OT: Why do you homeschool?

[devmer]

I was glancing at the homeschool post, and it looks like a lot of people are homeschooling. I was wondering, why do you homeschool? Also if you home school how do you incorporate socializing with other children into your lives?

Thanks.

Dawn

 

[vmkids]

I have homeschooled all three of my children. Two are now done. WE had a good youth group at our church that taught my kids all they needed to kow about friends and such. Some things you didn't expect from church friends was the back stabbing and such. Trust me kids will figure out the social stuff just by being homeschooled. It makes them different but it also makes them great problem solvers and they learn that the world works in a different nmode then we do. My kids still are glad they were homeschooled and have done chruch camps and such. They have a wide network of friends and seem to be pretty adjusted!

 

[DreadpiratK]

I know your questions are sincere, but be prepared, the socialization thing is a question that Homeschoolers hear so much they sometimes get tired of it, and can often give more of an answer then you may be prepared for!

Anyway, why do we homeschool? Lots of reasons, but primarily because we believe it to be the best thing for our children. We've been doing it for 12 years now, and our oldest(15) is starting college this year, so we did something right.

The short answer is this: Public school tends, perforce, to teach to the middle, if you're too far on either end of the curve you get left behind, and we did not want that for our kids. Plus, as a social worker for the state, I saw the kinds of discipline problems that PS kids are exposed to daily, and just didn't want it for my kids.

When our oldest was ready for 1st grade, we went into the public shool to meet his teacher, and asked her what he would be learning that year. She told us letters and numbers. When we told her that he already knew how to read, and do addition and subtraction, she said he would be learning his letters and numbers, and if he already knew them, he could help other kids. We saw no reason to set him back a year or more to conform to the average kid his age, plus We knew he would be bored to tears, and a discipline problem, so we kept him home and have never regretted it. (OK, there were a few days that we regretted it, but my wife mostly had to deal so... )

Other reasons have to do with the political correctness that rules public school curriculum, where actual facts are second to agenda's being pushed by certain groups.. (I'll leave it at that, or I'll end up on my soap-box and no one wants that! )

As for socialization, it depends on what you mean. Homeschool doesn't mean you lock your kids in the atic untill they are 18. Our kids are in lots of groups, church, homeschool groups, community sports teams, gymnastics, music lessons at the conservatory... The list is long. We spend as much time, or more, carting them from place to place as most parents. They all have a normal sized circle of friends that they interact with, we just had more control over who those kids are then we otherwise would have.

The other argument I often use is this.. as an adult, how many kids from grade school are you still close too? High School? Probably very few. How close are you to your family as an adult? I think kids learning that thier family is thier primary social group, not a random group of kids at school, is a good thing.

What our kids don't do is spend thier days in a room with 20+ other kids thier own age with one adult. Not all socialization is good! They don't want to dress like Britany Spears, or know what overpriced sneakers they 'must have', or feel the same peer pressure to conform to societies crumbling standards that other kids do.. (look out, here comes that soap-box again.. ) In that regard they are hopelessly unsocialized, and and we're quite proud of that.

Studies of homeschooled kid consistently show that they are better socialized than PS kids in ways that count, such as having the ability to interact with a wide range of age groups, not just kids exactly thier own ages, which is, by the way, a very unnatural environment, where else in life do you get it?

Anyway, there are as many reasons to homeschool as there are people who homeschool, so you'll probably get lots of answers. I for one don't think it's right for every family, or every child, its' just right for ours.


OK, now the real reason we homeschool.....Disney in September Just kidding, but it is nice!

Sorry if this was more answer than you were looking for, but we get this question a lot!

 

[nuzmom]

I can't believe what a GREAT reply DreadpiratK had. Those are our feelings, too.

Basically, for us it was a gradual "building up to it" issue. We pulled DS9 out of public school early in second grade year. He tests very high above grade level and was totally bored with school anyway. Our school offered remedial classes, but no advanced classes until 3rd grade. I spoke with the teacher for the "gifted" class and she made it very clear that it wasn't that great (yeah, really). The kids would be pulled out of "regular class" once per week (as long as she wasn't subing for another teacher that day) and they would give them extra work to do. Additionally, they would have to make up the work they missed from their regular class. I had read that if you take that approach that gifted kids just need to have more work load, that they learn very quickly to not be gifted. It really seemed like school wasn't going to offer much acedemically. I was already supplementing his education at home in the evenings, but with homework increasing, time was getting squeezed. Oh, don't even get me started on how much homework they get. Most of our 1st grade classes had homework EVERY night. I was really starting to wonder what they did in school all day. Well, that was really just one of the smaller issues for us.

Another issue involved how the teacher utilized my son (and others). The teacher had her class arranged with the kids desks grouped together. I liked his teacher, but about 1 month into school, she moved my son from his "group" into another. I was concerned (why?) and met with her. She said that she was having particular problems with this one group and my DS was the "leader" of the best behaved group, so she moved him to settle the other group down. Also, she had him help the other kids do their work when he finished his. My son was frustrated that his group talked while they were supposed to be working and the whole group would stay in during recess for bad behavior. My son felt like he was being punished. Not a good situation. Why make your child go through this? We're talking second grade!!!

I totally agree with DreadpiratK about the schools teaching social issues/politcal correctness. I consider myself a conservative christian, but not "over the edge" or anything. Well, what my son was being taught in school ("all factories are bad because they polute" - his Pap pap works in a factory for goodness sakes) didn't even come close to what we want our child to learn. (SOME factories polute and that's bad)

Yes, "what about socializing" is asked all the time (I even used to ask it), but is that why we send our kids to public school? My son socializes during baseball, church school, choir, library, co-op, during playdates, etc. I LOVE the fact that he can really "join in" with any age group. Age is NEVER an issue with him. Also, totally agree that there are definitely some socializing that I'm glad my son doesn't do.

The last day my DS attended public school was spent on a field trip. The entire class of second graders was taken to see the movie "Cat in the Hat" ON THE DAY THAT IT OPENED!!!! Not ONE teacher had seen the movie and not ONE parent was able to read reviews of it. I just happened to be a chaperon for it. It was TERRIBLE - not just the movie, the kids. There was a lot of "humor" in that movie that wasn't suitable to 7 year old kids (this was Nov, so most kids weren't 8 yet). What was worse was that more than 1/2 of the kids "got it" - they got the "adult" humor. I was shocked and saddened.

For our family, the decision to homeschool was a gradual process and one not taken lightly. After all, I graduated from the same school my children would attend (and I have a BS in Mechanical Engineering), it couldn't be that bad, right? Well, we LOVE homeschooling and can see that it was a GREAT decision for our family. It's still tough and it's a huge commitment, but it's one that I very willingly accept.

I, too, hope you get many responses. I appreciate the fact that you asked the question in a very non-threatening way. I hope that you are sincerely just looking to understand homeschoolers better. I will talk to anyone like that, any day (and talk and talk and talk)!!!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I homeschool b/c I want to and can.

It is very flexible and my child can learn at her pace instead of a predetermined pace.

She gets her socialization through co-op, dance & tumbling, and church. Both girls have very outgoing personalities--they do not lack social skills.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Wanted to add something I heard at convention--from a speaker there...when asked why he homeschools, his response: for the socialization.

 

[952LisaR]

Very interesting and very well written responses. Thanks for taking the time to respond.

What is co-op?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Very interesting and very well written responses. Thanks for taking the time to respond.

What is co-op?

homeschool group setting where your student can learn with other students any given number of topics.

Set up from basic group gatherings to actual classroom time studying an academic subject together.

It is a way to supplement your homeschool curriculum.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

Hi! I am VERY interested in homeschooling my daughter. She is still young * preschool* but, I so so so agree with everything the previous homeschooling mom's have said. My husband on the other hand is Not agreeing with me. Have any of you had this problem..and possiably a way to help convince him?? How did you get started in Homeschooling? If anyone is willing I have a TON of questions!! lol

Thanks!!

 

[estherhead]

The short answer is this: Public school tends, perforce, to teach to the middle, if you're too far on either end of the curve you get left behind, and we did not want that for our kids.

This is my first year as the teacher. I was homeschooled from 10th-graduation because of this exact reason. My parents felt like by sending me to school they were wasting my time. We lived in a rural area, only 50 people or so to each graduating class. I could read by four years of age and got almost all of my learning from books and from my parents and our world-wide travels. My entire 5th grade year was spent playing euchre as my teacher was the vice-principal and the principal got sick and we didn't have a substitute teacher. At the time it was illegal in our state to homeschool (we got taken to court for truancy.) But my parents finally got sick of it all and won and I quit PS at 14.

Anyway, back to why I am now homeschooling my daughter. I wanted to send her to PS as I have a very full schedule but her bd is in October and you have to be 5 by August here in southern Ohio. She won't be, but can already read and is very eloquent and mature. So I took her in to have her tested for early entry and they said that she qualified but with the Senate really cracking down on the no child left behind they were not going to accept her because they really want her to "excel" and get "very high testing results" if she waited a year. I know their money is dependant on a high average score on those tests, but although I want to help the local schools, my concern for my daughter comes first.

I'm sorry to rant a bit on this as I am a big supporter of PS, but not tying teacher's hands by making testing equal funds. My daughter would ADORE having a teacher and learning with other kids. But if you are not living in a place with school options, it just isn't the same. So I feel like I take a lot of abuse for wanting the best for my girls. I asked my daughter her preferance, wait a year and get to go to PS, or start now and have mommy as a teacher. NOW, NOW, NOW!

As far as socialization, I am 100% extroverted. There are people here constantly, we stay in people's houses all over the world, my girls have their own friends and spend the night and get invited to their own parties (that I am NOT invited to, lol.) I also take them to dance classes, swim lessons, etc. And this week my daughter read on stage in front of about 70 people. I was so proud, she was as poised as could be. She is four, and my other daughter is three. Also, we'll be meeting with friends (who have kids doing K-12 just like us) twice a week for science, history, art, and music. Phonics, literature, and math we'll do on our own.

So that is my shortened story. Every child is different. Every parent is different. Every school is different. What we all want is our children as happy adults, living up to their potential. HS & PS (or in my case both!) can lead to a great life. Great parents make great kids.

Esther

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Hi! I am VERY interested in homeschooling my daughter. She is still young * preschool* but, I so so so agree with everything the previous homeschooling mom's have said. My husband on the other hand is Not agreeing with me. Have any of you had this problem..and possiably a way to help convince him?? How did you get started in Homeschooling? If anyone is willing I have a TON of questions!! lol

Thanks!!

My hubby did not agree--then he came up with the bright idea of attending a convention. He's sold as long as we don't lock ourselves from the outside world for the next 18 years...and I think his accountability standards will be higher than any state.

It's baby steps--and I don't personally believe in convincing...but rather showing! Hubby probably has preconceived notions and if he's anything like my hubby "b/c I said so" isn't the best answer . I researched---I read---I investigated. I joined a homeschool group that allowed preschoolers so that we could be interacting with other families who homeschool.

Convention where he coudl be exposed to lots of dads--attend seminars for dads--see other dads supporting it.

I haven't won him over for high school yet---but I went from NO WAY--to partnership for homeschooling K-6.

 

[rcpae]

I commend you devmer for asking these questions. I think it gives you information, and reinforces our reasons for homeschooling.

These posters have given great responses with their reasoning. I wholeheartedly agree with them!

We are starting our 7th year of HS'ing, and some days are better than others. But that goes with anything! I had originally enrolled my oldest daughter, and took her to the school for the walk through. All along I had been struggling with possibly HS'ing. I have to say my husband has always been supportive, so he was encouraging. I decided to homeschool that first year and then decide after that year what we wanted to do the next year. Well, after 6 completed years...the rest is history.

My daughters are happy. Whenever we talk about public school, they comment on all the things they would miss out on if we DIDN'T homeschool!

Good luck on your quest!

 

[8 Ears]

Wonderful thread! It is a question I have often had but did not dare ask. I enjoyed reading all the answers.
I have seen how much our boys learn by traveling. Real life such as we just visited the Vietnam Wall. It had a greater impact on all of than just seening a number in a book that we could not relate to. Each name is someone who died, just very striking! My Mom was with us and the boys heard real stories, not the ones in the books. They asked questions that they may not of in a typical school setting.

Bravo to all of you who do homeschool!

 

[DreadpiratK]

Hi! I am VERY interested in homeschooling my daughter. She is still young * preschool* but, I so so so agree with everything the previous homeschooling mom's have said. My husband on the other hand is Not agreeing with me. Have any of you had this problem..and possiably a way to help convince him?? How did you get started in Homeschooling? If anyone is willing I have a TON of questions!! lol

Thanks!!

Well, I am a homeschooling dad, so if there's any specific concern I can help with, I'd be happy too! It's funny, I love to talk about homeschooling, and always say 'we' homeschool. Truth is my DW does the homeschooling for the most part, I just step in and help with certain topics.

It's kind of funny that people seem to think that HS'ers are less involved in the world than people who send thier kids to PS. The truth is, we are far more involved in our community, and certainly in our childrens lives than we would be if we sent them to school. We have more freedom to do this, and make more of an effort. We have to use the community resources around us because we can't rely on the school to provide things for us.

Certainly we get involved in actvities and events outside the home far more than your average two-income family that sends thier kids to school.

 

[DisneyMom5]

You have to remember that there is a big difference between socialization and socializing.
Socialization is bascially teaching the child how to function in society. When you homeschool you direct the manner in which the child learns to function, and by whose rules. You are able to expose the child to many different situations with a more varied peer group.
Socializing is the process of hanging out with peers and having fun, and if you remember what your elementary teacher always said "We are NOT here to socialize young lady!" LOL

 

[goobergoofyswife]

The reply's are great! We home school our oldest daughter,because she learn's at a lower grade level than other kids her own age. The public school told us that they had a hard time teaching her,and one private school teacher said,she was "unteachable". "WE" have proved them all wrong! We go to church that has a great small youth group.We have been told that our oldest act's and carries herself like an 18 year old,not a 15 year old. To me that is the best complement to us and her. We use a Christian based program, that allows her to work at her own pace, and grade level in each subject.She must set her own goals for school work daily, and complete them every day.She is very good for a 15 year old,( what 15 year old, in public school, does laundry and dishes without being told to,and her room is cleaner then mine). We hope to start home schooling our youngest daughter this year. Find the right program for your child and they will thrive! In the words of Lilo and Stitch
Ohana means "Family" NO one gets left behind. We learn more from our family then we think!
Home Schooling is the best!!!

goobergoofyswife


Fort Wilderness Cabins Feb.'03'

 

[Swimnoid]

I was one who could not understand why people would homeschool. (Don't flame me yet, I'm not done ) Over the past several years I have gotten to know many families who homeschool for many of the same reasons listed above. The families and children are great. There is definitely not a problem with socialization either! After watching my daughter go through her years of public schooling I tend to agree with a lot of their reasons. Our schools around here are pretty good but my DD said several times over the past couple of years she would rather be home schooled. They have to deal with such garbage at times and it holds them back.

I salute all you homeschoolers!

 

[Brier Rose]

Well, I was also one who said no way to homeschooling! LOL

My DD started out attending a Private school, as was the norm in our very small town. We did like the school, it's where ALL of my family, myself included, had attended. DD was popular and the whole bit, so no worries there. Education wise was just fair.

Our change came about after a conversation my DH had with a friend that he respected very much who's children were homeschooled. He got interested, and came home telling me about it, and I was like....no way, that's just weird!
Hey, forgive me, I didn't know any better!

Well anyway, after much talking we agreed that we would try one year of Private School, and then one year of homeschooling so that we could make a fair comparison. Actually see the pros and cons first hand. Public School was NEVER an option BTW...long story.

So here it is 6 years later, and we're still homeschooling, so happily! Best thing we could have ever done for our children and for our family as a whole.

There are a lot of different reasons why we do it, many have already been mentioned here. I'm almost hesitant to say this, as I'm afraid how it will be interpreted, but we also do homeschool to shelter our kids.

Oh boy! There I said it! One of the number one attacks the "outsiders" like to use, I'm admitting to.

I don't want to control my children, or make them unable to function in the "real world". I just want them to be able to be children like they were meant to be, not what children of the present time have become. (not meant as an attack on anyone's children..AT ALL).

Just speaking in general, I think it's so disheartening to see what is common and acceptable behavior for kids these days.
No, I will not be able to keep certain things from them forever, not would I want to! I do however want to control how and when they learn such things.
I want to have a little more time to instill our values in them, let them develop a since of who they are, not who they need to try and be. Help them to become confident and strong individuals who are able to make good choices before they have to deal with it.

Lord, I feel like I'm setting myself up to be called a brainwashing, indoctrinating, homeschooling, WACKO!

Just trying to be honest.

 

[mom2rb]

I WAS a home school hater. I have been a gymnastics coach for 19 years. The home schooled kids I worked with years ago were very sheltered and had a hard time making friends. Well about 10 years ago I started seeing a difference in the kids. Lots of people were homeschooling. I could no longer tell which kids were home schooled and which weren't. Then I started seeing all the stress my little girls were having. I told an eight year old to point her toes and she started bawling. Her mother's reason " well their getting ready for the TAS ". I knew I didn't want that for my kids but I never thought I could home school. I even spent a two years of my life starting an alternative school because then they could go there. The boys and I were very burnt out from that experience.

Then I thought OK we'll just do public Kindergarten. How bad could it be? When I went to put them in I was told that my twins could not be in the same class. Not even P.E. They wouldn't even discuss it with me. I felt as a parent I should have at least been a part of this decision.

So we started homeschooling, just until we found something better . We are about to start are third year and we are very happy. DH doesn't think it can last so we have to have a back-up plan. The school I helped start is still there, so if we need it we will go.

 

[DreadpiratK]

Lord, I feel like I'm setting myself up to be called a brainwashing, indoctrinating, homeschooling, WACKO!

Ok, but if I called you that, it would be a compliment

It wasn't very long ago that what you describe was considered just good parenting, or even just normal parenting. Then, as a society we decided that the government, in the form of public schools, could do a better job of raising our children then we could. "it takes a village" and all that nonsense. We abdicated our responsibility to teach our children how to behave, and what to believe, and let the schools do it. Now they are so busy teaching these things, they can't educate anymore.

It's funny, when you're promoting a politically correct worldview, it's education, when you are promoting traditional values, it's indoctrination, or brainwashing. Ever notice that?

Remember:
"It takes a viking to raze a village"