OT: Transitioning my DD to a bed - help!

[SalandJeff]

My dd is 38 months. She is a great sleeper - sleeps through the night always, goes in without any trouble usually and falls asleep fairly quickly. She never tried to climb out of the crib until last week. So now it's time for the big girl bed. We got the bed and have set it up. She was very excited and said it was her princess bed. Tonight for the 1st time we tried to get her to sleep in the bed. No Way! She laid down on the bed with a book, but would not let us put her pillow or blanket on the bed. And when I suggested she go to sleep there, she started crying that she did not want to go to sleep. Once in a while she does protest going to bed and says she wants to stay up and will do the fake cry for a couple of mins. But she was sobbing and saying she didn't want to go to bed. I tried to sooth her and tell her she had to go to bed and did she want to go in the bed or crib and she finally said the crib.

So how do I get my girly to sleep in her big girl princess bed? Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks!

 

[robinb]

Perhaps she just needs a bit more time to transition from the crib to the bed. I know that I would be upset to have my sleeping arrangments changed on me and I'm not 3 years old!

 

[flying_babyb]

Give it a few days where she can see the bed. Be prepaired to mabye have to stay with her the first night you get her into bed.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I have SO been there. DS was too about three when we decided to move him to a big boy bed. We did all the right things and let him help buy it, pick sheets etc. He was always a wonderful sleeper. We would from almost the start put him in bed awake and he would go right to sleep and sleep 12 hours. If he woke up in the night I knew we would be a the dr the next day. Well 1st night he did not want to do to sleep in the new bed. He begged me to stay in his room that night. I said ok, one night and it was the start of a night mare that last for years. I wish we had just put him back in the crib and waited till he was ready. At 3 she can understand climbing out is not allowed.

I would leave the crib up and allow her to choose where to sleep. if she climbs out treat it as you would if she disobeyed you for any other reason but do not relate it to sleep.

I would not start anything you are not prepared to continue for a long time. If you are ok with lying down with her every night that is ok but if not think twice about ever starting it. Kids are smart. Leave both beds up and encourage her to play or nap during the day on the big bed. Good luck!!!!

Ms Sandra

 

[LISAVWL]

I agree with the above posters, leave the bed up and let her get used to it. We did this with my DD , even had story time in the big girl bed and one night when I went in to check on her she had climbed out of the crib and was sleeping soundly in her new big girl bed. When she is ready she will move over. Climbing out of the crib is very dangerous, make sure she knows it.

 

[jennifer293]

My dd's 6 and 2 share a room, and we got them both new twin beds with new princess bedding. Well last week we decided to go ahead and put dd2's bed up and make it all pretty with her bedding..She was thrilled at the idea, but when bedtime came it was the same deal you had with your dd. This went on for 3 nights and we just kept putting her back in the bed (she had been sleeping in the toddler bed and not been in a crib for a while now). 4th night we out her in the bed and she gave us kisses and hugs and said good night and it has been smooth sailing ever since!!! Just got to give her time!!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Is it possible that you can take the bed off the frame and let the mattress and boxspring just sit on the floor? A big tall bed my seem intimidating to a little person instead of one that she can climb onto anf off of easily. Just a thought.

 

[cinjam]

Both of my sons (6 and 3) were excellent crib sleepers and I delayed moving them to a bed because I did not want to rock the boat!

Here's what we did: We set up bed in the room w/the crib. Every day at nap- & bed-time, I would give my sons the choice "big boy bed" or "crib". DH or I always pushed for the bed, but if DS wanted the crib we let him go. Eventually he asked for the bed. Once that happened, we dismantled the crib. We warned him it was going to happen (we said another baby needed it).

We then had a small dilema with him getting out of bed. I took a lesson from Super Nanny: After the initial tuck-in (along with stories, I love you & kisses), if he got out, I would go back in the room and consistantly put him back in bed with no talking (or yelling) - I would kiss him on the forehead though I did this over, and over, and over, and over...for about 3 nights. Then he just went with the program.

Now, for both sons, we have a great routine: we do one story, tuck in, I love you, kiss, sippy cup of water beside the bed, good-night wave and leave the room. Kids go to sleep. They are allowed to get up to go to the bathroom, or if they have some type of problem. Once in a great while they just don't want to sleep (I have those nights too), and I don't fight it, I will let them have a small toy or book in bed with them.

Good luck to you - it will all work itself out - just be consistant with your routine.

 

[bgirl29]

I so feel your pain. My oldest daughter did the same thing. Like another poster said, my pediatrician recommended putting the new matress on the floor and let her get used to that first. Also do not plan on sleeping with her for one night unless you want to be sleeping with her for years to come. If both parents handle everything the same way this helps too.

Good Luck!! Whatever you decide to try I think your best bet is to stick to your guns and not keep changing your approach.

 

[molly2004]

We then had a small dilema with him getting out of bed. I took a lesson from Super Nanny: After the initial tuck-in (along with stories, I love you & kisses), if he got out, I would go back in the room and consistantly put him back in bed with no talking (or yelling) - I would kiss him on the forehead though I did this over, and over, and over, and over...for about 3 nights. Then he just went with the program.

This works during the transition period? I would think that it'd be pretty tough given the novelty of it all. Sounds pretty simple, but was it really?

My boys are almost 3. Toys mysteriously appear in their cribs. They claim they climb out and get them. Who knows? I never actually hear them!

So I've been debating the whole transition thing. Luckily we have a convertible crib so we just have to change out one side and it turns into a toddler bed. DH is mortified at the thought. I just don't know how to keep them in.

 

[SalandJeff]

Thanks to all for the encouragement and advice. I think we will give it a little time and see how she does. I thought about going in and sitting next to her for a few minutes, but am afraid of the precedent this will set. We also got a gate for the doorway which we will use once she does go in the bed. I'm afraid that she may get up early in the morning and get hurt if she is wandering around the house and we don't hear her (she's a bit of a daredevil!).

Thanks again to all.

 

[Kies99]

Wow, not sure what we did differently, but we had no problems with our daughters. From day 1 they had no issues with being in beds. Our 3you does still have those fold down "railings" on either side, but other than that they sleep 12 hours with no problem.

Same with potty training. We really didn't have to do anything. They took it into their heads that they wanted to use the "potty" and away they went.

 

[cinjam]

This works during the transition period? I would think that it'd be pretty tough given the novelty of it all. Sounds pretty simple, but was it really?

This is what we did when he chose to sleep in his bed - if he chose to sleep there (and was not asking to go in his crib, again his choice to sleep in his bed). It really was easy, and it really worked: heard him get out of bed, went in put him back in bed; no smiling, no lauging, no snuggles. Quick kiss on the forehead and back out of the room.

I have been truly blessed that both boys transitioned easily and are great sleepers. They are in bed & asleep by 9:00pm (a bit earlier for the 3yo & sometmies a bit later for the 6yo) and they wake up at 8:30am. For me, I can't ask for anything better than that!!

 

[rbork]

lol about the "how to keep them in thing"! Been there, done that. Two words: BE CONSISTANT! it's hard but do it and hang in there. I too subscribe to the nanny thing... be quiet, tuck them in and then set the microwave timer a little longer each time.
I did wake to fine DS not in his bed a couple of times, found him sleeping in his closet on the floor with his toys He would wake up, turn on the light and start playing. I did not give him any attention for it and it too soon stopped. I did gate him in so at least I would know he was in his room if there were an emergency.
Good Luck and do what's right for you!

 

[IluvKingLouis]

We put up a bed rail (one side was against the wall) on my dd bed. She was about 2.5 and I was nervous about her falling out. I think it did give her some security though. We ended up taking the rail down after a month or two.

Sometimes doing something away from home helps build confidence. Our dd was learning to go potty away from home when an automatic flush set her back (going potty at home was never a problem). We spent a weekend away from home where she had to use a toilet (hotel) elsewhere and that was all the confidence she needed. I'm wondering if your dd was to sleep with in hotel bed with you and dh nearby if that might give her some confidence.

 

[alloyd1170]

Our DS was big and climbed out of his crib before he was 2. We had a crib that converted to a toddler bed, etc. When it came time to move him to a big bed a few months later he also wanted to stay in his old bed. I tried to get him to nap in his new bed, and use the old one at night. We had a trip coming up so while we were gone, I had DH take the old bed away. DS had no choice but to sleep in his new bed, and had no problems doing so.

alison

 

[fantpan]

Many kids take a few days to settle into a new routine. It's like getting rid of the bottle or dummy. It takes your patience and pursuit. We only had trouble with one DS that still didn't like his bed after a few nights and were given the best advice from a friend. He was going from a baby blanket and sheet (cot) to a thick quilt in the bed and we were advised to put his cot bedding in with him. It was then that we realized he put himself to sleep rubbing the satin on the baby blanket.

Well it worked a treat. We had a few nights with just the cot bedding, then put the quilt over the top. We then just put the blanket on top of the quilt and then took it away. I know it sounds long winded but he didn't wake up or complain one of these nights.

 

[MSSANDRA]

This works during the transition period? I would think that it'd be pretty tough given the novelty of it all. Sounds pretty simple, but was it really?
.

Well MOST of the time it works. Not however for us. We put him back in his bed at least 8-10 times every time every night for weeks and weeks. He NEVER gave it up to go to sleep and stay in his bed. No one was getting any sleep and it was horrible. Finally gave it up and he slept with us. Should have put the crib back up!!!!

He was such a good kid in every other way but did not want to sleep in his bed. It in fact took forever to get him out of our room!!

MsSandra

 

[hvivona]

I had this problem with my now 6 yr old DD when she was 2. The first thing I did was remove the crib. I told her she was too big for it and big girls get big girl beds. I also made a huge deal out of letting her pick out the bedding. We went to the store and I let her pick out sheets, comfortor, new "big girl" pillows, and stuffed animal. She was so excited about her new bedding that she couldn't wait to get to bed! Hope this helps.

 

[Esteri]

I'm afraid all I can share is a story about the opposite situation. (Well, it is a funny story.) We had transitioned our youngest (DS5) into a toddler bed - it was a convertible crib. He shares a room with his older brother (DS9) who sleeps in a loft bed. The crib had a door in the side panel for easy exit and entry, which he'd been using since he was about 2. So, taking the sides of the crib off was a non-event.

When he was about 3 1/2 he announced that we needed to buy a new house. Why? We need a bigger house. Huh? Our house is too small. OK...What about our house is too small? My bed is too small.

Well, he still had lots of growing left in that toddler bed, and we didn't want to rearrange the furniture in the boys bedroom. So, we left things as they were.

His request went on, off and on, for several months. Always very polite, yet quite firm. Finally, running out of patience with his dim witted parents, he annouced that he was going to point to a house and we were going to move into that one. But what if there are people living there? They will have to move.

We got him is bigger bed that weekend.

I don't know, maybe you should wait till she tells you to buy a bigger house? In any case, I think you've received some really great advice and ideas here.