our DVC plans and the inlaws!!!!!

[tripletvan]

Has anyone ever had this happen? My mom & I are owners and had many vacation with her, my sister and my family. Her name is on the deed due to DH being diffucult, I send her money once a month out of my "special" checking account and it works better this way. Here is the problem. She has now invited my DB & DSI to tag along. We did this once and it was okay but now she wants it to be a annual event but it has to fit "THEIR" schedule!
Ps. They get a two bedroom between them & their two kids while mom DS, DH and my three kids share a two bedroom! Where have I lost control?

 

[patsal]

Ouch! Perhaps you should have a well thought out discussion with your Mom. She may not cave, but it might be alright to suggest that she join you on your vacation contributing for her share of the points (space used). Take the 2 bedroom and divide the number of points needed by the number of people staying in it and "charge her those points. Then if she has the number of points she needs for an additonal room on the in-law schedule she could go again with them. Unfortunately it may be time for you to re-think sharing a contract. Whatever you do, I hope it all works out for you.

 

[PamOKW]

Hmmm....sounds like your brother and sister are getting vacations for free and you are paying for your share. I see why you are probably upset. However, your Mom does own a portion of the points (not sure how you divvied up the costs) and should feel free to use them as she likes. The place where you could make a change is in participating in the group trips. Talk to Mom and let her know your feelings. If you don't want to always travel with your brother, tell her your family will make their plans and she is welcome to come. If she'd like to skip a trip with you to go with someone else (like your brother) she should be free to make that choice. However, you should be free to make the choice NOT to participate in that trip.

 

[kem330]

I guess it depends on you split the points. Did you equally buy in and do you equally pay dues? Then half the points should be yours to do as you wish. Brother should not be allowed to freeload on your points. You need to be upfront with mom and say you want input into your share of the points and its not fair if you pay and he gets a free trip. Maybe you can alternate who uses the points each year?

 

[colleen costello]

At the very least your brother could "suffer" in a 1-bedroom! His family is only 4 people... it's a no-brainer! This is hardly subjecting him to prison. If you want to be really tough, stick him in a studio!

 

[tripletvan]

We split everything down the middle except the fact that she is the "Card" Holder.When we are on vacation she just gives it to me as she would rather relax at "home" while we run. She just wants to see everyone together and I understand but when my SIL starts changing dates it drives me nuts! I caved in and cancelled my two bedroom standard views for Easter because it wasn't convient for them now we are planning on Thanksgiving. The even funnier ( well sort of!) point is that my brother is very well to do.

 

[mb168]

"Turn them in" to your DVC guide and get the incentive when they sign up. Or, do this trip and "happen" to walk by the Boardwalk offices and then lightly nudge them inside....

 

[Sharper]

But I don't see how your mother could be upset with you if you present the facts to her: You pay for half, your brother pays for nothing, but his family is actually getting better rooms and their schedule accommodated first. It is understandable that you are getting resentful of the situation but I think you will have to bite the bullet and try to talk to your mother about how you feel before anything will improve. Good luck!

 

[Mic]

Moms just can't be "fair". It's not in their nature. As a rule, DH and I never relied on either set of parents for daycare, diapers, Christmas gifts, etc., unlike my sister and 2 of his siblings. We chose to set a better example for our kids in the hopes that they will never expect such from us. But as a mother, I can understand why your mother allows your brother's family to disrupt the plan...she is the designated peacekeeper. I doubt she views DVC as hers and yours alone, but rather a family investment to be used by the whole family, regardless of who the investors are. Sharing the point contract is sticky in any situation(my DH knows I will never divorce him if it means splitting our points but I feel your mother should allow your brother to use only her portion of the points if your brother insists on a 2-bedroom. If he would consider a 1-bedroom(or better yet, a studio) for his family, you could certainly allow that as a 1-time "gift" from you and Mom, but let him know it is a 1-time deal not to be repeated the next time Mom feels generous. Let HIM know what your monthly payment is, so maybe he will do the honorable thing without putting Mom in the middle. And if you are like me, and do nothing but smile and bear it, take heart that you are not alone, sister. Our original contract and 2 add-ons were purchased by me, with my husband's only contribution being his notorized signature. I took on extra work and gave up little luxuries to afford DVC, and so far, we have taken only HIS family to WDW with us, with the exception of my sister and nephew for a short trip. Now HE is planning to take his free-loading brother(who makes more $$ than us)and said brother's girlfriend with us on our next trip. The fool left me in charge of reservations...brother is in a studio! With the savings in points, I invited our good friends to stay in a studio the same week with their 2-year-old angel! (The very thought of his brother in that big tub at my expense was just more than I could bear!)Good luck working this out.

 

[inky dinky doo]

Originally posted by Mic
Moms just can't be "fair". It's not in their nature.

What? That's a pretty broad statement, isn't it?

Pat (a mom who goes out of her way to be fair, many time at her own expense)

323 days and counting . . . again

 

[CaptainMidnight]

You could allocate your points 1/2 and 1/2 to do as you wish and encourage the others to rent points, either from you or the rent trade board to accomodate thier vacation needs. Just an idea. If they rent from you, you could use the money to buy a separate contract. Sounds like you really need a heart to heart to tell you how you feel. Perhaps she reads these boards.....

Family can be difficult, and they don't always understand how DVC works and the expense involved. We start explaining points and dues, banking, etc. and see eyes glaze over.

Vacation time for one's own non-extended immediate family is very important.

 

[jimmytammy]

I can see your dilema. Family is very important but as we get older and go our seperate ways we change. Sounds like your family isnt considering your half of DVC as being as much worth to them as it is to you. You need a one on one powwow with Mom to get these problems resolved before it gets so out of hand that you end up being the bad guy.

Stand firm without being nasty because that will automatically pit you against the rest of them. After things are worked out with Mom, talk to the others to explain your side, say you enjoyed the trip(s) so far together but things cant keep going like they are. Be frank, point out how much its costing you or has cost you and working around schedules makes things that more tense.

Bottom line, dont beat around the bush, stand firm but with love in your heart for other family members. Good luck.