OT: Toddler's Bedtime Routine

[Goofy_Dad_24]

My wife and I generally take turns taking our 3 year old son to bed at night. We keep the same routine every night once he gets upstairs. We read a book, sing a couple songs, and then tell him a story. Then we go downstairs and he falls asleep immediately.

The problem is, every night my son asks if daddy is taking him to bed. If it is my turn, then he jumps up and down and gets all excited. If it is my wife's turn, then he gets upset and says he wants daddy to take him to bed. This greatly upsets my wife, as she feels that our son likes me more than her.

I was wondering if anyone had any ideas of maybe a special thing that I could suggest her and him do when it is her turn to take him to bed, something that would make him excited to go to bed when it is her turn.

We both work a lot from home, and frequently try to get work done at night, so both of us taking him to bed every night is unrealistic (plus with another kid on the way, our time will be even more diverted in the near future).

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Don't sweat it. All kids go through that phase. It will pass.

 

[deva]

Don't sweat it. All kids go through that phase. It will pass.

Ditto. Enjoy being the favorite while it lasts My DH used to feel "left out". Then he took the kids on a vacation to my MIL's and they got "attached" to him. Wanted him to do everything even once they were back at home. He couldn't wait for me to become the "favorite" again.

If it is a really a major concern, you could always have both parents for final tuck- in and kisses at the end of the whole bedtime routine

 

[Macduffy]

My son is the same way - always was a daddy's boy. I used to cry and cry over it (and it still stings a little). If he has a favorite book maybe only let mommy read it and play up how great a story reader your wife is. DH would always say "oh Ben you are so lucky mommy is reading your story tonight - she is the best story teller" - at first he'd cry and say I wasn't or that he still wanted Daddy but eventually he came around.
If she can, take him to the book store or the library and pick out some books together. Picking them out together may get him excited about her reading them to him at bedtime
I'll be honest - he still likes DH putting him to bed better but he never minds when it's mommy's turn either.

GL

 

[jennyleettu]

Could you wife find another activity that would be speical between the two of them? I know my DD loves when daddy gives her a bath, he's much more "fun" than I am dunking his head in the bath etc. I know it used to really upset me but then she started only wanting me to put her to bed. Anyway, now we both have our time with DD that's special for both of us.

 

[turtlegirl1]

We have the opposite at our house, DS (3) is a big mommy's boy and will ask for me over DH. It's taken me quite some time to take a step back, stop doing everything simply because DS asks for me, so DH can helpout & share some special time bath/bedtime activities too. The best thing for me to do is simply dissappear. DS will still ask where's Mommy, but it's usually short lived because playing in the bathtub & story time is much more fun. Then magically, I reappear for tuck in, hugs & kisses.

 

[brergnat]

There's a new baby coming? Don't worry...that dynamic of your son wanting "only you" will change QUICK once that baby shows up. Then you'll have to get real good at doing stuff for the baby while your wife deals with your older son... It's been a parenting dilemma for ages.

Don't sweat it. Like everyone has said, it's COMPLETELY normal. Typically, little boys attach to their mommies, though, so that's maybe why your wife is feeling a bit dismayed by it. My 3 year old is a total mama's boy, but he used to ONLY want Daddy to tuck him in at night for the LONGEST time. Now, though, he JUST wants me, so my DH just lays off, gives him a quick kiss (my son goes so far as to start crying and saying "BYE BYE DADDY" if he tries to tuck him in), and goes to the living room, and lets me deal with him. We know it's just a phase.

Can't take this stuff personally. Toddlers like to assert themselves in strange ways. Most of the time, they are not trying to be overtly hurtful about it.

 

[polkadotsuitcase]

You've gotten wise advice from everyone here! I totally agree -- don't sweat it. He'll cycle through you're-the-fave-mom's-the-fave-no-you're-the-fave about a quintillion times between now and the time he graduates from college, LOL. Just normal kid stuff. Just like you'll love both your kids equally, your son loves both of you equally -- there's always enough love to go around!

 

[barnaby1]

Oh how I wish I had that problem - dd wanting Daddy to put her to bed everynight!!!

Seriously don't worry, all kids play the same game, don't let your wife appear upset to your son or he will keep it up longer. As someone else has mentioned, when the new baby comes Mummy will have all the attention again.

 

[hoosiergirl7]

My DS also went through a phase like that where he didn't want me to put him to bed either. Only DH. What we ended up doing is putting him to bed together. Eventually he outgrew it.

I wouldn't worry about it.