, they need an atty to draw up legal docs for them. A living will is a MUST. Good luck

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

I would actually recommend that they see if there is a Lambda league that can provide them with some good info on the state (they are considering).

That would give them a format for being sure that all of their protections were in place.

 

[Desiree1972]

I live in GA - while we had a civil union in VT it is not recognized here, but our friends and families honor our union. My DP adopted both children - in my county same sex second parent adoptions are legal and not uncommon. Our attorney first advised us to all have the same last name, then she had us do living wills and powers of attorney. We have never had any issues with our Son's schools accepting either of us at meetings, or signing documents - of course we live in a liberal bubble inside of Atlanta - however, I find that many large cities here in the South have similar mind sets.
Best of luck. If you would like my attorney's name just PM me. Hope you get to be closer to your GD

 

[momto2js]

I think that the answer to this question depends ALOT on the view points of the extended family. Is the family of the "biological" mother going to challenge any arrangements for the children in the case that person passes way?? If so, then I wouldn't move to Alabama. The SO would have very little standing here. However, I believe that SO adoption is honored and done in TN so that might be a better option.

From personal experience, finding an attorney that has the experience you are looking for in Alabama is also a tough thing to do. In addition to the "legal" challenges, there are still every day social challenges that exist in the south. I would suggest Huntsville, AL or Nashville to limit "culture shock" between NJ and the south.

Good luck