OT-time spent cleaning house?

[Bektasmic]

We are a family of 3 (me, DH, DS 6) who has transitioned from me being a full time stay at home mom to a full time work-outside-the-home mom. Hubby is wonderful and love him to pieces but he was raised by a mom who did EVERYTHING for him and his dad (so NOT me! and he luckily, he doesn't expect me to be)...he just does not have a clue what it takes to run a house. He looked at me the other night and asked "How does this place always get so messy? We clean every weekend!" Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a blame thing, he is just honestly puzzled that a house requires more than an hour of attention once a weekend.

I used to be a big time FlyLady, but just am not willing to shoulder most of the responsibility any more...need help!

Got me to thinking...how do other people keep their homes and home chores (laundry/dishes) reasonably well kept up? In my mind, a 15-minute nightly cleanup for everyone for clutter and 2 hours on a Sat. should be enough to take care of the regular maintenance (assuming laundry and dishes are addressed as needed). He thinks that's crazy, that it shouldn't take that long! (HA!) So my questions:

1. How much time do you spend cleaning your house a week and how do you break it up (one room each day, big clean on wknd, etc...)?
2. Are there any routines that work especially well for your family? (my son is FAB at his chores so we're lucky he "polices" his own areas as well as other "whole house" chores), hubby not so great
3. Any tips for having a house that is always 15 minutes away from being ready for company?
4. Tips for dealing with paperwork (mail, bills, school papers, etc...)
5. Friendly ways to get hubby more on board? Suspect adult ADD and he has worked fairly well off a list and for short bursts with breaks, I just get annoyed at being "in charge" and having to do a list every week and also that his "breaks" tend to start taking up the entire day- need tips for self sufficiency and so I'm not treating him like a second child.

thanks for any tips/suggestions.

 

[sk!mom]

1. How much time do you spend cleaning your house a week and how do you break it up (one room each day, big clean on wknd, etc...)?DH and I take about an hour on Saturday morning to really clean. During the week, everyone keeps their own things picked up.
2. Are there any routines that work especially well for your family? (my son is FAB at his chores so we're lucky he "polices" his own areas as well as other "whole house" chores), hubby not so great--A clear division of who does what.
3. Any tips for having a house that is always 15 minutes away from being ready for company?Don't sweat it- just spend a quick 15 minutes when company is actually coming or it's driving you crazy.
4. Tips for dealing with paperwork (mail, bills, school papers, etc...)--I sort and deal with school papers, mail, etc... every night. It takes maybe 5 minutes, to deal with it. I file items that should be kept and immediatly trash or shred the rest. DH does not feel like dealing with it each night, I respect his preference- my solution- a really pretty basket that all his mail and such is placed in. He deals with it as he chooses but it's out of sight until then.
5. Friendly ways to get hubby more on board? I also resented the feeling of being in our charge - our solution- no weekly lists just a clear division of who does what. Then I do not nag. DH does all the vacumming and dusting. I clean the kitchen and bathrooms and the non carpeted floors. I do the shopping and laundry. DH does all lawn care. Daily, I cook dinner and he does the dishes. It works well and we each spend maybe 4 or 5 total hours a week on house/lawn upkeep.
thanks for any tips/suggestions.

Failing that, maybe hire someone to come in once a week to do the heavy cleaning. We don't want to pay.

 

[Bektasmic]

Thanks for suggestion...I especially like the one about the pretty basket for the paper stuff that doesn't require immediate attention. I should mention that we have 5 br/3.5 ba house and don't have money for housekeeper (used to be lucky enough to have bi-weekly, but can't afford it these days). Bought house and then had a layoff, so bad timing, now we actually both have two jobs, so time is limited. Hmmm...maybe we could hire for a spring/fall clean-that would at least get us started on the right foot. Anyone else do a sporadic clean from a service?

 

[RMulieri]

If I am bad and leave it all to do on one day of the week, it takes me 6 hrs or more to clean 1 4bdr ,3bath house. BUT I have been spending about 20 mins at the end of each day, putting things back and dusting/vacuuming. My 5 yr old has a chore chart and is resp. for her play room and bedroom and she is very good about it. Dh does all the laundry and helps with the dusting and vacuuming. It has cut down my time considerably. I now spend about 1 1/2 hrs cleaning the bathrooms and kitchen.The house looks clean all week, and I am no longer killing myself.We keep baskets on the stairs ( the kind that are made for stairs) One at the top, one at the bottom.At the end of each day we empty the baskets and put away stuff.

 

[bumbershoot]

5 bed, 3.5 ba? Yowza.

"In my mind, a 15-minute nightly cleanup for everyone for clutter and 2 hours on a Sat. should be enough to take care of the regular maintenance (assuming laundry and dishes are addressed as needed). He thinks that's crazy, that it shouldn't take that long!"

It takes me longer than that to do the minimum, and we have a 2 bedroom, mainly hardwood floor, *apartment*.

Sounds like he didn't realize what all you were doing. And he's having a hard time believing you now. Therefore......

If his mom is still around, he needs to have a little chat with her. Find out the reality, what happened when he was out playing or at school. Find out how much housework she did to make things seem seamless and easy.

He might even find out that she had a housecleaner, just like my MIL, who plays the housecleaning martyr but has been caught MORE than once with her "friend" who is "helping" her clean (friend comes with all her cleaning supplies, gloves, vacuum, etc) there.

So anyway, I've resisted the whole "being the boss of the house" thing for several years. But alas, I'm finding that it's just better if I do that. Hubby just doesn't get it like I do, or like I try to. So I'm slowly turning into the boss of the house, and he's learning not to grump about my little projects, b/c things always end up nicer after the project is done.

Laundry! I'm slowly really learning that if you fold the clothes *as you take them out of the dryer*, it hardly takes any time, and then it's DONE. No big piles of laundry, just stacks of folded. And then I can make a game for DS (almost 5) to put his stuff away...sometimes he likes to race, sometimes he just wants to help. On weekends, sometimes I can get hubby AND son to race each other to put folded clothes away! I just stand in the laundry room, doling out the stacks...feeling like a wicked yet brilliant queen. (this is all very recent...until recently, I was still trying to make our fair division of labor, of me washing/drying, and hubby folding and putting away, work, but it was NOT working)

Dishes! Again we had a fair division of labor, of me cooking (usually) and hubby cleaning and putting dishes away. That wasn't working, either, as things would pile up. He was never like that when he was single, but washing one person's dishes is different from 3, and he works his bum off at work and commutes and all, and I finally realized that, for us, our fair division wasn't fair at all. Too little for me, too much for him. But that doesn't mean the dishes are mine to do. Nooooo, I still hate them FAR too much for that!

I had been urging the flylady "clean sink" thing for a few years, but he didn't want to do it. So about 3 weeks ago, I got up and just washed everything (or put it in the dishwasher), and cleared the sink. Can't shine it up as it's a black matte sink of some sort, but still, it's clear and clean. He saw this happen for 3 days, joined in on the 3rd to help me out. Now we usually do this together. It's in the 3rd or so week, it's becoming a habit, so even if we're up late talking or reading Harry Potter out loud, before we go to bed we still are washing the dishes and clearing the sink! It has made for a much NICER kitchen.


My stepdad and mom did this, by the way, and they both worked full time (same Company, commuted together, but still washed dishes together)...made dinner together, ate, then washed up together. I thought it was so annoying and gaggy, but here I am, doing the same, and it's really nice!


And hubby noticed that the dishes are actually cleaner, b/c the stuff isn't getting stuck on for days and days. Our cutting boards are nicer, too, b/c he had a tendency to stick them in the sink where they would get waterlogged and disgusting.


Since we have wood floors, we just have the swiffer out ALL the time. There's construction going on on our street (we live just outside of downtown and it's a beautification project) and we have dust all the time. A new microfiber duster is also out where it is easily grabbed and used.

I like vacuuming, so whenever I think about it I clean the bedroom floors. And that requires picking up a bit, so it's a nice cleaning session.



I guess at this point, having gotten to where I am, I would suggest trying to be OK with being the Queen of the house, the one who points people at areas and tells them what to do. I'm sure my mom (who worked full time from when I was 4 y.o. until she died) hated that she had to do that with us when we lived there, but ya know, she wanted things cleaner than we did (she was a neatnik and I was a slob, and my brother just kept his mess in his room), so she did have to tell us what to do. Hubby sees "mess" differently than I do. He also ignores it in different ways than I do. I can ignore my "organizational project", and he can ignore his mess of computer stuff, but we can't ignore the other person's projects. Since I know I don't "see" my mess, I can understand how he doesn't see the mess that I see so well.



Since you're now both working, you've got to work out a system. LOL, I'm realizing that hubby might have been slowing helping me see the way to doing more, like I'm thinking you should do with hubby. I would make those lists (perhaps figure out a list of "things that must always be done" for each room, then laminate them, so you don't constantly have to reinvent the wheel?), make them available. Be the queen boss once, while making those lists, and then just remind hubby that the lists are there, and if he'd like to do a 15 minute clean, to grab a list and DO IT.

I know my son isn't infinitely helpful yet, but he's helpful enough, so I could see making a big family game of it...on weekends, every couple hours make a new 15 minute game of cleaning?

This is sounding so fun I think I'm going to get to work doing that. Of course I know I'll always get the "bathroom cleaning" list, b/c the difference between my version of cleaning the bathroom (and remember, I'm slobby!) and hubby's is like day and night...he will take a "kandoo" wipe and wipe things, and consider it clean. So hubby will swiffer the floor and help DS reorganize Playmobil while I scrub the toilet, but oh well, we each have our strengths.


I hope you're having fun working out of the home! Since we will be homeschooling, I don't see me going out to work anytime, but I've been shocked to feel the impulses, surprised to wonder what I could do with my undergrad degree (I am by postgrad degree and license a chiropractor, but I lost the urge to do that LONG ago and closed my practice in '00), etc. I'm sure if we weren't homeschoolers, I'd be looking for a schooltime job in a year or so! (which is weird to feel and think and type but here I am. Queen of the house, and not adverse to working for pay again, LOL.)

 

[Bektasmic]

Thanks! LOVING all these great suggestions. Made me remember, before we had kids, we used to spend a Sat. playing cards and drinking beers and the "loser" of each card game had to draw a chore out of the chore bucket and go do it while the other one dealt the cards. I bet we could do a modified version of this for some of the ickier chores no one wants to do (no beer for the 6 year old of course!)...maybe as the end of the main cleanign session.

Don't mind being the queen boss...in fact I think I should get a tiara or something for cleaning days! More just the fight of it all-I think I just need to get some things in writing and be the one who says "go!" so it's not so much micromanaging.

I think I need to sit down and figure out how often each room really needs to be cleaned...like the guest room just needs a quick airing out and dusting but not necessarily every week.

Love the tips-keep 'em coming if others have more!

 

[Liltx]

I am in the middle of spring cleaning. That takes me about 8 full days of work. I do this in April, August, and December. These are when I have breaks off school. I am talking a serious every inch of the house clean.

Between then I can clean the house in three hours on the weekend and about 20-30 minutes each weekday night. I clean the kitchen, bathroom counters and do laundry everyday. We have a 3 bedroom, office, 2 living, 2 dining, 2 bath, and it's a one story so that helps.

Are you thinking of having another child? We downsized when we decided to only have two kiddos and I LOVE it. We use every room in our house. Before we had a waste of space, untilities, and time cleaning. Of course this house cost more.

I actually fold the laundry outside each day while my kiddos (4 and 6) play outside.

My goal is to keep as much junk out of the house as possible. I limit the amount of dust catchers. I only have things I really need of that are special to me. I think that is the biggest tip. Too many people hold onto stuff. It can take control of your house and life.

Monica

 

[RN4Babies]

Wow...I have a one story, 3 bedroom 2 bath house, and doing a thorough cleaning takes easily four to five hours in one day, once a week.

My strategy is to keep on top of things that get out of control if I let them go....laundry, dishes, clutter, etc. My kids and I have a 20 minute pick-up every night after supper. This time of the year, if the clutter in the house isn't bad, we go outside and pick up/clean out the yard, flower gardens, etc. The chores that don't accumulate, such as dusting and vaccuuming (it takes the same amount of time to dust and vaccuum if I do it once a day or once a week) wait for my weekly cleaning.

My house is clean enough to be healthy, but it's not always "company ready"....and that's okay. I'm a single mom with two kids, a full time job, and there are things in life more important to me than having a neat as a pin house 24/7. I grew up in a house that was always spotless, and I don't remember it being a very enjoyable or relaxing place to be.

Sorry, I don't have any suggestions about your DH; I never did figure out how to get my ex to lift a finger to help out.

 

[dizluvah]

We also use a basket/in-box inside the door for daily mail.

Kitchen - I keep sink and counters free from clutter daily and load/unload dishwasher as needed. Twice a week I do a quick swiffer of the floors (we have pets). Once on weekend I really wash the kitchen/bathroom floor.

Laundry I have the best of intentions to throw a load in every few days but end up saving it for weekend and spend several hours doing it while completing other chores.

I think it is easier of I organize it this way:

Daily:
Dishes, wipe down kitchen counters, make beds, pick up bedroom floors (clothes in hamper, "stuff" in drawers/closets)

Multiple times a week:
Laundry, quick "swiffer" of kitchen/bathroom floors, wipe bathroom counters, clean mirror, sort recyclables,

Weekly:
Good Clean of kitchen/bathroom floor (sweep & real mop), Clean toilet/shower, strip beds remake with clean sheets, sort mail, pay bills, shred items as needed, vacuum living room, dust, trash/recycles to dump (we have no curb-side pick up), make meal plan for week,

Biweekly/Monthly
Clean fridge, etc.

Took me forever to write this long post so I should end here.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I must be doing something wrong. I clean for hours and never seem to get caught up. I am the only cleaner in the house, I am a SAHM and do not expect DH to help as he works 2 jobs so I can be home. My kids have chores, but even so I feel like all I ever do is clean! I'd love for it to be just 2 hours a weekend. I think instead of me giving you advice, you need to be giving me the advice. Oh, and we have 3 bedrooms and 1 bathroom, 1200 sf. I am going to keep reading any maybe after 16 years of doing this job can learn a better way...

 

[DISNEYNV]

I saw this post and had to laugh! All day long ( ok, maybe ALL week long) I have been saying what a mess our house is! I stay at home with the kids and work two evenings a week and still can't keep up. DH and I used to clean every weekend before we had kiddo number two, then it just got a little nuts with time to do freelance work and laundry and clean up the house on the weekends. DH works a lot and I have the two little ones to myself for ten hours a day on most week days. I love that I can stay home most of the time but I feel like I can't get it all done in a few nights and on the weekends we like to have family time and are always running here or there! We need to get back to weekend cleaning, but it can be a challenge with kids I will say.

We do not have a super huge house, just three bedrooms and two and a half baths and I can't believe how much STUFF we have accumulated over the past seven years.

 

[drinkme]

We have a 4 bedroom, 3 bath house. It's 2 stories, around 2500 square feet. There are 6 of us living here. Dh, I, and our oldest dd (21 years old) all work FT. I do most of the housework, all of the paperwork/bill paying, all of the meal planning/grocery shopping/cooking. I spend about an hour a day trying to keep the foyer, living room, dining room, powder room, and kitchen clean. I do the laundry (just mine, and the younger kids) on my days off. Dh is "supposed" to clean the family room, and he's supposed to wash the towels. He never does those. The family room is always disgusting, and the only time towels get washed is when I break down and do a load. Our upstairs is never 100% clean. The kids usually have their rooms somewhat picked up.

When I was a SAHM, I did EVERYTHING. Now I regret it because dh still does nothing. I sometimes get mad and yell about it, but lately I just step over the mess. I don't know how any house with kids can stay clean with less than 15 a day of cleaning.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

I don't love cleaning the house, I tend to delete the fly lady emails before I ever read them . I work part time, but I'm seriously thinking of hiring a cleaning service once a month to get the "heavy" stuff that I never seem to have time to do, like when the baseboards get grimy, etc. Why baseboards get grimy, I have no idea, but they do!

I'm good at the daily tidying most of the time, and we don't have a lot of "stuff", which I've cut way down on (we moved 8 mo ago and it was a great opportunity to toss/donate).

One big thing is to not let the stuff that comes in accumulate, there was somebody one time who said "OHIO", as in, "Only Handle It Once", and that works really well for us as a family when we're cleaning.

If you pick something up, either put it away in its final resting place or toss it, don't put it down somewhere to think about it later, because really it's just mess that you pulled a geographic on...

Except my kids think I'm crazy because I'm always running behind them shouting "Ohio, Ohio!"

 

[StephMK]

I guess it depends on your definition of clean. I don't have a set schedule or set amount of time I clean. It's kind of a do as you see it system. I clean the down bath between evening activities, 2 upstairs bath get cleaned while the kids bath. They're old enough to wash themselves, I just stay close in case I'm needed. The kitchen & baths are my big focus. Right now, my shelves are dusty but I'm ok w/that.

Kids are responsible for putting away their clean clothes & keep their room straight. If it gets messy, I give them a 10 minute clean assignment. Usually that's all it takes, they know where their toys go & they each have a hamper for dirty clothes.

DH does all the laundry, trash, cars (takes them in, he's not handy), yard/gutters and helps w/dishes, grocery shopping & cooking. I vacuum, dust, bathrooms, bill pay, project plan, do the home improvement stuff, schedule keep, handle all the appts etc. We both do kid stuff & take turns driving them to activities. We both work FT & I'm going to school this fall.

The biggest thing that helps me is that we've finally become somewhat organized in terms of most things having a place. The kids know where the games, crafts, toys are stored, DH has his drawer where I throw all his papers, etc. I try to go through closets & drawers often & pull out stuff no longer needed, worn, etc. That helps keep clutter to a minimum & easier clean up.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I too clean my bathroom while my youngest DD is in the shower. She showers herself but tends to daydream in the shower so I stay nearby to keep her on track. So, I wipe down the sink and stuff when she is in the shower. The batroom is cleaned daily and is probably the cleanest room in our house!

My biggest issue is keeping up on the laundry. DD14 now does her own and DD9 and DD7 put their own away, but wow it piles up fast. Especially with dance clothes, soccer clothes, softball clothes, gym clothes, school clothes, play clothes, work clothes... Just tying it makes me tired!

But, it's like my grandma always told me, you'll never be all caught up on laundry unless you are doing your laudry naked!

 

[sk!mom]

5 br/3.5 ba house QUOTE]


Just curious- why such a big house? My earlier reply might not be that helpful as I have a 3 bedroom/ 2 bath/ 2 living areas/ eat in kitchen. Could you downsize so that you're not such a slave to your house both financially as well as time wise? That issue is really why we never upsized. We have a small family and don't want to spend more time or money on a house.

One other thing that helps us- We are all either naturally neat or we make the effort to be neat. Therefore, when we clean there is no pick up involved as we all put things away as we go. It doesn't take long to vacuum or scrub down the kitchen if there is nothing to pick up and put away. My youngest will soon be 13 so toys haven't been an issue for some time either. When they were, we picked up toys every day before dinner. After dinner, was bath and quiet time to prepare for bed.

 

[nessz79]

One other thing that helps us- We are all either naturally neat or we make the effort to be neat. Therefore, when we clean there is no pick up involved as we all put things away as we go. It doesn't take long to vacuum or scrub down the kitchen if there is nothing to pick up and put away

I agree that this is the key to easy cleaning. My DH is a clutter-free guy- it took him a few years of our early marriage, but he's got me trained . I can't stand clutter anymore either. The key to an easy to clean house is as little clutter as possible.

I am really not a neat freak. I spend probably 20-30 mins each week day just doing laundry and dishes, etc. Then maybe 1.5-2 hours on the weekend doing basic things like bathrooms, vacuuming, and the like. My home is kind of dusty right now and I've been meaning to get to that.... . I work FT as does DH. DH spends a lot of time taking care of our cars and yard. We have a 1 acre property. Not all of it is lawn and garden, but a good amount is. DH also does the oil changes on our cars and basic maintenance. He loves to do "laundry". His version is taking the hampers, dumping them in the machine to wash, and later transferring them to the dryer. I guess he doesn't realize that the worst part is folding and putting away? DH also does the majority of the cooking. DH is also good at heavy cleaning such as washing windows, pressure cleaning the outside of the house, and steamcleaning the carpet.

My major responsibilities are: washing dishes, putting them away, vacuuming, cleaning the kids' areas and organizing their toys, dusting (not lately, though), and cleaning the bathrooms.

 

[PiperPizzaz]

Check out The House That Cleans Itself. It has some fantastic ideas in it! I checked it out from the our library. I am working on setting up my whole house this way. I never did have much luck sticking to FlyLady.

 

[Misty89]

I am one that does everything myself ( i prefer too, and i like it) i work almost Fulltime - 35 hours a week, we have 4 people, and 1 dog and 2 cats.
first off I have to say "I" am a slacker, so my house does not sparkle and shine, but it does not stink either ( not to me anyway LOL)
my daily list is:
1-Dishwasher ran in the AM, before i leave for work = so i have clean dishes to cook with when i get home. ( breakfast and night before dessert dishes normally)
2- dishwasher ran again after dinner so there are no stinky dinner dishes.
then,
3-On Wednesdays, i start at Noon, so this is my "mid-week" cleaning day, I vacum all carpets, Swifter the kitchen/laundry/bathroom, and dust all surfaces.
4-rinse and repeat on Saturday LOL
5-Laundry is dones as soon as we have enough for a full load - every 3rd or 4th day ( we have a large washing machine)
Windows are done when needed ( read:spotty) and heavy duty - Ie, edging, cob webs, shower/bathtub/shower, etc - once a month.

To make a long story short, i spend about 3 hours a week cleaning, but it is broken up time.

Edit after i read the replies.

we have a 3 bedroom, 2 bath home, the mail it gets sorted daily, trashin the trash and bills in the bill folder. and i do not clean bedrooms except once per month. ( bedding is washed weekly)

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

5 br/3.5 ba house QUOTE]


Just curious- why such a big house? My earlier reply might not be that helpful as I have a 3 bedroom/ 2 bath/ 2 living areas/ eat in kitchen. Could you downsize so that you're not such a slave to your house both financially as well as time wise? That issue is really why we never upsized. We have a small family and don't want to spend more time or money on a house.

One other thing that helps us- We are all either naturally neat or we make the effort to be neat. Therefore, when we clean there is no pick up involved as we all put things away as we go. It doesn't take long to vacuum or scrub down the kitchen if there is nothing to pick up and put away. My youngest will soon be 13 so toys haven't been an issue for some time either. When they were, we picked up toys every day before dinner. After dinner, was bath and quiet time to prepare for bed.

I would bet the easy answer to that is, because she wants one and that's the size that works for her.

As a semi-messy person who has lived in all different houses, I can tell you definitively, unlike some other things, size does NOT matter when it comes to keeping a house clean. Unless you're like, Aaron Spelling and you need a staff to run the mansion. I think there's not much difference between keeping a 5k house clean and 1500k house clean.

In fact, I would actually go so far as to say that it's easier to keep the big one clean because everything has its own spot and no area has to do double duty.

Seriously, my sewing room, which is also the kids' craft room, looks like a bomb went off in it. That used to be what my dining room looked like all the time because that's where all the sewing and crafts were done. Now, the dining room looks nice and I can close the door to the disaster that is my craft room until I have an hour or so (or TEN) to clean it.