OT - Trying for #2 Dilemma, advice please :)

[mom2faith]

I have posted before regarding DH and I trying for #2. We have been trying since 2006 and took a "break" for a few month last year and have been really at it since Sept 2008.

Here is my Dilemma. I have sworn I would never let TTC intefere with our normal life (well as much as possible, but it is hard). This month it is especially hard.

I have to make this decision TODAY as I am ovulating today or tomorrow (TMI - sorry).

If we get pregnant this month I will be just at the end of my first trimester when we leave. Based on my last pregnancy, that is when I was the sickest!! I know each one is different, but I was really sick and hospitalized twice for dehydration because I could not even keep water down.

Also, if I get pregnant this month, I will not be able to attend the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver which I was lucky enough to get tickets for. I am taking my mom, and I know my dad will go in my place, but still. I do not want to miss it. (Vancouver is an 18 hour drive or a 3 hour flight, and I will be 38 weeks so it will be a definate no).

So, my question is, do I tempt fate and "not" try - therefore maybe giving up a chance. Or do I try and suck it up.

What would you do??

Amy

 

[adventure_woman]

Personally - I would wait. We're thinking about trying when I get back from Disney in August. I told DH I was NOT going to be pregnant at Disney - during the 1st trimester. I want to EAT and not feel NAUSOUS all the time!

I would also try to time it so you can still go to the Olympics - that is a once in a lifetime thing - try trying again when you would be less farther along.

 

[WDWorBUST]

I would say it depends on a couple of things. How old you are comes to mind along with how many children total you want.

Personally.....we have a 5 year old DD. We want another child and have been trying since Oct 2008. I got pregnant in February but had a miscarriage in April. I am 35 and for personal reasons AND the increased miscarriage rate and other problems as you get older I don't want to be much older when we have a child. So I wouldn't skip a month trying. But then I have given myself a deadline of the end of this year to be pregnant or accept that DD is going to be an only child.

Since you have already been trying for a couple of years there is no way I would skip trying a month - but that's just me. You may be 25 years old and feel no pressure at all. And if that's the case what difference will a month make?

 

[mom2faith]

I would say it depends on a couple of things. How old you are comes to mind along with how many children total you want.

Personally.....we have a 5 year old DD. We want another child and have been trying since Oct 2008. I got pregnant in February but had a miscarriage in April. I am 35 and for personal reasons AND the increased miscarriage rate and other problems as you get older I don't want to be much older when we have a child. So I wouldn't skip a month trying. But then I have given myself a deadline of the end of this year to be pregnant or accept that DD is going to be an only child.

Since you have already been trying for a couple of years there is no way I would skip trying a month - but that's just me. You may be 25 years old and feel no pressure at all. And if that's the case what difference will a month make?

I think you understand exactly what I am getting at here!!!

I am 33 and we have been trying for over 2 years (less a few months). I do feel pressure - espcially as DD gets older. I really want to give her a sibling to play with, not one she will hardly know because she is so much older than him/her.

I do not want to go to WDW sick and tired and peeing all day long, but I do not want to miss another chance either!!

I am so torn, everytime I make the decision, I immediatly change my mind and think the other way is best. GRR!!! Why does this have to be so hard?!?!

Amy

 

[DonnaBelle06]

Its a personal decision....

I myself have been TTC for 5 years now without getting PG (had a m/c Jan 2, 2004 and nothing since).

Of course I'm 37...so older than you but have been trying since I was 32.....

I say try.....if its meant to happen it will - and if not..then it won't..

Of course this is JUST my opinion...Good Luck with any decision you make!

 

[reyasmommy]

I agree with the PP.

My husband and I tried for almost a year and I'm now 3 months pregnant. We agreed NOT to plan our next vacation until I became pregnant because I didn't want to be sick and tired the entire vacation. So we've decided our next trip to WDW is going to be March 2010 because the baby will be 3 months old then.

Sorry, you're having such a hard time. Are you sure you're ovulating when you think you are?

When I FINALLY got pregnant I thought my due date was going to be Nov 30th, (based on my last period) but when I had my 1st ultrasound it showed that I was a week later then originally thought. My actual due date is Dec 9th. So I was actually ovulating a week later.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[mom2faith]

I agree with the PP.

My husband and I tried for almost a year and I'm now 3 months pregnant. We agreed NOT to plan our next vacation until I became pregnant because I didn't want to be sick and tired the entire vacation. So we've decided our next trip to WDW is going to be March 2010 because the baby will be 3 months old then.

Sorry, you're having such a hard time. Are you sure you're ovulating when you think you are?

When I FINALLY got pregnant I thought my due date was going to be Nov 30th, (based on my last period) but when I had my 1st ultrasound it showed that I was a week later then originally thought. My actual due date is Dec 9th. So I was actually ovulating a week later.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Yeah, I am as sure as I can be. I use OPK's every month (ovulation predictor kits). I cannot temp. because of my Hyperprolactinanema (high prolactin). I am on Parlodel for it, but for some reason my temp chart is just wonky so I gave up on that.

I also track my CM. (For those of you who track it you know what that means).

DH was tested and his swimmers are good to go (which means it is me). This is good news, but also bad news, as now I feel even more pressure knowing that any problems are on me. (I know I should not "think" that way, but how can you not).

I hate this. It was not supposed to be this way. I was supposed to be significantly pregnant by now. I was supposed to be canceling my trip before buying the airfare last March. I was supposed to have a baby at the Olympics.

Oh well....

Amy

 

[allyphoe]

Since you have already been trying for a couple of years there is no way I would skip trying a month - but that's just me.

Me, too. I have a very seasonal job, and had to skip a couple of months (newborn + zero family income = bad), and went all the way up to "would have to be working 60 hours weeks with a 4-week-old baby if it came on time" rather than miss that last month. As it happened, we got lucky the first month back after the break (where the timing was "36-week baby would come days after the season ended"). FX that you'll have a big pink + soon, and an easy pregnancy!

 

[reyasmommy]

Yeah, I am as sure as I can be. I use OPK's every month (ovulation predictor kits). I cannot temp. because of my Hyperprolactinanema (high prolactin). I am on Parlodel for it, but for some reason my temp chart is just wonky so I gave up on that.

I also track my CM. (For those of you who track it you know what that means).

DH was tested and his swimmers are good to go (which means it is me). This is good news, but also bad news, as now I feel even more pressure knowing that any problems are on me. (I know I should not "think" that way, but how can you not).

I hate this. It was not supposed to be this way. I was supposed to be significantly pregnant by now. I was supposed to be canceling my trip before buying the airfare last March. I was supposed to have a baby at the Olympics.

Oh well....

Amy

I'm sorry!

There's this website called www.babycenter.com. They have tons of message boards and one in particular REALLY helped me when I was having a hard time conceiving. I don't know the exact name of it, but it was a TTC message board. It was nice being able to talk to other ladies that were in the same boat as me.

Did you have a hard time with your first? I didn't! I got pregnant on the second try, so it was a real shock and hard to handle when I couldn't get pregnant this time.

Hope thing's work out for you. I'm sending lots of baby dust your way!!

 

[LauraP0409]

I am kind of in the same boat, I guess it would depend on if you are willing to give up your trips.

My husband and I have had alot of issues TTC, we were blessed with DD#1 on our own after 2 years of trying, and then with DD#2 it was a matter of another 3 years, after lots of fertility testing, surgery to get rid of Endo, and finally we used fertility drugs. It was a long road and I swore I would never "prevent it" (we want a few more kids).

We had been trying for #3 for a while before my DH got deployed for 6 months and I had planned on going right back into trying when he got home in Jan. Well we had been planning a trip to WDW in November, and my DH didn't want to take any chances that I would be PG and not able to ride the rides with DD7 (she is a daredevil and will go on all the rides she is tall enough for, my husband is a big chicken and freaked out on splash mountain, so he won't go on any thrill rides with her )

We are not sure when we will get back to WDW again, so he wants to make sure that we will have a great time, and not have to worry about issues with a PG. It is killing me because I am now on the pill (this is to prevent, but also to help with issues with Endo) and I can't "try" until Dec. after our trip, and he is slotted to deploy again in Jan. So I am giving up almost a year of TTC when who knows if it would happen or not, and it is hard.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

 

[jsphotography]

I say keep trying. If you do get pregnant, I think in the long run you wont mind not feeling 100% on your vacation if it means you get to have another baby. It might stink in the moment, but I guess I tend to think more 'big picture'. If you and your husband really want another baby sooner rather than later, I say definitely keep trying :0)

 

[mom2faith]

I'm sorry!

There's this website called www.babycenter.com. They have tons of message boards and one in particular REALLY helped me when I was having a hard time conceiving. I don't know the exact name of it, but it was a TTC message board. It was nice being able to talk to other ladies that were in the same boat as me.

Did you have a hard time with your first? I didn't! I got pregnant on the second try, so it was a real shock and hard to handle when I couldn't get pregnant this time.

Hope thing's work out for you. I'm sending lots of baby dust your way!!

I have not been on Babycenter for a while, I have been on motheringdot. But the ladies there are really into a lot of things I am not. Not cutting them down, just a different style of parenting - KWIM?

DD #1 took over a year. Same problems, except as soon as I went on the Parlodel we got pregnant. I just assumed that when we went on the Parlodel we would be pregnant right away.

I am kind of in the same boat, I guess it would depend on if you are willing to give up your trips.

My husband and I have had alot of issues TTC, we were blessed with DD#1 on our own after 2 years of trying, and then with DD#2 it was a matter of another 3 years, after lots of fertility testing, surgery to get rid of Endo, and finally we used fertility drugs. It was a long road and I swore I would never "prevent it" (we want a few more kids).

We had been trying for #3 for a while before my DH got deployed for 6 months and I had planned on going right back into trying when he got home in Jan. Well we had been planning a trip to WDW in November, and my DH didn't want to take any chances that I would be PG and not able to ride the rides with DD7 (she is a daredevil and will go on all the rides she is tall enough for, my husband is a big chicken and freaked out on splash mountain, so he won't go on any thrill rides with her )

We are not sure when we will get back to WDW again, so he wants to make sure that we will have a great time, and not have to worry about issues with a PG. It is killing me because I am now on the pill (this is to prevent, but also to help with issues with Endo) and I can't "try" until Dec. after our trip, and he is slotted to deploy again in Jan. So I am giving up almost a year of TTC when who knows if it would happen or not, and it is hard.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

To you and your family!! Good luck to you and your husband!!!

For me the thrill rides are not the issue, I go on them but do not like them so I would welcome the "excuse". My problem is the puking!! I do not know if any of you did this, but with DD#1 I puked so hard I peed my pants several times - not fun in WDW. I also could barely eat and if I did , it did not stay down long. We cannot change our trip because the flights are nmon-refundable.

I say keep trying. If you do get pregnant, I think in the long run you wont mind not feeling 100% on your vacation if it means you get to have another baby. It might stink in the moment, but I guess I tend to think more 'big picture'. If you and your husband really want another baby sooner rather than later, I say definitely keep trying :0)

That is what is holding me back from stopping. Really, what is one pukey vacation in the scheme of things?!?!

I will keep you posted.

Amy

 

[Lil_Me]

If you get pregnant and if you feel rubbish on your vacation and if you miss the Vancouver Olympics, then you'll still have a gorgeous baby instead.

That's a lot of ifs and a plus side whatever way you look at it so I'd go for it

 

[CrzyforPiglet]

I would keep trying b/c even if you skipped this month and waited a month if you were successful next month you'd still be 34 weeks pregnant for the Olympics which is still a little close for comfort (at least for me) to be that far from home and your doctors so then do you wait another month? Just keep trying so that you never have a regret and thing what if.

Best luck and wishes!

 

[sk!mom]

What does your DH say?

IMO, if the fact that a pregnancy would mess up your vacation is even a consideration then I wouldn't go ahead with a pregnancy right now.

 

[krcit]

Good luck with your decision-I know it's hard. 6 of one, half dozen of another, lol. When I was trying for number 3, I was trying to schedule 'things' so that my odds of a girl were increased. I already had 2 girls and wanted another. Anyway, we went off schedule and I did get pg with my ds. So, sometimes things happen for a reason! BTW, have you discussed your ttc with your Dr? I had a bit of a struggle conceiving my 2cnd dd-charted, temps, ovulation kits and finally went on Clomid for one cycle and bingo. there's a great book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility. If you haven't read it, I really recommend it.Good luck!

 

[starrynyt]

I had trouble getting pregnant my first time and took 4 years and 3 attempts at IVF (thankfully I have great insurance) before managing to get pregnant with my triplets. My second pregnancy was an oops when the triplets turned one so my situation is/was different. But I can tell you for me and always look back and say "if only I had tried those months I would have gotten pregnant" I know that it probably isn't true but that is how I think.

If you are going to beat yourself up later for not trying these months then I say do it. If not then maybe not. Good luck with your decision and I hope that you get that beautiful baby in your arms soon!

 

[mom2faith]

Hi all!!

First of all thank you for the great advice and well wishes!!

I have discussed options with my DR, she is still concerned with my Prolactin levels at this time and we will not be trying Clomid or any other measures until we can get the Prolactin levels sorted out. (Average person has a level of 17 and mine is in the 90's. Parlodel is helping, but the dosing is not working out perfectly yet). High prolactin does not mean I cannot get pregnant, it just means I have a harder time as my body thinks it is nursing. (Yes, I do produce milk when I am not pregnant - tell me that does not scare the crap out of a 19 yo!! I had no idea what was going on when it first started!!!)

DH thinks this is my decision. I know he wants me to be happy with a baby, but he also remembers how sick I was last time. He knows that a trip to the world would not be fun if I was that sick.

So after much back and forth, I have decided to wait for 2 cycles before actively "trying". It was seriously one of the hardest decisions I have ever made and I feel a bit selfish. But, I know it is for the best for these reasons:

• I will not be sick in WDW (at least not morning sicknes)
• I will be able to go to the Olympics, as if I wait 2 cycles the most pregnant I will be is 30 weeks or so.
• I need a "break". The heartbreaking up and downs of thinking anf hoping you are pregnant every month is a lot on the emotions. A 2 cycle "break" is just what I need right now.

Thank you again!!

Amy

 

[koima]

Amy, I struggled to get pregnant with DD and we tried for a year before she finally "stuck". Don't you hate how everyone says, just relax and it will happen? I'm not going to say that. I know how heartbreaking it can be month after month, and I think a 2 month break is probably good for your mental health. And if you're not abstaining during those two months, you just never know, it could happen on its own.

Hopefully you'll get back from your TTC break refreshed and ready to make a baby!

 

[Karenj2]

Hi all!!

First of all thank you for the great advice and well wishes!!

I have discussed options with my DR, she is still concerned with my Prolactin levels at this time and we will not be trying Clomid or any other measures until we can get the Prolactin levels sorted out. (Average person has a level of 17 and mine is in the 90's. Parlodel is helping, but the dosing is not working out perfectly yet). High prolactin does not mean I cannot get pregnant, it just means I have a harder time as my body thinks it is nursing. (Yes, I do produce milk when I am not pregnant - tell me that does not scare the crap out of a 19 yo!! I had no idea what was going on when it first started!!!)

DH thinks this is my decision. I know he wants me to be happy with a baby, but he also remembers how sick I was last time. He knows that a trip to the world would not be fun if I was that sick.

So after much back and forth, I have decided to wait for 2 cycles before actively "trying". It was seriously one of the hardest decisions I have ever made and I feel a bit selfish. But, I know it is for the best for these reasons:

• I will not be sick in WDW (at least not morning sicknes)
• I will be able to go to the Olympics, as if I wait 2 cycles the most pregnant I will be is 30 weeks or so.
• I need a "break". The heartbreaking up and downs of thinking anf hoping you are pregnant every month is a lot on the emotions. A 2 cycle "break" is just what I need right now.

Thank you again!!

Amy

Hi Amy - I'm glad I read all the way through, so I saw your decision... IMHO, I would have kept trying, but I completely understand the need to take a break... DH and I have been trying for 11+ years (active for 6, with a LONG 5 year break when I was laid off and we couldn't afford the IVF treatments). When we were actively trying, I kept turning down various activities (Hershey Park, etc.) because "what if" I was PG... After 6 years of "what if" I decided that I'm going to live my life, and if I get lucky enough, then I'll deal.

In fact, I'm going through IVF this month, and we've got an August WDW trip planned. If I'm lucky enough, I plan to just enjoy being nauseous and pregnant at WDW instead of at work. But, I'm not letting it stop me from trying to get PG or living my life!

Anyway - pregancy pixie dust to you! I hope it works when you're ready!!

OH! - BTW, when I was getting tests done for this round of IVF, my prolactin levels were high, and I was told that there were some foods/activities that could make your levels high. If I find the link I read, I'll let you know. (I know caffiene was one culprit, and some form of nut was another, hot showers also did it...) My levels were in the high 30s the first test, but dropped to 12 or so when I did a fasting test.